Hi Guys,

I'm a lot more sociable now, even though I'm not getting laid (OK, the odd £35 for a whore, but I don't think that counts). Previously in the "community" there's always been a dichotomy between "AFCs" or "Chodes" and us "PUAs".

Think about it, would an average guy who gets laid some of the time, and is generally happy with his life, want to join the pick up community? Realistically, a lot of us who have joined do seem to have problems with getting women.

Many guys outside the community are better with women in general than guys who know about this stuff. They don't need to google "how do I get women"!

There are some main types of guys in this community.

Category 1) These guys have had some success, but are greedy bastards and want loads more - so are semi natural (K for example, and to some extend Swype)

2) Guys who have fucked up big time, making them slightly socially awkward and imbalanced when they first started (like me and Jeffy from RSD!)

So whats the lesson for the guys in the second category. As I mentioned in a previous post, the guys from category 1, you can teach them most techniques, it will take them a few weeks to perfect, then, they will have all the pussy they want.

For guys in category 2, I think the ultimate thing is to learn (or re-learn) how to be a normal, well adjusted guy. Once you're a normal, well adjusted guy, you're 90% of the way there. You can pull without techniques etc. These techniques will just be the icing on the cake. You just need to approach.

I admit I am one fucked up dude, but I'm better than I was a year ago, lets hope I get back to "normality". Sometimes in social situations I don't find it fun. I don't know why, just don't sometimes, or I need to be pretty fucked up on booze to make it more fun. That's a symptom of my maladjusted personality, but it has got a lot better for me since finding the community.

You may say I'm thinking too much. Yep, this certainly doesn't help, but I'm using Ekhart Tolles techniques to remedy that. I think this is just a symptom of an underlying problem. Some of you philosophers may say "but Mark, you haven't got a problem, you're making a mountain out of a mole hill". Maybe you're right. But I still get into situations where I don't know what to say and my mind goes blank, despite some of the improv techniques I've learned. Maybe again a symptom of an underlying inferiority complex I've had from year dot.

My plans at the moment are:
1) Get my finances sorted (so I can do more of my plans)
2) Experience more new things
3) Push my boundaries
4) Try to push the importance of getting women down my priority list
5) Approach women (see the paradoxical idea here?)

We'll see what happens in the next few months.

However, how do you know you are that socially adjusted, normal, cool guy? I think ultimately it's how you feel inside. If you feel you're having the time of your life in a social environment (with your friends, in a club) then you're nearly there. If you're getting laid at least once every 8 weeks by just approaching, you're probably there. Then pretty much any pickup technique will work.

So for guys in category 2 - the rules are a little different

1) Drop all pickup theory (radical I know)
2) Learn basic social skills (eye contact, having NORMAL conversations with people)
3) Learn to be cool ultimately, you need to feel good about yourself all the time. You may think playing the Cornet is cool. Some people won't. Fuck them. If you genuinely feel you're doing cool things and leading a happy life, you're there.
4) APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPRO ACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,A PPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROA CH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH,APPROACH, Go out speak to people, be social. If they reject you, fuck them, it's not your problem.
5) Get in the habit of touching women, hugging, giving pecks on the cheek and look to escalate physically (OK, this is probably the only pickup theory you need to be aware of, no more)

Have fun

He would say "Be cool"

Why would he know? He didnt even get to fuck Mary..

Mark, this is your epiphany. I've (and I to have also been guilty of this) heard you spout alot of bullshit, you've come to a conclusion and perhaps even a realisation.

'1) Drop all pickup theory (radical I know)' that is profound, and true.

You have a enough knowledge now to follow your own intuition, let that and that alone be your sole guide everything else is superfluous.

Fuck yeah! Use the force!

Nice Post Sapmi - cheers

Of course we do. That's why we're here. The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have a problem in the first place, and being honest with yourself about it. By virtue of being here, we've all taken that first step.

As has been said elsewhere, surely everyone who enters the community begins in Category 2. They improve and get better, and then find themselves in Category 1.

Lets not overuse those phrases though. The first person to utter the sentence 'He's a Cat 1 PUA' gets a slap from CO!

You don't have to have women as a high priority in order to approach more women.

You could, for example, walk everywhere thinking: 'I need a girl. That girl. Or that girl? What about that girl? I like that girl as well. Ok, lets approach that girl... Yep, that went ok. She was nice. Oooh, look at that other girl! And her friend! I really like her friend. Ok, lets approach her friend...'

Or you could walk everywhere thinking: 'What a lovely day. The shops aren't too busy today. I might make pasta carbonara for dinner. She's pretty, lets go say hi... Ye, that went ok. She was nice. Oooh, there's a concert in the park tomorrow. I wonder if CO would like to go and see some of the bands playing, hang on, I'll give him a ring...'

Its having the ability to switch off from women that is so valuable. I can't say I'm particularly good at this myself, something I'm working on. But you don't need to be constantly switched onto women in order to effectively approach them. Just be prepared to take the opportunity when it comes, and don't be consistently on the lookout for said opportunity.

100% spot on mate. Stick to this, and you won't go far wrong.

I especially like number 1...

LOL! I never thought of it quite like that...