So my mate knows about pua, but he is wifed off etc, he is a very smart guy who said somethin which made me think

"you approach girls without fear, and thats cool for your lifestyle however, you miss the general human dynamic of both bein scared to speak to eachother... and findin out u like eachother slowly.. then doin the date really nervous which is the time where i find most relationships & passion for you both are built. You skip the first 3 months in 20 mins and have a girl that comfortable... then u miss what i feel was an important building block in general connection"

Hmmmmm this is very true, i remember when i was younger this SHYNESS before between u both...

the control we have completely negates this, for me anyway.

Just thought it was interesting wat he said

Any views??

Depends what you're after.

A shag - kick the doors off the hinges and use "phil technique"

Long term relationship - it might have a more solid foundation if you take that extra (exciting) time to get to know each other.

The trouble with getting older (i'm 29) is that opportunities to get to know people over time get less and less - you don't meet new people unless you start a new job etc, so you feel a bit more pressured to turn over as many girls as possible and hope that one of them maybe turns out good.

Perhaps true, but also: perhaps worth the sacrifice?

Depends what you're after. If you want to fall madly in love with one woman, sure this may kill some of the magic. If you want to be a playboy, game is good.

Then again if you fall madly in love with a girl you'll probably be nervous around her at times anyways....... game or no game.....

(opportunities to get to know people over time get "fewer and "fewer")

But unless you're married with kids how so mate? I'm 33 and meeting new people all the time.

Ha! I'm usually the one correcting people's grammar - thanks

Glad to hear you're meeting people all the time. I started a new job this year with a very big company and that has expanded my horizons. But before that, things had stagnated a bit - same job with small company for a few years, same group of friends etc.

How do you meet new people, Midas? Do you take yourself out (theatre, cinema, galleries etc) or have friends that you go out socialising with? I ask because the majority of my friends have paired off, so going out with the purpose of making new friends or meeting girls is a rare occurrence.


Anyway, back to original point: I think that feeling of discovering a connection with someone can be amazing, but my point was that it's unlikely to occur with people you've known for a long time, so sarging, or to a lesser extent just going out and meeting new people will improve your chances of it happening.

I guess if u want this 'feeling' you might push yourself out of your comfort zone further. Create that fear by challenging yourself. What game have you not tried?

i dont want the feelin... its loss of control, it was just his point...

plus the fact i dont beleive in DIFF TYPE OF GAME, its all just text... as far as im concerned being sociable is just ben sociable

I quite relish that feeling of fear when pushing yourself into the unknown and out of your comfort zone. It's rewarding to say the least. It's not something I do enough though.

Personally i don't see the magic in being nervous to talk to eachother and having that shyness, so to speak. This goes away after a while anyway so why delay it?

I suppose your friend may be saying that pick up takes the romance out of the situation, which is valid, IF that's what you believe.

I find it's possible to make strong connection pretty quickly (not just sexual), as well as over a long period of time it just depends on the person and how well suited you are. It's an interesting thing to think about tho.

YouTube - David DeAngelo Man Transformation: Alex Allman Part1

This goes into the subject perfectly, hits the nail on the head