~Mark's Slow Journey
 

I've decided to post my progression or lack of progression on here (SmikeyK style)

Here's an email I sent to a friend. It's quite frank and honest.

Butlins was an interesting experience. There were probably 100's of people on stag do's and hen do's dressed as everything you could imagine.
Most of them seem to be from Wales and probably more 'working class' type people (sounds snobbish I know).

There were essentially two types of people in our group. My brother and some of his 'PUA' buddies and myself and 2 friends I've known for a long time (not into PUA).
To summarise

The first couple of days I stayed around with my non-PUA buddies and found it a little overwhelming and didn't really speak to any women, other than very short conversations.

On the Sunday I just thought 'fuck it' I'm going to drink more and have a good time and do what I want to do and not be anyone's chaperone.
So we were in this pub and a lot of the PU guys were doing silly approaches but it all felt very positive. I went to the bar to get my third pint and starting talking to a girl next to me. I saw her again and smiled at her. Anyway I went over and spoke to her (that was a nerve racking walk). She was very attractive and interesting to speak to. I ended up speaking to her pretty much until midnight. She (Kerry) was telling me she was here with her partner so she felt a little guilty but what she was telling me what different to how she was feeling, I could tell. I was trying to pull her into the club but she wouldn't come.
I went for her number and she said her phone was flat and she couldn't remember it, which seemed genuine.
I remember reading you must be prepared to walk away from any woman to show you are not needy, so I told her I had to go and walked away.

A few minutes later I was talking to the guys when I noticed I noticed she had followed me and was by my side. I took her hand and walked outside with her. Some of the PUA guys were shouting 'SEAL THE DEAL' - dick heads I thought but maybe they had a point.

I went for a kiss but she backed off but said she wanted to give me her email address. That was that.

If everything she said was true I don't know why she came back to give me her email address. I have emailed her and not had a reply as yet.
Maybe I should have tried to "f-close" her as some of the PU guys said but I didn't think she was that type of girl, she was 31 and ran her own business.

This is now where meditation could be helpful as I keep re-playing the weekend and the conversation with Kerry - maybe I'm trying to get some of the 'good feelings' back now. However I need to stop doing that and just be in the present.

Anyway I have a PoF date tomorrow so will see how that does but I don't feel interested right now.

I sent that email a couple of weeks ago. Looking back it's easy to see I fucked up and should have tried to 'hard close' Kerry instead of accepting a crappy email address, but I guess I was too scared to be rejected.

I've now been on a few PoF dates but, they are not very attractive to me. I know when I grow a pair of balls and talk to hot women often they enjoy my company but I just need to put myself in that situation more.

So my plan:
Go out with more guys who want to do the same as me and approach women.
Do a 8 weeks meditation course.
Quit my easy Perm IT job and go contracting (in progress)
Possibly do a RSD bootcamp in August (undecided)

Mark

I think you pua friends probs fucked it for u shouting shit. Although if you had gone in stronger earlier you might have been more successful, im guilty of the same sitting about chatting and being comfortable with not moving the interaction forward when I know I damn well should.
POF sucks been on a few dates through it and found it was way 2 much work and all the girls I met were all weirdo stalker psychos, its all about looks and if your not super good looking the hotties rarely show any interest. I personally believe most hotties just sign up so 100s of chumps can message them and they can get an ego boost out of it.
Personally I would bother with the boot camp save the 2 grand buddy theres better things you could put that toards.

Very short and crap field report but whatever.

Decided to head out into Sheffield on Saturday evening as me and my brother were visiting our other brother in Sheffield; during the day we did a 25 mile off road bike ride in the peak district - fucking rocked but a little hot.

Anyway we were out in West Street which is like the north's answer to Oxford street? Okay maybe not but there were lots of bars and birds! :)

We went to a pub and were standing outside. One thing which I see so many guys doing it looking at women, turning to their mate saying "I'd do X to her" But then not doing anything. When I see that it makes me want to approach women more and more and not be like that... (taking motivation from my ego perhaps - not a good thing, but at least I recognise it and accept it for now)


I digress, back to the action (not much of it).
I've not really done much opening for a while sober for a long time so I was a little on edge. Anyway brother opened this 3 set, who were looking pretty cute and lots of guys ogling them. They were okay but blondy was a 'cock' as my brother put it and they soon left.

I opened up another set just asking 'hey where's good in Sheffield' They were friendly and I think I was so relived in opening them I forgot to keep the interaction going.

Anyway not much else happened, I was pretty knackered for the days bike riding.

Postive actions.
I opened women sober.

Things to improve on.
- Need to show some some of intent and open more than 1 set a night, maybe 2 next time!
- Take more risks!


Mark

Mark I like your field reports - you seem like a genuine guy who has a lot to offer girls. Believe it

Quick note to on 'Kerry' from the above field report.
My initial email to her was so weak 'did you have a good weekend at Butlins'

So I sent a second one (I know breaking all the PUA rules).
This time I just said some things which I meant.

She replied and said she was surprised when I had tried to kiss her, but she also acknowledged I was chatting her up. Anyway I think there is a potential for us to be friends or maybe I'll just keep in contract with her, and see where things go, she does have a boyfriend.

Anyway back to the new field report:

Thursday 19th July
Met up with Tebbus, Paul & Dustin

So I met Tebbus & Paul (Sugar spin bailed early wasn't feeling well).
Had a lot of anxiety prior to going, this was caused because by the thought I wouldn’t be able to approach and obviously being with PUA's that is an expectation. This was caused by worrying what other people think of me – again this is protecting my ego, I recognise that.

Went for a bit of a mooch around London then we went to a pub where there was a love struck dating event going on. Queue at the bar was a joke, but it was nice and sunny outside. So got our drinks and headed to the courtyard bit. Two girls were standing behind us and I decided just to start chatting with the old 'are you friendly' comment. One of the girls was wearing glasses and I could tell she was more confident and the other girl seemed to be nervous. I chatted for a bit, didn't really fancy either of them but was a good warm up. When I said I'm going to find my friends there was a pause, almost like they waiting for me to ask for a number. Maybe because it's a dating event they were expecting that. I maybe fucked up here because I had already judged them as being not good enough because they were at a dating event. Again ego driven bull shit I must avoid.


Went to a little pub where Tebbus opened some east European girls with a comment about her glasses. Next went to the Porter house in Covent Garden. I was with Paul and we saw some girls on the left and I thought fuck it I'll open them. They were kind of talking to themselves and I just walked up to one and pushed my shoulder gently into her and as she looked around I said the ‘are you friendly’ comment again. The girl I asked was pretty sexy. There was a good bit of banter and I realised I had just opened my first 6 set! :)
In these situations I am becoming more relaxed and this enables me to be myself more. For example the girl told me they were there because their work colleague was leaving and I said
'so are you celebrating or commiserating'... Anyway me and Paul got cock blocked by a girl who politely asked us to leave as they were there for their friends leaving do.

Next Paul opened a 2 set, a cute blonde Czech girl and a crazy not so hot Argentine girl. Long story short Paul got cock blocked by Argentine girl and drunken assuie guy.

On the way out I walked over to the cute girl I had spoken to earlier and said 'look do you want to go for a drink sometime' She looked nervous and said 'I have a boyfriend' <pause> 'and he lives with me' then she said 'thanks'. I thought this was sweet, she could have just said ‘no’. Anyway I said 'it's fine, you don't ask you don't get' and said good bye.

Next went to a little bar I was on soda water now. Saw one girl giving me an IOI and didn't do anything but then saw a 3 set at the bar. Walked up to the fitty blonde said 'hello' and waited until she looked at me and acknowledge me and said 'I'm Mark'

She was lovely such a nice girl and turned out to be a lawyer. She was asking me lots of questions and showing interest. I asked what sports she liked, she was into cricket and rugby.
I said I have no idea about those sports, (in the past maybe I'd try and get approval and pretend I liked them). Anyway turned out she's dating someone form the London harlequins. I was asking her how she met him and then she was asking about my love life, it was a nice little chat, I didn't feel like I was ‘gaming her’ in fact I’ve not felt that way about any of girls I’ve spoken too for a while.




Positives
Opened lots of girls and stayed in decent length conversations.
Didn't feel too bothered when girls told me they had boyfriends, I wouldn't mind having some more hot non-girl friends in my life if I'm honest. (edit - there' s the ego again!)
Beginning to realise I am often able to connect with women quite easily if I just talk about the stuff I'm interested in. I feel I've really connected with some girls recently, it just so happens they all had boyfriends. It's only matter of time one will be single!

Goals
Maybe just have two pints and then soda waters, I don't want a beer belly.
Enjoy talking to everyone and show an interest whoever it is and stay present.
Be less judgemental

Good shit for going out there! And even more points for approaching like a maddafakka.

Seems you have no problems with conversation too which it looks like you literally just got to figure out what you're doing rather than learning from nothing.

One thing I did notice was you seemed to get an awful lot of great conversations but they all seemed to have a boyfriend. Was this pure coincidence or something on your part?

If I was to give you my impression it'd be that you might be coming across as a friend not a fucker.

I could easily be wrong, I wasn't there, but a possibility.

Yes I think you're right Shahanshah, but maybe I don't want to be a 'fucker' until I know I want to fuck her for 100% certainty and feel she has given me the green light in some way.

Even then sometimes I know I lack intent, maybe I should try some direct openers next time.

Cool, trying different openers is fun. I love trying loads of stupid lines and ideas.

I have found that its not so much about using direct openers or indirect openers but how you're coming across. Are you coming across as a non-sexual or sexual?

Quick field report. Will keep this short and sweet.

Went away this weekend for an adventure weekend with a social group.
Chatting to lots of people but one girl stood out for me. Amazing figure and just very cute. Finally got her alone to talk too, found out we had lots in common and she was super bright too. Anyway soon found out she had a boyfriend but I'm getting used to hearing that now. In fact I like that I'm attracted to girls who are in solid relationships, I want a girl like this (obviously a single one but you know what I mean).

So she wants to meet me for some runs together, which will be cool.
Tomorrow I'm out again, plan is to talk to more women.

Also need to arrange coffee with girl from LoveStruck who winked at me and isn't a total munter.

Mark

Saturday 3rd Aug

Plan with to meet up with my mate first then meet up in Shoreditch with a couple of guys from the forum.

First part of the plan went well but after a bottle of wine we were late and missed the meeting time. Never managed to actually meet the other guys due to number of reasons.

On the way to the tube we were stopped by two girls, with "Do you know where x hospital is" then something about a Turkish restaurant. I played mr serious "Is there an emergency situation, what's wrong with you?" Got a laugh but not much else.

On the way to old street I saw a hottie on the other side of the escalator checking me out so I waved at her and she started giggling. Maybe I should have ran up the escalator the wrong way and asked for her number, next time!

Went to a quiet bar drank wine, no approaches.
Went to the Bar & Brill hoxten square. More wine.
Sat down was still quiet but 3 women next to us. One adjacent to me had a scare on left arm. I tapped her and said 'how did you get that ?', we ended up chatting a while but there was zero attraction. Didn't bother trying to number close.

Left went to another bar, more wine.
Opened 2 girls, don't remember how one was French the other was Portuguese. Don't remember much of the interaction but nothing hooked and I didn't find them attractive.

Saw two other girls, one looked cute one did not. I decided to go in true 'PUA' style by opening the one I didn't fancy. She had a ruck sack so I stood next to her tapped her on the shoulder and said 'what's in there'. She looked a little confused but her cute friend explained it to her. Cute friend was Polish. Spoke to cute friend, she came across as standoffish. By now the excess alcohol wasn't helping & I couldn't build any rapport with them, they left.

We left and my mate started opening quite a few girls in the street. I really couldn't be bothered at this stage. When I feel drunk I don't feel good about myself.

I have been doing meditation everyday this week and I am enjoying the benefits of being more mind full, however being drunk ruins all that.
Want to drink less and talk to women I find attractive!

On another note, I'm going for a run with the girl I met last weekend. I shall be present and not check out her ass, I promise.
<edit it appears I really won't be checking out her ass (karma in action) she flaked on me, to go running later 9.30 with her friend. Decided to stick to my original plans but run solo>

Mark

Decided to put a quick update.

I've not been doing much 'gaming'
I've been working on life 'life situation' as Eckhart Tolle puts it.

I left my comfortable but not challenging permanent job last week.
I'm going to go contracting, doing the same thing.

I'm hoping the change of scenery will make me feel more fulfilled. The great thing is, if it doesn't I know I'm not afraid to take action and leave and try the next thing. This is such a positive feeling I don't even know how to put it into words. kowalski would know!

The house (in the sticks) I own with my twin brother has now had an offer accepted. This means I'll be able to move to London soon, where I'll be working. I'm going to rent not buy; financially / logically it's the wrong decision. Money and logic isn't going to make me feel fulfilled. I'll rent and if things don't work out I'll move on.

To get this back on message. I was at v-festival last weekend. I wasn't drinking to start with then realised the obvious everyone else was drunk. When I drank it became more fun.

I wasn't thinking about 'gaming' so missed an opportunity which pisses me off.
I was at the bar when a cute girl came up behind me and said 'Out the way bitches' She said 'bitches' in a slurred drunken manor which sounded like 'Out the way babes'.
Her fat friend said to be, 'Did she just say out the way babes?!', in the past I would have just been logical and defended cute girl with 'no, she said bitches'. That would have been lame. So I just said something weird.... 'No she said out the way Mr Mark!'
They thought this was amazing. Cute girl said 'you go first at the bar' I did.
Her fat friend proceeded to push cute girl into me and cute girl didn't seem too mind. (This reminded me of drunken days at the student union bars, being molested and molesting fellow students)

For some reason at this point, I did fuck all. There is just no excuse for that, Mark never let that happen again.

Anyway I'm off to finish reading 1984.

Mark

On the right path mate...give me a shout when you're back in London :)

Will do mate

I split this into four parts. This post is dis-organised like my present life.

Part 1
Have been pretty busy with stuff but ended up going out last night. Wasn't really feeling up for it as am still getting over a cold, but the weather was good so went for it.

Love Struck were doing an event in London. Basically anyone with a red straw in their drink was single. This obviously made the first few approaches quite easy.

I started deliberately approaching anyone and didn't bother looking at their straws I also didn't mention the dating website and tried to avoid anything dull like that.

I was using the 'are you friendly line' which is obviously canned but whatever. I really wasn't in to it.

There were some self-amusing interactions. I wasn't really into some of the women. I did notice a few women kept looking back over at us, but I just wasn't interested.

The positives out of last night are, I went out when I couldn't be bothered too and had an okay time and spoke to lots of women.

Part 2
Friday morning I received a blank email message from Kerry (The girl I didn't seal with deal with - see my first post on this thread), we'd been out of contact since July. I thought this could have been an accident but then again perhaps not. I assumed the latter.

So I hit reply and say 'hey how's it going'. She replied back and we exchanged a few messages. I then asked if she was stilling seeing anyone and she said she had split up. A few more messages later and she has agreed to meet up for coffee.

I do like her and she's hot so I do need to be careful. To remedy this I am trying to arrange 2 dates next week and will try and go out more.

So what's the message there? I guess it's ultimately women are the choosers and you can't force things to happen. Patience is a virtue? No idea what I'm writing now, next part!

Part 3
I'm still unemployed - when women ask I tell them and it feels good ha-ha.
Note the self when my money runs out it will be less amusing get a job!

Part 4
So met an extremely cute girl through a social circle. Now have noticed she's on a dating site & have made contact, I kept it very light hearted as I don't want to embarrass her. But equally I don't want to be a pussy and not try something...

I am mindful it's Friday night when I'm writing this and probably should have done something. Tomorrow I will.

Mark

Your doing good mate, your getting out and about and trying things. And getting some results.

At least you have dates lined up. I've not got that far yet. I'm still cold approaching to build my confidence and trying to build a social circle.

I genuinely enjoy reading your journal Mark

I would say that everybody chooses and that girls only have that power if you give it to them in your own head.

You sound like you're feeling more comfortable with your interactions and you're not scared to get what you want but you haven't quite found your mojo for your self esteem

Maybe somebody else has some great ideas or maybe you just need to be a little assertive leading girls into dates with you and rejecting the girls you know aren't floating your boat...

Just remember you have the power to choose and reject girls

Mark I enjoy reading your journal too.

You seem to be a really honest bloke. It comes across in your reports.

You don't sound as if you are very 'up' about yourself mate at the moment and what the future could possibly hold for you. It's an inner game issue. I feel you are going through the motions but not really feeling it inside.

My advice is that you need to find something to get the fire burning inside you (mojo). Then everything else will start to click in place.

Give me a shout when you are back in London and we'll go out with SmileyK and whoever else turns up from the forum.

Thanks for the feedback guys.
I do sometimes have issues with self-esteem and I find meditation is helping.
I was watching a RSD video earlier where Owen says he remains present so he can rise above his thoughts. That's what I'm trying to do; it's easier than trying to change the thoughts.

Anyway onto Saturday's field report.

A last minute decision, I decided to get the train to London to go out with a couple of guys from the forum (Paul & Paul2).

I felt good at this point. I walked onto the train platform in Farnborough and noticed a petite girl with long black hair. We held eye contact and she looked away. She was super cute. At this point what did I do? Nothing I got on the train as did she. I really should have said something, anything.

An hour later I'm at Angel tube station waiting for the guys. I've never been out in Angel and I was conscious as always that I had limited time as so I could catch my last train.

We went to the first bar which had lots of tables and most people sitting down. Paul opened 2 girls sitting on a table and gestured for us to join.
There was a blonde and brunette, both Paul's were sitting opposite the girls. I couldn't really hear the conversations.

I started talking to the brunette, she worked for a PR company, I asked her exactly what that meant. I genuinely made an effort to listen to her and found it interesting. Conversation didn't go anywhere after that. We decided to eject and go elsewhere.

On the way out we critiqued our performance. Paul2 mentioned brunette immediately switched off when we were talking about work.
I didn't agree with this but didn't dispute it. In my mind I had stopped speaking to her because it was noisy and I didn't want to shout over a table so speak with her.

We went to another pub and chatted to ourselves. Went to a few more bars and Paul did get a number close.

It was now 22.45 I had to leave at 23.00 I had not approached anyone up to this point just winged. Went back to the first bar which was now a lot busier. I felt terrible at this point, not relaxed, not congruent, not myself.

Forced myself to open 2 girls at the bar, they were pleasant enough, just no real connection was made and they soon departed.

Saw a cute blonde and brunette, so opened them. Soon as I started talking to the blonde the brunette started staring at her phone.
I said something like 'hey Facebook girl' to get her attention, she did respond but went back into her phone.
Blondy then introduces me to their third friend, another hot brunette, who was from Guildford.
Wasn't feeling relaxed and the original brunette wanted shot of me. She said 'we've got boyfriends' - I was like 'that's fine - I'm being social'
I could see the blonde girl was disappointed when I didn't put up a fight but I had to leave to catch my train.

Next time:
Focus on having a good time
Amuse myself (I'm going to start jumping up and down if I'm bored)
Do not judge or talk game when out. (If other people do just ignore it)
At least say 'hello' if hot girl on train gives me the eye, grr!

Mark

Has quite a busy week for an unemployed person.

I've been offered (I think - waiting for contract) as job starting on Monday in central London. This is something I've been working towards for a while so it's pretty exciting.

Decided to go out to a meet up event in London last night Thursday 12 Sept.
The meet up group had booked out the downstairs area of the bar. We nearly weren't let in as I forgot to press the RVSP button on (must improve my meet up etiquette).


I'm going to go straight to the main bits.
Got talking to women for a bit - just interrupted her and her friend by slightly pushing my shoulder into her and said 'I'm mingling' when she looked around. I was talking for a bit and some dude comes by and it's clear the girl and this dude called J have already been talking. They were talking for a bit and I couldn't really get a word in edge ways with Mr J. At one point he was explaining to the girl what his wrist bands meant and I said to the girl:
'He's got that to stop predatory women approaching him'.
He then said something to the girl like
'Oh this is awkward, just as well I'm saving you from him'
(He said it to her and didn't look at me once, didn't look at me at all in fact)

I remember feeling a bit insulted & embarrassed but I made the choice not to react. As Eckhart Tolle would put it I observed my thoughts and realised it was just my ego and just let it go.

Anyway spoke to her a little after that and made light of it and moved on, Mr J did the same.

Next 3 set (2 girls 1 guy).
Opened and introduced myself to everyone including the guy. I didn't want to be an asshole to the guy and 'Amog' him but he walked off soon after, which I didn't really get.

Got talking to one of the girls, Andrea from Slovakia, she was pretty hot. After chatting for about 20 minutes I asked for her number, so we could go 'running'. I then stayed chatting to her for another 10 or 15 minutes.

Messaged Andrea this morning and we're meeting up next week for coffee (less effort than running).

Today I'm off to see Kerry, for our first meet, since the Butlins weekend in July (See my first post).

Tomorrow I have a love struck date & next week I start a new job (hopefully) & go flat hunting.

Mark

Another update.

Friday met Kerry. She's nice but maybe not as pretty as I remembered her. We chatted a lot and it felt very much as though we were talking like friends. She agreed to meet up again sometime to go bowling. Although I'm not sure I want to travel to Eastbourne again it's a 1.5 hours drive.

Saturday met a girl from LoveStruck. She was nice and pretty cute. Just friendly chat and I didn't feel very relaxed.

I've been reading A New Earth by Eckhart tolle and he talks about how people in the early stages of a relationship role-play.
"I'll play who you want me to be, and you'll play who I want you to be."

It felt like that with LoveStruck girl. Anyway I arranged a second date to go bowling with her on Saturday.

Sunday I had a text from Marzena, I met on the adventure weekend back in July. I had stopped texting her after she had flaked on meeting me for a run (see previous posts).
She wanted to meet for coffee. So we met. We spent most of Sunday afternoon together. I find her very attractive and she has a super hot figure. I asked about her boyfriend and she said he's away. (I'm not sure he exists).
I really don't want to fall in the friends zone with her, hmmm.

She talked about going for run together. I text her saying 'you should join me for a night out when you've moved into your new place' and left it at that. *Next meet with her I will try it on with her or I am being a pussy and not being authentic.

Monday
(Day off from girls, haha - what have I become)

Today
Met Andrea (girl I number closed on Thurday). She's definitely cute & slovak.
Took her to the same coffee shop as Saturday's date, felt like a pimp - feeing my ego but I'm aware so it's allowed :).

Again lots of chat but felt I could drift into the friend zone with her. Walked her back to the tube and kissed on cheeks and said our good byes. Have arranged to see her again.

So I am great at building comfort but shit and showing my intentions.
That has to change.

I didn't start the job on Monday, fucking recruitment consultants. Hopefully will be sorted soon.

Mark

The environment might not be helping you to feel comfortable with showing your intent.

I must admit that I find coffee shops quite public and a bit sterile. I would also need some alcohol or I would be a bag of nerves.

Once her comfort is established maybe a bounce to a nearby bar would help.

Been a while so I thought I'd do another update.

I'm been living and working in London about a month now.

I text Marzena again recently after our coffee meeting and she didn't reply. That was a kick in the balls and made
me think I should have made a move on her when we went for coffee. Maybe I'll send her one more text but not sure how to play that one.

I stopped seeing Andrea and LoveStruck girl as lost interest in them.

I did see Kerry a couple of weeks and she's coming up to see me next weekend (I think she might flake as it's a long way but we'll see)

Okay back to my nights out.
Friday 15th Nov

Meet up with SugarSpin, Tophat, Tebus, Serendipity & SmikeyK.

We went to Angel and spent some time jus chatting, Tebbus told us a funny dating story which helped me chill.
I didn't feel like we were creepy pickup guys, which is great. I was talking to SugarSpin about Kerry but then said we should talk to the girl behind us.
He preceded to ask for advice on my situation it was pretty funny and the women looked a little bemused.

I thought this was great and a good example to just talk what you're thinking about and not to over regulate every thing you're thinking.

So next bar I notice two cute girls and clock eyes with the Brunette, I say to SmileyK the girls are single and we should approach.
I recognise I still get AA and was perhaps asking for him to approach with me... SmikeyK without hesitation sat down next to one of the girls
and I went over to the one I had clocked eyes with. I ended up number closing her, I really only number close girls I like these days and they generally
don't flake. She has text me back so I'm trying to arrange a meetup in the week but I think should could prove hard work.
I owe that close to SmikeyK so thanks man, I need to work on my opening, you made it look so simple.


Saturday 16th Nov.
My mate from Hampshire came up. We went to Shoreditch, I was trying to help him with talking to girls and he ended up asking a girl for her number,
something he's not done for a while, so he felt great.

I stacked an opportunity with a northern hottie who I opened at the bar. She said 'where shall we go for a drink next' within 2 minutes of meeting me.
I actually felt a little intimidated and stacked in. I do love London though, now I am living here my nights out are a lot more relaxed.

Mark

Went out on Saturday to the forum meet-up. I didn't really have any motivation to go out but didn't want to let anyone down.

I got to meet a couple of new guys. I did zero approaches on women and didn't feel like it. Sorry fellow wingmen for being so lame.

At one point in the smoking area some guy came over and asked for a cigarette, he had an American accent so I asked where he was from. I thought fuck it, I'll try and warm up and start talking to him to be social. He was pretty funny and I enjoyed the interaction.

Anyway I'm coming down with a cold so I think that might have been why I felt so 'can't be bothered' on Saturday.

Promise to have some more energy next time and a better FR ;)

I've been reading 'models by mark mason' after some comments on the forum and so far I like it.

One of my biggest problems is not showing my emotions honestly. Especially when it comes to hot women. I've met some hot women this year but fucked none. It's not because they wouldn't have fucked me it's because I didn't fuck them or try to. That's the honest reason.

The girl I fucked in the previous year I had met online. Online I can be more direct and open about my intentions ( I let the inner pervert out )

I know some hot women (not all men pretending to be women too!) respond to this but 99% won't meet you in real life but it proves a theory; which is, hot girls can be filthy too and I need to be more direct about my intentions in real life.

My goals for 2012 were to move to London and get a job there. I've done that but next year I need to invest in myself more.

So back to last night
Met up with SugarSpin. It was a quiet night but we (sugar spin) opened lots of sets. We got bought a round of drinks then got told to fuck off when we didn't reciprocate - fair comment, although SS still number closed 'fuck off' girl - nice work.

I'm beginning to see a change in my behaviour around girls I find attractive.
Towards the end of the night I saw a hot asian girl with 2 not so hot friends. All sitting down but a chair free.
I wanted to fuck her.

With all the above in my head.
So I went over and said I'd like to see down because I think you're hot.
So we got chatting. They were all from Australia and the asian girl was called Renee.
After a while I went for her number and she rejected.
It was interesting she made out she thought it was better to meet people though online dating, I disagreed and told her if I wanted 'just to fuck her I wouldn't have asked for her number'. I'm not sure what I really meant, maybe I was being defensive but it's felt sexual just by mentioning fucking her.
I next mistake was not trying to number close her again after my frank exchange.

I'm beginning to not give a fuck, must keep going.

My first goal (starting today, not Jan 1st) is to be more honest with people about my emotions and intentions.

Mark

Nice post. I think you're right in that you should have tried for the number again. Best not to put too much importance on what girls say. As you said, you had introduced sex to the conversation (and it doesn't matter if it made sense) and she was still there.

Now your settled in London you've got a lot to look forward to next year. I'll be hoping to join you some nights. I've read Models and thought it was good. Very comprehensive.

On the investing aspect, it reminded me of a guest speaker on the David DeAngelo advanced series (on you tube). The speaker, Christian Carter, wrote a book called "Catch Him & Keep Him" which is aimed at teaching women how to create attraction in a man.

I've never read the book but in his spot at the DD seminar he opens by asking the audience the following question "What do you think a woman wants your number one priority to be?". A few guys in the audience shout out "her". He then says "no, she wants your number one priority to be you". This seems counterintuitive but it's also what Mark Manson proposes in his book.

Numbers are shit. Go for the pull. I sometimes get numbers and I guess in social circles its different but in cold approach go for the pull. The number is a complete after thought. Cooooomplete after thought. Like this ''well give me your number/take my number' if for whatever reason you cant take her home. Im not saying numbers wont be fruitful BUT they shouldnt be the aim of your interaction. Even if numbers are all you care about, treat them like its a plan B.

Trust me I have a bronze medal

You're right, Shah. One of the reason's I've been going for numbers is maybe to get validation off the girl, which is bull shit.

I've noticed the last few times I've been out all the girls are sticking around and I'm running off to get the last tube. I'm going to try going out some nights sober and driving so I can stay out as late as I want.

Mark

If you know you have to leave early then subconsciously you might be going for the number. Have you just rationalised later that it was for validation?

Staying till the end of the night would probably make a difference. I've only ever had a few SNLs but I had to work on them all night and stay until the end to close it. One interesting thing is one of the girls I had spoken to at the beginning of the night and was direct like you were. She blew me out but I saw her again near the end of the night and took her home.

The next day I asked her if she remembered speaking to me at the beginning of the night and she said no. In fact she was adamant that the first time she'd spoken to me was at the end of the night. It might have just been the drink making her forget (but more likely it was her slut shield activating as on the first interaction I had asked her to come back to my place).

But I wonder if my first direct approach made an impression on her that triggered something when she saw me later on in a different pub (when she approached me). If you can find out where they're headed later on it's worth going there...and stay until the end.

Friday 10th

Met up with wit a few of the guys at the porter house last night.

I still tend to get in my head far too much. However I pushed myself to do an approach with two girls who we'd seen standing at the bar for some time. I didn't really fancy either but just wanted to get going. They were a little stand-offish at first but i've come to expect that. They warmed up a little and we spoke but I didn't fancy either so I said goodbye and left.

SugarSpin next opened a couple of women at the side and I went in to wing him. I started chatting to a blonde girl, I didn't fancy her and it felt quite hard work initially. In the end I made a real effort to listen to her and found out she was a smart girl and she seemed to be enjoying talking to me. However I didn't fancy her.

I'm being more honest with myself around women, Mark Mason proposed we think of women in binary, we either find them attractive or not. None of this 1-10 scoring bull shit.

So back to the night. I spotted two women at the bar. both were attractive (blonde and brunette) and approaching them was difficult but I pushed myself to it.

Straight away the blonde did most of the talking but the brunette was just gorgeous and was staring straight at me with a huge smile, amazing. The blonde girl was from Sweden and her quieter brunette friend from Germany.

The blonde girl was being quite bitchy to me, I didn't mind this, I don't think I would have done anything differently in hindsight. She said 'are you here by yourself' I gave some pretty chilled replies however I was being a little reactive.
I thought to myself 'I did come here with guys, but I approached on myself I could do this anytime, I rock!...

I felt I had to warm the blonde girl up to have a chance with the hot brunette. I think I should have just ignored the blonde girl and talked to the hot brunette and told her I thought she was hot. (Someone told me to stop using the word should as it's pointless, perhaps I should)

After a few minutes the blonde asked if she could talk to her friend alone. So I said goodbye.

There was one other girl I thought was hot and I didn't approach and she was standing by herself looking at her phone. In my head I made an excuse that was was waiting for her boyfriend, so didn't approach. After a minute or two her girl friend arrived.... I missed out.


In summary, It's good I'm going and not drinking much and I need to keep approaching the women I find hot. Talking to a women just for the sake of it is bull shit. I'm out to meet hot women and have fun and I need to keep pushing myself in this direction.


Mark

A little update.

After moving to London my work situation has become settled. I am a contractor and have been offered another 6 month.

I need to refocus back on things outside of work.

Friday 7th Feb
Headed out with SugarSpin in the angel area. I was excited to go out with SugarSpin we click well and generally seem to wing each other well and just have a good time.
Also I've been trying to following Mark Mason's guide on only jerking off once a week so I felt pretty horny!! Also was determined not to go for a number and go for a SNL (jesus did I just use a PUA term)


Went to the first bar and had a drink, didn't do much so left and went to the second bar.
The second bar had a very young crowd in it. Sugarspin opened two girls who looked slightly older sitting down. There was a brunette and a blonde.
As soon as I started chatting to the blonde girl I was thinking I'd like to fuck her. She was chatting about her job then some of her passions. At one point she was talking about her childhood ambition to be an airhostess.
I said it's a pretty good job you get to fly around the world and fuck the pilot. Initially she seemed a little shocked then said 'yea well if he was fit'...
We left and I said where we were going next and she said she might seem me there. I know I should have got her number at that point and tried to hook up with her later that evening.

when back to bar 1. Me and SS we raving it up on the dance floor that guy has some moves. Some big fatty tried to shove her ass in my crotch, when I didn't make a move she turned around and said 'are you gay?' I said 'yes I like big cocks in my ass'.

Not much else happened at that bar. Went to 3rd bar.
The 3rd bar felt 'dangerous' but myself and SS agreed it also felt like it had 'opportunities'.
I saw a cute blonde, got chatting and found out she was 19 but I felt there was attraction on both sides, I really wanted to see her tits. Anyway her friend pulled her away :(

I saw some miserable looking hot girls on the side of the dancefloor. Said to SS they must be from Eastern Europe, let's find out. Opened and found out they were Italians. SS said to me she's married, look at her ring finger. I turned around to her and said 'are you married' She said 'no' . Anyway I quickly made a move on her and she was not interested.


I'm not going to over analyze that shit. All I can say is I am hitting on women I found attractive & showing more intentions than before, I need to keep doing it. Also need to start going to a gym though as feeling sluggish today. Have a date tonight though :[]

Mark

Mark I was just thinking of you this week.

Nice to see your field reports and not have to stop bein lazy and send you a message!

I'm on the MM diet as well. Blue balls at the mo. I think it does drive you on an extra 10%... more single minded.

I'm getting less and less intimidated by the age thing. If they look 18+ and I get an IoI, like eye contact, I'll go for it.

On verbalising the intent, I've not been doing that but I feel as if I'm able to put it across with eye contact and physical contact (hand holding). In some way it seems more erotic that it's all going on beneath the surface but the conversation itself is pretty banal. That's just what seems to suit me. I used to think being intense was a problem but I'm using it now.

Good to see you're out and about and good luck with the date.

Friday 28th Feb

Went out to the usual place with SugarSpin.

I've had a cold this week so didn't expect to go out but it felt good being out. There's something really exciting about knowing you're going to talk to hot women and I love how if you make the effort to approach most other guys back off and you have them one on one. :)

I normally get bad AA however saw two girls and opened them without much hesitation. Said something like, why's your drink a red colour. (Amazing opener skills).

One was a blonde scouser, she was pretty foxy.
We chatted for probably 10 minutes and I left to put my coat away - I told her we can dance later. In the end I didn't dance with her later as guys were all over here by then and I just couldn't be fucked.

Sugar spin opened a 3 set who were sitting down. I went to join. I didn't really fancy the two I was chatting with. Anyway I established one of them was Australia (after guessing she was American - she loved that...). The other one was a CEO of some charity.
Sugar spin gave me the look to bail as his girl was being a bitch.

More time went on. Went to the dance floor and was having a little boogie when I saw the 3 girls from above. They're like Hey Mark and I walk over and go, Hey, you're the bitch, you're the CEO and you're the American.
They were definitely receptive to us, although they were chatting a lot. I should have made more of a move.

Later that night as me and SugarSpin were standing and we saw them leaving, I grabbed 'bitch' girl and said 'hey bitch I think you're hot, give me your number'
She had a big grin on her face but didn't leave me her number. After I thought WTF was I asking her number for, i should have just grabbed her and not let her escape!

I probably could have been more aggressive but my main problem is not going out enough. If I went out more regularly I think I'd get more comfortable at escalating.

Anyway off for a week snowboarding, rock and roll :D

Mark

Sounds like a decent night and you just needed to pull the trigger at the end.

Hi,

Just a little update.

Being going through a really difficult spell where I'm finding it hard to even approach random people in the street. Social anxiety hell.

I have recognised part of this is down to moving to a new city and job and leaving behind the comfort of friends I could count on to see every time I went out

Today I went out with a friend of a friend who clearly is a lot more comfortable just chatting to random girls and people and it motivated me so much. I got talking to girls and it was really fun.

Also I've made friends with one the girls I was dating last year and I see her every now and then and she is happy to introduce me to her friends.

For some reason I still have a lot of demons in my mind I have to battle but I'm going to win eventually, no surrender.

Mark

Can relate to the feeling of moving to new and unfamilar territory. Especially big cities which are intense places to live.

I've noticed a dip in my motivation since moving. In my last place I was approaching more but did have the comfort of familiarity and freinds around me. I think it's only natural it will take time to adjust and things will improve if we keep going.

It sounds like you're turning the corner. We'll need to go out soon just to chill and catch up ...and chat to randon girls of course!

Yes dude, are you living in London now?

Yes, just over a month. Work has been very hectic as well, though that should be easing off soon.

Saturday 4th May

Well I've been on a self imposed ban on alcohol since April 13th.

I'm sure I'll drink again but I just want to experience talking to hot girls and not only do it with alcohol in my system. Also I want to see if it helps my emotional state.

Met with Serendipity and Igor centrally and went to a pub (as you do).
Got chatting, wasn't long before some women were admiring are tree. There is a tree in the pub and they weren't sure if i was real or not. They were all married but a nice chat.

Got chatting to quite a few girls plus two hot blonde 20 year old Danish girls. They were sweet but had to go home for their (not required) beauty sleep.

Next went to a nightclub. Probably not the best place to pick-up girls as the music was so loud couldn't really talk.

However I've been making a lot more effort with eye contact and I caught eyes with a few girls and I know I should have spoke to them. It was a confidence boost anyway as I've not been out for a while.

When I was leaving (4am) there was a gorgeous blonde in the coat queue behind me. I hesitated and asked how her night was going, we had some small talk and she seemed lovely and not drunk too. I had a little voice in my head saying 'if you don't make a move now you'll regret it'. So I said to her I thought she was pretty. She almost rolled her eyes . After that I tried to get her number but it was never going to happen.

Anyway I felt great for pushing myself to talk to her and doing it sober. I was actually shaking a little after with nervous energy. I know it's fucked up and it shows I'm investing way too much in what other people think of me (like I didn't already know that).

In hindsight I should have made more effort to talk to her before 4am, she was lovely.

All in all a good night and I feel great today not hungover and my mood is normal.

Got my first tinder date later, seems like an easy way to meet girls.


Mark