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-   -   Top-Hat's Journal (https://www.puaforums.co.uk/field-reports/18317-top-hats-journal.html)

top-hat 20-11-2013 09:57 AM

Date: 18th November 2013
After taking a break, on sunday we were raring to go. After hearing your guys' advice. I attempted to change it up. I had good conversation with 3 or 4 people. And went for my first number close since getting back into this. The swede whom I was chatting with replied I'm not sure how my boyfriend would feel about that. This was the start of the boyfriends...
Went up to a load more and I stopped them just kept getting told they had a boyfriend.

Date: 19th November 2013
This day was my worst day out. Went out to Westfields, and nothing was stopping. Except a Hungarian and a couple of Polish girls whom I had good conversation with. I kept getting into my head and getting frustrated, at one point I had an argument with my wing about my excuses.

Points to take and ways to improve:
I can feel it coming, the results I'm looking for.
Move on from the bad day.
Treat it like a job interview, put 100% even after every failure.
Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.
Work on observational statements.
Calm down and slow down.

Today I've got a third date from the from a couple of weeks ago. Maybe she can calm me down.

BroadswordWSJ 20-11-2013 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by top-hat (Post 85489)
Date: 18th November 2013
After taking a break, on sunday we were raring to go. After hearing your guys' advice. I attempted to change it up. I had good conversation with 3 or 4 people. And went for my first number close since getting back into this. The swede whom I was chatting with replied I'm not sure how my boyfriend would feel about that. This was the start of the boyfriends...
Went up to a load more and I stopped them just kept getting told they had a boyfriend.

Date: 19th November 2013
This day was my worst day out. Went out to Westfields, and nothing was stopping. Except a Hungarian and a couple of Polish girls whom I had good conversation with. I kept getting into my head and getting frustrated, at one point I had an argument with my wing about my excuses.

Points to take and ways to improve:
I can feel it coming, the results I'm looking for.
Move on from the bad day.
Treat it like a job interview, put 100% even after every failure.
Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.
Work on observational statements.
Calm down and slow down.

Today I've got a third date from the from a couple of weeks ago. Maybe she can calm me down.

If they tell you they have a boyfriend, don't fret just say something like "That's ok, I don't mind if you have a boyfriend" or "It's ok, bring him with you" or "That's cool, personally I've never had a boyfriend" - just try pushing it a bit to see whether they actually do have a boyfriend.

The only thing I notice from your posts is that (maybe your writing style) but this reminds me of looking at somebody running a project, a tad robotic. Such as the highlighted point - this isn't a job interview, its social interactions in real life.

Same with all the approaching, I agree with Stein & Barney's comments. Everyone's different but I wouldn't purely approach 10 different people just for the sake of it. I think there's a difference talking to people you want & don't want to; your heart won't fully be into it & it will show in your interaction with the people your not bothered about. I'd swap 1 awesome 15 minute interaction for 10 pretty much nothing one's any day.

nova 20-11-2013 12:39 PM

Just keep approaching. No need to analyse in too much depth how long an interaction needs to be at this stage.

top-hat 24-11-2013 01:54 PM

Date: 24th November 2013
Bit hungover right now, but i'll give this a go.

I didnt do a write up but I had sex with internet bird during the week. After no sex after 2 months, I'm definitely out of practice. I spend a couple of hours rereading Danny Rose's Sex God Method, which I used in my relationship and was quite useful.

Finally I leave getting to her place is time consuming an hour and ten minutes to get somewhere just below Hammersmith. After sleeping with her for the first time last week, she invited me to her friends birthday party which started off at hers and a taxi down to Mccrawleys in Kingston.

As soon as I arrived shes a bit weird, too distant. Didnt bother to introduce me to her friends, and didnt really have a conversation with her, only her friends. Which is fine for me I do need some practice chatting and leading conversation with girls. Throughout I sent a couple of texts to a friend telling him this party's a bore.

Once we finally got out, we stood around waiting for her friends in front of the club after ten minutes we proceeded into the club. The club is buzzing, plenty of pretty birds. Which I would approach if it were any other night. The night consisted of standard dancing with the birds, figuring out where this night was going. At one point I went outside and saw her talking to some lads, for some reason this pissed me off. Probably because I come down from central into unknown territories and this bird wont even bother with me. I felt like "that guy", not really a part of the group and her friends were stuck with babysitting me. At this point I tell her friend I'm going home (which is a fucking mission, 2 night buses), she asks me why a few times, I dont reply. I couldnt really say, because this bird has been weird with me the whole night. I'm not dealing with girl's drama.
After 5 minutes trying to convince me to stay, I listen to them, but proceed to having a drunken gander, looking at all the pretty birds on show. Which her friends clearly see, I lose them a few times. I steal a drink at the bar, just walk off and not pay.
Finally at like 3 in the morning we leave and take a taxi back to theirs, I ended up going to her bed and falling asleep, I wasnt really down for chatting. Her friend awoke me from my slumber after ten minutes and asks me to go downstairs and see internet bird, I then say nothing and make out with her, and then take her upstairs where her friend was in her bed, we made her leave and I fuck her, she is pretty animalistic, this time. The sex was good but once again she doesnt cum which always annoys the shit out of me. We then hold each other and she tells me about her insecurities and how she thought I was going to get to her friend. I give her my 2 cents and agree with her when she asks if she should go to counselling.

This is the dilemma, I quite like this girl but know with these insecurities and family issues and possibly daddy issues it'd be a drain on me to continue. I find it extremely difficult to do a runner, as she's literally opened up to me, she's a great girl and the sex is good.

top-hat 27-11-2013 03:55 PM

Right I need to rant, I've been out both yesterday and today, on the both days sets are going ok so I can see I'm improving. Extremely slowly but still improving. I get a couple of rejections which is fine. After an hour I get annoyed with myself and consequently very demotivated.
This game is just so annoying and I can't seem to get something that works. If I'm improving one aspect everything else suffers.
I've been attempting to text this internet bird and even that's going shitty.
Everything is just so frustrating, I went out yesterday to a concert with some friends, had an awesome time and on the journey home I was extremely depressed.

Shahanshah 27-11-2013 04:34 PM

What is it making you depressed? What do you mean by 'focusing on one thing'?

I believe a great goal to have is "Im going to approach girls tonight", "Im going to have conversations/flirt with girls", "Im going to escalate/isolate girls", or "Im going on the pull tonight" because they are like 'compound exercises' versus "Im practicing opening/eye contact/touch/negs/complimenting" etc etc which would be 'isolation exercises' to be all nerdy about it.

So go into detail about whats making you depressed and what you mean by working on aspects and what suffers. Sure its nothing that can't be dealt with easily enough :)

nova 27-11-2013 05:06 PM

Sounds like you're doing well. You're getting out there and approaching, you're seeing signs of improvement, oh and you're banging some chick from the internet... bonus.

I know those feelings of frustration though. Keep getting out there, be relentless. The more you do it, the more you'll realise there's no point in putting so much emphasis on a bad day, or even an individual approach.

Serendipity 27-11-2013 08:52 PM

Yeah, you're doing fine. We all have good and bad days. Just keep chipping away. It takes time.

top-hat 28-11-2013 02:53 PM

After an annoying past couple of days, I met up with Stein for a drink last night. He gave me some reassurance and calmed me the fuck down. This game can get quite annoying at times.

Date: 28th November 2013
Went out to Oxford Street with Tebbs, and I was calm. Got straight to business but kept it calm no crazy running up to set after set. A few sets in, after asking a girl how she got her tan(which was clearly fake), I chatted to a lovely little French girl and made a bit of banter had a nice conversation, and BOOOM got the number. The biggest smile on my face emerged when coming out. It might flake, it might not. A consistent theme is clearly appearing, I'm certainly getting better. After this set we continued and didnt get a single good set afterwards but I guess thats the curse of the 1 hour mark for me, hopefully that improves with practice.

SmileyK 28-11-2013 10:03 PM

The results will come man. Main thing is that you are taking action. Be happy that you are taking action! You are doing what 90% of people can't be bothered to do, which is putting your ass on the line.

Liked reading the Kingston episode, although the bird sounds a bit unhinged


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