First date- wussed out - PUA Forums - The UK's Leading Pick-up Artist Forum

linguisticsmartarse · **First date- wussed out -** 30-06-2014, 05:02 PM

Just posted my introductory here:

[url]http://www.puaforums.co.uk/introductions/19501-very-rusty.html[/url]

So I am early 30's and I had a first date with a really hot girl 10 years younger than me. It was quite a catch as she is very hot, and I am not. I'm not bad looking, but I am a good 4 stone over weight (although I am hitting the gym HARD now).

I've been teasing her for weeks, and stepped it up by telling her I'd take her for a drink if she could guess a riddle I gave her. I really made her work for it. I made the whole process one of qualification in intelligence. It worked. She got it in the end, date was on.

The first two hours of the date were 9/10. I was throwing some gentle negs, and she was lapping it up. I was really on it. You know when everything that comes out your mouth is just pure entertainment?

We talked deep. She made the point she couldn't speak to anyone like this. We were making a real connection.

Then I flagged. She started taking control of the conversation, I became more passive. I could feel things cooled a bit. By now we were 5 hours in...I am thinking I should have took her home at the peak...

We did however have a cuddle outside.

On the way home, I went to hold her hand. She pulled away and shook her head at me. Bollix!!

The next day I made the mistake of messaging her and telling her I enjoyed the date. She did not reply. I was controlled enough not to chase or be bothered. However I seem to have got away with it, because the next day she messaged me asking for another game...

Any input guys?

PostScript · 30-06-2014, 06:20 PM

There is a field report section mate.

Anyway try not to beat yourself up so much, things ebb and flow you don't have to be in the zone all the time. Besides you want her talking, it does't mean you are beta or something just because she takes over leading the convo for a bit. It's an opportunity for you to sit back and let her invest and express herself.

PostScript · 07-07-2014, 07:47 AM

^ He's not wrong linguisticsmartarse you are treading the line between entertainer and date.

You've got another roll of the dice though so you're gonna have to undo any perception she has formed that you are just a friend and amplify the touching and playful flirting sooner so it's clear what you want.

nova · 07-07-2014, 10:04 AM

Oh this all sounds so familiar to how I thought dates were meant to be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by linguisticsmartarse

Then I flagged. She started taking control of the conversation, I became more passive. I could feel things cooled a bit. By now we were 5 hours in...I am thinking I should have took her home at the peak...

Fuck me 5 hours. Just to put it in perspective, you could have fucked her within that time. Sounds like you were putting off taking real action here, and probably waiting for her to throw herself at you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by linguisticsmartarse

We did however have a cuddle outside.

Magical makeout opportunity right there man.

I’d move on, you're well into the friend zone already.

Serendipity · 11:07 AM

Yep sounds like you have the same sticking point as me. It sounds like you did a lot of things right. What's missing is the emotional spiking, e.g. introducing a sexual context, inuendo, etc, to the conversation and initiating physical escalation.

If you don't do this within a certain time frame you will start sinking into the quicksand of a friendly conversation and she won't be turned on. Then when you try to intiate physical escalation she'll reject and you'll feel like total shit wondering if she ever liked you in the first place.

EDIT: I should add that spiking has to be balanced with comfort and normal conversation. I'm sure I scared a girl off recently because I think I put her under too much pressure by spiking too much.

When you're on the learning curve the pendulum tends to swing too far one way then the other until you get it just right.