HB with boyfriend - ethics - Page 2 - PUA Forums - The UK's Leading Pick-up Artist Forum

daleinthedark · 06-03-2015, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stein

Mostly it stems for a lack of personal standards...

When I was out doing the whole pickup/player thing a major rule I tried to go by was the whole Hippocratic oath thing of 'above all, do no harm'. i.e. getting laid should not come at the expense of hurting people, physically or emotionally if at all possible.

I think Stein answered this better than I could and I think that the rule of above all do no harm is a good rule for life (i.e. leave things the same or better than when you found them)

I like the idea/principle of Karma, not to the point where there is a governing force but more in the Newtonian sense that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, hence the do no harm.

But as Stein said you don't know the other guy, you could push this guy into a bad place and I'm not sure I'd want hurting another person on my conscience.
Plus if you read back to some of Dan300's first posts he wanted to cause physical harm to guys sniffing around his son's mum - would I wanna get decked over sex?

Quote:

Originally Posted by markuk

Someone who has been termed a 'boyfriend' might not necessarily feel a romantic connection to their 'girlfriend'. They could be a 'fuck buddy'?!

If the OP had replaced the word boyfriend with fuck-buddy would have the responses been different ?

Mark makes a valid point, where does the relationship line get drawn in terms of seeing somebody... but again where I have faced this dilemma I have used instinct and judgement and above all personal standards on what I know/can deduce.

It also doesn't just have to be about sexual relations - if somebody is taken and they're fun to be around, then add them to your social group. As Mark said they can be somebody who comes back around later or they could always bring other value into your life beyond the bed...

Phil · 07-03-2015, 09:29 AM

what can you possibly gain from fucking a girl with a BF

Situation outcomes

A. She is shit in bed so u don't wanna fuck her again anyway. Waste of time

B. She is boss in bed and u wanna see her again... then ur on a road to dating a girl who cheats on her BF's

Lose Lose scenario.

PostScript · 07-03-2015, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markuk

If a woman uses the word 'boyfriend' does that automatically draw the conclusion that a) She is putting up resistance ? and / or b) she is in a loving sexual relationship and is not interested in meeting other men ?
(I'm not convinced)

Well I'll skip over the word "resistance" as that is a reframe (and a worrying one too), but my point is that it doesn't matter either way.

Even if there was a grey area I don't view it as some kind of fertile territory to plough my way through in the search of a bit of muff, I view it as a no mans land of aggravation that I can't be arsed with.

It's an internal difference really. I suppose I've just calmed down a lot and am happy to let people have their reality when it comes to their view of me, and increasingly their view of everything else as well.