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Default Can I save this? - 23-06-2020, 05:57 PM

Hey guys, need some advice.

Some background info;
I am 31, work as MD. My life's in check. I met this girl one night who herself is 29, independent, beautiful, sweet apartmentand a great job. I was hooked. Im done partying and sleeping around. Its been fun, but I want more.

Last Friday I was out with a friend. Met this awesome chick who I ended up going home with to her place. Fast forward, its morning, im hungover and have plans for the day.

We end up laying in bed a while before I tell her I need to go. I grab my stuff, tell her I had a good time and wish we could see each other again and then leave. No kiss, no nothing. A simple hug and left.

Half-way down the steps I realize I forgot to grab her number. I didn't go back for it.

Things would get worse however.

Later that day I contacted her on facebook:

"So depressing coming home to my own bed, yours so much better"

She took a few hours to respond, but answered with "Haha, my bed that much better?"

"Yeah. And the company of course. I think we should see each other again".

- "Yeah. We can probably do that".

Didn't really enjoy the response, so simply answered with "Tough crowd "

She then asked me if I enjoyed the party. I sent her a picture of a bottle of wine with friends.

Here's when shit went from bad to worse.

I sent her a text later that night after some drinks. Asked her if she's going out.

"Think im staying home today."

"Okey Do you want some company later?"

She didn't answer that night, nor did she see it until Sunday afternoon around 3pm. Never replied. Now in hindsight, we slept like 1 hour friday-saturday, and im thinking she's sleeping. But still, she never replied. I felt pushy.

I waited until monday and sent her another message. She had this thing for boats where she loved going to the marina and hanging with random people on boats and chill.

"You, me, bowling 7pm on Wednesday? If you win ill satisfy your boat-fetisch by finding us a random boat to hang on until sundown".

She took 6-7 hours to reply and answered with;

"Haha, boat-fetisch? That would be fun but I have a leaving party with work on Wednesday".

Now ... in my mind I didn't wanna reply. Best bet, she would offer to reschedule. She didn't. So for me, this was simply a way of letting me go easy. So I decided to send her another text.

"Do you wanna reschedule? Hit me up with a time and day and I'll check my schedule at work".

Since then she hasn't replied, this was a day or so ago. Now I realize she most likely wanted to let me go easy and not be straight forward. First I didn't wanna offer the reschedule, if she was interested she would have done that. But then again I thought, why not, you got nothing to loose.

Now im sitting here realizing I kinda fucked this up in general by "being needy". I should have made my move when I left her apartment on Saturday. Simply tell her straight upp when about to leave; I enjoyed my time, I wanna get to know you better, give me your number and ill call you. Thats the move I should have made. Or better yet, fuck her again and then tell her.

My hope now is that she'll reply in 2-3 days. But I don't think she will. And if not, I believe my best bet is to just do a total ignore and maybe hopefully she'll write in the future.

Thoughts on this?
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Default 02-07-2020, 11:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeybiz View Post
Hey guys, need some advice.

Some background info;
I am 31, work as MD. My life's in check. I met this girl one night who herself is 29, independent, beautiful, sweet apartmentand a great job. I was hooked. Im done partying and sleeping around. Its been fun, but I want more.

Last Friday I was out with a friend. Met this awesome chick who I ended up going home with to her place. Fast forward, its morning, im hungover and have plans for the day.

We end up laying in bed a while before I tell her I need to go. I grab my stuff, tell her I had a good time and wish we could see each other again and then leave. No kiss, no nothing. A simple hug and left.

Half-way down the steps I realize I forgot to grab her number. I didn't go back for it.

Things would get worse however.

Later that day I contacted her on facebook:

"So depressing coming home to my own bed, yours so much better"

She took a few hours to respond, but answered with "Haha, my bed that much better?"

"Yeah. And the company of course. I think we should see each other again".

- "Yeah. We can probably do that".

Didn't really enjoy the response, so simply answered with "Tough crowd "

She then asked me if I enjoyed the party. I sent her a picture of a bottle of wine with friends.

Here's when shit went from bad to worse.

I sent her a text later that night after some drinks. Asked her if she's going out.

"Think im staying home today."

"Okey Do you want some company later?"

She didn't answer that night, nor did she see it until Sunday afternoon around 3pm. Never replied. Now in hindsight, we slept like 1 hour friday-saturday, and im thinking she's sleeping. But still, she never replied. I felt pushy.

I waited until monday and sent her another message. She had this thing for boats where she loved going to the marina and hanging with random people on boats and chill.

"You, me, bowling 7pm on Wednesday? If you win ill satisfy your boat-fetisch by finding us a random boat to hang on until sundown".

She took 6-7 hours to reply and answered with;

"Haha, boat-fetisch? That would be fun but I have a leaving party with work on Wednesday".

Now ... in my mind I didn't wanna reply. Best bet, she would offer to reschedule. She didn't. So for me, this was simply a way of letting me go easy. So I decided to send her another text.

"Do you wanna reschedule? Hit me up with a time and day and I'll check my schedule at work".

Since then she hasn't replied, this was a day or so ago. Now I realize she most likely wanted to let me go easy and not be straight forward. First I didn't wanna offer the reschedule, if she was interested she would have done that. But then again I thought, why not, you got nothing to loose.

Now im sitting here realizing I kinda fucked this up in general by "being needy". I should have made my move when I left her apartment on Saturday. Simply tell her straight upp when about to leave; I enjoyed my time, I wanna get to know you better, give me your number and ill call you. Thats the move I should have made. Or better yet, fuck her again and then tell her.

My hope now is that she'll reply in 2-3 days. But I don't think she will. And if not, I believe my best bet is to just do a total ignore and maybe hopefully she'll write in the future.

Thoughts on this?
Ah mate, that's a well written story I feel most men have gone through a similar situation before. You seem to know where you went wrong already, although I'd add that it's generally best to pull the trigger on setting a date when the conversation is flowing, and to also ask 'what's you're schedule like for ____'. Deffo agree leaving it for a bit then banging once more before going for that would have been a good idea, i'm assuming you were both at least tipsy so she might not remember how much she like'd you at the time, or how good the sex was...

When she said "we can probably do that", next time you can make it into a joke, 'like how I can probably beat you in an arm wrestle, and you can probably beat me in a ____ contest'.

"Tough crowd" kills it!

So leave it a while and only re-engage with value texts and rebuild! Update if there is an update, goodluck
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Default 06-07-2020, 07:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by VibeSpreader View Post
Ah mate, that's a well written story I feel most men have gone through a similar situation before. You seem to know where you went wrong already, although I'd add that it's generally best to pull the trigger on setting a date when the conversation is flowing, and to also ask 'what's you're schedule like for ____'. Deffo agree leaving it for a bit then banging once more before going for that would have been a good idea, i'm assuming you were both at least tipsy so she might not remember how much she like'd you at the time, or how good the sex was...

When she said "we can probably do that", next time you can make it into a joke, 'like how I can probably beat you in an arm wrestle, and you can probably beat me in a ____ contest'.

"Tough crowd" kills it!

So leave it a while and only re-engage with value texts and rebuild! Update if there is an update, goodluck
Sorry for the late reply, I have an update.

She eventually replied after a few days. I replied two days after with the plain truth, "I loved hanging out with you, I had a great time. I would like to get to know you better, and if not, Im glad we met".

She eventually replied that she has been super busy at work and that we should meet. We did some small chatting for a few days and eventually met up again Thursday last week. I took her to a place were we played some shuffle and focused on rebuilding attraction due to the time elapsed. First time we met, I basically went to her place within the hour, and left early. So there was definitely not enough comfort built up before sex. She had buyers remorse. She even told me she wasn't sure on meeting me again. But she did, and I did some basic attraction and comfort building, and I ended up taking her to play some shuffle, some good wine, and we ended up at a piano bar on Thursday before going to her place.

I definitely know where I screwed up. Sex too early while wanting "more". Buyers remorse. Not enough comfort. So after Thursday she eventually invited me out with 4 of her girlfriends on Saturday. I "ignored" her the whole night and focused on winning her friends over. Stayed at her place on Saturday night and spent the whole Sunday with her. So things are going good.

Once I realized the problem after the first night, things got way easier. However, I was super lucky she decided to meet me again even though she had buyers remorse.

Ended well, and hopefully even better.
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