Just by reading you posts in this thread it makes me wonder, are you ejecting because, as you said, you can't think of anything to say or are you ejecting because you don't have the full confidence in yourself yourself when talking to the girls?

Your intent of day gaming is good. Here's where you differ from me though, I go out and my day game isn't regimented, by that I mean hit a 10 target, rapid approaches etc... instead I'm more open kind of a no target apparach which suits my off the cuff style very well. I sure understand your approach and why you do it, I've never winged or anything like that, I go out totally solo so in a way that has really helped me to solidify myself in holding my own.


With your ejections I think its simply you going into your head and end up making it harder for yourself. Its practice that will help you overcome that, for sure.

I think that counting approaches isn't a particularly good idea in general. It makes you focus far too much on the very start of the interaction, rather than the general meat of it. I used to do it and I actually see it as part of the reason I left conversations early. I was approaching with the intention of approaching rather than talking, so after I approached I on some unconscious level considered the job done. That meant that when it actually got into having to keep a conversation going and I wasn't comfortable with it I'd just fuck off and go do another approach to tick off on the tally.

If you want to set a goal to get you doing something a better way in my opinion is to give yourself a period of time (say 15 mins to start) where the goal is to always be chatting to someone. That way you keep the chat going as long as possible, and if you actually can't keep it going you've got to find someone else to chat up ASAP. Aim for covering this time period with as few separate conversations as possible though.

Just an idea, give that a go and see how it works. Then when you're more comfortable going up to people and keeping a chat going abandon it.

I don't completely understand your method to get past this, but I presume you mean do constant approaches one after the other and make up 15 minutes, doesn't matter who it is just approach to get over this hurdle.

You are right it's all in my head and practising will get me more confident in myself. I don't have a regime when going out, all I have is hit my targets for example talk to x girls for y minutes each.

To me, if you do them targets everytime you go out, its a regime.


I think you shouldn't concern yourself about quantity and focus more on the quality of conversation.
Seems you're ejecting because you think the job is done once you've approached and got a +1 on the tally as Stein said in his first paragraph. It all relates to the point, you're going into your head.

It changes as I figured making small targets would help me progress?

Good that their stopping for you. Are you going in your head to think what to say to her next? If that's what's happening (it happens to me a lot) that'll probably be what's stopping you being able to continue to flow in convo.

You'll be expected to take the heavy lifting of the convo at the start to give her mind time to catch up with what's actually happening. Just keep talking. If she's responsive then she'll start contributing to the convo and it'll get easier.

Sort of but not really. The point is to be talking to someone constantly, not approaching constantly. If some conversation ends then yes, jump right into something else, but that's not where the focus is. The aim is to keep a conversation going so you don't have to dawdle around looking for someone else to chat to. Ideally you would be able to spent the 15 minutes just talking to one person. It's just about the simple shift from focusing on 'do approaches' to 'have long conversations'. After all the real goal is to spend time with girls.

I agree with what Stein and Barney are saying but don't be too worried. As your confidence raises with the approaches and you relax more you'll become more aware you are the one controlling the interaction. If you can't think of anything to say you can say to her "Your so cute and now I can't think of anything to say haha". If she laughs too, bingo. The absolute worst thing you can do is think to yourself "shit I'm running out of things to say". If you think it your fucked basically. So don't think just speak.

At first maybe it is. Personally I never did that approach.

But I think that, just the same with everyone, when you hit limitations you should make changes in order to help you push through and progress. I don't think the target approach is the way to go, you should spend more time in the conversation instead of thinking about making the next approach.

Try going out without being focused on hitting targets and just spend time in the conversation, see if you make any improvements.

Here's an example of what we're on about.

I went in a shop the other day to buy some cigarette papers. The guy at the desk looked totally bored and there were no other customers so I started a conversation with him. We talked for about 15 minutes about all random stuff and I think it cheered him up a lot. I enjoyed it too.

To progress I need to be able to do this with a hot girl. But you can practice this almost anywhere, anytime as well as approaching attractive girls. It sounds like doing this would help you along.