We want pre-nup! We want pre-nup!

[PostScript]

What do you guys think about this?

I see a trend amongst my male friends and family, of stumbling blindly through their love lives and ending up financially neutered by the divorce/break up. Whilst the kids must be protected, it seems the wives become savage and the courts lean their way more than would seem balanced.

So what to do? I have no intention of getting married in the near future, if at all frankly, but eventually I will want to settle down with one girl. I suppose part of the value of self development is that you gain a certain wisdom about types of people that you involve yourself with, rather than trusting in "fate".

Any guys on here who suffered this and ended up studying pickup? Would be interesting to know your take on it in retrospect. I don’t want to get so cynical I shut the right girl out and it's not like I'm a squillionairre, but on the other hand I’ll be fucked if I’ll jeopardise the stability I’ve worked my bollocks off to create over the last decade.

PS

[legend]

I never got married thinking it would fail, I'm always optimistic. So pre-nup was not in my agenda when I tied the knot 14 years ago. To be honest, I never even heard that word. But even if i did and it was rampant then, I would still not sign a pre-nup. It never came into the equation. I think it is really depends on the girl. My ex-wife was my best friend. I knew her in and out. So I never thought she would screw me financially. Rolled forward 10 years later, we got divorced but I was right about her! She didnt screw me financially. She didnt touch my pension. She had 60% of the house equity in return. I still manage to buy my own place and my own car and still able to go out socially. I pay maintenance for my 3 kids and as far I know, I havent met any dad who pays more maintenance than what I pay for each one of them. But I know the money is for them directly for now and for the future. But I know many other divorced men who are not as lucky as I am. Some are in financial ruins. Depressed. Etc. Dont think anyone can tell you what to do and what not to do, certainly not in a forum like this....!!!

[PostScript]

Cheers for that. The title was a little facetious from a song lyric, and I wouldn't take legal advice on here. Pre-nups are not even legally binding in the UK I believe.

I just think it's an alarming trend. I have one mate whose wife got the house, extensive maintenance and half the business. She contributed nothing other than being a housewife and thus liberating him to achieve things. He's now living in a tiny little place and running to keep his head above water. Another mate split from his girlfriend, there is a child involved, left his home and is paying for his ex and child to live there plus their maintenance plus his own living costs and rental. Yet another was duped into the relationship by some creative birth control by his ex, the divorce ended similarly to the first mate, and now she's moved some new bloke into my mate's old house as their love nest!

It's everywhere these days. I just think the courts have got the bias slightly wrong here, it's going to end up affecting trends of commitment in society.

PS

[chops147]

the trouble with marriage is even if you know the person really well people change over time. the person you marry today is not the person you divorce tomorrow.marriage is good if she's from a different country and you want to be together but immigration peeps are a problem. In some countries you can be subject to a "common law marriage" but thankfully not the uk.
If you get a Thai bride do not under any circumstances purchase property. under Thai law only Thai people can own property so she gets it by default

[RLAJay]

I'm not a fan of marriage at all. I think it's an antiquated tradition that doesn't need to be carried out. It seems to me like a lot of people get married due to insecurity, under some pretense that it solidifies the love they have. If you're happy with your relationship why get married? Besides the tax benefits =P

I've got nothing against people that get married, it's just not for me.

[Status]

Do what I'm doing. Resist marage and date for 10 years. If you're still strong after 10 years together and 2 kids the odds are in your favour.

[PostScript]

Originally Posted by Tw1sted

Do what I'm doing. Resist marage and date for 10 years. If you're still strong after 10 years together and 2 kids the odds are in your favour.

Worked for Ma and Pa Larkin! God I'm getting old.

PS

[Refl3x]

There is such a thing as a comonlaw wife -- no marrage there and legal entitlement to your 'stuff'

Also you guys are acting like its her fault
people change, you learn from mistakes, somtimes they are big mistakes and you cant go back and have to start again.