Maybe she does have a bf after all....

I spoke to her at breakfast this morning & she said she's looking to book a holiday but they are arguing because she wants to go to Dubai but he's there a lot for work and wants to go elsewhere. I feel a whole lot better now :)

It doesn't really matter. What's so wrong with asking a girl out that you like. It's only the most natural thing in the world. If she says no so what. There's plenty of other girls to ask. I'm writing this but realising I should practice more what I preach. It's a long time since I asked anyone out. Well done you.

You took action, Broadsworth. Keep doing it.

You got anxious because you are not used to asking women out. The more you do it, the more natural and confident you will become at it. Keep posting about instances like this.

^ what Maestro said!

Well done you big pimp

You interacted very well dude. You showed confidence, kept positive, unaffected, good attitude but the main one; you took action.

At the end of the conversation I would have said something like "how about Monday. 7?" Or similar. Bring the conversation round full circle.


Well done. Keep taking action.

Got a text froma girl yesterday I've known for years, i made out with her a few times a couple of years ago but don't really see her now. She's on holiday abroad and we were just yapping away. If you want to put a number on her she is a "10" or whatever.

I've always thought she was a bit of a wannabe/atention seeker....she comes across as someone who looks down on others and see's herself as above people; very much into status and all that. You'd be fogiven for thinking she stepped right out of Made in Chelsea. Through the texts she totally started bigging herself up to me and was looking for attention/validation seeking. I just acted laid back and didn't really rise to it although did acknowledge some of the stuff she was saying & ignored others.

After a short period I told her I was off to watch TV, was good to hear form her, to take care & I'd speak to her later. She then took offence to me saying "take care" suggesting this was another way of saying "hi - bye" and that i don't like her.....(WTF? I just meant take care of yourself.....). I told her I do like her or i wouldn't be responding, she then started suggesting we meet up when we get back and I just said yeah, cool, whatever, give me a shout.

The messed up thing is she's in an LTR, i was careful the way I worded my responses. WTF is she texting me for, especially when she's on holiday with him. Looking back I never noticed till now that this follows a pattern - she texts me every few monmths with stuff like this. I reckon she kinda likes me/half attention seeking for validation.

Later that day 2 other girls I knmow text me, 1 justto say hi, another asking if I was going to a night out at month end. I never instigated any of these.

Got me thinking about 5 other girls I've known before & my texts with them....they've probablly all liked me on one level or another & I've just had blinkers on and not noticed.

I just sat at home all day and got texts form 3 different girls out of the blue..very, very weird Saturday.

I'm no expert but it seems if women are contacting you then they must be interested. You can take it from there.

Hmm. One of them I've pretty much not spoken to for the best part of 8 years - she lives in a different city now and is engaged, total random text. The other as i said is in an LTR. The other one......not sure about her, don't know her very well. She was the one I mentioned in a previous FR acted all jumpy round me, spilt her drink, burnt me with her fag etc.

Friday 28th February

Yes, this post is massive, but I really don't care. Probably the best interaction I've had to date.

Had a leaving night for a friend. Upon arrival at the bar, I made sure I greeted every female I knew with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, or a brief arm round their waist where possible. Not one of them recoiled & all seemed pleased to see me. I practised "kino-ing" with them (yes, i know its meant to be natural and not forced but if you don't ever do it its going to be weird to start with) & again no negative reaction.

Its difficult to remember everything as it was like 5 nights ago, but basically i said to myself "I'm going to have to approach women"....and so thats what I did:

1. Went up to one girl and said "Don't I know you from somewhere?" (total lie), spoke some fluff briefly before her and her mate left.
2. Spoke to some girl who bumped into me on the stairs and I said "Check you deliberatly bumping into me"...bit of banter and laughing back and fourth with her mate chiming in & I eventuallky said "You need to tone it down and make it less obvious you like me", more joking around
3. Told some girl i really liked her jacket and that she looked hot in it...she looked a bit confused and didnt respond so i asked her name, she gave me it....the convo was pretty awkward, she eventually just walked off
4. Went up to some other girl and said "Hey, hows it going"....only to then realise she was completely smashed.

But thus here is the main point of this post.

There was a group of 3 absolute hotties in the area next to us and I couldn't stop looking at them, if you want to objectify there were all at minimum an "8". I was too scared to talk to them because they were so hot and (partial limiting belief) way out of my league. Had a combination of fear to approach them and frustration that i wasnt talking to them, the frustration got to me more so I just stood up and walked over to them. They were in mid convo so I kinda hovered till one had finished talking, then all 3 of them looked at me, and completely shitting my pants I blurted out "Don't I know you from somewhere?" to the one with the biggest boobs. "Don't think so?" she replied, and her and all her friends smiled. I basically just started making up shite as I went along, nervous and rambling (then realised i was rambling, so slowed it down, lifted my head up and spoke slower)....and they didn't seem to notice or mind i was nervous, and they didn't walk away.

I realised pretty quickly that big boobs & her small friend were both married, so I turned to there friend who had been quipping in with cheeky comments. She told me her name was "Jasmine" and that she was a high class Escort. I told her I was an MI5 agent. She told me before that she was an intergalactic moon farmer, I told her I used to be a haybail engineer. She was a physcic, i was an ice cube yield analyst. Basically the stupidest randomest conversation you could ever have. Ended up pulling a chair next to her and at random times she started touching me...for the first time EVER I saw "IOIs" in real life; her eyes were huge, ruffling her hair, playing with the ends of her hair, constant smiling and laughing, brushing her tongue over her teeth and sticking it in her cheek at times etc etc. I played with a bracelet she had on her wrist and worked my way up to fondling her hand, kept near enough great eye contact with her....plenty of flirting, sexual innuendo's and just generally a great time. I've always said on here I lack sexual edge & masculinity; I was doing it right now and it felt so normal.

i hadn't noticed her left hand because of the angle she was sitting at holding her drink.....but when she brushed her hair back with it....she had a massive engagement ring on :mad: So I asked her how long she'd been engaged, and how I was totally devestated because I thought we were going to get married and I'd probably need counselling. Despite being taken i was enjoying the convo so much i stayed with her, we started showing each other facebook pics etc. Her friends came over to take her away to the bar a couple of times and she told them she was fine here, even gave them money to buy me and her drinks. At some point we got talking about why i was single, and I over the top sarcastically told her I'd never had a girl friend and was still a virgin....she burst out laughing, smacked me in the arm and told me to shut up. I persisted i was serious (in a jokey way) & that I'm afwul with women and she just kept laughing. "Yeah yeah, I'm sure you say this to all of them....give it 5 minutes after I'm gone and you'll forget me and be trying it with someone else, your so full of shit!"

I'd probably been talking to her for about 45 minutes when it was time for her and her friends to go, so i gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and told her it was shit she was engaged as we were totally meant for each other, but it was nice to meet her. She replied and said "Yeah......I think your pretty cool, maybe if I wasn't engaged...but I am. Besides, your a 32 year old virgin who's never had a girlfriend, how could you ever satisfy me?" I just smiled, then she said "Seriously, one piece of advice....don't say shit like that. I know your just kidding.....but it felt like you were taking the piss out of me, no way your a virgin!" So I said "ok...cool". Her friends came back over, was a bit of banter from them and some faked jealously about how I ditched them for their friend when I realised they were married ("So because we're married we're beneath you huh?") and off they went.

I went back over to my friends who I'd noticed had been looking over a lot the whole hour or so I was gone and they all sat preying with bated breath "Please fucking tell me you got her number?" I told them she was engaged which was instantly met with a chorus of boo's and disbelief, they all felt I was totally in there.

This killed a belief I had my friends would poke fun at me or whatever for speaking to women like that - they were all actually rooting for me. It's also amazing that this girl genuinly couldn't tell I had no success with women or I'd never had sex despite me telling her so (although I did make it into a joke).

I felt absolutely fucking awesome. Yes this girl was engaged, but she was totally naturally hot, big eyes, volumous brown hair, flirty.....and I sat with her for 45 minutes like it was totally normal. Her mates were head turners as well. And yes this post is massive and you lot will fall asleep reading it but I really don't give 2 shits - what a night.

PS - When I woke up the next day, all 3 of them had added me on fb, and they must have had to search for me as we barely have any friends in common. Pretty cool.

Saturday 1st March

I was out for a friends DJ event, but unfortunatly I couldn't replicate my success with "Jasmine" the previous night. In a nut shell:

1. Said hows it going to one girl and that I liked the way she'd styled her hair..we spoke briefly for a bit but the convo was forced and TBH she wasn't really into it.
2. Saw a girl sitting on her own so sat next to her and said hi....she told me her friend was sitting there so i told her I'd keep it warm for her, about 30 seconds later her friend came back and was obvious they wanted me to leave. In hindsight i probably shouldn't have sat down.
3. Told one girl I really liked her dress and she pointed to some guy and said "Yep, my boyfriend probably agrees with you...do you want to tell him as well"? I said fair enough and left.
4. Said to one girl "Don't I know you from somewhere?" and she just straight out responded "No - fuck off"

By this point in time i was feeling pretty anxious & a bit down in the dumps. I spoke to one more girl but I had no confidence at all and ended up just bailing. Not that its an excuse but we were in a totally rammed bar/club where you couldn't even raise your arms on the dance floor there was that many folk. It was also really loud.

In fairness I never felt overly nervous the previous night, or this night until girl 3 - just had these jitters and short circuits from time to time (like when you can't think properly or someone jumps out on you and gives you a scare). Maybe I was just really fortunate those married girls the night before were totally welcoming and up for a laugh, maybe what happened this night is more the reality of what actually happens, who knows. I still take loads of confidence from the previous night though.

Good report dude.

There's good nights and there's bad nights and it seems pretty random. I expect as the skills become more developed there's maybe a bit more consistency.

It's a numbers game. The thing is you never know if the next girl you approach is going to be into you, like the engaged girl you had the long interaction with. If it happened once that means it can happen again. And the next one might be available.

You should use that as your motivation to get out more often (even solo) and keep doing approaches. If you do that the rejections gradually have less and less affect on your mood, treat it as your exposure therapy.

Yeah thats true. I'm hapier to keep trying this as and when the opportunity arises. I'd never go out all alone for the pure intention of aproaching women. I think its a tad creepy, its weird, not the norm and it would come across as fake or part of a routine. I just don't think I'd be believing in what I'm doing. Each to their own though.

Honestly though Jasmine was fucking hot, I can't believe that even happpened. I might be a virgin but I'd have quite happily tried my best to smash her back dooors in.

Cool on the progress. You're 32, don't tell girls you're a virgin. Ever. Just do what you think is right when the moment comes. Don't come across as a lothario but don't tell them that shit. They won't fuck you if you do.

I have a few things to say but first, do you go out with other people who are into this shit (pulling girls not pua) and what are they like?

You've had your free year pass of messing around on the forum, gotta up your game man. I never post serious shit anymore, so take this post as me being sincere and not trying to get forum boner points or being your cheerleader.

Yeah haha, I totally know not to say that! It was done in a totally jokey way like I wasn't being serious and being over the top emphasiszing I was joking.

My social groups nights out on the town pretty much died about 2-3 years ago. We're all in our early-mid 30's; if you include me in a group of 15 male friends, I'm the only single one. They've all on average been in LTR's/married for 5 years + if not longer & 9 of them have kids. When you get to this age and your at that stage in your life, adult stuff, kids & work take priority. Nobody really has any interest in hitting the town anymore, more important things to spend money on. Admittedly I can't stand night clubs myself. This is by no means an excuse - just trying to explain how it is as I'd estimate your a student in your early twenties and its maybe something you wouldn't totally understand given your still in your prime of nights out getting pissed just for the pure fun of it.

So the way it really goes for now, if I'm out shopping which is maybe once a fortnight, or out on the town which is probably maybe once every 6-8 weeks I try and take these chances as they come. Certainly looking at my calender my next planned night on the town isn't until mid April.

You have to go out regularly with wings. Go find some wings now, on any forum, mass message. Make it happen. Going out regularly (3-4 nights a week) WITH wings is mandatory. Its the one true path to learning this, no one else did it any differently. You're the same as everyone else.

Okay do you drink?

Do you like bars as opposed to clubs?

What do you want out of all this? E.g. a girlfriend asap, a bit of a dating/sex life then a girlfriend, to be a player for a few solid years, to be a pua.

How much are you willing to put into this and how much do you want it?

Wings > everything else in pua/dating industry. Word up.
Going out regularly > This forum, videos, material*

* I said 3-4 nights because you have catching up to do. Not making fun or AMOG'ing or lecturing you, but the reality is that you missed out on a lot of fucking/dating/harrassing women.

Dude you need to hit this shit HARD. You only have a few things that can happen on a night out; you approach, you socialise, you pull. There isn't anything else. Anything else is subjective, a style, marketing, mental masturbation or semantics. In fact you could consider approaching just a form of pulling (escalating).

For approaching and socialising I'd say go out 7 nights a week because those are things that you can do whilst only out for an hour or two whilst on work days whilst gaining lots of experience and confidence. After you've got that down you should save nights out for pulling. Nights where you are putting your all into it rather than "I will go out and do x,y,z but be home at 1:46am". Nights where you get pumped up to out, you put on your good aftershave, do your hair, nice shirt, shoes. You know 'On the pull' haha.

So you can get the first phase (socialising and approaching) handled quite quickly if you go out a fuck tonne. Even during this phase you can still pull and by all means go for it BUT generally if you have anxieties and difficulty just approaching and making conversation pulling is an unrealistic goal.

I'd like to add that going out solo, while being seriously fucking tough starting off, is great for getting good fast. Provided you're crazy and determined enough to do it. But then again you have to be pretty crazy and determined to do this properly anyway. When you go out solo you've got no safety net to run back to, so you learn quickly that you've got to spend your time socialising.

When I was getting good I'd do a solo night at least once a week just to push myself. I'd highly recommend that along with going out with other people.

I think how valuable a wing is is really dependent on who the wing is and what he's like. I've been out with some really great wings who've been a massive help, but I've also been out with some total weirdos who do nothing but stand around and bitch. If I was going out to really put in work I'd take solo any day over work mates or some mouth breather from the LSS. Worked pretty well for me anyway.

I can see that being good once you know your shit but starting off would you think its a good idea?

I started off with solo day / night baby steps. I still do it if I find myself on my own somewhere. It is tough. But it's good to feel you have that option.

There's less peer pressure. That could be seen as a disadvantage on the one hand, as nobody will encourage / push you. On the plus side though you feel less like you're being judged if you fuck up. In my case I preferred solo to start with.

The hardest part is avoiding going in your head and becoming stifled. It forces you to get out of yourself and be social as there's no alternative.

If you can have a good night on your own, make some friends, chat girls, it does a lot for your confidence.

What I've found is you notice other guys who are doing the same thing. I've met a few guys in this way who became like my wing for that night. The 95% of people who are out in their social groups just don't see all this going on.

I would add though that if you're starting off, depending on your level of social / approach anxiety you need to watch you don't start getting a lot of negative experiences by over-reaching and looking for outcomes, validation, etc.

You want to build on positives gradually. Initially I was not trying to hit on girls or pull, I was just approaching, saying hi, maybe giving them a compliment then bailing. It's gradual exposure to build your confidence. This is especially important starting off on your own because there's no one to pick you up if you get a bad reaction.

I think this isn't far off the mark at all, it fits with my experience so far: http://www.goodlookingloser.com/appr...xiety-program/

Yeah, totally. The main reason why is that it helps you avoid on eof the biggest problems that new guys have, which is taking half measures. The real reason 99% of people who get interested in this stuff never improve is because they're half arsed about it. A lot of the time pretty new guys all go out with each other, and as a result end up setting the same pace as each other, which is like this:

- do a half arsed approach when it looks easy
- runs back to your pickup buddies to talk shop
- repeat half an hour later

Going out solo doesn't give you the option to go half arsed like that. Instead of falling into other people's lackluster pace you set your own, which is almost always faster and more proactive. It also works especially well starting off because you're more sensitive to the social pressure of standing/wandering round on your own. Nowadays when I'm on my own in a club the worst feeling I might get is occasional boredom, but when you start out you feel like a fucking FREAK when you're on your own in a bar/club. It'll be really hard the first few times you do it, but you learn pretty fast just to keep going round and socialising, and that kind of attitude then carries over to every time you go out regardless of who you're with. Which is what you want really.

That's true. When I went out solo abroad the other week I realised after each interaction ended I had no group to go back to. So I just went straight into another approach. It was definitely a higher pace than I've done when out with my mates.

The bar I ended up in had three floors. I just moved around opening as I went.

I had been in there a few weeks before but left after 10 minutes because I felt too self-conscious and started micro-managing myself. A guy bumped me as he went past and I thought he did it deliberately. But he was probably just drunk.

I was determined to go back and give it another go felt better for doing that.

If you can tough it out through the initial discomfort it does get easier.

I've done a google search and looked round plenty of other British PUA forums, there doesn't seem to be any kind of PUA scene in Aberdeen at all. Whilst I get going out regularly is needed for this, Fri & Sat would be my only managable nights - 3/4 days a week just isn't possible given I'm up before 6am every morning.

Yeah I do drink socially although I'm not a huge fan of getting wankered, I can quite easily enjoy myself in bars or even casinos as opposed to clubs although as I said before nights out generally come around every 6-8 weeks. I don't really know how to answer "how much am I willing to put into this"? The answer is I'm not hell bent on it as the most important thing in my life but is obviously something I'd like to improve on, it probably would sit at around 3 in a list of things in my life that are important to me.

What would i want out of this? Some casual dating and sex would be nice with an eventual goal of a long term girlfriend, but given what you've just said & my response I'm realistic enough to see there's a chance that will never happpen. If logic dictates I have to be out, out, out talking to women all the time, that's something i don't have time for, it would more be an as and when thing.

If devoting all my time and effort to this really is whats required, the way my life is that isn't possible so maybe things won't change, who knows. All i know is that in general when i am out or do try something, I feel a lot better and have more fun with it certainly a lot more than I did as far back as 12 months ago.

If you have no time to go out, Join OkCupid, sort out some photos and profile. Then do as i do, send a message to 100 people each morning, just some generic shit. Then hide their account from your search. You'll get to the end of the list relatively quickly. Once you've reached the end, every sunday morning send the same generic message till you reach the end. To whoever replies tell em you'll take em for a drink then just ask for a number.
Hopefully it works for you, I've managed to get two dates lined up this week.

I have limited time to go out 'on the pull' as well. I think we just have to be more proactive in general. Like you asked out the girl at your last workplace. Things like that should be a more regular occurence. We know relying on chance probably won't work.

I guess we could all do at least half an our each night. That's completely doable and realistic. But like anything, that requires discipline and effort, it's setting aside that time in your life.

If you live in a city you can manage three nights a week. One night, as I mentioned, to socialise for a few hours and be home by 12am or 1am. Or at least friday and saturday. Might sound harsh but you're 32 and a virgin, how can this not be important enough to put some time aside a few times a week.

Top Hat's idea is a good one too. Still though, PUAs are everywhere because in every population, area and demographic there will be a roughly similar percentage of Autism and social deficient people (Lol). So you can find wings if you put in the effort. Messaging people etc. Searching "Aberdeen" in the Search bar of all the places.

Or making and finding new friends who might be up for chatting up girls rather than 'pick-up'.

If it really isn't that important to you, being a 32 year old virgin, then why are you on here, why did you start this thread? It doesn't have to be THE most important thing you focus on where you pay attention to nothing else but you gotta put some work in. You got to get laid. If it really isn't a big deal then I'll stop posting advice, advice of the reality of your situation.

The mates I went out with in the town I was living in (small town) were not really into chatting women. I was totally convinced I was alone in this venture. But with going out twice a week (Fri/Sat) for a while I got to know two guys who were out to chat women and try to pull the same as me. One was a bit younger and the other was a bit older. This changed my outlook a lot for the better.

I realised the limitations I'd imposed on my reality were largely self-created and self serving because they gave me an excuse not to make an effort. But the map is not the territory. You have to create a new map for yourself by pushing out of the comfort zone and seeing what happens.

The thing is if you stay in your comfort zone and your social circle / routine, for what it is, things won't change. It goes back to that saying... if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.

Things were starting to improve for me slowly but I'm sacrificing a lot to move to a city to increase my options.

What your saying about Aberdeen, I think that's a limiting belief you've got in your head. It's one of the richest cities because of the oil. I'm sure there are loads of social options there that you haven't explored yet because you've convinced yourself they don't exist.

I don't live in the city, about 8 miles outside it in the country. Fri & Sat are really my only nights; the rest of the week isn't feasible given I'm generally in bed by 10 for a 7am start at work.

Yeah, I have thought about giving online dating or Tinder a go again, but my first shot on POF really didn't go well at all, I messaged 34 women and received 0 replies but a lot of that could be down to my profile or pic. I'm not going to go all Stonecastle on here as I know its worked for guys on here...but I think a lot of onlne dating IS looks based; I'm admittedly average-below average looking at best and as the ratio of men is usually higher than women on these things, they have plenty of other options instead of me. A female friend who is admittedly smoking hot had 275+ guys message her on POF......she only replied to 4 of them and from that 4 she went on a date with 2 of them. A girl i worked with had about 80 guys message her within 2 months...stuff like that doesn't really fill me with confidence, but I'd be willing to give it another go.

Well yes, there is this. How exactly would I do this? I'm already in a relatively large social circle where pretty much everyone is taken or has no interest in picking up women or going out to chase tail.

I never said it wasn't important to me Shah, I get exactly what your saying: I need to get out & meet women. But you ned to flip it round. Your young in your twenties; I'm 32 with a social group that is well on their way into adulthood and being grown up; there is a difference. Everyone is already with a significant other for a period of average 5 years. Also, when you get to 32 and probably before this age - people really stop caring about going out for nights on the town. They are too busy saving their money to pay for their morgage and life related stuff - going out on the town starts losing its appeal once you hit your late twenties.

I appreciate the advice, I never said it wasn't a big deal - but if I'm honest right now I'd put career & housing ahead of women on my list of important things. As is stands, short of meeting a group of single guys who like to go out, my experiences with this will be on an "as and when" it occurs basis.

Yes, that's your priority. Make it happen and forget all the other waffle you wrote.

I would disagree, going out just to meet women should never be a priority. Improving self yes. Develop social life yes. But putting shagging above a house or a sound career sounds like a bonehead move

That said only chatting up girls 2 nights per week is a pretty lame effort - you has that woman begging for you the other night, there's no reason you can't do that at work, to friends of friends, other course participants, people in the supermarket queue.

If it needs handling, perhaps it needs some serious focus, rather than tinkering around the edges.

Make it a priority if it's a part of your life you want handling. Move to the city if you need to do. Talk to girls on the way home from work (something I have started doing each day). Take the course of action that gives you the best chance of getting what you want. But, it depends how badly you want to change things.

I agree with Nova. If you want to get laid, take our advice and stop making excuses. If you're not asked, cool move on, noones going to hate you for it.

I'll hate him for it. So, he must take wholesale action, from this day forth.

Completely agree with this. If you make a point of talking to just one girl on the way to work, at lunch, and on the way back you're going to be making progress while not even going out of you're way.

Saturday 5th April

Mostly a night of failure in terms of interactions mixed with a bit of drama I could have done without, although I did realise something at the end of the night that had never even occured to me before.

Was in a bar with friends which went a bit like this:

1. Went over to talk to a group of girls smoking outside only to realise once I got closer that they were really young and not very attractive, so I bailed after a couple of mins fluff talk.

2. Was behind a couple of girls at the bank, they were getting in a tizz because they couldn't work the machine properly and they were too scared to look at their bank balance, so I teased them for both these things. One got a phone call which they both became pretty excited about and they turned their attention to that so I just left.

3. Told a girl at the bar I thought her dress suited her, we got talking briefly with some eye contact and smiles. Was dificult not to lean in as music was loud, but as we were talking I lightly touched her arm/shoulder/collerbone etc pretty naturally. I leaned in and put my arm round her waist to ask her name...and she just flipped out. She pushed my arm off and told me "Your small, your ugly, I don't like your shirt and I don't like you so fuck off!" and turned her back on me......

4. I got speaking to another girl at the bar and there was some banter as we're both kinda short, but her friends kept grabbing her attention for drinks, and with the bar being crowded once I'd been served there wasn't much room so i ended up leaving.

5. Some girl outside grabbed me, gave me a huge kiss on the cheek and took a selfie of us on her phone, slapped my arse then walked off, got her heel stuck in a slab and fell - she was wasted. I pissed myself laughing as did my msates, was pretty funny.

As we left the bar, we passed the girl who told me to fuck off on the stairs, I'd pointed her out earlier to my friends. A female friend who was a bit boozy went right up to her face and told her she looked like a fucking hippy and started shouting at her asking her who the fuck she thinks she is talking to guys like that. It got pretty heated, guys and girls getting involved and we all left.....

Unfortunatly, fuck off girl and her friends also ended up at the same club as we did later, and my female friend again had a go at her for being a bitch to me earlier. End result: we all got chucked out, and just went home.

When the girl at the bar freaked out on me I was pretty shocked as she just turned on me out of nowhere, I thought we were getting on fine. I felt total shock, and felt my face feeling flushed/red. The first thought I had was "Fuck - folk are going to think I'm a perv or someting". The bar staff did look kinda shocked - but they were shocked at her. Afew people behind us were the same. As I turned my head in embarrassment, the guy next to me looked at me, raised his eye brows, put his finger to his head in a circular motion and mouthed "C-R-A-Z-Y".....nobody was thinking anything of me at all - it was all the focus on her.

After that, there were a few girls i saw i would have maybe spoken to, but I just chickened out - i put this down to the anxiety of what happened with fuck off girl. But heres the weird thing - all the interactions I had above were when I was on my own - at the bar/smoking etc, not with my friends. After fuck off girl i was next to my friends most of the night and the thoughts going through my head were "My friends will laugh at me if this goes wrong/they will wonder WTF I'm doing etc" - for wehatever reason being with my friends held me back.

I thought about this a lot today, and I don't actually think rejection doesn't bother me that much. After fuck off girl, I felt a bit anxious/embarrassed/wound up for maybe 10 mins but then I just forgot about it, i actually managed to laugh at it telling my friends. Its the whole spotlight effect thing Dan has talked about in his posts - its more the reactions of others I'm scared of. And yet, i can't recall ever having had a negative reaction from others. In fact in my last post my friends cheered me chatting up that engaged giel and were gutted for me when nothing came of it.

Quite interesting, I'd never thought of that. I bet my friends wouldn't really care or mock me - its just some weird excuse on my head. Anbd besides, a "real man" wopuldn't really give a shit about what others around him thinks, he would just do it anyways.

I have a secret fantasy of going up to a really bitchy girl, and punch her in the face. A big KO. Some guys need to get beaten up to stop being cocky shits. Some girls should get the same for being bitchy. Bitchy is female cockiness really.

Once you know there's nothing to lose then AA is just a feeling not an excuse anymore. AA never goes perminantly. Get out nore.

Most girls would just have removed your hand or moved away. You were unlucky that she reacted so badly. It was the 0.001% chance. Now it's happened it probably never will again. She could have had issues. You'll never know.

But the only thing to do is to get straight back on the horse.

I agree with Shah. Bitchiness needs to be dealt with. Drop kick her.

I'd probably just keep standing at the bar, point at the door and say to her "you need to leave".

Maybe she was testing you, to see if you could handle it.

Nah, doubt it, she just turned physcho and turned her back on me. If it was a shit test, thats one kinda girl I can do without.