Im 21 and a virgin why? Because i believe that the first time you have sex is special, like taking your first step or saying your first word its a special moment in your life. Now i was not a natural at attracting women was a typical mr. nice guy so found real difficulties in attracting girls. Eventually when i learn about game i had my first real opportunity to have sex, i was 18 and a girl was beggin me to fuck her in an alley in magaluf.. now i got a sudden hit of weird emotional feelings, such as guilt, anxiety and questioning how much i liked this girl. I did not find this girl that attractive and she was actually my exs best friend, i was pretty certain she was a full slut and wanted to go unprotected in some dirty alleyway...

So i turned her down, now you could say i was just nervous and anxious and thats why i did not have sex with her, that i was rationalising that i didnt like this girl very much and she didnt deserve me rather than admit i was just too scared to sleep with her.. But thats bullshit, my subconcious mind made me feel all these feelings for a reason. Like alot of things ur body knows best, i was feeling this way i assume because it was hard wired into me from thousands of years ago to seek out good mates, to have sex with girls that had good genetics and would be good mothers for my child. Now everything i got from this girl said otherwise so i turned her down, i didnt give into my lustful feelings, despite being drunk and horny i had the discipline to say no. I knew it wasnt right and am happy with what i did.

No disrespect to anyone but me PERSONALLY am an emotional sensitive person thats just the way i am, not a pussy or bitch but am very easily affected by things emotionally. So i dont want to have the feeling of regret and guilt that i could get for havin sex with a girl like that. Im sure alot of you probably would have fucked her, and thats just the way you guys are which is cool you look at sex as fun and not a big deal, good stuff i wouldnt mind being like that, but im not.

I have however passed on girls who i was attracted to and the reason was because i was too nervous to do anything with them or make a move. That is because i didnt have the experience or confidence at that time to get them. I i regret that and i thought and was told by alot of people on this forum and out of it that you have to kiss alot of frogs to get that hot one at the end. This is true but i think it only works for the type of guy who just wants sex for sex, for the fun and pleasure from it, doesnt feel any real emotional connection or anything. For me that would mean feeling regretful sleeping with a girl im not attracted to, this not only makes me feel shit about myself but also sets my standards low. If i sleep with 10 ugly girls, i can boost that ive had sex 10 times....yey... so fuking what...my standards are set low i am not having to really work for it cos they are easy enough to get and subconciously i have the potential of having a child with a girl who i do not having any attraction for and handing over my awesome genetics to her... fuck that..

I always thought you should aim as high as you can, so more recently i have only started to approach and talk and attract the best looking girls i can find, this ensures that if im going to get a girl its going to be one that 1. i wont regret 2. sets my standards high so always me to continue to get other hot girls and 3. gives me alot more confidence waaay more than i would get from getting some random shit skank.

So i have had to approach average girls and even ugly girls but that was a necessity to get up my social skills and get used to talking to girls, not actually sleeping with them, this allowed me to get the skills to talk and start to approach the hot ones. Which in turn will mean i can sleep with them..

So i want to lose my virginity and am happy to have waited for a girl who i find attractive and also more specifically a certain girl mate of mine. I actually sat and made a game plan and wrote out a strategy to get her. It came down to i am not sexually confident enough to get her in my bed and as she is a friend i need to be pretty certain she is attracted to me. So the solution is to get hot girls in my life to evoke 1. jealousy in her (indirectly) increasing her attraction for me, 2. it gives me a hot girl as a back up if things dont go the way i planned with this girl. 3. it will increase my skills and confidence regardless. So either way i have formualted this plan which involves me chatting up hot girls and getting a girl who i really care about. That is something worth waiting for. Not just grabbing the first thing willing to have sex with me and doing it cos it feels nice or because of social pressure or because i am told its not a big deal.

p.s.

I realise in this post i most probably came off as a dick/fag but im just trying to express my feelings on the subject and i truly hope im not being delusional.


peace

stop trying to make plans to get a specific girl.

everyone has been down this road at some point. no girl is worth it. just work on yourself and feel more comfortable in your skin. if you don't feel sexually confident of confident with an attractive girl, gain more confidence in the person who you are.

While it is good you aren't ashamed at your notches on your bedpost (like some we know oh here), it is totally pointless building this up as a big ocassion. Sex is sex, and we all improve through practice. It'll probably be disappointing the first time, it was for me, but I do not regret it for one minute.

I'm still crap

Get off your computer, get some confidence, and find someone you like who has similar interests and values without being a pussy about it.

When you find someone you like, you'll hit it off, and sex will just happen. Get confidence in your lifestyle and your sexual ability (Read books!)

Throw your plan to get this one girl out of the window, and get out there and meet more people. You don't have to sleep with them, just meet them, and find out their values and what they're about.

You've said at the end of your post, you think you might be delusional. If you even have that doubt for a sniff of a second, I'd say you probably are. Your post sounds like you're trying to justify being in your comfort zone.

Be awesome for yourself, not for getting this girl.

Just smash ANYTHIN.... its shit anyway until uve practiced

sounds awful familiar to me.
when i was 15 i met and fell in love with this girl, a year older than me, we said 'i love you' after a month. i wanted to sleep with her after we said this as i too am an emotional kind of guy, and i wanted to physically express my love for her. she didn't feel the time was right though, and because i loved her i wanted to wait til everything was perfect.
we were totally in love, in an emotionally unshakeable relationship. we talked all night every night on the phone and spent all our free time together. i was pretty sure when we did finally 'make love' it was going to be amazing.
so, 6 months down the line, she turns 17 and decides that the time is right for her. by then i am 16. my parents go away for the weekend, i cook a romantic dinner, we eat candlelit, in the kitchen i have decked out with roses and little tea-lights everywhere. we have a bottle of wine...
we go upstairs, tear each other's clothes off; i feel like this is the most absolutely right moment, everything has been leading up to this... it's perfect. we are one being, one mind in two bodies etc etc.

anyway two minutes later i blew my load.

she says, the first thing she says after our first time making love, after we waited 6 months... 'was that it'?

we were together another 8 months after that, and with practice we got pretty good in the sack together. but we were 16/17 at the time, i was her first, she was mine.
the point i'm trying to make is that even though we were both emotionally attuned, we had both waited for the right time, we were in love and all that, the first time was actually really shit. physically, emotionally it was shit. it was not the massive fireworks display i had waited for and imagined. it was not how it is in the movies. the best sex i ever had was with a girl i had known for years, with whom i had a fuckbuddy agreement. we fucked all night, once 7 times between midnight and 10am (no sleep) then i started having feelings for her and she dumped me!
in conclusion: sex does not equal love, nor does love equal sex. occasionally the two happen together, but not always, and sometimes not at all.
p.s. good luck either way!

Ur still a spaz

thanks for the input guys its not like im sitting at my computer doing nothing, i go out, approach girls quite alot get numbers and am improving everyday, the problem is that i simply dont feel that i can willingly sleep with some average girl i dont like because every says its not a big deal u shud just do it.. im not trying to be unrealistic in my standards but i just want to sleep with girls im attracted to and start off on the right foot, with a girl i actually care about. im not looking for some magical first time i just want to know that i waited and got a girl i like not some random girl i really dont like that is a total skank. A few months ago i was outside a club wasted i was in a queue to get on a bus, a girl infront of me puts her hand down my jeans and starts jackin me off...she tried to pull me onto the bus and was clearly looking for a fuk, i stayed, i didnt want some girl like that, i didnt turn down others in the past and wait around for her. i have a girl i know i wont regret and i'm going after her..

tbh im sure i really will look back on this and wish i cud bitchslap myself but i find it very hard to stop myself feeling this way and its not like its unrealistic to get this girl, if i set my mind to it i will get her.

i want to get this girl, and get hot girls after i dont want to settle i dont want to feel like im desperate for sex or that i have to do something because everyone else is. Just the way i am.

definitely only sleep with girls you are attracted to, but dont think of it as a big thing.
its just a natural part of life.