Next move?

[Aces]

I'm an English guy living in China, she is a Chinese girl. Met online, I quickly got her number. New to the pua thing, very very new so I've made a lot of mistakes already. Here's a quick review.

She's easily an 8, pushing for 9. Succesful in career, loves her job, friendly, knows she's top quality pussy. I've shown little interest attraction-wise apart from make her qualify herself to me occasionally.

1st date - 2 hours, Coffee date, DHV'd, did some cocky funny stuff, got female to male attraction. She looked disappointed when I said I needed to go home for work reasons.

2nd date - 60-90 mins, Another coffee date, I said the following,
"I'm new to Shanghai and don't want a girlfriend until I feel settled so just looking for friends atm."
Got this from DeAngelo and it rocked her a bit, she became a little pissed off and made a powerplay to end the date abruptly as we walked away from the coffee house.

3rd date - 3 hours, Zoo. Fun date, I said she looked like an Emu, then a Lion. There was playful kino and she made what I guess could be another power play. She took a phone call and said she had to get home to send a work related email. I felt at this point we're into comfort but i've not had a kiss close yet....so we're still in attraction...?

4th date - Sucked ass, I wanted to go to a theme park and go on some rides but she wanted to go to some quiet park where families walk around looking at water and tree's. We walked around the park for over an hour. It had been a few weeks since the zoo and I felt lost between attraction and comfort. I felt at one point I should have held her hand but pussed out like a weiny little puss-clown coz she was walking ahead so I'm approaching from behind her. Sounds like I'm making excuses, probably am. I pussed out. She deliberately fell on me in the taxi, I tickled her gently for a few seconds before removing her from touching me, then started with more playful kino.

5th date - Happened to read the Mystery Method beforehand and nailed it. Got female to male attraction up, escalated kino with a foot massage, got the doey eyed love looks from her where I should have kissed her but I was sat at the bottom of a sloped plank of wood lol and figured it could have ended as a potentially awkward first kiss. Even without the kiss close it went well.

6th date - The reason I'm posting here today. Almost feel like I'm back to square one. We had a nice day walking around local parks, playful kino and stuff but there was no doey-eyedness or kiss close opportunities and there were A LOT of shit tests. I mean they're coming by the bucketful now. It's a bit annoying. However she said, "Wo hen kai xing" at the end which means she had fun, is happy etc.

But this week she's been away on a business trip and instead of texting her mid-week I sent a message through the online site we met on because I thought it'd be different and I was bored at the time. Her answer was sort of official sounding, finishing with, "have a nice day, ****"

The stars are her name.

There's been no text messages this week and we didn't arrange to meet this weekend just gone (though that's happened a few times so it's ok)

Anyhoo guys, I'm wandering about the next date. I was thinking the theme park maybe? I need the kiss close soon though coz I'm worried about it getting stale. I've already shagged some random ugly Chinese girl so I know that it's similar to the western world over here. I don't want it to stale out.

If you have any help, suggestions...or more questions...I would appreciate it.

[legend]

Hey mate. Welcome to the forum.
Reading your post, I think you just over analyse the whole situation especially on the dates. Example: You waiting to get from attraction to comfort before you going for a kiss or even holding her hands. Don't wait for the "doey eyed look", when you walking together, just grab her hands, make it natural. Same when you go for a kiss. In the many dates I have been, there's never an opportune time to kiss a girl. If she likes you, and she's having fun, she would welcome a kiss from you. As I said, don't over analyse the whole situation....! And why would you go on the online site and message her? She probably think you still looking to meet other girls when you have her. Hence, the abrupt reply. She's not stupid. Keep us posted.

[Refl3x]

I think you need to read up on cultural differences. From what i remember the chinese are fairly different to westerners.
I think if you approach like a westerner in wild wild west mode you will get blown straight out the water.

Chinese are very very traditional and racist so you need to initialy establish where this interaction is going:

You need to estblish wether she sees you as a bit of a fling (unlikely, mega frowned upon) or wether she wants somthing long term and could potentially take you to see her family (know what you want too)

If its a fling she wants then you can bend the rules a bit more but you still need to stay respectful

If she wants somthing long term then you seriously have your work cut out for you

Taking her on thrill seeking dates like the fair ground etc wont be her idea of fun, its frowned upon in chinese culture to be 'standing' out they prefer to blend into the crowd

from a dating point of view i am interested in other cultures in fact i prefer other cultures to western girls

Chinese i scare and have never been successful with because with muscles/shaved head i scare them and with me they stand out

Put this one down to experience--dont worry about ut too much because you look to have failed already.

on the plus side because you so obviously stand out in china, go to some Bars that westerners frequent, there you will meet westernised chinese girls that you will have much better chances with.

a good friend of mine lived in Shanghai for a few years working as a teacher, she said it was proved fact that chinses guys do definately have smaller willys than western guys.

WIN

[PostScript]

I was just thinking this must be cultural, it all sounds so formal and stifled. Which implies natural game aint gonna fly, in which in turn sounds like a right pain in the arse. I would say however that people are people and 6 dates with no escalation is going to piss her off, all that pussyfooting around. I would also say that people have long worked out that you can override mystery method type structures by assuming states rather than trying to mechanically create them. Assume attraction. The general rule is that being a foreigner adds a bit of value, maybe that doesn't apply in China, I don't know. Would be interesting to read a bit more about game in China and how it differs.

PS

[Aces]

Legend - Bang on mate, I'm always being told I over-analyse things in general so women/dates etc...seems like more of the same. As for the online site message...i've let her know that I'm dating other women and have even suggested to her that she should date other men. I'm trying to come across as laid back about the whole dating affair...not sure if this is a good idea atm.

Refl3x - Funnily enough this is one of the reasons I'm attracted to her. I've coffee dated maybe 5-6 women and she's the only one I've seen twice. Most Chinese girls live with their parents until a man can provide for them...then they move out. Her family live in Beijing, she has moved to Shanghai on her own and is presumably accepting of westerners as potential lovers.

She wants long term.

It's a shame that it's failed already. I just figured to take it more slowly than a western girl until rapport and understanding, comfort etc was there. Damn it!!

Postscript - I agree because it even feels stifled. I have tried to escalate with slightly more affectionate kino (before the foot massage doey-eyed thing) and again tried to move in for a kiss after only spending 5 minutes with her and her being in an unhappy mood prior to meeting me (stupid time to try and kiss) I'm new to pua and feel like a right noob looking back at these mistakes.

Seriously guys thank you for the responses and i'll keep you updated. I'm planning on making no contact for a few weeks and waiting for her to text (on the assumption she'll have thought of me and want to see me) then i'll take her for a meal (formal datey type thing) and make a move after. If it doesn't fly then I'll have to call it a day.

I'm taking a Latvian girl I work with to the zoo this weekend so we'll have a gander at Eastern European game prospects too

[Refl3x]

Well if you ahve a spare room i`ll come and stay over with you for 10 days, id like to get down there and have a play.

You could look at this from another point of view---forget everything and just be yourself, if they dont like you for you then tough shit

[Refl3x]

txt her and ask if she can show you some tai chi or qi gong ask if she can show you the beuty of her culture.

From doing these you might just not only pick up her interest but actually learn a fantastic medatitive and healthy series of exercises

[nova]

I don't see the cultural thing as an issue here at all chaps, she doesn't. This is yet more over-analysis. The only issue we have here is you not taking action when you know you should have. You know for a fact you should have kissed her.

[Maxemillion]

Probably should have kissed her by date three...

[AJay]

lol just nob her already