Yep 100% correct. The cinema was a dreadful idea, and I won't be going there again on a Day 2. That's the second time I've done that now with identical results. Horrible place!

The better date was taking the HB6 to the Tate. That was top quality, because we had plenty to talk about there. Much better.

Either way, as much of a bad idea as the cinema was, I'm not going to use it as an excuse. I had plenty of opportunities to take action.

Co, sounds like you were trying too hard mate.

Instead of forcing states upon yourself, try and become them through relaxing and accepting yourself, that’s better confidence than pushing yourself under pressure.

Also, don’t think you have to give up on this one. If you want to see her again because you like her and not just because shes a HB9.5 you can. Just because it didn’t go well you can still turn it around, just be cool.

Also, Co, you cant hold a girls beauty against her. Beauty is common/skin deep remember, personal qualities are valuable, understand this and your perception of value will change with this girl.

Agree with Sapmi here. The cinema is not going to allow you to escalate as you can't talk or even move... except for the cheesy 'putting your arm round her'. Plus you end up sat there thinking the whole time, rather than being able to act.

Pub/bar/cafe my venue of choice. No need to complicate things.

I wasn't holding it against her necessarily, but I do see your point. I think my sticking point is my reaction to a beautiful girl.

I ruminated on this earlier. It occurred to me that, through life, I've always been taught, one way or another, that beautiful girls aren't there for me. In school, my group of friends (we were one of the more nerdy groups) included the unattractive girls. All the pretty girls hung around with the more scally lads.

Even for the first three years of Uni, I was friends with nerdy people, and the girls in our group were similarly nerdy and / or unattractive. The fit student girls tended to hang around with the rugby lads and AU jocks.

I have forever been taught that, for one reason or another, I am not worthy of attractive girls. They are up with one class of person, and I am down with another. I have never chosen to believe this. Its just how I've been wired. Its just how my internal programming has been written. I'm not saying it can't be changed - because anything can be changed. But working out how is going to be difficult.

It all means that today, when a genuinely hot girl talks to me, I immediately feel unworthy of her attention. I assume she is on some higher plane than I - and this means I don't feel it is appropriate for me to attempt to seduce her.

Perhaps then it isn't that I value the girl too high. Perhaps its to do with valuing myself too low?

How do I address this? Speak to more stunning girls and get used to the idea that they might like me as well? That's probably the only way really. The more I date attractive girls, the more I open them and have good, solid interactions with them, the more my value will naturally drag itself up.

RE: The cinema and a date - as I said earlier, I'm never doing that again! Its fine once you're through the whole pick up thing. But during - its not a good place to be. I have to say I loved the gallery. It was an opportunity, as K says, to screen her a little and see how imaginitive and creative she was. But also to check she wasn't up her own arse and had a sense of humour.

Actually me and the HB6 had a bloody brilliant time. Its a shame the physical attraction is only weak, because we really had a nice day together.

Co, you need to change your wiring thats right.

But you also need to see the person in front of you. When you see her you are seeing all the previous girls who didnt give you the time of day for social/groupy bullshit reasons and you resent this.

Becareful of validating your ego, wanting to prove something to yourself, you'll only burn out and get confused.

People are different, value the things about you that make you different, and when you go on a date, enjoy it for the experience of being with the other person, laughing together, discussing random or important things and explore the good side of each other. Not to prove you can piss with the big boys.

Life isnt a game, and so PU shouldn't be.

100% true that mate. And I actually did really enjoy speaking to her the other night - the conversation was outstandingly good. Possibly because in my mind I had let go of 'the right thing to say'. I just said what I felt I wanted to say. And you know what? It was so, so easy!

I was just focussing on being myself. I told her what I am passionate about - researching and writing - and she seemed to appreciate that. And if she didn't appreciate that, then I like to think I'd have cut the date short and got home intime for the BBC3 double bill of Family Guy. But she didn't, she accepted it as a part of who I am. And that's great.

We talked endlessly for the time we were together, conversation never ground to a halt. In fact on both of my dates last weekend, I found myself having to literally work my way back through conversations to get back to the original point I had been making. It was good fun talking to her, and I am delighted that I was able to talk to such an attractive woman without really worrying what she thought of me. That is tremendous progress.

My frustration the other night was my inability to escelate towards a kiss close. My own actions were changed by how beautiful I thought she was, as compared with how I approached the situation with the HB6 the day before (by the way I'm still texting the HB6 as well - she's actually got a wicked sense of humour).

Looking back at my post above from yesterday, I actually think that isn't stuff that I can handle consciously. As time goes on, and as I go on more dates and meet more women I actually am attracted too, that will handle itself. All I can do is be persistent.

Opened a few sets on my lunch hour. Went well. I'm still using mainly canned openers, but there are a few points where I am making progress. The first was a direct opener - simply stopping a girl and telling her I thought she was gorgeous. The second point of progress was that I am beginning to natrually progress on from an opener now towards more general good conversation. I opened a 2 set sat on some benches with a standard opener. But then quickly progressed onto normal conversation.

Further, I sort of feel as if its coming much more natrually now. My tail is up with speaking to girls. Things are fitting into place, little piece by little piece.

Very positive.

Just got in from town. Was out with Hustler, plus two lads he'd met on another PUA forum.

Opened a couple of sets, but my head wasn't quite right tonight. I dunno, I just didn't bounce as well as I usually do. I guess that happens from time to time. One of the lads we were with has been doing this stuff for 5 years now, and was giving all sorts of advice which was very helpful.

Got one k and number close. A girl in a really cool bar called Chameleon. They were a seated 2 set, she an HB7. I opened - custard again - and got to talking. The conversation was really easy to run with, I'm pleased with how it went. As last week, once I began to pile on the kino, it was really easy and escalated very quickly. I can't stress this enough guys: kino kino kino kino KINO!

At one point this happened:

HB: I love that t-shirt, red looks good on you.

CO: This is orange.

HB: No way! That's a cool tshirt! Your girlfriend must have bought it for you.

CO: Yeah she did.

HB: Did your girlfriend dress you tonight?

CO: No I dressed myself.

HB: But did she choose your clothes?

CO: No I wouldn't let her.

Why was I telling her I had a girlfriend?? I have no explanation for this. When she asked the first question, I just spat it out as if I had a bird. Maybe this was subconscious push / pull. But I can think of no conscious reason that I told her I had a girlfriend.

After a minute, I said:

CO: Ok, so I've got a confession to make.

HB: Oh yeah?

CO: Yeah... I've been lying all along. I don't have a girlfriend.

Followed by a few minutes of playful banter about 'oh you're just saying that', and me then changing my mind saying 'Ok I do have one' and then 'Ok, fine, I don't' etc.

It didn't have any bearing on the outcome. I got her number and a kiss, and she has since voluntarily texted me and rang me trying to find out where I am. Cool. But I do wonder why I said what I did.

Anyway plenty of positives from tonight. One thing I do want to start doing is fucking approaching sets and targeting genuinely hot women. Too many times tonight, I opened sub-HB7s. Its great and stuff, but I am capable of attracting girls I am also attracted too. I'm out again tomorrow night - hopefully will be able to kick on and open a few more attractive girls.

But on the whole, progress is being made!

From reading your other threads it sounds like your making good progress, and are very capable of opening above-HB7s. Sometimes it just takes that extra bit of imagination and discomfort to do so.

A