Friday 2nd October 09

Completely forgot that is was another mates birthday today until I got a text at 4 from a mate asking if I was up for going to Brighton for it.
I had hurt my shoulder doing too much at Kung Fu all week so decided to blow out Jujitsu and then decided to blow out the leaving do i was supposed to be going on.
Got to a mates in Crawley at 9 only to find he was nowhere near getting ready so whilst we waited for his only top to be tumble dried, we played Fifa and drank a few warm up beers.
We got a lift to the train station and whilst in the car, I managed to spill a massive amount of fosters all over my crutch leaving a blatant looking piss stain, fuck!
Fortunately it had pretty much dried off by the time we got into Brighton and finished the ridiculously large vodka drink that we had brought for the journey.
We phone the birthday boy to find out where he is, They (a big mixed group) are in Yates' so we join them and spend about 10 minutes in there before they decide they want to leave to go to Oceana. (thats twice in 3 weeks I've been to the more commercial part of Brighton and it's starting to annoy me. I don't know what the obsession with girls and those kind of clubs are! Brighton has a much better night-life outside the main strip from the train station!)

Me and a mate get to Oceana later as had to finish our drinks and open a set with some girls in the queue whilst we are waiting to get in. This doesn't really go anywhere as when we get in we are more concerned with getting a drink and finding the rest of everyone.
Open the bar maid and chat a while as the bar wasn't very busy. I saw how bad it got at one point last time i was in there so did this so i could get served quicker which works in my favour later on. On reflection i should have carried on more with this as she was about an 8 or 9 but I was being pulled away by my mate who was desperate to find everyone.
Went outside for a fag and saw the girls from the queue. They looked deep in conversation and i wanted to interject but then started to get deep inside my head.
After a minute of arguing with myself, i think fuck it and interrupt them which was a bad idea in the end. I crashed and burned as they were talking about how homesick they were and couldn't lift them.
After that i tried a few more approaches and didn't really get anywhere.
Then got a kebab and taxi home.

Saturday 3rd October 09

Saw the ex today and I finally plucked up the courage to tell her it's all over. She then says as that is the case then she is going out but is going to stay at our flat with me as she wants one last night with me.

19:00 hits and i've got to get out of the flat. I go down to a pub and wait for a few mates who are turning up in an hour. I watch a bit of footy and look a bit lonerish until they turn up as there is no-one in there worth talking to. I text a few people to see if they fancy coming out and then get a text from the Previous Day 2 girl (now named pd2g) saying that she is about and she's dressed up sexily and I should come see her.

we have a few pints in the pub then head to another bar thats having a Coyote Ugly night with some poledancers. The place is rammed and finally get to the bar and get some drinks. Unfortunately my ex is in there and she comes over and says hello. We move on to a better viewing area and then the ex and her mates come over and start chatting with us!
We finish our drinks asap and head to the bar that PD2G is at. That is packed and we can't get in so go to the bar round the corner get some drinks and sit upstairs.
i text the PD2G and tell her where we are and they meet us 15 mins later, all hammered. after a minute of talking to the girl she pretty much rapes my mouth with hers then forces all of us to go to the only club in Horsham (if you can call it that, everyone hates it but everyone still goes!) along with the promise of "if i go then i'm guaranteed sex later".
We get to the club, i open a few sets in the queue then at the bar. Then chat to the bar man and get a free drink. I then see all of my ex's mates in there so have a chat with them and find out my ex has gone back to the flat so i decide i need to avoid the PD2G until my ex's mates have gone home (they are all light weights and never last longer then 30 mins in the club).
They go home early as predicted so do a bit of grinding and then get isolated. PD2G is really tired, drunk and her legs are hurting and wants to go home and has now starting to get really bratty (big turn off and something i'm going to have to quash if this starts to go any further). I don't want to go and can't go with her so find her mates and get them to take her home.
She texts me saying that she's waiting for me outside which i ignore for a while and then text back later.
I open a couple more sets outside whilst having a fag then leave once the place closes and go get a kebab and then home again.


Reflections

1. I have never opened so much in my life. I am not worried about crashing and burning and am not going to dwell on this as my only goal of the weekend was to actually open.
I have got to stop the problem of going inside my head but that will come with time and the more i open the better i'll get and the less i'll be going inside my head.
I am really, really happy with this tho as a month ago i wasn't even plucking up the courage to say hello to anyone so am going to just take this weekend as complete positives.

2. Splitting with the ex has now lifted a massive weight off of my shoulders and i feel a lot better about my future now.

3. I hate bratty girls

4. I seem to have a problem now being talked over or not being able to put in my view of the conversation. This is only with some people. Once the other person starts to speak i end up just nodding and yepping along and i cannot interject with my point of view or story as the person talking either ignores/talks over whatever i try to say and carries on or changes the subject to something else. It's pissing me off! Can anyone help apart from the obvious of just talking louder at the same time i'm not sure where to start!

Thanks

James

i've always been a bit of a push over and far too laid back.
It's time to show my authority!

Thanks,
It is only people who have known me for a few years that do that. Anyone now i meet, i don't allow them the act that way.
I've now got to reshape everyone elses reality of me to allow myself to grow and this means going to the mattresses, lol!

This thread is a great read, its lead me to re-evaluate exactly what i should be starting on. For some reason i seem to have started in the middle, i've been wondering why after i've been confident to approach a small set and isolated, even number/kiss closed, why it never seems to progress to day 2. Now its a painful truth but writing it down here will force me to deal with it head on, i've been a bore... When it comes down to talking to a girl one on one i really only seem to talk about jobs, once i've moved on to something else like hobbies i'm pretty much out of ideas.

I think i need to get out more to be honest, and just start opening, start with a small goal and just meet new people, try and be more fun and interact more. My friends are rarely up for a night out so i'm going to have to start flying solo.

anyway i certainly have hope after reading this and soon i hope to have a field report of my own!

Cheers

Steve

I meant to post something on this a few days ago but didn't get round to it, I've actually had work to do!

Awesome that you're not worried about crashing and burning. You're realising yourself not just from people telling you that the more you do it the easier it will get and you won't get in your own head as much either.

K's advice is good as always about being talked over. I think because we are taught to be polite and let others have their say we go to far and be overly polite and deferential to them.

Thursday 8th October

This isn't a field report as such, more of just a "me" update.
I want to document any little bit of progress i have and as i haven't been out and in a position to try anything since the weekend, i haven't been able to try anything.

I have been texting the PD2G a lot and it seems she really likes me but am now starting to struggle to think of much more to say to her. I am not getting an opportunity to meet up with her to be able to progress this properly as it seems like everytime she or I arrange to meet one one one, she then blows me out! it doesn't bother me as i've always got other things to do instead, i'd just like to get a shag every now and again when i'm promised one, lol!!

On Monday i finished the audio book of the Blueprint. I found this a real amazing listen and although now i look back and try to remember what most of the 20 hours of audio was trying to tell me, i find that i can't really remember any of it! lol!
What i have found though after listening to it is more of a sense of purpose along with the correct path for which to take on my journey. I feel more more calm in myself and happier within.
I want to be able to find that permanent state and become happy within myself and be more whole, which will lead to a great self-esteem and no need for an ego!

On Wednesday, I had got hold of and finished the audio copy of the Flawless Natural.
I wasn't entirely impressed with this. Although it was geared to doing everything naturally and Tim kept saying not to follow his methods and to come from your own core, it made me feel like it would end up produce a lot of copy cats who will just use his exact routines a bit like monkey see, monkey do. I found a lot of it seemed not to be using canned lines but instead canned methods. (i might have gotten the complete wrong end of the stick with this so please correct me).
What i did find really good about it was Intent, Woo and how to use your voice, all which i will try and learn from and use (although woo was covered in the blueprint a lot deeper).
He says to only use one thing at a time and then once mastered go back to it and find something else from it.

I have just started listening to the Flawless Natural again to see what i missed.
Once i have finished it again, i will relisten to the Blueprint.

I am on holiday on Saturday for a week in Turkey and pretty much alone so will have plenty of opportunities to try out opening and some of the points brought up in the past few books (Unless i've manage to pick the only place that is miles out of anywhere with only grannies to attack!).

Thanks

James

Flawless natural has probably been a bit diluted by the blueprint. I think what Tim is trying to do is show ways he operates within his happy but with intent mindset and the things he shows are things he has done on a night out on the spur of the moment. Which can be used as routines but if you are in a fun mood you should invent your own fun stuff to do like > http://www.puaforum.co.uk/seduction-...ose-downs.html

This week i spent a week in Turkey with my parents.
Not the coolest thing to do when you're 27 and single but it was free, i needed a holiday, none of my mates could afford to go away and...fuck it, i'm so damn cool, who the hell is going to judge me!!!
This is going to be a long report so bear with me and try and read though it all

Anyway...

Got there Saturday night with an awful cold, i felt really run down so spent from Saturday night to Wednesday day doing only sleeping in the Sun and having a few pint with my parents before having an early night.

Tuesday Night

I was feeling great, pumped up on cold and flu tablets and really fancying going out!
I had seen a few girls and guys around the resort that i'd over heard were going out into the town tonight but even if i didn't see them before i go out, i'd got it in my head that i'm going alone!
Anyway i had tea early and went to the pool bar as it was the only one with any music and got a beer and sat at the bar trying to chat to the useless bar man.
About 10 mins later 2 girls sit down next to me at the bar and order a cocktail each. Fuck i say to my head and ask about their cocktails.
30 minutes later i'm still chatting and chatting, i've got these 2 strange girls involved in a 30 minute conversation and got them laughing and joking and with me doing most the talking! This hasn't really happened to me before, whats going on?
10 minutes later 3 girls and 2 guys join us who had already been planning to meet the 2 i was already chatting to to go into town.
I get introduced and we all sit down at a big table which after about 15 minutes is covered in empty glasses from downing competitions.

12 hits and we decide to head to the main town (an hour and a half walk away) we decide to get a taxi though and all 8 of us pile in a 5 seater taxi and force him to take us, result!
We go into the first bar, sit down and order our drinks. I start chatting to a really cute 19 year old (from now on c19), part of the group i'm with and after about 20 mins she drags me up to dance. I do the classic of dancing like a nut job whilst every now and again spinning her and pulling her in (upon reflection it seems i was doing a bit of push/pull dancing without realising) after 10 mins she gazes up at me and you could see it in her eyes that she wants to kiss me and moves in.
I don't (it's far to early and easy) and we get moved to the bar/club next door!
I can't remember too much about this place! I remember bits and pieces but it all came a bit blurry after i ordered a beer and told the bar man to give me a free shot which he obliged.
He filled a brandy glass with Cointreau, Vodka, Zambuca, another shot, lit it and poured in Blue Sapphire. he then handed over 3 straws, 1 for me, 1 for c19 and one for one of the guys i was with. We blew the flame out and he lit it again and told us to drink it through the straw! If this ever happens to you, please do not drink it. I had a suck and it was alright. The 2 next to me tried it and instantly started throwing up at the bar! Nice! I had another go and realised what was wrong! You literally had 2 sucks of liquid before the straw set on fire and all you got was a lung full of burning plastic fumes!! anyway i persevered and got through half before i wanted to chunder!
After this drink, i don't know what happened to me, i felt like a god! I was getting nicer free shots off all the barstaff. People were trying to dance with me, I was opening everywhere, I had multiple groups getting me to join in their fishbowls, I could walk through the packed club with everyone getting out of my way. All whilst dragging C19 around behind me, lol! After a while i felt i'd put her out of her misery and actually kiss her. We do, she starts getting really horny and we leave to go back to hers, it takes 3 hours!
By which time her friends catch us up and we all go in to their apartment room. Everyone falls asleep and we do the deed for a few hours in the bathroom.

Wednesday

I'm going to keep this shorter as the last part took so long.

I go out with my parents and eat and watch the footy!
I then meet everyone in the club we finished up at last night.
They are all hammered and i'm only just ready to start!
It's 12:30 and one of the guys is already dancing in his boxers wearing a mexican hat! This becomes mine for the rest of the night! I get a drink! All of the barstaff come over and say hello and shake my hand and i get served straight away! Cool!
C19 starts trying it on again, I dance with her, kiss her..I'm not that interested tonight. It's too early and i haven't had a good enough time yet to spend my night being isolated by her.
After an hour they all want to go home except one guy who wants to pull.
So they go and we stay.
I open a few purely girl sets and crash and burn (they are all really down before i go in and i still don't know how to lift them up). The guy i am with is more of a chode than me and i've got to try demonstrating to him to just try and open. I'm the worst at this as i've only just started myself recently and there is now so much pressure from him.
Anyway, we muck about on the dance floor and now matter how much persuading i do he doesn't try one all night.
I start dancing with some really fit girls but they get dragged away immediately by some turks they are with, It looks like they are escorts but you can see that they both want to dance with me and keep starring at me! doh!
I spend the rest of the night bouncing round, chatting to different guys, taking the piss out of the turkish guys gay dancing (they all dance like homos). Then the end of the night, i sit down at the bar to finish my drink and see a really tall but very attractive girl at the bar handing over a suitcase in the corner. I make a comment and she starts chatting and then comes over, we chat some more and find out that she the podium dancer at the club, more chat and she introduces me to the DJ, more chat and she invites me to go to breakfast with them now, Whey i think, until....Gay turk appears out of nowhere, i'd been taking the piss out of his dancing and now wants to talk shit! he sits down and within 1 minute of talking to me he's started to creepily chat to the dancer and scared her off, what a C**T! but she leaves saying to find her back there tomorrow!
We go home after trying to get rid of the gay turkish guy for 30 mins!

Thursday

Nothing happens, we don't go out coz everyones too hungover and argumentative. Pussies! Upon reflection I should have gone on my own!

Friday

Another short one
Last night out, i go for a meal with my parents and arrange to meet everyone at 11 back at the hotel.
I get offered a lift to the hotel from the restaurant owner for free as we were good customers and I accept and my parents stay at the restaurant.
He gets one of his staff to drop me back at the hotel, who it turns out, has never driven in his life! I have to start the car and he tells me to drive it! No Way, i've had quite a few and am not being pulled over for this dick, anyway after teaching him the gears, how to put on a seat belt and stop slamming the brake on everytime he tries to slow down, we set off!
We get to the hotel somehow, after he's spent the whole journey in the middle of the road with his full beam on with cars coming at us!!!
The mood was a bit down when i get there so i get everyone playing drinking games and then we head into town via taxi! Back to the same 2 bars again but least i'll get more free drinks, i do and chat to the bar staff for a bit!
In a 5 minute span of standing at the bar, i manage to spill 3 different drinks at different times down some poor turks back so by him a drink!
I bounce around the club, dance with C19 for a bit then some other girls then isolate c19 for ages, more drinks, more dancing, then we leave.

Everyone takes ages to get back home so me and C19 go off ahead and then go back to mine, more of doing the deed and then we sleep for 2 hours as we have to pack to go home!
See her later and we exchange numbers and now she wants to meet up with me!

Reflection

First of all, thanks for reading this, it was too long so kind of kept the last few days as short as possible

1. I've never been in as good a state as Tuesday! I was the coolest mutherfucker in the world that night! I owned everywhere i went! I really need to find out how the hell i got into that state because that is how i need to be forever. This then progressed all the way over to the end of the holiday but i can feel it slowly dwindling away!

2. Have girls got dirtier now a days, it seems like every 19 year old i've met recently has been really open about their sexual doings and are filth compared to all the older girls i've been with, lol!

3. Sometimes i get stuck asking just logical questions, 1 after the other, after the other! I need to add statements to it or expand more! ideally i need to go to improv but until then, i need to work on expanding my stories and questioning!

4. I also need to keep opening everyone i see!

Thanks

James

i'm a bit hit and miss at the moment.

Sometimes i can have a great night. Other times i look like the biggest chode in the place.
I still need to open more and also work on getting a constant state and i still haven't got a 10 yet especially through my own doing but i'm getting there.

I went out with a mate yesterday for a beer and to watch the footy and he remarked on how i seem to be much more outgoing!

Every little step feels like I'm climbing a mountain and I am still miles from the top but with all the hard work and effort I'm putting in, I'm starting to feel the benefits

Your getting there and you know you can reach that state now. Don't expect to be like it all the time your only human after all and try not to concern with getting to this state just try to enjoy life you can't force a happy state.