How much of a buzz word is Value in the community? With your DHV’s and the taking of value when you should be offering value.

What does it mean to have value or to offer value? You know value is both subjective and objective. We look for value (Reticular Activation system as I’m sure some of you are aware) in the external world but it doesn’t exist solely there. What one person finds of value is completely irrelevant to another person. It exists in both ourselves and the world around us.

A lot of where game goes wrong is people start make assumptions about what other people would consider of value. Hence you get M3 style DHV’s about shit you think people want to hear like being a leader of men or magic bullets designed to impress fanny. How you can possibly know what another human being who you just met holds dear in their life? How can you understand what drives them to be who they are? It is impossible and that’s what trying to live to the standards of others is one of the most futile & self defeating things you can do. As soon as you sacrifice what matters to you for the approval of others then you’re already playing a losing game.

In everything we do we seek that which is of higher value and quality and just as every person is unique, so is their idea of value.

There is only one true value for which you can understand and that is the things you yourself value, the things that mean shit to you in your life. The things you do as person every moment is a constant quest for attaining something of higher value or a withdraw from that which has negative value. You seek a more comfy chair to sit in than stand, thus sitting in a nice chair has higher value than standing. You avoid rooms that are on fire because they have negative value.

The problem is we don’t realise the values that we’re fulfilling are often unconscious. Want to go over to and chat up that hot girl but can’t overcome the AA? Well that’s because your conscious value of appreciating new women is not as strong a desire as your value of not making a tit of your self in public.

All the things you consider to be of value exist on a sliding scale within yourself; it changes in every single moment. The importance of some values rises and falls while new values take their place depending on what you’re doing in any given moment. To get good at anything you have to sacrifice a value you hold in order for another to take its place. That’s why what stops us achieving the things we want is our own self sabotage. We do this because we’re not ready to let go of something important in our lives even if we don’t know what that is.

One thing I believe we should all do is take a look at ourselves. Look at what we actually do day in day out look at ourselves objectively what values would a person had if they kept doing what we do. Because they are the values you have and if your not looking to change then their the ones your refusing to let go of. Once your aware of the values that you have you can hold them up to things you want. Will the price of valuing a lie in be worth the potential price looking good and working out in the morning? Will the value of looking like you know what your doing be worth the value that comes from taking risks?

Part of the reason I posted the A Perfect Day Thread from earlier is because if you do that little exercise then you’re a lot closer to understanding what you’re true values are. If you haven’t done that little exercise then stop reading right now and go fucking do it, you will not regret it.

Once you’re aware of the things you value and the things you actually desire then half your problems in life have just been solved. Now you’re going to go around wasting your life trying to get what you think will make you happy but wont, you won’t get sucked in trying to fulfil other people’s values at the cost of your own.

The only values that should matter to you are the ones you’ve picked for yourself.

How then do you go around giving value rather than taking it? Well to be frank you need to short your inner game out. You have to reach a point where you are happy with who you are and the life your living. You need to trust the world and trust yourself to take right action in it. You do this with your ability to exert control over certain aspects of yourself and your life.

I could write a huge article on this but i cba so I’ll quickly summarise.

You need to develop control of your rational thought. You need to make a conscious effort to be optimistic and see the good in the world and yourself. You have to reframe each situation into the positive and you have look at your mistakes as lessons for progress.

You need to control your emotions, you have to be able to feel each emotion but not be controlled by it. You need to recognise what your emotions are telling you and completely trust they are there to help. Your emotions are your greatest strength.

You also need to control your body; you need to be able to take right action even if your emotions aren’t initially helping. You need to be able to take conscious control to get shit done. Once you’ve got all of those three in alignment you’re on you way to being a superstar. You’ll find confidence taking care of itself because all that confidence is, is trusting you’ll take the right action in any situation. Your emotions will be there giving you direction on the goal you’ve consciously set. You’ve just picked yourself off the train tracks of life and you’re ready to start moving in your own direction.

Once your rational, emotional & physical needs are met you can now look internally for value rather than externally.

At this point this is where your virtues come into play. You know what you value in life and you know the kind values a person who naturally experiences them has. Now you need to take those values and express them in what ever moment you’re in.

You express yourself in the things you do. Value is one of those ineffable things, it can’t be found in the past or the future. It’s on the very edge of experience between anticipation and action. It can only be expressed when your in the present moment and your not concerned with what has happened before or what may happen. When you’re mindful you’re free to express yourself in what you do. Like the painter getting lost in his work. He channels the external through internal and so creates value.

This is what it is to be authentic. I used to have trouble grasping the true meaning of being authentic. I used to believe you can be anything you want to and even if doesn’t feel right you should still do it. But I’ve discovered that that’s not what being authentic is about. Being authentic is knowing what you want and being comfortable enough to go after it. You can show the world your values and it does not matter what any one may think of them. You’re living to your ideals and not those you think other people would approve of.

To those that didn’t read all of that, value is simply what you like.

Great article but I would dispute one thing:

It's not impossible, in fact the best cold readers out there make a living touting themselves as psychics when in fact they're just above average in reading the signs we all give to others about our ideals, what matters to us and what we hold as valuable.

I don't disagree with any of the rest of your post however, I think it's excellent, I just think this part is slightly wrong.

Oh and to this I would add only when you give value are able to grow value in yourself. I wish I could find an analogy for this but I can't. Taking value only diminishes you character while giving value just breeds more value.

You know what I'm saying?

Weird thing, just reading as a man thinketh by James Allen and I found the analogy I was looking for.

Corn comes from corn and nettles from nettles.