Warning this is pretty long.


I just moved to a new town, got a new job at a call center. The girl who trained our small induction group for a week (she's 20) and all we did for a week was sit for 8 hours and talk for the whole week. I'm 21 btw. So as we talked for 8 hours a day we basicly talked about everything from our relationships to sex (which she revealed some pretty crazy shit with her and her husband). She was married then and I was in a 4 year relationship.

1 week into it and I broke up with my girlfriend, as of 3 days ago she is getting a divorce.

It's hard to build sexual tension when we're in the same office for 8 hours a day and continually talking (and texting/facebook) when I get home. She's a HB 8.5, very high maintenence who depends on being wined and dined but at the same time she's very very promiscuous and a generally warm person.

She broke up with her husband on friday and ended up sleeping with two of her good guy friends, one on saturday and one on sunday. At work today she then proceeded to explain how they both thrashed her so bad she could hardly walk. After hearing that I made a couple of jokes about it but then told her I didn't want to hear that shit, my motivation for that is to try to not get caught too deep in the friend zone although i'm probably already stuck there.

This is a girl I want to sleep with once merely because I find this time talking has been a waste unless I sleep with her. She's now booking up with dates and i'm trying to subtley get something happening with her without risking an uncomfortable work enviroment if she doesn't respond well. I want to make it all happen in the one day as it's getting to me the longer I take to sleep with her and I don't want to waste several dates just to sleep with a girl I don't care about.

Her personality:

Money orientated when it comes to relationships
Not phased much by relationships
Very material
Loves a night out and getting smashed
Has a very club-slut mentality
Very open about her entire life, am I stuck in the friend zone or is it just because we have 8 hours a day stuck with nothing to say?

I'm not her type as she's into surfy guys, I'm a person who is very clean, stylish guy that dressed to work like i'm going out on the town.

Now to the part where I need help:

How can I turn this relationship into a sexual one, delicately without jepordising my working relationship? We spend alot of time at work together and I don't want anything more but a one night stand from her. She's the type of girl that would, but making the initial invitation to make it happen is delicate.

I had something planned tonight to have drinks with her and another colleague at their flat, but she cancelled for another date. How should I react to this? Should I punish her for cancelling it or what?

Very weird situation. With this oppurtunity I need to make all the right moves and fast.

interesting, and great potential.

I cans ee from you're ummary, that you clearly want a physcial/sex only relationship with her.... and may i reccommend for a professional point of view. perhaps just the once?

I would probably try and get a few work people together on a friday, seeing as you are new, you could suggest it as a bonding type thing? then when she comes out with you and the group. Just flirt with her... i wouldnt hide too much, from your summary, i would guess, she knows what she wants and snt too shy, in my experience, the club-slut type girl will often go for the over-confident, even slightyl arrogant type guy for a one-off session!

Perhaps as the night moves on, say you dont want to finish up, and that your evening hastn satisfied you yet... see if you can suggest a more private/intimate party later on?

i think she might go for that...


but as i said before... if it were me, id have one-shot at this girl, i wouldnt chase her too much, and i wouldnt make it known, purely becasue of the work thing, unless this is not a long-term job that you care about of course?... just don't want to get tarred with the same brush as her, reputation-wise...

Pic.

Yeh that's what I'm going to be striving for. One shot to sleep with her. If it fails, if I get shot down I won't try again, because she just isn't worth chasing.

I guess it's about the perfect opportunity, but it has to happen soon or I will be risking not doing it at all. The longer i'm trapped in this friend-zone the harder it will be to get out.

Good idea about the work thing, definately something I will consider. I have the le-way to take her on a date by myself but I don't want it to work like that. She wants a guy to wine and dine her where-as I don't want to give her what she wants just so I can get sex from her. I'm looking for a way around that. I don't want to be the same as the other chumps who do everything she wants them too.

take her to the top off a mountain and camp out over night, light a big fire and cook some chicken whilst watching the sunset over the vast scenery with a nice can of carling, then watch as the unpoluted by artifitial light sky blackens and revels the blinding bright stars, thats somthing she's never done and she will likely resist the idea if you made it sound lame but its a fav of mine to do with so called high maintinance girls, what ever her ex did didn't work for him as he was probly just doing what he thought would keep her happy.

then again these lot do call me cheesey

Don't shit where you eat. For me not worth the potential aggro getting involved with a co-worker, especially one that sounds like the girl you've just described. Go for girls you actually like, your dick is doing all the thinking right now.

If however you insist you really want to get with her then adopt an abundance mindset, meet other women, show her you have options that you're pre-selected etc. You say you don't care for this girl too much, then do just that, don't pay her too much attention you feel she doesn't warrant. Potentially she could be the one to chase you, at the moment sounds like you're her lap-dog sat there listening to how she got fucked at the weekend. Not fun.

I don't think communication with "all girls" lacks value, but with this girl it is a dead end for me. This is the goal i've set in my head but like I said, it's a delicate situation so "behaving like it" is a little harder.

@Hustler: The dick is doing all the thinking until I pop my first bullet since my breakup. I need to change my mindset around her though, I accomodate her conversation too much and need to find a way to make her work for it. Same goes with my date setting with her.

I'll post feedback on how today goes and see if things change at all.

Thanks for the response K-wal.

Well I spent most of the day ignoring her to see what reaction I would get and have been negging her about her dating/dates but playfully.

It seems with this treatment she is less responsive and seems to lose interest in the relationship we have when I do this, so not sure where to go from here. When it comes to behaving like the outcome I wish to achieve, there's always a third party listening in, so to act like that would probably get me a sexual harrassment clam haha

How about MOVING ON? She's not worth the time & effort. I was emailing and chatting to this girl at work and on two occassions, I asked her out and she just said she was busy...! I stopped having long chats with her now just the odd good morning...HER LOSS!!!

It seems more like your loss. You only chatted twice what do you expect? Maybe you should focus on building attraction before asking her out.

You're surprised by this? Since when was 'ignore her' a recommended tool in the pick-up world?

What was she supposed to do after this - drop at your feet? Grow some bollocks and start acting like a man. She's obviously got no shortage of guys who want to fuck her. Do you think either of those guys ignored her? Did they bollocks, they flirted to fuck and back with her, and they got what they wanted.

Like ignoring her?

I 100% agree with Legend.