Date: September 1st 2013

‘’Challenge Accepted’’ – Dynamic87

If you had told me a year ago that I would be sitting down writing my very own blog on becoming a PUA I would have laughed in your face. But here I am this Sunday evening ready to begin the journey on not just becoming a PUA but to improve my life as whole…

The Story So Far...

Let me take you back to last April, back then I was a shop assistant at a supermarket on a basic wage, I lived at home with my parents in which I shared a room with my younger brother. I had a girlfriend and we had been together just under five years, it was a long distance relationship but we saw each other every weekend and sometimes during the week as well. I also had plenty of friends in the village so socialising wasn’t a problem. I was pretty content with life, I was comfortable with the way things were going. I had an income, a roof over my head, a girl I was in love with and we spoke about getting engaged (I planned on popping the question in July last year) and then in one fell swoop everything had come crushing down on me.

It started off with a few changes in the supermarket and my job became more hassle than it was worth. I used to enjoy my job but management started becoming stricter and impossible targets were being set and the job become very stressful. During this time a close friend of mine then moved out to Afghan for around nine months, and he was the guy I used to spill everything to. A few weeks down the line I found out from someone that my girlfriend had been having an affair with someone, and this broke my heart. I loved this girl to the moon and back and worshipped the ground she walked on, and her doing that damn near killed me.

So here I was in a stressful job, trying to cope with the heartbreak of being lied and cheated on. Could it get any worse? Well it turns out it could. I came home one night to find my mum and sister crying in my kitchen and my brother with his head in his hands. I asked them what had happened and it turns out my Dad had cheated on my Mum. So another situation to add to the ever-growing list. I didn’t really know how to cope with everything and began drinking heavily every day just to ignore what was going on. I became violent and looked for any opportunity, not to start necessarily have a fight but more to just to take a beating as I felt worthless. This routine continued throughout the summer and one day I decided enough was enough.

I remember sat there at the bottom of my bed on a Wednesday afternoon looking at the bedroom floor crying my heart out. I needed to change, I needed to fix myself and get back on track. So I began job hunting, I slowed down on my drinking and got myself a clear head. I began to make slow changes and now here I am…

Who Am I?

My name is Dynamic87, I’m 25 years old and I live in a village in the United Kingdom. I’m an Insurance Consultant who shares a two bedroom flat with a friend. I’m like any normal guy. I enjoy sports, films, music, the usual stuff.

As you can see my life has changed a little since last year, new job, new home However, I’ve never fully recovered from my break up. Don’t get me wrong I am over my ex girlfriend but my opinion on women has somewhat changed. Its quite funny because my opinion on women is that they can’t be trusted, they’re liars and quite frankly, they’re fucked up in the head. And I’ve seen enough in the past year (not including my experiences) to justify my opinion. Yet for someone reason I still want to go out and meet them? However, my confidence with women is at 0%. I melt when a women talks to me, and I have no idea how to approach the female species. It’s not just women I have problems talking to. I am hard of hearing which doesn’t help my confidence either. My hearing isn’t as bad as what it was growing up as through the years I have been able to assess situations and lip reading has become a trait of mine. So when I’m in groups of people I tend to shy away and not get involved. Sometimes I just think people are looking at me and think who’s that weirdo just lurking around the scene. It’s been this way for many months now, and then one day I remembered my best friend telling me about a book that he read years ago called ‘The Game’ so a few weeks I decided to go into a book store and purchase it. Once I started reading it I couldn’t put it down. I was intrigued from the start.

The Journey Begins

Many peoples goal is to be able to pick up women at the drop of a hat, and whilst that is something I would love to be able to do, that’s not the only reason I have decided to enter the world of Pick Up. I have joined this community to not only be able to attract women, but to become a better person and improve all aspects of my life. So this is where my journey begins right now with this blog, which by the way if you have read from the start, I thank you.

So my first act is to write the three key things I want to achieve in life:
1) To be able to attract and indulge in conversation with women
2) To gain confidence in myself and be able to expand my social value
3) To rebuild a strong relationship with my Dad

Below is the list of goals and changes that I want to be able achieve along my journey to becoming a PUA

Health, Fitness & Personal Hygiene:
- To run/light jog two or three times a week with a circuit of push ups/ pull ups and weights in between days.
- Making sure I get my 2litres of water every day to keep my body hydrated.
- Cut down on junk food and takeaways as well as cutting down on my portion sizes.
- Extend my knowledge of healthy recipes and aim to cook at least one new healthy meal a week.
- Cut down on drinking Cider and substitute for low calorie alcohol such as Rum and Whiskey.
- Do a daily/nightly routine of brushing my teeth, rinse with mouthwash, cleaning my face with water, cleaning my face with baby wipe and moisturise.

Social & Lifestyle
- Create more time for family members.
- Get to know everyone I meet in social circles.
- Amend old relationships and reconnect with distant friends
- Read the local listings each week to find out what’s going on in the surrounding areas and experience new things.

Career
- To find a job in which I am happy with and feel comfortable settling in to.
- To become more confident on the telephone and create a better flow of conversation.
- To re-ignite my passion for script writing and finally begin work on a movie idea I’ve had for the past year.

Pick Up
- To overcome my fear of approaching women and being able to hold an interesting conversation with them.
- Being able to set up dates with interesting and attractive women.
- To become a confident person.
- To up my social value and become someone who people want to get to know.

Twitter – Dynamic87Pua

I’m not sure if this has been done yet, but I created a Twitter account (get following) which I will be using as a tool when out in field as well as using to discuss certain topics to help in the game. I will also use it to express certain feelings and discussing certain topics with other PUA’s and AFC’s.

Summary

As far as I am concerned my journey to becoming a PUA as well as better person starts this very second and I will be blogging my progression, questions etc and hope you will join me along the way for support, to critique or just for something to read. And who knows maybe I could expire someone to get up and make a change? Some of you will probably laugh at me, some of you may respect what I am trying to do for myself, as long as I progress then this blog will help keep me on track and I can look back at my progression as well.
This blog will appear on more than one website as I want to branch out to PUA’s across the world (so don’t be alarmed) and I hope along the way I make many friends and create relationships with other PUAs as well as AFC’s and we can continue this journey of Pick Up together. Feel free to post in my blog or for anyone who has any anonymous questions then email me at [email protected]. I want to hear your experiences and would appreciate your feedback etc. So until my next blog report, thanks for taking the time to read this…

-Dynamic87-

-Edit- I understand that some of this blog was posted a while ago, but due to certain circumstances I wasn’t able to proceed at that time. However, this is where my journey will start, if a mod/admin could delete the other one I would appreciate it. Thank you for your co-operation.

Date: September 2nd 2013

Selling Insurance

I’m on the early shifts at work this week, which works out well for my first week into the journey I am embarking on. Basically in my job we do different shift patterns, so one week I do early shifts which is 8:30 – 3 and the following week we do late shifts which is 3 – 9. Along with that there’s normally one day a weekend I get off, so I only really get five days off in a month, which isn’t ideal. Believe it or not, before I took this job as an Insurance Consultant I had a phobia of talking over the telephone to strangers. If a number popped up on my mobile that I didn’t know I would never answer it, I’d just let it go to voicemail. There were times when my friends would call me up and I still wouldn’t answer the phone. I think that’s the whole reason I decided to go into selling Insurance as our company is all phoned based, I would have no choice but to talk to strangers. I took the job back in November last year, now six months down the line I can be taking up to 30 phone calls a day and selling anywhere up to eight insurance policies a day. I have become a lot more confident on the telephone, but there are still times when you get the odd person on the other end that can be intimidating, and sometimes I crack under the pressure. I laugh looking back because they’re just voices, its not face to face confrontation, but why do I still shy away and crack when someone is rude or arrogant over the telephone to me? I feel I’ve made a great step continuing with this job and its amazing what you can achieve if you push through the barriers, and this an experience which I hope will help me get over my fear of approaching women.

Couch to 5k and Sunday League Football

I don’t know if you guys are aware of this programme developed by the NHS but it is a programme designed to help absolute beginners get into running. Apparently there has been a huge success rate with this programme so it is what I have decided to use in order to regain my fitness and lose some weight. Here is the link below for anyone who is interested.
Get running with Couch to 5K - Live Well - NHS Choices

As well as starting the programme above I have signed up to a local football team in the village not only to help with my fitness but also to help boost my confidence as well as expand my social circle. I love the game, and it is my biggest passion. I used to watch my own team up and down the country every Saturday and travelled to many places such as Manchester, Liverpool, Newcastle and even the dumps like Hull, Doncaster and Birmingham. But since my break up I left that behind for a while (my ex and I support the same team and we used to go every game together as it is where we met). So instead of watching I have decided to play instead. I used to play when I was younger so to get back into Sunday league football is a plus for me.

The Game, Styles 30 Day Challenge, Mystery Method, etc.

Although my journey officially starts today my introduction to the PUA world happened a couple of months ago. I know there are books upon books in which everyone has their own opinions on who is the best PUA and which methods they hate etc. The first book I read (which is probably the same for a majority of PUAs) was Neil Strauss’ ‘The Game’. I read the book and after I finished it I knew it was something I wanted to get involved with. I knew from that moment I needed to start learning all I can to help me, so I read through the book again but this time I started taking notes and taking in as much information that I could. A few days after I did some more researching online and came across Neil Strauss’ ‘Annihilation Method’ which I sat down and watch a couple of times over and wrote down as much as information from that as well. The information I have been given from Neil Strauss I feel is enough for me start at a basic level. I’m not saying he is the best PUA out there, but I have learnt enough from him to give me the basic knowledge in order to perhaps attract a female and continue a conversation with her. I have been meaning to get involved in Erik Von Markovik’s Mystery Method. I have watched VH1’s ‘Pick Up Artist’ online and jotted down a few notes from the series to add to my notes. So apart from Style and Mystery, what other books/videos could you guys recommend for me?

Social Value and Expanding My Social Circle

These days the strongest social circle is through social media (Facebook/Twitter etc) so last night I took the time to go through my profiles and delete any negative posts, got rid of any bad photos of myself and added a list of people that I know in my area to expand my social circle and will attempt to build friendships through these people. Don’t worry they aren’t just random people I’m adding they are people that I know either through family or friends and occasionally say hello to in the street, I thought if I were to add them then it can be a start to perhaps building up a strong relationship with these people. I intend on using social media as one outlet to DHV and to improve my social value.
Although I am looking to build new friendships/relationships with people, I am also looking to rebuild and reconnect old friendships. I have many friends who I hold dear to my heart that I rarely see anymore and these are the people I want to reconnect with as well as a few people who I want to build bridges with once more. Life is too short and I hate the thought of looking back in twenty years time and wondering why I never took the time or spoke to these people for no reason at all or sheer laziness.

Evaluating Myself

Once I had completed the book again and took all I could from it, I decided to buy ‘The Rules Of The Game’ by Neil Strauss. In my opinion this book isn’t as good as ‘The Game’ but still valuable to what I needed to learn. I was in two minds whether to take on the ’30 Day Challenge’ but I have decided it would be better for me if I just took the bits from the book that I feel would benefit me. Day One of the challenge is to Evaluate Yourself:

1) Write one or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you:
I believe people see me as the guy who turns up at the scene but doesn’t bring any social value to the group. I believe they see me as someone who is trying to be someone he isn’t when the reality I’m just trying to be the person I want to be.

2) Write one of two sentences describing how you would like to be perceived by others:
I would like to people to believe I have a strong social value and that there is more to me than what meets the eye. I would like people to feel that just because I’m trying to be someone different isn’t me putting on an act, but more trying to be comfortable with myself as well as in social gatherings.

3) List three of your behaviours or characteristics you would like to change:
1) Drinking in order to have the courage to talk to females. 2) Wasting time away by doing absolutely nothing. 3) Trying to make people laugh for acceptance.

4) List three new behaviours or characteristics you would like to adopt:
1) To express my thoughts and opinions in group conversations without worrying what other people may think. 2) Become a more and assertive person and gain a positive and can do attitude. 3) To become more comfortable in social gatherings.

Approach Anxiety

I have a built a folder, which over the last few weeks has been filling up with routines/openers, pretty much everything I need, but all this knowledge will go to waste if it is not put into action. How do you know what works for you if it is not tested right? So my first mission is to overcome my approach anxiety. I know this is the first step most AFC’s make, but for me it is a pretty big step to overcome. There have been many females I have seen over the months that I would love to just say hello to me, but I just over think every situation and I know that it’s something I have to stop. Deep down I know that once I make that first approach, I will become more confident as each approach passes, but its making that first initial approach which is the problem. Perhaps you guys wouldn’t mind sharing your first approach experience with me, or sharing how you over come your AA?

Summary

Knowing that I am trying to turn my life around is making me happier as a person and as time goes on I hope it turns me into a confident person too. I know there are many adventures and experiences to be had, but sitting and imagining isn’t going to make them happening. Getting myself out there and pushing myself through the barriers that are there and getting out of my comfort zone is what will help me experience new things and overcome my fears.

- Dynamic87 -

Awesome report man! congratulations on your progress so far! what football team do you support?

GoodRebel

Yeah, good man you've done a lot of work here to set out a plan and goals for yourself. Most self-improvement books I've read start off by making you do this, so it's a good start.

The only thing I would say is you seem to be putting quite a lot of pressure on yourself. If you try to do all this at once you can burn out and end up frustrated. The books I've read usually ask you to prioritise which areas you want to tackle first, so you can put time and energy into them while keeping the other areas ticking over until you get around to them.

On your questions..

For recommended reading here's a few great books IMO that you can get as eBooks:

1) Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: your route out of perfectionism, self sabotage and everyday habits by Avy Joseph

2) How to Succeed with Women by Ron Louis and David Copeland

3) The Confidence Gap: from fear to freedom by Dr Russ Harris

My first approach ...it wasn't that long ago - drunk on a train - sat down opposite a cute girl - asked what book she was reading - it was some kind of murder tale (can't remember what) - I took that as a hook and started talking about murder books I had read, then got inside my head and clammed up. She got up and got off at the next stop (don't know whether it was her stop or not). I don't think she was too impressed!

Still, first one out of the way and all that

Hello mate, thanks for reading it. I am a QPR fan, you a football fan? If so who do you support?


Thank you very much for your reply Serendipity. I will take all you had said on board, and do a bit of research on those books. Also thanks for sharing your first approach experience with me, appreciate that!

I've sat down and assessed everything and realised that I am actually trying to do too much at once and its not good for me, so I'm going to gradually work my way through different phases. I feel it would be a much easier way to learn and experience what works and what doesnt rather than chucking myself in the deep end

Date: 09th September 2013

So it’s Monday morning and I’ve not long woken up. I’m on the late shifts at work this week so that means its pretty much sleep-work-sleep-work for the next five days, but I have the weekend off so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t mind doing late shifts, but I don’t get to socialise during the week and my body clock just becomes a mess. I get in late and can never sleep until early hours in the morning, and as a result of that I struggle to get up early the next day. However, I want to try and break that trend and use the mornings I have wisely.

Dutch Courage

I had recently completed seven days in row at work from Sunday – Saturday and hadn’t really done any socialising, so Saturday night I just had to go out and catch up friends and let my hair down. So I went to a couple of pubs in the local area to see some friends and have a few beers, then my brother text me and said he was heading into town. I looked at my phone and thought why not? So after a few more beers I got the bus into town and met up with my brother and his mates and went into the club. It was quite busy and loads of attractive women around. By this time I had done half a bottle of ameretto (pre-drinking at home) and around five pints and a few jagerbombs, so I was on my way.
A couple of hours passed in the club and the beers were flowing nicely, and I had caught up with a few familiar faces in the club. I looked around just 2 sets everyone and I assessed everything in my head. In my head I was thinking ‘’I’d say this to them, and this to them two, oh oh and that to them two’’ But I wasn’t, I was just sat there beer in hand, thinking but not actually doing. My brother on the other hand has too much confidence and was talking to any girl with a pulse in the club. His approach was pretty much going up to a group of girls and shouting ‘’Alright girls’’ I laughed the first time I saw him do it, and thought what the hell? But he was engaged in conversation with them for like ten minutes after. This was his approach all night and they were happy to talk to them, but that’s all he knew, Just shouting ‘’Alright girls’’ and talk mumbo jumbo for a while.
So there I was sat there opener after opener in my head. At this moment in time I had never used an opener in my life, but now was a good a time as ever to test some out. I knew the alcohol I had consumed was coming into effect and dutch courage was coming into play. I stood up and turned to this two set next to me (both hb6) and said…

Me: I need to get a quick opinion and I’ll tell you why in a second. Do drunk I love you’s count?

HB6: Oh god no, I had an ex that sent me a text saying he loved me when he was on a night out…

The opener had worked. Here she was sat there giving me her opinion! However, she also gave me her life story. I was stood there whilst she literally told me her life story. She didn’t even come up to breathe! I was just like bloody hell love. A couple of moments passed and I just had to make tracks, so I did went old school and pulled my mobile phone out and made an excuse to leave.

Openers

Now I had seen what an opener has the power to do, it gave me a little big of a confidence boost. My first approach had been successful in the sense it engaged me into a set, however it wasn’t exactly a set I could get involved into a conversation with. I have watch many videos on the internet on how to use openers etc, but now I have used my first opener I truly understand them.
So heading into a different part of the club and seeing what the ‘Drunk I Love You Opener’ did, it was time to do my next approach. In the distance I saw another two set, this time the women were more attractive. Once again I slowly walked past the set, turned ever so slightly and said…

Me: Quick question, is kissing cheating?

HB8: Of course!

Me: (turning to her friend) What do you think?

HB7: I think it is.

I’m sure you all know the opener so I won’t go into to much detail, but they were very interested in the story itself and what I was saying to them and there body language opened up to invite me into the conversation. My only goal at this moment in time was to open the set and get there opinions. So I continued the routine until asking the ultimate question of the opener…

Me: So we’re trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong in this situation.

HB8: Is your friend a wimp or something? If he’s not happy he should just say he’s not happy. If she can’t accept that then he shouldn’t waste his time with her.

HB7: Is your friend not into that sort of thing then? Most guys I know would love it.

Me: It’s a tricky situation but I just thought I would just get a females opinion to see if they were different to his girlfriends. Anyways, I can’t stop, my friends can’t behave and god only knows what they are up to. Enjoy your evening.

It worked! I got them to engage in conversation and they happily expressed there views and opinions with me, and seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying.
Yesterday morning I sat down and looked back at the events that took place that night and I don’t know how you guys see it, but in my opinion I feel it was a success that I finally opened a couple of sets so I knew what openers could do with my own eyes, however it was under dutch courage. So my goal for this week is to open sets this weekend without being under the influence of alcohol, but to also lock myself into the set.

My Approach To Learning

As I had mentioned before I have created a folder with line after line, routine after routine. Its all there in black and white, and as I trail through the internet any routines or lines worth doing I jot down in the folder. But its becoming thin out there. At first I wanted to try everything and everything from start to finish but the reality is I am better off doing it one piece at a time rather than trying to doing everything all at once. So my first initial goal is to over my AA and figure out which five openers work the best for me as well as figuring out the best way that locks me into the set. Once I am comfortable with that I can then move onto the next phase.

- Dynamic87 -

Surely this made you realise canned openers aren't necessary?

I understand using them when your first starting out to give confidence but you shouldn't be dependant on them. Mix in some openers that aren't canned, off the cuff stuff. Maybe do a few canned openers to get your confidence high and then some more natural openers.

Here's a good thread on openers - openers

I'm yet to really overcome my AA so until I am fully comfortable I'll use the canned openers for now. Obviously seeing my brother just go up to a two set and shout ''Alright girls'' at them made me realise if you have confidence then you can get a girls attention.
I will definently take your advice on board though mate, the more I do the more confident I will become and I understand that. Its a work in progress. By the way that thread was a great help, cheers.

Date: 11th September 2013

So my plan on using my mornings wisely hasn’t been successful so far. I’ve pretty much woken up, had breakfast and caught up on TV. On the positive side it’s nearly the weekend so I get to socialise with the world again.

Too Much Too Soon

Reading through my blog I noticed that I had actually got way to excited to start this entire process that I never actually took the time to figure out the best way to proceed. I have all these things I want to do and change that trying to do everything all at once as ultimately result in me doing nothing. Ok I’ve tried a few openers when a bit tanked up in a club one night, but apart from that I haven’t done anything else to help me complete my mission and goals and get to where I want to be. So what should I do? Do I start all over again and devise a plan to help me? Do I wing it? What do you guys reckon I should do? I know what I want to accomplish but there are so many changes to be made that doing them all at once is giving me a headache.

Style’s 30 Day Challenge

So it’s been a while since I picked up this book but I’ve decided that it’s time to dive back into it. I’ve had a few messages from a few people on various sites telling me to do the daily missions from scratch. I will start from now, but like I said before I will only use the challenges I feel are necessary to my game. I’ve already evaluated myself so that’s day one already completed.
I’ve just read day two and I love the quote from J.C. Penney, used at the beginning of the chapter. “Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I’ll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I’ll give you a stock clerk.” Today’s challenge is write a list of three accomplishments that you would like to achieve, but as you can see in my first entry I have wrote my list. I have read over them again just to remind myself why I am doing this. I will however complete the ‘Look Into Their Eyes’ mission today. So the mission is to go out and make contact with five or more strangers. I will write my results up in my next blog.

More Important Things Today.

It’s only a short entry into the blog today, but today is all about one thing and that’s remember those who lost their lives in the tragedy that took place twelve years ago in 9/11. No matter where we are in our lives, we should be thankful for what we have.

R.I.P to those who fell in 9/11

- Dynamic87 -

Watch Four Lions for an insight.