I was jealous because I had pulled her night before and because I fancied her. Slight damaged ego too. Clearly misread how keen she was on me.

Time tends to heal wounds pretty quick, you're right about that.

Said it before about neediness, is one of the most unattractive traits a person can have.

Man up!

Jealousy doesn't have to be a negative emotion, it all depends how you look at it Its not about how you react external that really matters for you, its how you feel about it internally that matters for you. Otherwise you are merely putting on a show for the hole world, this isn't you.

AJay

True AJay. In order to be a well rounded individual you have to experience all emotions, preferably in abundance, preferably on the full scale of all things. The person who goes around all day 'loving' everyone, in the end, has no love for anyone, because it becomes their natural mental state. There is no proper way to express to those closest what they mean to them, because there's no way to differentiate their love with those of the everyday person. It's all the same shade of grey. To be human, you need all emotions, all ranges, all intensities. All colors to properly paint the map of your emotional life with, and that includes jealousy.

You have a natural investment in her, and you natural tendency is to protect what is yours. We all have a constant battle back and forth between the Id (our caveman us) and ego. Jealousy as it is is a natural phenomenon and should be embraced in a lot of things. Jealousy (envy, greed) is a natural driving force that pushes us to move beyond our limits, to strive for better and more, and to protect what we have. Jealousy helps fulfill the ego through pride and vanity in what we have achieved. It makes us into happy, healthy humans, with fully developed mental and emotional states that allow us to properly interact and thrive in our environment. But this jealousy should only be in certain areas of our lives, and controlled in others.

Occasionally jealously leaks out into things that it shouldn't, or in ways that are unacceptable. When we're young and inexperienced (especially with relationships), we're don't have past experiences to fall back on for how to react to certain situations (e.g. another guy talking to your girl at a party), and we fall back on the natural (id) programming inside us to make those choices (which are usually incorrect for modern times, e.g. percieving this guy as a threat and arguing with her later), or we model or behavior on other people we look up to (friends, family, or now adays movie actors, and as we've talked about a lot of modern movies are written completely backasawards for seduction). The society in which we live (and especially the contemporary dating ritual) is built upon artificial social biases and rules compounded throughout the ages by our parents parents; rules that are ancestors didn't have to deal with. (I could go into a lot of details about why this is the way it is, but my post could easily triple in length). So its no question why when we have no past experiences with dating that we often react in the wrong way... our natural instincts are running off of Human OS v.1.0, and society expects us to be on Human v5000.0.

So without each of us having that background of past relationship fuckups, or without information gained through other peoples' zeitgeist (older brothers, dating books, these forums), we're likely to screw up... or feel jealous for stupid shit. But even you're really good (you phil), you're still human and therefor susceptible to these basic human emotions leaking through.

...

I guess I don't know where I'm going with this, probably was just a bunch of new connections being made in my head that had to come out (mixing philosophy, religion, economics, entrepreneurship, dating, anthropology and a bunch of other shit I've been reading lately).

Lol i actually bothered to read the whole post you made. Usually I don't bother reading posts if they are more than 1 paragraph long. I try not to make posts which are more than one paragraph long also; I like to keep it short and simple. I will save all the lengthy paragraphs for my book. Anyway I really like how your brain works Lucifer, in relation to mine. I think however a lot of what is preached by people like us is sometimes wasted as a lot of men cannot comprehend it fully.

AJay

You can control your emotion. i now react less to things as i grow

and whilst a spat of jealousy did appear i laffed & shrugged it off! nothing has changed.

i have narrowed situations where negative emotion arises & learned to shrug away others.

and in time.. they will become less and less !

ye, why not, just do stuff with ur mates for a few evenings.

if you live with a girl u should be having your own space anyway! so this wont appear out of the ordinary

if your fucked internatlly YOUR FUCKED INTERNALLY, she is probably not thinkin anythin is diff.

shit like tha is in ur own head

How did you get to this point? I'm feeling even more cut up about Saturday now. Mainly because it has dawned on me what a tool I looked and now everyone on island knows so I'm constantly reminded about it. Kind of embarrassing. Logically I realise I shouldn't care about this very minor thing that has happened, but my fragile ego has taken a beating. Man up - yes I need to, but how?

You need an ego boost! Have some pride in yourself! You're doing what few people do, but everyone wants to! You're taking the chances, the risks, and saying 'fuck it' to the norm that society wants you to stick to one partner. Rub what you're doing in their faces (not literally, but mentally). Be proud of who you are, and what you're doing.

Because secretly, they're jealous. Girls want you, and guys and they see you as a threat to their island ways. Thats why they talk. Any publicity is better than no publicity.

Not sure if people are jealous - I got publically rejected by the one girl I was actually really into. Also I hate it when I pull a girl and don't seal the deal! Such a waste. Hasn't happened in quite a while that. Regardless, appreciate the pep talk still!

just laff about it, whats the problem, everyone gets blown out. pua has dont to u what it does to most

made u feel u have to win every single time

let it go, ur not dead r u