Ok , I'm going to do this in point form to get across as many details as I can,

Basic situation: I've picked up this girl a few times now, she is ok , but i really don't like her more then a friend, and I wanna tone it down without her 'getting wise' or angry at me.

Few notes.
Stated I didn't want a relationship from day one. She did too , but its obvious she really likes me and would jump at the chance to be my gf.

She is my EX's really good friend, My Ex does not know, and I'd rather she didn't find out (Hence, don't want her mad or 'getting wise' at me )

I've realized now my main motivation for getting with her was to pretty much rub it in my exs face. feel like a total donk now.

What I've been doing:

Not really initating contact for the past little bit, always friendly just not going after her to talk to her,

Slower and slower txt responcese ,

Trying to just laugh if she mentions sex or anything, shrug it off as 'cute'


Think thats it.

So , any tips for this type of situation ??

Be honest. Explain the situation, explain your mistakes in the situation, be sincerely sorry and acknowledge her feelings.

From a respect and ethical view that's what you should do, if practicality is your thing then put it this way: When you're sincere, honest and respectful to other people they're far more likely to be the same to you. If you play games with this then you're playing with fire, people are more likely to play their own little games. Social drama and bullshit flares up and suddenly something that could have easily been played down with a little honesty and humility becomes a ridiculous piece of typical soap drama.

I agree with Jay, and will also note:

Stop giving a fuck about what your ex thinks or knows. You're entitled to move on with whoever you want.

Also, stop giving a fuck what this girl thinks as well. Start caring about yourself.

Just let it die off and back away from her, and if she gets mad and tells your ex or some shit, then lets be honest, you're better off without her anyways (and also, what's your ex guna do? It's not like you've fucked the girl (or have you?) ).

Thanks for the tips guys, I find it hard to type all this shit out , much better speaker ,


I'm trying to keep this short so i dont ramble and make it hard to read, ill try and give a few more details.

We haven't gotten to the point of having that talk yet, but when it does I'll be honest and all that jazz, pretty good with that stuff, was just wondering if there was another way to play this ,

Yes i fucked her, wish i didn't..

I really dont wanna call her up and be like , look we need to talk , and spit all this BS on her, its just the general feeling im getting from her is that she wants more and im worried that once she figures out I don't have anything to give her she might be pissed (You're right, if she is pissed, fuck her, i know, i just wanna avoid it if possible). I'm going to just try and let this fade out , we are by no means even dating , we just fucked a few times

The ex and me have a fucked up past.. long story short, i was head over fucking heals for this girl and she cheated on me , fucked me up pretty bad , took a long long time to recover.

Now that I have, I'm 110% a better person and am very happy it happened. I've used it to grow personally and physically, and am so so appreciative of it , it changed me forever.

Why do I care what my ex thinks ? I've typed it out 3 times now and it sounds pretty bad , but she misses me and I loveee it . I know that she feels bad for what she did to me , and I'd like to keep it that way.

Since breaking up, I've banged both her roommates and now her really good friend, I'm 99.9999% sure none of them said shit to her. (Ex wrote me not too long ago after 1 1/2 no contact and said all this crap, i miss you , im sorry, bla bla bla ,) .


Man even re-reading this I'm thinking to myself "You're a horrible person.." ..


I'm rambling now, just gonna end it here.

A plate spinner can't spin plates forever, eventually he tires out and they fall or a gust of wind comes along to ruin the day.

All of this will come around at some point. Do not expect or believe that you can keep any of this 100% away from her forever. Your plates are already wobbling.

I'm abit speechless on this thread after reading all that. Not because I'm shocked, it's just that it all seems like way too much drama, go for the simplistic view on life..

If you're confronted on what's happening with you and her, then tell her you're staying single and apologize if you have led her on but you want to keep her as a friend in your life..

If your ex does find out, like you rightly said, fuck her.
If anything, get the ex out of your life completely. It NEVER helps (in my opinion)

There's always gonna be peeps who don't like you get over it.

Something interesting I recently read...

If somebody doesn't like you, it's not going to affect your life (unless if they go out of the way to hurt you I guess?)