about 3-4 months ago i gamed a spanish girl 9.5. In a small town, she's the coolest hottest girl here, totally open to sexual experiences, likes the same style, music, cloths, and we get on really great. She's up for open relationships and 3some's (although we havn't had one yet). We talk for hours. She told me a few times that i'm one of the sexiest guys she's ever met.

I don't have a huge amount of sexual experience, she does. I spent a lot of time researching sexual techniques. My problem was always that I came too quick, but by working out my pm muscles i could last much longer. Through practice, I had a multiple orgasm with her where i came, continued fucking here and came again without loosing my hard on. I can go down on her and give her a clit orgasm followed by a gspot orgasm, and then fuck her after this.

BUT here lyes the problem

About 3 weeks ago, we tried to have a quicky one morning and I couldn't get it up. It was the first time it ever happend me. So i put it down to already having 3 orgasm's the night before. Then, we were in a club one night, and she pulled me into the wheelchair bathroom to fuck. Again I couldn't get it up. We had a few more night of fucking but more and more consistently I couldn't get it up. Last night i couldn't get it up for the whole night. I gave her 5 orgasm's over the night but I didn't even have one myself. My dick just switched off. We're totally open about discussing it. I read the book Sex God Method. This explains that this problem is basically that you can't be anxious and get aroused at the same time and the solution is to relax and switch off your brain. But i was relaxed and still my dick was switched off. It just amazes me that this 9.5 girl that i like so much is on top of me grinding, and i can't for the life of me get it up... A totally crazy situation.

So now we're ending the whole thing because she thinks i'm not attracted to her and I'm not having any orgasm's.

Solutions without stupid comments please!!

thatt sux. quickly fix it somehow. I kno that I can only get it up wen I feel dominant, her feminine energy should trigger ur male energy. maybe things are too equal ops in ur relationship and maybe she instigates too much. try leading her more and being in control. that book any good?

She stayed here last night and this morning (after no orgasm last night) i got hard but didn't achieve orgasm to porn. Probably because my head is so fucked up and i'm thinking about it too much.

Alpha D- Sounds like number 2 is the problem. However, it does seem as though my sex drive is also gone down in the last few weeks. This is obviously linked to the fact that the whole situation is fucking with my head.

By the way, the book 'Sex God Method' is really good

Maybe i just need to time out with this girl and go on a fucking rampage and see if i have the same problem with other girls. Not what i want to do but there doesn't seem to be too many options.

More Deep seated. I think it's to do with the anxiety of not being able to get it up again.

Just as a matter of interest, how many orgasm's per week is a healthy amount for a guy? Like if a guy only jerks off once per week, he'd have a really low sex drive, if he jerk's off twice a day consistently, he would have a high sex drive. What's normal?

I think your right, i'm over thinking the performance thing. Whatever works, take it or leave it. Usually, when you can take the 'don't give a fuck' attitude, things work out.

I lost my mojo about this time last year for a few weeks. Got me some viagra & other herbal aphrodisiac's & used them for a while & they kick started my dick again

You should get some then you will have nothing to worry about.

It ain't? Who knew...

As for the OP's 'problem' I think it can happen for a bunch of reasons of course.

Just a suggestion, but anytime you 'can't' fuck her, just tell her with confidence and authority that you "won't". There's a BIG difference between 'won't' and 'can't'. Won't is sexy, can't isn't.

Make her wait for it and get worked up, build up the anticipation, that shit's as good as a full blown pounding to most girls anyway.

Get her off with your fingers/mouth just by talking to her or whatever, then leave her hanging and wanting more untill YOU are 'ready' to give her more. Make her slow down and be a 'good girl', it'll get her frustated in a good way and buy you the time to get going and catch up with her.

If you let it get to the point where she's sucking on Mr floppy regularly, then she might start have doubts about how attracted you are to her and those doubts can get harder and harder to deal with the longer they go on unchecked.

Personally I think it's (probably) just about taking control over the situation, so she's not in a position to spring sex on you at random times in ways that throw you off guard.

That's my 2 cents anyways for what they are worth.

Okay, the good news is that she's not threatening to leave you because of your performance, it's because she is worried that you are not attracted to her. Women's egos are a very fragile thing, even most 9s and 10s if you dig deep enough. She (as you said) now has a compèlex about you not being aroused by her.

Mediterranean girls and women have the same desires and insitincts as all women, however (I live in Italy), they are famous for their drama, temper tantrums and hysterical behaviour and this is not unwarranted to a certain extent (all women are capable of it, but it does tend to be a little more extreme out here).

With regards the erection, I think there's enough advice and suggestions above to keep you going.

With regards the Spanish HB, I think communication is the way foreward. In order to save this, and also to reassure her, she needs to know that nyou are physically attracted to her. So just speak very openly, tell her that you haven't had much practise fucking in public and in unique places and it's something a little new to you. Better that than lose her

no.... if i pull a proper tidy girl, first few times of fuckin her... i can get nervous & find keepin a hard on difficult