Erm yeh i think she was a lil shell shocked at first but i got her laughing after about 10mins dicking around and she just forgot about being shocked then (btw i wasnt shouting my head off at her or anything,just saying if ur gona stand there picking your nose grab that for me type thing).
I certainly wasnt overboard nor trying it on with her it was just an aww fuck it ill just give it a bit of a go type thing.
Agreed Al_phaD i wont make this my main focus ive bought some shaving blades today so that face fuzz is getting a bit of a trim and other areas im working on.
Thanks Phil i really appreciate the comment,since my last message i was a bit of a dick to a girl trying to sell me some shit in the street with a questionairre,i was just loudly shouting NO GO AWAY at her till she pissed off.I felt kinda bad for doing it but kinda good 2:S
I understand this Whistleblower im on "How to be an alpha male" and "RSD Blueprint as we speak so im not gona fully rely on the "being a dickhead" technique,although thumbs up so far.Tbh im still flailing in the dark a bit and so im just having a go at stuff suggested till something clicks.Just right now i kinda get what Phil is suggesting as hard as i feel it is to do.Ive always been a doormat to women it doesnt work and im desperate to get away from that!!
Whistleblower please if you have any other methods and suggestions do throw your money in the pot.Id love to hear what works for you.

I kind of agree with what Phil is saying, I am sure that you are not stupid and will approach that type of technique with caution. Just dont forget who you are!

Above all I think you need to just become the happy, self-confident guy that girls are ultimately attracted to. I would start by sorting out your relationship, it may not be easy but if you leave it will become probably the biggest barrier to ever achieving your goals. After that you can start approaching girls with the intention of closing, maybe building a relationship and all that jazz. Until you end that relationship, you cant really go forward with all this.

I certainly wont ever forget who i am and where im from trust me!!,the aim is still be a me but better me right,like a go fasta lovefish
You are right thats what i would kill to be,a happy,self-confident guy that girls are attracted to.Right now that kinda thing feels like a million miles away:S
I will sort out my relationship its just gona take a lil time to get things in place to be able to do that,ive got to get my car back,bug my dad for a deposit,sort all my tons of shit out ive got in this house,find a place to live,break the news to her,im hoping ill be out by the end of july/start of august.But i do agree i cant move forward until i do get this all sorted out.

Hey Lovefish.

I swear to God, this time next year you are going to laugh your ass off about you we're feeling now, what you looked like now and what you we're doing now.

I've re-invented myself a few times now, it's awesome fun. And all those cool people I thought I'd become I already laugh about now. It's growth man, you've just started.

I'm 37, I promise you there will *always* be women. When there no longer are any I'll come back and tell you all but you've got at least 8 years yet. Go get 'em trooper.

Cheers Electrollux
I hope i will be,this is just my starting point and where im at now i know im not alone and most on here have been where i am at some point in their lives or they wouldnt be on this forum in the first place right!!
With a bit of help,guidance and a lot of willingness i hope to move forward from this point.
I realize now it was stupid worrying about my age,i think it was more a wtf im nearly 30 and what have i done with my life kinda moment.
Roll on a years time

No one likess a dick head though lol.

It's more about being self assured in self control and not accepting second best. Not about being a dick to people.

Ok i see there is a few people now that think the dickhead direction might not be the best including my natural m8.I actually told him about what was suggested on the forum including having a go at being a dickhead for a few months this was the message he sent to me.


"I don't agree. You do need to learn not to give a shit, that's true, but you don't need to be an arsehole.

Here's my advice (if you choose to take it) all the shit that's built up over the years, the putdowns, the uncertaintys, etc, etc... You need to realise that people only do this to you because of their own issues. It's a fact, even if they don't realise it themselves.

You don't need to put on a front over all this shit that's built up, you need to get rid of the stuff that's built up and be happy with who you are first.

Then realise that if you put girls off, it really doesn't matter because there's millions of 'em!!

Finally, I find the standards thing works well. For example... "I can't stand these girls who ruin themselves with hard drugs every weekend.. But I don't think you're like that, are you?"

Nobody wants to say yes, so they start trying to suit your standards which leads onto trying to prove themselves or trying to impress.


It's about dominance. Coming out on top of a situation, coming across better in one way or another than the guys around you.

The PUA who said to be an arsehole, probably lives in a city.If you do it in Kettering, then people will quickly catch on and say "Don't speak to him, he offended my sisters mates cousins brothers neice!"

The ideal rule - don't be overly nice and try to live up to their standards. They need to live up to your standards. If you like something, then you can compliment them, but in an "I approve" kinda way".

Sounds like pretty good advice to me anyways.
The problem im currently having in my head is i am here now,obviously not where i want to be and over there is confidence,self control and not accepting second best me!!
How did you guys get the balls up to get to that point??is it a fake it to make it type thing??plus how do i rid myself of these hangups,by doing as Al_phaD suggested and start taking care of myself and sorting shit out??
Sorry if this is all goboldy gook today my heads been a bit all over the place today

This is a very interesting thread and not for the reasons you might think it is.

no offence to ur mate, what he says is true in a essence, but telling someone

just stop being assed ... RIGHT DO IT NOW, STOP BEING ASSED GO, GO

its easy to say from him coz its who he is, but to tell you "YOU NEED TO BE DOMINANT, BE DOMINANT NO GO GO"

its crap, if it was that easy, people would all be so... the reason i tell u to be a dickhead for a month, (NOT INDEFINITELY, EVERYONE NEEDS TO REALISE THIS IS A SHORT TERM LESSON & NOT A CHANGE)

you do this so u can understand what people like me understand... unless you experience it, you cant understand.

so next time u see ur mate, say to him... DO A MAGIC TRICK, Thats all u need to do, make urself dissapear now & ill give u a million quid.

people on this forum are forever sayin

Be yourself

Be confident

Dont care etc,

easy for them to say as that is wer they are, but what if your not any of the above, u must learn how to be one of the above.

look, do me a favour im not gonna say it again, 4 nights out, keep bein a prick, with a big smile, and just say whatever pops into ur head... dont apologise for it, just look for the funny side,

then in 4 weeks... message me & let me know wer u are...and you can go back to being kind & sweet... with a side to u however people wont cross

but in my opinion, the advice... RIGHT JUST CHANGE RIGHT NOW!!! GO ON DO IT... is crap & condescending.


and regards to living in kettering, if the close knit community is an issue, make some trips somewer u wont be seen again

Love fish check this link out.
Four stages of competence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

You're at the Conscious Incompetent stage. Your friend giving you the advice and some people on here are at Unconscious Competent (AKA natural).
Okay how do you get to the next stage Conscious Competent?

To learn anything new you need to experience it. Phil is just pushing you into experiencing things. You need experiences as references point to change.
Think about when you learned to drive (assuming you can). You didn't just become Conscious Competent overnight, It took a lot of practice and experience.

If you can take the piss out of girls like you do your mates it shows you’re not treating them as super humans.

Anyway changing your behaviour can be difficult if you have limiting beliefs about yourself which Phil hit upon. You really must address these as well as trying knew experiences to modify your behaviour.

First write down all your beliefs about yourself. Then for the negatives ones find evidence to back them up. When I did this I realised some of the excuses I made for my limiting beliefs were stupid.

So to summarise, my advice:
1. Challenge your limiting beliefs.
2. Practice, Practice & practice being social and enjoying yourself.

This is how I'm approaching things and it seems to be working for me, although I'm hardly a MPUA even a PUA. I'm just me.

Mark