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Can you expand on that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shahanshah (Post 91260)

In my experience I used to always do texts that were straight away 'hey wanna go for a drink' etc no fucking about, and I found that to never lead anywhere. I find best is to get chatting, a laugh and a flirt then ask for the drink as a natural progression from there. It's what seemed to help me anyway. And your first text, personally, was weak, you have to give them a reason to respond. Even if the reason is simply asking a question.

What Shah said. Don't leave it a whole day or more, that's just leaving her time to forget who the hell she met. Strike while the iron's hot.

The whole question thing seems to be a hot potato in pua world, with some advising never to ask questions (bit of a dumb rule). I just find whatever comes to mind, related from the meeting is the way forward, no need to overthink or over-edit your messages. Go with the flow and express yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Serendipity (Post 91267)

I've wondered about this. I used to ask them out on the first text. That hasn't worked (except after I'd been on an instant date with her). Then I started doing a one-line text saying hi, nice meeting you at [place].

If you say hi nice meeting you you'd expect someone who remembered you to reply with 'hi nice meeting you too'. If you try too hard and say 'remember me, I was that guy?' I think it sounds too needy. Asking a question is less needy but it has a needy ring to it.

If they don't respond to the intial text(s) then there's nothing to lose and you can be provocative in the later one. That's what Mark did and I think it's a good approach to take. And it's worked in this case to get her responding. Well done Mark.

Next step..keep texts same length or shorter than hers and all geared towards getting her out. Don't get drawn into conversations and Q&A about your background and all that shit. That's for the date.

Keep the sexual vibe going but always always narrowing it down to the time and place you will meet her. And that should be asap.

I think the one thing that would benefit you enormously is to stop overthinking things.....the above is just ridiculous and there's so many shades of PUA advice and tricks contained in that.

It's just a text message......would you put this much effort and thought into the process of getting up and getting ready for work in the morning? If you did you'd still be at home thinking about it at 5pm!

Overall I think one good thing for you to focus on is to stop overthinking everything...stop looking at "I must do X if she says Y, and I better not do A or she might think B" - just let loose & do whatever. This should be an emotional process not a logical process driven one which I can sympathise with as its a habit I struggle with. If this is how your mind works & this is how deep down you drill into thinking about a text no wonder you struggle. I really do wonder how badly reading PUA material has affected you; you need to get that stuff straight out of your head.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BroadswordWSJ (Post 91283)

just let loose & do whatever.

Ace advice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by amit1207 (Post 91282)

I will love to say something here. Serendipity you haven't had any success with women, you haven't fucked or kissed a girl since you joined this forum. But at the same time you are giving advice to others on what to do. Kowalski and Shahanshah are just being brutally honest to you.

What you need to do is just listen to invaluable advice you are getting from here. It's free, it's honest and that is all you need. I can empathize with you at some level. I used to be an idiot who believe wholeheartedly on this PUA bull shit. Like many others this forum changed my life, especially when I drop the ego and start taking good advice from people here.

This ended Serendipity, the passive aggressive little fucker.

I love how whichever thread I go to, everyone is helping Serendipity. It's like a plague.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kowalski (Post 91293)

It's a forum wide intervention. A last gasp attempt to get through before we all lose interest in him as a lost cause and wonder who we can sensibly contact to warn about this highly probable future killer / rapist.

Peace,

kowalski

Nah rapists can escalate

Quote:

Originally Posted by kowalski (Post 91293)

I can see the tabloid headlines already.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Daily Mail (Post 91293)

When eye fucking takes a deadly turn!

The Community Starts Here...

Quote:

Originally Posted by kowalski (Post 91300)

Generally we come not being ourselves and try to get to (or back to) ourselves. That is maybe the central shared common value that binds us, making us meet the definition of a community. You already aren't yourself and you want to become something else. Until that changes you won't be a part of this community.

Kowalski, dropping wisdom on us all.