Phil's right... this isn't really a pickup artist forum. And usually when a member here tries to lean that way, they get bitchslapped around and straighten out pretty quickly.
Or they leave.

You should really appreciate this place; there's few places that will help set you straight and get you to knock of the acts.

It's not easy admitting you're fucked in the way you were raised, and then starting from the ground up again and rebuilding yourself... but it's so worth it.

It's slow, and it has no alignment with our society's current addiction to quick fixes or easy band-aid solutions, so don't think this will happen overnight. I tend to think of it as a constantly ongoing process that sometimes slows, stops, and even goes in reverse... but is pretty consistently making me quality of life steadily increase, and me a much happier, less anxious person.

It's a lifetime investment, rather than just a skill set (like pua for picking up drunk girls with tricks) that would set you up for being lonely and alone in 15-20 years...