Letting them down gently

[cha]

Can it be done!?

This girl I'd seen 3 times, started getting annoyed when I said 'maybe' about going out again....and how she was surprised I only made the effort to see her once a week

I tried to explain that my work is unpredictable, and so cant go commiting much....the truth, and that I have other hobbies car,bike, gym etc

She was really annoyed, seemed to think we were a couple after 'a whole month'...counting the days!?

Anyway, is there any way of letting them down gently....not attractive a clingy girl!

[caveman]

Just tell you dont want a relationship, even do it by text, if youve haven't seen much of her you owe her nothing. She will be a bit upset but she will soon get over over it, its not like any degree of emotional attachment has allowed to develop.

[funkygoat]

There is no "letting them down gently", other than to make the reasons nothing personal to do with her. It's best to be honest about what you want and what you don't want, with no ambiguity [if they're attached they'll misinterpret any false hope you give them].

Do you want a relationship or a fuckbuddy type deal or to get rid of her?

[cha]

Well I explained the truth, that I dont have regular free time.....she didnt seem to be having any of it, and that I should have strung her along, should have told her after to first or second date!?

Got a loooong message last night- I dont expect to hear back from you,but you should know you've really upset me, shouldnt mess me about, should not see girls if you dont have much time, really hurt me

I've seen her four times, once was an hour one evening....and she's talking like we were going to get married!? Ahhhh! lol

[cha]

haha ok thanks...I more or less said that come to think of it....she just replied with ''oh well most people know if they like someone after the first or second date''

I'd be wrong whatever I'd say...hence why not communicating much really....just ends in arguments

[nova]

Intense. I can see her on the dating site now doing a word match for 'relationship material'.

[cha]

haha yes....I think that its wise to 'date' someone for maybe a month or two, or when it feels right, before making any sort of commitment

I found out after seeing her a couple of times, that she didnt really have any ambitions, or much drive, which obviously slowly made me lose attraction