I have always thought you should experiment with this part of your life, and I was a late starter, although catching up!
Some stuff I know would not interest me, eg I am not bi, but other stuff I think your conditioning, experiences and environment form those preconceptions.
My question is if you experiment and keep pushing comfort zones, do you get to a place where vanilla sex with someobe new is not giving the same emotional high?
Eg for a lot of guys a 3some would be desirable. If you then did that a lot would that get stale, so onto the next thing?.
Do you think most people have an outer comfort zone they would not go past?
I've always thought for example d9ing stuff in public would be too extreme for me.
Similarly if you have slept with many women do you get to a point where even the excitement of a new experience diminishes?

Do you think there is a difference between experimenting and pushing your comfort zones?

I would say there is - surely the former is exploratory; discovering preferences, senses and pleasures whereas the latter is seeing how far you can take things for the sake of it... but that is my opinion.

In relation to receiving the emotional high, one thing I have found is personally it is less related to the activity that I am performing and more to the person I am with and the situation as a whole.

There have been times I have had "vanilla" sex with somebody where for that particular night we connected physically and emotionally and it was an explosion.

Contrary there have been girls (some at the same time) who have dressed up to the 9s in lingerie then we essentially mistreated each other in the name of fun and it was disagreable to say the least

Then I have also had the flip side of both of those scenarios.

It is about finding out what you like and then doing what you both want (or an enjoyable compromise)

I wrote a field report about some really bad but an instance of great sex that I had (see point 2). The girl wasn't perfect but for whatever reason the chemistry was awesome and we found a rythm that wasn't outright BDSM but definitely wasn't vanilla.

All I would say is go out, enjoy yourself and try not to let any social or pornographic misconceptions lead you away from what feels good

My view is don't make sex a crutch and don't over think it, you don't need to be seeking emotional highs to tick them off some kind of list to compare with other people. Just enjoy women and do what you both feel like.

In terms of experimenting I do it for fun, not to test some kind of boundary. For example I have no burning urge to have a threesome, everyone goes on about it, and it does look fun, but I'm not going to go after it in particular. That's just me.

I found the one thing I like is outdoor sex, nothing where you are really flaunting it or likely to get caught, but for instance sex in the car, blowjobs and fingering in the cinema, changing room sex, sex in the woods near the park...I love all that shit.

Thanks man and hilarious field report - got one or two of those myself! I think I have been a bit guilty of almost carrying around a checklist of stuff you must try, like I'm sightseeing on holiday or something.
Definitely finding what you like and being honest about what you want is key.

Thanks again and Yes I think that was a perceptive reply, I've had some sort of mental checklist subconsciously, partly driven by I think being a late starter and the idea that I needed to compare, like I was missing out. Which is of course nonsense.
I think it's good to explore in your sex life but that seems a healthier mindset, for fun and to see what you like- I mean it's not some chemistry lab experiment or something.
I got introduced to the discreet public thing by a naughty woman a while back in a packed bar, and really liked it too- keen for more of that!