HI ALL- I should say that I am a late 30s male very new to all this. I found it through a friend who has all the DeAngelo tapes etc. Cost him hundreds but its very interesting. Anyway, I haven't been in a relationship, or even interested in one for a few years now after a bad break up. Never had been one for dating as I was a late starter at 17 and took me a while to get the hang of things. Though I have had a few relationships, two long term, and half a dozen one night stands.
Anyway, recently I started taking control of my life. Joined the gym, took up Salsa, started writing. Took time off work for myself. Now I would like, just for even a year or two, to finally be succesful at picking up women.
So I tried the advice from my Mate. I tried making talk with 3 women in one afternoon. All sucessful. Tried giving compliments. Again all good. People have commented on how well I look thanks to gym, swimming and grooming.
Then this Saturday I was out with some mates. My favourite club, dressed well, felt fine, looked good and friends there.
AND I COULD NOT MAKE A SINGLE APPROACH- NOT ONE! I JUST COULDNT DO IT!

So I ask is this normal at an early stage- to just freeze? Am I just too old for it or do I need to go back a bit to the askingn advice that worked so well on the streets of Glasgow?

AS I am very new to this I would really appreciate any insight. Thanks.

Your not alone, im in my mid 20's & i have bother talking to really hot women, even though i've had sex with almost 50 girls before i discovered pick-up! The fucked up thing is, it really shouldent be a problem for me because i can generally have 99% of people laughing their heads off well within 10 minutes of meeting me, so for me personally i think it is that because i know that im going to be using techniques etc rather than being my genuine funny self from the start, puts certain doubts in my mind that fuck with my head.....but practice makes perfect so keep at it

Very relevant and timely for me right now. Exactly what I needed to read. Cheers.

I do better when I'm not thinking about approaching. Once you talk to a few peeps you start a momentum.

Go on Kowalski say it!

Hmmmmmm HELP YOU I WILL!

There are ways you can make opening really low pressure if you're having trouble. Go into a packed place, situate yourself v closely next to some girls, chat with mates for 5mins to settle-in, then ask them a really simple opinion opener, then leave. Don't even worry about following up, just leave.

This is about the lowest pressure it can be:- you're in a social environment, you're standing next to them and you need a quick opinion, once you have it you're leaving.

Then, once you are happy doing this, try and extend the interaction.

I had / have mega AA, so know what I'm talking about.

But in the early stages if you've not done much cold approaching before it may be VERY uncomfortable pushing yourself way out of your comfort zone. The others are right though, ultimately you have to act and 'just do it'.

I hope at some point the anxiety dies down completely. I'll have stretches with none and feel like I've got it all worked out, then I'll inexplicably freak out as happened last weekend and feel like I'm at square 1 again. I suppose ups and downs are part of it, as the beliefs fight the actions, it's an inner game thing of some sort.

PS

Postscript you having state problems perhaps? Even the best PUAs do warmups to help get them sociable and loosen up.

Really simple way to get over it, buy/borrow/torrent "Rules of the Game" - Neil Strauss. Its a day by day program that lasts a month and seriously works at getting over newbie approach anxiety IF you follow it.

For me anxiety never went away, I have however learned to enjoy the thrill of just walking up to a girl knowing I'm gonna walk away with a good rejection story or her number....

Yeah, it is a state problem. I'm off to a hypnotist for a few sessions to look at my beliefs, failing which I'm going to get creative and sabotage my usual little methods to see if i can grow through it. It's got to be a belief thing, when I'm getting the look, or can read a vibe, I'm golden. When it's an uber hot model type who is ignoring me, I'm not fine. We shall see.

PS