Going tee total - PUA Forums - The UK's Leading Pick-up Artist Forum

CovertOperation · **Going tee total -** 02-10-2010, 03:48 PM

I could do with some second opinions on something fellers.

Right now, I am considering going tee total, and refraining from drinking pretty much full stop.

I'll be honest: I don't actually enjoy drinking. Some people drink and become more energetic, more talkative, more sociable. I don't. I become drowsy and droopy, less talkative, less likely to want to have a conversation and less able of being able to do so.

Last night, for example, we went out straight from work. In an effort not to drink too much and be asleep by 10pm, I tried to drink slowly and pace myself. But it occurred to me what an absurd situation this was: I was drinking in such a way as to not get drunk!

The only reason I drink is because I don't want to be seen as boring by other people. I don't want to be seen as someone who can't have a good time. I don't want to be seen as someone who isn't worth spending time with. That, honestly, is the only reason I drink when I go out.

Often, on a night out with other guys from the pick up community, I won't drink a single drop of alcohol. And they are often just the best nights. The best night out I've had since getting back was last weekend, when I didn't drink a drop, and Perfecto and myself spent just a few hours out, talking to girls. This in contrast to the nights where I've gone out, drank heavily, and had to go and sit down and leave to go to bed.

It costs money at a time when I'm trying to save up to travel, its unhealthy at a time when I'm trying to get fit, it leaves me with hangovers and ruins days off at a time when I'm attempting to write travel literature.

And for what? For avoiding being seen as a social retard? Bah.

So my question and reason for posting is to ask for other people's experiences and thoughts on this subject, and further to ask whether my concerns regarding how people view me socially are well founded or not.

Thanks guys.

Zed · 02-10-2010, 04:18 PM

I've been not drinking now since April. I've been officially tee-total until recently, when I allowed myself to have upto 2 shots in a night out, or half a beer. (Which is waaaaay more than enough after you haven't drunk for months)

One thing that has become very apparent is that with one existing group of friends I've been criticised heavily. Had things like: "Oh you drink. You're not tee-total." in a condescending manner at first, but they kind of stopped after people realised I was serious about it. I've since become a lot less closer to that group of friends, as I realised they all became less sociable when they drink.

Other friends have said "SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT" at me, at first, until after a while a few weeks they realised I wasn't going to do it. Now I don't get asked if I want a shot, and its not uncomfortable.

People who I've known less well have said:
"You're no fun" when I said I don't drink. (Note: This was not when we were out subsequently)
"That's really going to annoy me" when I said I don't drink, and "You're annoying me" when I didn't have a shot.

On the flip side, other friends who have higher social value have said:
"Are you serious? Not just for a little bit?" "Oh thats really cool. Good for you" (In a genuine way)
"Well done. Thats impressive how you can just decide to stop."
"Don't you get annoyed when you go out and everyone's pissed?"

Targets have said:
"Just a coke?" <yes, I don't drink alcohol> followed by an IOI, such as "thats really interesting", or "why don't you drink?", or "what made you stop?"
"I have work tommorow, so I can't drink, but you can if you want." <I don't drink so thats fine> "You can if you want to"

I've felt that some people view you as having higher value as a result. Their responses range through: being impressed, warming to me, being critical, feeling like their being judged (esp more insecure people).

I would say your concerns are well founded- People will view you differently. Thats not necessarily a bad thing. It feels like you're viewed as being in a different class of people within friend groups to some degree, however, people outside your existing social circle seem to appreciate it more. I've started hanging out with less heavy drinkers as a result (may be due to other things as well). Which I think is great- its much more fun!

CovertOperation · 02-10-2010, 04:59 PM

Thanks Zed, that's helpful.

Mann · 05:19 PM

I'll often drive and drink nothing. Sometimes I'll have up to 2 pints. I don't enjoy the drinking itself but I do enjoy the results of feeling more relaxed and spontanious.

I was sat chatting to a group of girls the other night and one of them said she was going to buy us all shots, so I told her I didnt want to drink so she got everyone else a shot and then a shot of water for me "..so i didn't feel left out" which I thought was quite sweet.

Later that same night I was chatting to some girls outside at the end of the night and one of them exclaimed "you're far too sober for my liking" or somthing along those lines but I didn't take offence to that.

Speaking from personal experience, If i'm sober I don't mind in the slightest if my mates get drunk. However, If i'm planning on getting very drunk (rare), I'd want them to get drunk too.

For me, it's all about trying to get a natural high and buzzing, as that works the best for me. I like the Flawless Natural Tim stuff about "Woooo!"

Covent, you say you don't want to be seen as a "social retard" by not drinking - in my expereince often the people who drink less are more confident and social (however, there are a lot of confident and social people who drink a lot also because they enjoy it). Put a "social retard" in a club / party and they'll drink non-stop till they throw up.

I think I'd like to stick to 95% water soon but we'll see!

BritishPakistani · 02-10-2010, 06:39 PM

I don't drink and never ever have done so I think I may be able to add some of my thoughts to this conversation.

I have found that it allows me to operate with a clear head but I tend to go into my head too much. Alcohol does make it easier to get over AA but this is just because you forget your social conditioning, this is possible without having a drink. I do feel left out sometimes, especially when people are knocking back drink after drink (fizzy drinks don't taste that nice that you would want another coke straight after finishing your previous one).

I am going to have a couple of energy drinks tonight before I head out and hopefully these should give me the boost that I need.

VauDevil · 02-10-2010, 07:44 PM

Haven't had a drink in 15 years.

Never liked the taste,and it just got in the way of my training.

Unfortunately,the assumption is in the UK,that one drinks;to celebrate,unwind,commiserate whatever..one drinks.

But you don't need to,it's used as a social mask to release repressed inner demons and to overcome our national reserve.There was an experiment done on this;a group of people were given drinks,some contained alcohol,others were alcohol free.It was ONLY in this country that those given non-alcoholic drinks reported a HIGH.Conclusion,the booze was a "prop",a "badge" that allowed the consumer to act in a more socially relaxed way.

Personally,I enjoy being TT,my wallet is fuller,my waist thinner,I've never suffered from the embarassing effects of beer goggles,and I know what Sunday morning feels like.

Try it for a while.

Life is more fun with your senses sharp.

TallGuySlim · 02-10-2010, 07:49 PM

I cut out a lot of drinking alcohol the last few weeks. I realised that after two or three pints I can't really put a coherent conversation together - which just adds to my AA.

I have never drunk lime and soda before, but I am really getting into it! Went out in Manchester a couple of weeks ago with a friend and I can tell you that getting a round of L&S for £1.50 felt really good!

legend · 02-10-2010, 08:49 PM

This has been discussed before. I like how Jaz puts it:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaz

It seems that dry sarging, or going out and not drinking. Is a right of passage for every aspiring pua. Its like "what you havent gone out sober???" Yep, you cant call yourself a scout until you have that badge. Its eluded that by by drinking your cheating. That alcohol is will give you confidence to get the girl.

Well i disagree.

Alcohol is not liquid confidence, despite what people say. Alcohol simply dulls the senses and drops ones inhibitions. But it really depends on who YOU are to determine what effect liquor will have on you.

Mr party animal office clown when drunk will be Mr party animal office clown x2. He will be louder and more crass maybe. The moody angry guy with a short leash becomes the moody angry guy with NO leash. We have all seen and avoided that guy before.

If you are the type of fellow who finds social situations awkward particular in respect to talking to strange woman, then drinking six pints aint really gonna help you. You may find it loosens you tongue a little but liquid confidence it is not.

Now on to being sober...

On a friday and saturday night in towns across britain. 99.9% of people out are pissed out of there heads. I dont know if that is an accurate consensus, but for the sake of argument its near enough. That means that if you enter a bar/club sober you are in that 00.1% minority.

Now I worked as bar manager at a hotel for a few years. It was fucking awesome, have some brilliant storys I could tell of but I'll save them for another time. One thing you learn when working behind a bar is that alcohol is truly an ugly, ugly substance. I would work these office partys and hen doos and being totally sober see the effect this liquid was having on people. It really makes you not want to drink ever again. Woman are also much less attractive. Of course when your part of the action, drunk yourself, you dont notice it. But when you sober and you really look around, its sick.

I decided a year or two ago that I would go sarging sober. Now heres where it gets weird. When I was in club drinking coke. I felt very isolated, it just wasent right. When, I came to chat up some chick, she would of course be pissed. I would then feel like I was taking advantage of her. I mean think about it, its a bit freaky? I turn up to a club, sober. With the sole purpose of picking up some drunk chick. Makes me a little uncomfortable. You see once you make sarging sober your challenge, you have framed it in that way "a challenge". Its perfectly plausible to have a brilliant night sober. But once challenge mode is enabled, you act like a fucking robot. I have seen PUA's in clubs (they stick out like a sore thumb) standing at the side of the club not drinking, like lions looking for prey. It makes be very uneasy.

Nowadays. I drink whenever I go out. Why? because I like it man. It is enjoyable if you know it isnt some wonderdrug and accept your most likely gonna look like a tit. I dont have to drink to talk to people or get woman. Through my experiences I am fully aware of the effects of beer. When I am not drunk I am loud, opinionated and have the sense of humor of a 15 year old. When I am drunk, I am exactly the same except I just keep bumping into shit.

I am keen to hear you views.

Word to your mother.

The whole thread is here:
alcohol-you-wicked-bitch

Make your own mind at the end of the day!

CovertOperation · 03-10-2010, 12:31 AM

I do see where you're coming from Legend, and indeed Jaz. But alas, I think we're talking about slightly different things. I'm not saying I'm considering giving up drinking (indeed tonight, did not drink) because I want to become more effective picking up girls. Rather:

Quote:

Originally Posted by CovertOperation

I don't actually enjoy drinking. Some people drink and become more energetic, more talkative, more sociable. I don't. I become drowsy and droopy, less talkative, less likely to want to have a conversation and less able of being able to do so.

This is as well as the additional side effects.

Over the years, I've had some really good times drunk. At least, I think I have. During my days as a student, my favourite times were always mornings after, when me and my friends would slump across the sofa in our living room, reminding each other of daft things we'd done the night before. That was a laugh, and I'll never forget those days.

But alas, times have changed. And more often than not now, I find myself drinking but thinking 'I don't want to be drunk'. The starting point to this isn't to do with girls, necessarily, although I'd by lying if I said it was nothing to do with girls as part of an overall whole.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CovertOperation

So my question and reason for posting is to ask for other people's experiences and thoughts on this subject, and further to ask whether my concerns regarding how people view me socially are well founded or not.

As I say, I am concerned of what other people will think of me if I decide not to drink. Does it lower your value in the eyes of other people if you say 'I don't drink'?

Isn't it pathetic that I'm choosing whether or not to alter an important part of my life based on what other people with think? For fuck sake Adam, if you don't want to drink then don't fucking drink, and if other people have a problem with that, well then they can fuck off can't they?!

Argh.

Zed · 04-10-2010, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CovertOperation

For fuck sake Adam, if you don't want to drink then don't fucking drink, and if other people have a problem with that, well then they can fuck off can't they?!

Amen to that. Think you've just answered your own question.