Getting played quite often - PUA Forums - The UK's Leading Pick-up Artist Forum

Dark Horse · **Getting played quite often -** 28-05-2011, 02:52 AM

I've had about 8 different girls play me in the past month or so.
Apart from those 8, I've had a few other girls not phone me back as well.

I won't go into each situation. But one thing I think I'm neglecting is comfort/rapport. I keep thinking why is it so important? How much of this is needed before she is atleast comfortable enough to meet up with me?

Are phone and facebook conversation good for building comfort? I'd rather not do this becuase I hate talking on the phone and facebook...welll...it's not the same, you have more time to calculate your responses online and people know this, so any effect when trying to get rapport is probably "watered down".

This used to be something I was good at. Conversation, rapport and comfort. But since I started focusing on flirting and humour I've become shit at it.

daleinthedark · 28-05-2011, 07:16 AM

DH, to me this doesn't sound like a comfort or rapport issue, but is probably related to attraction and control.

Firstly you have to build attraction by showing her that you have value (that you are fun and socially proof yourself) and that you aren't dependent on the outcome of your chat with her, whether she says yes or no. It sounds backwards but the less you give a shi*t, the more she will. Just don't mistake not being fussed with being arrogant.

Secondly take control, if you're getting IOIs don't ask her whether she wants a drink, ask her what she's doing on Monday/Tuesday evening? then when she says nothing say, "good, I know a great pub/cafe/bar/ice-rink that you would love, see you there at 8?"
People are more likely to be free at the start of the week and you're taking control and letting her know that you are the man

Dark Horse · 28-05-2011, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daleinthedark

DH, to me this doesn't sound like a comfort or rapport issue, but is probably related to attraction and control.

Firstly you have to build attraction by showing her that you have value (that you are fun and socially proof yourself) and that you aren't dependent on the outcome of your chat with her, whether she says yes or no. It sounds backwards but the less you give a shi*t, the more she will. Just don't mistake not being fussed with being arrogant.

Secondly take control, if you're getting IOIs don't ask her whether she wants a drink, ask her what she's doing on Monday/Tuesday evening? then when she says nothing say, "good, I know a great pub/cafe/bar/ice-rink that you would love, see you there at 8?"
People are more likely to be free at the start of the week and you're taking control and letting her know that you are the man

The attraction issue makes sense. I've been a little "try hard" lately. I often feel like I'm forcing everything and it's not "fluid."
It's like how you mentioned being too arrogant. Sometimes I am. I overdo the cockiness and I've been friend zoned for this.

Knave · 28-05-2011, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dark Horse

I've had about 8 different girls play me in the past month or so.
Apart from those 8, I've had a few other girls not phone me back as well.

I won't go into each situation. But one thing I think I'm neglecting is comfort/rapport. I keep thinking why is it so important? How much of this is needed before she is atleast comfortable enough to meet up with me?

Are phone and facebook conversation good for building comfort? I'd rather not do this becuase I hate talking on the phone and facebook...welll...it's not the same, you have more time to calculate your responses online and people know this, so any effect when trying to get rapport is probably "watered down".

This used to be something I was good at. Conversation, rapport and comfort. But since I started focusing on flirting and humour I've become shit at it.

If this is an attempt a peacocking its failing miserbly, can you show some comfort/rapport with your fellow man and change the font.

Dark Horse · 28-05-2011, 11:25 AM

Lol.

Fine then.

aofelix · 28-05-2011, 11:28 AM

your change of font is almost as annoying as this guy who always says at the end of his posts

peace,

kowalski