I have decided to finally get the balls to write one of these as have been reading through everyone elses and have now realised that through doing this everyone has seemed to have documented their progression well and this has helped them analyse their success/failures and build upon themselves to much greatness.

This is the first of (hopefully) many continued reports/diaries that i'm hoping you'll read and comment on to give me a bit of a hand, especially once i hit some sticking points.

First off i thought i'd start with a brief bit of background about myself!
I am James. I live in West Sussex which i have been a resident of for most of my blinkered life.
5 months ago i split with my girlfriend of 31/2 years and this kind of woke me up to my own reality, one that has left me 1/100th of the person i should be!
2 years into the relationship we moved to a town that was close to her work and by doing so i lost all my friends.
Recently i have made a few new mates and a decent local that i now frequent.
My trouble is that i have found that i had become the nervous, shy guy who stands at the back of most group conversations and has the odd bit to add to anything and most of the time get talked over (that is when i'm not already tripping over my nervous, stammering words) The kind of guy that if was to be described by someone, all they could say would be just plainly..nice!!

A couple of months ago i was given a book by a work mate and told to read it, this was everyones starting book "The Game" and although i found this quite intriguing and quite envious of some of the tales, i realised that the master PUA wasn't my objective.
After reading a quite a few posts here, i have found that my main goal is to be (as Kowalski keeps banging on about ) Socially Awesome.
I am not interested in how many women i can get or finding the perfect woman, blah blah blah, for me it is purely my objection to become confident, funny, to be able to tell a great story, get great life experiences and most importantly get loads of real mates of both sexes (not just acquaintances)!

Anyway...Recently i have been going out with these few mates and partying every weekend. I have started building up my confidence and being able to get involved more but am really having trouble opening (mainly women)! This is one of the main reasons i am writing this as it will force me to do this and get over my phobia otherwise face a slating from this forum!

I am fairly attractive and have had a lot of interest from girls that come into our social group (most of which are of v/limited beauty and am not interested as i a, don't want to get involved with anyone and b, am not settling for "the next thing that shows a bit of interest") but i have not once tried opening to anyone.

I have an extremely busy weekend planned of
Friday = 2 girls leaving party
Saturday = Paintballing + a mates birthday and clubbing!
Sunday = Day of watching footy!

These all have a lot of chances of opening/escalating/etc. so now by writing this have now got no excuse to put everything i have read over the past couple of months into practise and just go and grow a pair!!

anyway.....i will post my outcomes which hopefully will be less boring than this initial post and then each one will show a bit of progression over the coming months!

Thanks

It's awesome that you have realised that you need to change and now you're going to act on that, much respect.

Don't pile too much pressure on yourself to go out and get tons of women, it's a gradual process with ups and downs but from your post it seems like you have your head screwed on.

Just go out try a few things and enjoy yourself

Biiiiiiiig Respect for that post Robbo, a very true and honest account with realistic future goals in mind. I'm glad you have the attitude of not wishing to settle for the first thing that comes along.

Right time for my first proper field report!
Thanks to all who commented on the last.

I had extremely good intentions over the weekend and tried a few NLP techniques on myself to help build my confidence up. I felt this starting to work but unfortunately all this got blown out of the water on Friday night.

Friday - Finished work at 17:30 and my plan was to take a leisurely drive from Brighton over to Steyning for Jujitsu for 7, unfortunately whilst walking to my car i realised that i had in fact left my training stuff back at home a 45 minute drive away!!!
I stepped up my pace and then drove like a fucked up psycho rally driver to get back only to find that my ex was at our flat (I think she must have sensed that I was going back there).
I went in and whilst changing she declared that she has been to the doctors and they think she maybe pregnant and it would be mine (We have been meeting up every now and again but due to her being on the pill and with all her medical problems this would be a complete medical miracle). She then claimed that she wants me back and I have the time it takes for me to get changed and go to decide if I want to be with her or never see her again!
I decide in that minute of changing that I will stay will her. This decision was purely based on that if she is pregnant then I'd do the honourable thing. I now have 1 1/2 weeks to wait to find out! I am still split 50/50 about how I feel, as I think it would be a backwards step for me to get with her.

Anyway......I drive to Jujitsu finish at 8 rush back over to Brighton, get to my gym shower and change, have a subway and then meet up with my mates in a emptyish bar at 9:30. My mates finish their drinks and then meet up with the Girls who's leaving do it is at Walkabout.
14 Girls - 3 of which are 8-9's, 1 slut and the rest are far too HippoCrocaPig looking.
Got chatting to everyone started to have a laugh and mucking about getting covered and covering people in army paints which was the theme of the evening.

About 11:30 all the girls want to go to the club across the road and have a better dance so all leave. 3 of my mates don't want to go. We all have paintballing at 9 in the morning and they want to go to bed (the lossers!). As I am the designated driver and there are no more trains until 6am I try and overrule them as have not put all the effort of getting there and dressed up for only 2 hours, this process takes 45 minutes of hard work!
We finally make it to the club and have now used up a lot of my sober energy on trying to get the guys into the club. It turns out that all the good looking girls have gone home and we are left with the ugly ones! I am purely out for a good time anyway and to stop thinking about my decision of the ex! I like dancing a lot so get straight on the dance floor with the remainder of the girls, have a bit of a muck about dance and then spot my Jujitsu instructors daughter get on the floor! GOD DAMN, what a body, wearing one of the tightest shortest dresses i've ever seen!! she spots me and walks over, I haven't spoken to her before as she only ever just pops into training! Says hello and have a brief chat. On hindsight i wish i'd pursued her a bit more but the image of her dad pummelling the shit out of me was a bit off putting! Think I will try next Friday if she's about! i've got to try as that body would look so good around me and would be a crime not to be, lol!
Spoke to the slut of the group for a while at the bar and found out that one of the HippoCrocaPigs had warned everyone off of me so she could have her to herself! Great! why does that always happen to me?!? Anyway carry on chatting and after a bit of kino from her she suddenly stops and says in a load enough voice so all us guys can hear and in a tone as if she was telling us to rectify this "Why am i buying my own drinks tonight?" this pissed me off a bit so told her that she should be buying my drinks instead! to which I got an attitude style hand in my face whilst she walked off! I then continued to neg her for the rest of the night to make her feel a lot of lower value! This i realise is bad behaviour on my part but i felt that she needed to be taught that she can't just get away with acting like that just coz some men trip over themself to get her a drink coz she's acts really slutty!
Nothing else really happened that night except another one of the group kept getting close and wouldn't stop looking at me (this was a little scary), bottled a few approaches as usual. Then went home about 3

Saturday - Up at 7:30 for paintballing! I think i must have hit snooze about 6 times! finished paintballing at 4:30, drove home to have a quick sandwich, a 15 minute kip and shower and pick up a couple of mates to then go round another mates house in Crawley! Finally got there at 9 after everyone's fannying about! Had a few cans and a few vodka redbulls and manage to chat shit to a few people i didn't know (this i am most happy with as my main goal is to increase my social group).
11:30 hit and we all get a few taxis straight to the club! One of the group knows the bouncer and just gets us in VIP without paying which was a shame as I know the manager but she was on holiday and she usually gives us a load of free drinks vouchers as well which saves £4.40 for each drink (the place is a rip off). The VIP is shit but has it's own smoking area so you don't have to queue up for 15 minutes for a fag! getting in free helps as well as its 8 quid usually and definitely not worth that price!

After quite a few girly bottles i find that i'm falling asleep standing up and talking, so need to dance to wake myself up. None of my mates like dancing but a mates girlfriend is up for it, i soon find out that this is a big mistake! we get on the dance floor and start dancing and mucking about. Try to break into a few groups of girls and dance with them but find that i keep getting cock blocked by my girl mate, this had to stop so decided to take her back to my mates and try and find someone to wing me! Fail! we can't find them. we look round the whole club a few times but can't find them! i am resigned to the fact that i am not going to get anywhere tonight so on the odd chances i get at the bar just work on chatting to guys and increasing my social group!
2:45 hits and my mates finally get on the dance floor, finally i can get away from the girl, but all that is left is guys! Shit!
We leave get a kebab and taxi and carry on drinking till 6

Sunday - Wake up at 10, have to get up as need to get home, shower, eat and get to the pub to watch all the days footy! Get there but none of my mates are there yet. This is good as it makes me chat a lot to anyone near me. They get there about 40 minutes after me. Half way through the Chelsea v Spurs game i find myself falling asleep again! God i'm getting old! But have been persuaded to go bowling with a group we just started talking to. we go bowling and find that we have been suckered into a deal that means we have to bowl for 3 hours! I chat a bit but find that my bed is calling me and make my excuses and leave.

Reflection -This was not a good weekend for me. My ex screwed my head about and have not been feeling good since then! I shied away from approaching far too much and am not sure if this is because i was too scared to take that step, too tired or i'm using the ex as an excuse not too. I am starting to feel like the latter is true and that i am also just making excuses all the time not too approach
I don't want to cheat on her but i think i need to go out and pull to see how i truely feel about her! Even though i haven't made much progress, i have started to build up a stronger friendship with some of my mates which i know will end up breaking if i do get back with her, plus i feel like i'm going to resent her as won't be able to concentrate on getting to where i want to be and probably stop my journey altogether.

I had a great weekend planned full of opportunity and had a great time when i was feeling good but have annoyed myself by not manning up and "grasping the bull by the horns" (for want of a better expression!) I need just block out the cowardness and get someone to push me into the sets!
I also need to make sure i get enough beauty sleep so that i am on my game a bit better and also find some mates that will actually get on the dance floor! A lot of them have girl friends so don't really have anyone to sarge with.
I now don't have another opportunity to try again for a couple of weeks as am going camping in the middle of nowhere this weekend for a mates birthday unless it starts raining and then we are going to hit Brighton instead!
Everyone please pray for rain!

Inspiring words there tom, just what i needed to hear today. I think i put too much pressure on myself last night. Im pretty sure you'll be able to gather that on reading my field report.

Hey Robbo. I read your post about your weekend, wow what a long post that was, but i couldn't stop reading! Lol. Your current situation was like my own in some ways. Since discovering the community i've been working on self improvement and trying to meet people who share the same compelling desire to be succseful with them.

I recently split up with my girlfriend as i no longer want to be in a relationship. I want to meet lots of girls and build my confidence and well being up to a point where i can choose the women i want. I wouldn't feel comfortable telling her this, so i didn't. I just said that i didn't want to be in a relationship. She then told me she was pregnant. I was skeptical at first as i've heard this before after breaking up with someone. Then it turned out that she actually was.

I was shitting bricks as i'm not ready for that kind of responsibility! Anyway, we both decided that it would be best not to have the child. I think you all know what that means, and though i'm not proud of it i'm neither ashamed. I knew i didn't want to be with her, and i didn't want my kid growing up with his father hardly ever around. I'm in the army so i couldn't be around as much as i'd like to be.

My situation differs from yours Robbo, as i wasn't with her nearly as long as you were with your gf. I was only with mine for a few months but we had a deep connection (it just went pete tong on holiday when i saw a side of her i didn't like). As for the child, i'm by no means suggesting you take the route i did. I just think you should take time to think whether or not you really want to be with her. When you say 'do the honourable thing', i disagree with doing anything that's ultimately gonna make you unhappy.

I couldn't resist commenting here cos it just reminded me of a situation i was recently in. Hope this helps in some way.

Nick

Thanks Kowalski and also thanks for the advice Nick.

We have done one check and that came back negative and am having to wait a few more days before a final one so i think i've "dodged a bullet" (touch wood), and can soon concentrate more on my progression.

I was going to "do the honourable thing" because i hadn't really thought about all the implications at hand. I have been listening to what Tyler said about ex's and negativity in the Blueprint and would have been ignoring everything as well as suppressing how i really felt and put on a show that i'm happy just to raise a kid! I am fucked up enough without bringing a kid into the world whilst i'm acting my life!
I would end up creating the worlds most fucked up kid, lol!

Now time for a very quick sketchy field report as i've run out of time so may add to it later on or have to explain myself better.

Wednesday 23rd September 09
Went to the pub for a mates birthday.
Saw a girl i'd previously had a day 2 with but got LMR and since then hadn't really talked to. Got chatting with her a bit later and did the Ring Finger Routine which worked a treat (since then i am only going to use this as a last resort as have realised that as i am on the "Quest for Social Awesomeness" and i need to stick clear of all routines and lines and just be natural). i went back inside to talk to my mates with her as it started raining. Got a few texts from her whilst in the pub saying that she wanted me. Result!!

Walked her to a taxi with a few mates at the end of the night and she tried to k-close me but i couldn't do it as am still tied to the ex so just offered the cheek! grrr!! thought this may have spoilt anything from happening it until i got a text that night asking why i hadn't gone back with her and then again in the morning saying that she wants to meet up soon!

This was a massive confidence boosting day and will hopefully help me get a bit of confidence to get over my first stumbling blocks!
Just need to make sure that I play this carefully now and don't get suckered into another relationship straight after the last one so will have to be pretty straight from the start and hopefully have just found a FB!!

Awesome! You've got the skills and she's asking to meet with you, usually it's the guy that does the asking.
Just be straight with her and say you don't want to get into anything serious, which is the truth.

Hope the situation with your ex works out ok.

Thanks Tom.
I need to now be straight with every girl in my life and stop burying my head in the sand and hoping everything will sort its selves out. That behaviour is what gets you in trouble and then in positions where you become trapped and it then becomes messy.

To add to my statement of using routine like the ring routine as a backup...I have suddenly realised that i'm not going to use these at all as i would be then be trying to claw back a set that was originally going no where.
Instead I need to just move on and reflect on where it went wrong as i'd end up feeling like i've tricked a girl to like me instead of just using my own personality.

Thanks

James

'Just need to make sure that I play this carefully now and don't get suckered into another relationship' - Omg, you sound just like me lol. I've told myself now that i'm never EVER letting that happen again. Glad you found my post useful, hope it all goes well for you man.

Nick