How to Get Rid of Nerves During Approach
 

Hi guys

This one is for the veterans. I went out on Friday and Saturday this weekend in the day and got four numbers in total. Only problem is... 90 percent of the time (but not always) I'm still quite nervous during the conversation which really harms my game

I have almost completely gotten over my approach anxiety at this point but still have anxiety (trying to think of things to say, not speaking confidently etc) during the actual interaction

Is the solution to keep approaching until I am less nervous each time?

Please share your experiences, would be much appreciated
Johnny

The nerves/adrenaline doesn't go away.

Sure, you can come to a point where you've been approaching so much that you're on a high and feel like you can approach almost any girl, but take a week off and those nerves will return.

You just accept that this is part of it, because you'll never totally get rid of them. It makes you human.

Thanks for the reply Dan300

I thought someone would say this but this isn't just a bit of nerves, its nervousness to the point that it is disrupting my game, making me stutter, go silent at the wrong time, say stupid things etc. Really annoying because when I am relaxed I know how to make a good conversation..

One thing that makes anxiety worse is focusing too much on yourself, this is also where feelings of being self conscious come from. One trick is to focus your whole attention externally or on the other person.

Some people are naturally more inward thinking and self reflexive which is bad for anxiety. Training your mind to focus more externally and in the moment will help.

There's not much that is actually proven to work to improve social anxiety. And definitely being told to focus your attention externally as a trick, is shit advice. Basically what the clever folk who work stuff out have worked out so far is: CBT, ACT and SST.

Read about these and adopt some practical applications that the experimental results demonstrate would be effective.


Peace,

kowalski

So bitter. haha. I actually got that tip from Jordan Peterson. I think he understands a lot more about anxiety than you, and so do I.

One reason for anxiety issues is also an over active amygdala, things like positive self talk can help the pre frontal cortex override the amydala. This comes from studies by neuroscientists.

Sorry that it upset you when I brought science to bear on the topic.

Quote where Jordan Peterson gives that advice. You surely heard something entirely different that what was actually said. You do that with everything... Just take your own sig as an example. Pretty sure you think we are pigs yet you still wrestle with us. You're an idiot.


Peace,

kowalski

Haha don't worry you can never upset me, you just think you're important enough to affect me, which is cute.

Emotions get worse or better when you think inwardly, I new this anyway. I just found work by JP that backed up what I already new to be true.

I never called you pig, you have a negative self image.

Have a look, well he's says focus more externally not your whole attention.



If it doesn't work https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et_aw_10_Po

Thanks for proving my point.


Peace,

kowalski

The pig point, yes maybe that was true.

So was I wrong because I said "whole attention" instead of focus more externally? haha please you can't be this irrational!