Weight Problem
 

Okay, I need to confess something. I am fat. I used to be really slim, toned and fairly muscular. And I felt awesome.

And for some reason, (probably at the time of meeting my current girlfriend), I have put on like 3 stone, now weighing 14 stone, and have grown quite the belly.

I always try to hide it, by wearing big and baggy clothes. But many of my nice clothes have stopped fitting me, and it is generally getting me down in life. I try to tense up a lot at work, so I don't look fat all the time.

I feel like I need help. I have a gym membership. I go alone, and don't know anyone who I can go with. I start going for a week, or 2, or sometimes even 3, but then, I just stop. I will be at work, and just feel like "meh, i cant be arsed to go to the gym after!" Then I stop for a few weeks. I've been like it a while now.

Also, I feel like I can't fix my diet. I feel so limited in what I can eat. I don't like: Salad, vegetables, fish like tuna, nuts other than peanuts. I just struggle to figure out what I can eat on my work lunch. Also, when I'm at college on Wednesdays, I just eat crap due to the lack of canteen (cob van comes), and just get loaded on fizzy pop bottles all day, which is terrible.

I feel like I'm addicted to fizzy drinks (like, I can't go a week without them). What I tend to do is have some breakfast, then not eat until I finish work at 4pm, cos I can't really stomach a dinner.

I want to burn away the stomach fat, and get a 6 pack eventually. I have read a billion articles on slimming, losing fat, building muscle, different variations, and I just really don't have any motivation. I want to start looking good again.

I also want to note: I hate running, concrete or the treadmill, as I get really bad back ache after like half a mile. For this reason, I've been going on the cross trainer (trying to do interval training on it). I also try and do some all body weight training.

I know its easy to say "just get up and go to the gym", but sometimes I just persuade myself not to go. Its frustrating. Anyways, if you're still reading this, any help or feedback will be appreciated, good or bad. I feel like this is a big stepping stone in the way of me being awesome.

Thanks
Dan

Heck this is a confession

Nothing anyone can say to you will help unless you choose to take action.
You dont need to go hardcore straight away--its best you dont or you wont stick to it.

Start by changing your lunches - go to the supermarket, get packets of Decent Ham, Beef and a bag of Salad, some onion or pickles and tomatos.
Wholemeal Bread --
and a pack of small bottles of Water.

there you go thats your lunches sorted! --it IS that simple.

Have you thought about joining BMF - British Military Fitness
that will get you outside/meeting men and women and fit

start with that and you are well on your way.

Once it becomes a habit you WILL feel good about yourself

Take up kung fu or dancing or something that distracts your mind while you exercise. Makes it a lot easier to do. Dont use weight as an excuse not to be awesome in field, you've got four limbs, two eyes, a dick, a brain, the ability to talk, you're not dead. All these things and a lot more give u replication value. Actually, fuck it all you need is a dick, balls and to not be dead and an insane level of confidence in yourself and you'll get shit loads of women. End of.

Get some sardines in tomatoe sauce on toast tooting for lunch. Cheap and f*cking tasty! Also I'd imagine you've got an uphill struggle to be remotely healthy if you reject all veg. It doesn't always have to be about joining the gym. Cycle to work.

Yeah I know I can be awesome regardless of my weight, but it's generally making me feel shitty about myself anyways, so I have to sort it out.

I will get some wholemeal bread and ham and chicken, its just the salad I don't like. I don't like pickles, tomatoes, or onions.

I will look at BMF..

I want to WANT to go to the gym. I do deep down, but some stupid voice in my head convinces me that "chillin out at home" will be much better, and it's pissin me off.

I do buy juices, like raspberry and cranberry, but then I still go and buy a can of coke at lunch or something.

I'd like to take up a martial art, but I can't afford that and the gym, so I would have to cancel the gym. I'd go with friends, but all my closest friends, live like 10 - 20 mile away and can't drive.

Thanks for feedback

Edit: Just saw Jaz and Nova response..

I don't mind how heavy I am, I just want to look good, and at the moment, you could pinch a few inches.

That sounds like a simple enough diet Jaz, I will do that.

nova.. I don't like any fish, it just makes me heave. And yeah, it sucks that I hate all veg, but I have tried and tried over and over again, but it just makes me puke. Its shit really.

Also, I have just bought a bike to cycle to work, as its only 3 miles.

I dont give a shit-- i dont like salad either
JUST EAT IT you will learn to like it.

An idea of my typical diet....

Wake Up,
Hit Work (5 mins away)
Coffee, Banana
20 mins later Protein Drink in Milk
Hour After Oat So simple with some Honey on.


Lunch
Defrosted a Chilli i had made
- Lean Beef, Peppers, Onion, TOmatos, Kidney Beans and some Pasta

Afternoon
Protein Drink


Home
Pre-Gym i`ll probably drop a Banana
Post Gym - Recovery Protein Drink


Late Evening Meal
Pork Chops, Spuds some Veg

Pre Bed
Protein Drink

General Drinks -- Ribenna, Water, few Coffees

Its a pretty healthy diet-- but its just normal for me and its not ahrd work to keep it up at all.

Sure weekends or the odd evening i`ll go out for a meal and have whatever, still generally stay away from stodge though

I disagree though. I have tried to eat peppers and onions and stuff like that, and I literally throw up (And I don't normally puke unless I want to), but this stuff just seriously makes me heave it all back out.

I looked at getting protein for protein drinks, but somebody told me you get through like a tub a month (and the tub was like £30), so that makes my healthy eating rocket from £30 for the gym, to £60 (Please correct me if this is wrong, as I would love to get some protein powder cheaper).

I like pasta, but only hot pasta, which kinda screws up having pasta for lunch for me. I am trying not to find excuses for things, but a lot of foods generally make me puke.

I really do want to fix my diet.

This is golden advice, golden. Pay attention to it, Jaz has laid out the athlete's method for you. It's all about blood sugar regulation, insulin sensitivity and ketosis. Fascinating field I'm currently geeking out learning all about for the same reasons as you. All I'd add is get to bed early, build up the exercise slowly over weeks and months so you don't burn out or lose the energy to keep it up. Oh and you may get withdrawal headaches from the artificial drinks detox as you'll no longer be on caffeine or sugar, just knowing this may happen and will only last a couple days at most, will help you bear with it until it subsides and your mood bounces back. Good luck!

PS

It's time to look at recipes that take the edge of your fear of veg. There's plenty of combinations with veg and sauces that are healthy. Like Jaz said, joining the gym is irrelevant. You're on the right path cycling to work though.

Thanks PostScript, I'm guna print out that advice and live by it.

I see all over the net talking about what foods to eat, but I just seem to find it harder cos I don't like most foods that are healthy.

Only reasons I goto the gym is because it hurts my back when I go jogging, to an extent that I literally have to stop (I use cross trainer instead at gym), and cos they have lots of weights so I can do some weight training as well..

And yeah I always notice it quite badly when I go without fizzy drinks for abit..

Edit:

I see your point Jaz, but I think there is a difference between not enjoying a meal, and not being able to swallow it because I heave and throw up everywhere.

I generally don't have a strong gag reflex, but eating the foods I really don't like just make me puke. I wish it didn't, but it does :(

You are right though, I haven't been really committed, and I probably would try harder with everything if I knew I was going to die. I will take a look at some recepies to make these foods possibly be swallow-able.

Thanks

I tend to carb cycle quite a lot
Generally follow a Paeolithic diet then add some carbs every few days.

Alot of the 14 stone is the fat belly, and fat ass.. I do drink a lot of fizzy drinks like coke etc.

I want to bulk up a little, but have a non-fat, toned stomach. I just don't want to feel like I have to breathe in if someone saw my body, which I do feel like that, cos I hate it at the moment.

I know its easily possible to lose it, but my head keeps tellin me its impossible. I need to get in control, sort out my diet and exercise more..

How does it work exactly, carb cycling? I need to incorporate it. It it just a day of high GI natural carbs, or the addition of them into a normal Paleo day? I don't understand it properly...

PS

Maybe a sideways photo would illustrate why I hate my belly? Shall I post one?

If its good wanking material im in!

Look at "juicing" your veg, as a temporary bridging method to get you past the veg mentality. Recipes online I imagine, I have a little book although it's not an issue for me. Might make it easier on the pallet and gut. Probably a mental thing tho. Just a little veg juice smoothie at first in the middle of a meal, then build it up. Not gonna kill you.

On your back, see a physio. You could be heel striking when you jog, land on the middle/front of your foot as nature intended. Youtube for videos of foot strike. But running comes later, build it up slowly.

PS

I'm grateful for all the advice.

I do have a blender, but I have been struggling to find anything on blending veg, although I guess I was using the wrong term.

I will cut out the carbs, and all the shitty fizzy drinks etc,
I will cancel the gym, and spend it on protein.
I will look up some veg blending receipes
I will binge eat once a week.
I will cycle to work, try some road running with better footing and do more press ups.

As for carbs, do I cut them out completely? Or do I just have a little amount?

I have read so much conflicting ideas online about quantities of protein, carb etc that I am just lost in it all.

When I lose the fat, I will have a before and after pic, which will really keep me motivated to keep fit.

There is an interesting parallel with reading too much PUA material and not taking action here. All you can do is take action and try out different ways. Obviously you need to stick with one method over a sustained period to see actual results.

Book: 200 juices & smoothies, by Hamlyn £4.99, prioritise veg go easy on the fruit
Protein/carbs ratio: each plate, half animal half plants, not a bad basic structure for now. Differing opinions but play with what makes you feel good. Carbs: if it's not going to go off in a few days, you can't eat it. Supermarket becomes an amusing place, aisles and aisles of stuff that's no good!
Fat: don't be afraid of a little butter or the fat on your meat, clean natural fat doesn't make you fat.

PS

I will take a look at that book..

I will also look at some lo-carb diets, and see what things people are eating..

low carb, low fat, high protein, lots of exercise.. Thanks!

Old School

Jaz & Postscript

Judgeing by the Ops opening post and mental attitude.

Telling him to blow all carbs out of his diet when he hates Veg, drinks fizzy 'pop' and doent exercise much is way too extreme, he will do it for a couple of days and be back to where he was..and feeling shit about himself again.

Ive seen it gazillions of times.
To affect long term change youve got to hit baby steps, phase it in, there is Diet and there is losing weight

Diet is a permanent state -- its better the OP has a permanent diet of healthy eating before moving onto losing weight and testing his will power.

Peace out Fat boys :)

So, do you think I should gradually phase out all the crap?
Like say I would drink 2 cans of coke a day, drop that to a couple a week, and things like that?

I'm trying to replace crap with good, by drinking blackcurrant and water today rather than fizzy coke.

I need to plan a healthy diet, so I can buy the stuff at the weekend and prepare for each week as it comes. When I fail to plan, I just eat crap all week.

I have tried before completely cutting out fizzy drinks, only to bounce back on to them a few days later.

You answered it yourself.

If you want a sugar fix eat some fruit (apple etc), least then you arent getting e-numbers and instead getting antioxidants etc into you

drink blackcurrent and water and have an apple
once youve gone a week without fizzies you are on the way to forming a permanent 'normal' habit.

Get the salad sandwiches into your diet-- if you have to, put a bit of low fat dressing on it to make it more palatable.

its just really simple easy stuff you can stick with.

Ok, it's time to play the "I'm a personal trainer" card again.

Typically, the reason someone would start going to the gym and then give up in the following weeks is because in their heart they want to do it, but they're just not excited or stimulated about going - which basically means you're not enjoying the exercise you're doing, therefore you need to change it.

There are so many forms of exciting exercise out there it's unreal. I spent about 18 months doing parkour three times a week, and it's sickeningly difficult, but horribly effective at burning the pounds and shed loads of fun (especially in summer). Alternatively (as already has been suggested) various martial arts will have the fat dripping off you. Personally (from experience) I can recommend good old fashion boxing and Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. Both will have you completely fucked, but again, lots and lots of fun.

Most PT's in gyms will give you a complimentary session (though if they're anything like me, they will assume the sale and try and book you in for paid sessions off the back of it, so watch out for that), but they're a good opportunity to be guided through some weights-based training that you may be unfamiliar with that you didn't know you'd enjoy.

Personally, if I was in your position (which I was once, and it was lunchtime military fitness classes that got me hooked on training again, which it what actually lead me to becoming a PT in the first place), I'd play around with various forms of physical activity to see what stimulates you, and go from there.

As for diet, that's a massive post in itself, but the advice dished out (no pun intended) here already will definitely point you in the right direction

I did try Krav Maga once a week, but I felt like I didn't really fit in, and I didn't know anybody, and everyone was ALOT more experienced and it was a small class.. so I cancelled it.

I do want to try some form of martial art. I have looked at Jui Jitsu (however you spell it) but I don't think there are any classes local to me (Near Mansfield, Notts). However there are many kung fu classes local.

My first goal is to go a week without any fizzy drinks, as of today. If I can make it past this weekend, that will be a major stepping stone. I am also looking at blending some veg, as I just can't stand it whole.

And also, as I type this, some work friends just invited me to go snowboarding once a month, so thats a plus!

see you are taking your first steps into action.
admit it you feel awseome already?

not dont be a cock and stick wtih it and pretty soon you will be DA MAN!

I think this all started around two situations:

1 - Split with my ex girlfriend, had major depressing few months, comfort eating most likely

2 - Getting with my new girlfriend, and letting go of my physique cos I felt I didn't need to try as much.

But now I am going to (was guna write "want to", but thats negative and future tense) get back in shape so I can feel proud of my body, and feel healthier, and do some cool sports like martial arts and snowboarding. Thats my mission.

I think I'm guna cancel the gym, buy some weights for home, and start running, maybe even on a school running track after hours. Then I can spend more money on my diet and sports.

Actually you know I don't disagree with your point. That's why I tempered it a little with talk of detox, juicing to break the veg mentality, rest, bit of fruit...etc, try to break the patterns and make it a bit more do-able. Although for me any sort of half measure doesn't work, if I give the compulsion any sort of encouragement, it's all over. Working too, can actually see my feet now, but not the old chap...yet.

PS

I second what jaz says.

Thing to do is hit the worst offenders first.

Sugar loaded drinks are absolutely the worst thing for weight control (and that includes "Natural" fruit drinks and sugar in tea/coffee etc) and your health generally - they massively raise your insulin making you hungry all the time, not to mention rotting your teeth and putting you at risk of diabetes.

Next on the list is anything else with high refined sugar content.

Next thing to eliminate is starchy white foods.

Tackle those and you will feel less hungry due to reduced insulin levels so a virtuous cycle kicks in. Then you can work your way to a more hard core program as jaz outlines.

As far as exercise goes, despite popular belief, weight/resistance training is actually much better for weight control than lots of cardio/running and has lots of other benefits such as increasing your bone density, lean muscle mass, ligament and join strength etc. Buy a cheap ass barbell and weights (from tescos or something) and do some dead-lifts at the very least.

You can have some chocolate, in fact it's good for you, as long as it is at least 75% cocoa.

Loosing weight is like PUA or anything else for that matter you practice it, get better and wander what all the fuss was about. Two simple concepts for loosing weight, hormonal balance, and calorie expenditure.

I'll keep hormonal balance simple and defined to one hormone that has probably the biggest impact on weight loss (or lack of) INSULIN. Insulin levels surge up from increased blood sugar levels by eating high sugar foods cut the candy, coke, cookies, chocolate and crap out and thats already enough for most people to loose weight. Some argue you should cut most carbs out your diet but truth be told this is completely unecessary I've put so money people on carb rich diets and they have had great success shedding 20+pounds just makesure they are good sources of carbs i.e. fibre rich keeping blood sugar levels constant throughout the day so foods like potatoes, brown bread pasta or rice are all good (mind pasta is surprisingly calorie dense)

Secondly and more importantly calorie expenditure. Basically everyone has a certain requirement of calories a day depending on multiple factors i.e. age, weight, height, body temperature, and activity level to name the main ones. This individual energy requirement is known as thw BMR (Basal metabolic rate) not to be confused with BMI which is Body Mass Index. Your BMR is basically the amount of calories your body needs a day to perform all its normal bodily functions i.e. working organs, a beating heart.

Find out what your BMR is (literally type BMR calculator on google, you'll find loads) This will give you a good indication of how many calories your body requires a day. To keep it simple either subtract 500 calories a day from this figure if you are sedentry and aim for this many calories a day (yes! this means looking on the back of packets all the time for the first week, but you soon learn to memorise these figures) Alternatively if you execise regularly and by that I mean atleest 5 times a week for half an hour per session stick to consuming the amount of calories the BMR calculator provides.

One excuse I hear way to often for not calorie counting is 'But this pack of *random food item* only gives the nutritional values per 100 grams, how do I measure how much to have?' Answer: Use scales?!?!?

Good luck.

drop gym, 90% of weight loss is nutrition
 

Don't worry so much about gym. Gym does speed up weight loss a bit, but 90% of weight loss is your diet. Gym kicks in more when you want to gain muscle mass.

Diet is not too hard. Just count calories (it's annoying for the first week, then it's no brainer): you need 1800 kcal a day if you do office work. To lose weight, get less. You can easily make it with 1000-1200 a day.

To combat hunger eat calory-irrelevant snacks some times a day, eg: coffee,
tea (no packed ice tea, it contains lots of sugar), energy drinks etc.
Use coffee/energy drinks only to get over the wall, they shit you in the long run.

For example you can go:
* breakfast: 250ml cup of milk (no cookies), and one fruit if you want
* lunch: salad mix and a 500ml milkshake
* dinner: salad and some lean cheese or lean meat

Salad is cool because it's in the base block of the food pyramid, and it stuffs you without carrying too many cals.

Try to follow nutrition tips from competent sites rather than random beliefsm, e.g. see Drew Baye on Why Everything You Know About Nutrition And Exercise is Wrong for some more infos.

u have red that surely from weight watchers!!! coz that is bollocks.... ur tellin me that in a years training, cardio workout 5 days a week will only reduce ur weight by an added 10% to if u just eat properly

nonsense

Sorry but thats a complete pile of wank

If you diet and dont do any muscular conditioning you lose muscle mass, therfore reducing your resting BMR permanently--so in future you will actually find it easier to put weight on because the amount of calories you burn at rest is lower.

Dieting with no exercise is absolutly ridiculous and is the reason you see bitches day in and day out for years on this and that crappy fad diet trying to lose weight
exercise is not just about burning calories while exercising but actually carrying some muscle mass allows you to burn more calories while lieing in bed.

Calorie cutting is disproven, even mentioning cookies is banal, milkshakes are for children and full of sugar, cheese is fat not lean by definition, and the food pyramid has presided over decades of obesity proliferation. Either you mean well but didn't understand the video link you posted at all, or you're up to no good posting a link to daygame.com which I think Jaz et all, hate.

PS

I don't even know where to begin here! Props for coming out and saying all this man.

I'll preface what I say with the fact that I used to be 18-19 stones worth of lard and flab and I took it upon myself to change the bits of my life that I was unhappy with and the foremost of those was my diet and exercise regime. I'm now 15 stone and around 15% body fat which isn't too bad. Everything I say will have been from personal experience and I'll rank what I say in terms of importance to your goal.

1. Sort out your diet.

This doesn't necessarily mean giving up the things you like, but it may mean compromise. A bottle of Diet Coke has 3 calories in it. A bottle of regular Coke has 215 calories in it.

Look at food labels and learn how many calories are in things. Keep a food diary of how much you eat (foodfocus.co.uk is brilliant for this) and you'll soon get an idea of the things you need to cut out.

2. Calorific Deficits work

What worked for me was working out how many calories I needed to maintain weight and then eating less that that for a prolonged period of time. You can have days where you eat at maintenance or have a nice meal, but as long as on average, over the week, you have a deficit. You'll lose weight. I personally don't trust any diet which isn't based around that principle so for now my advice would be to keep it simple - Energy In vs Energy Out, if you want to subscribe to insulin, carb cycling etc. over and above that then fine, but don't lose sight of the fact that a calorific deficit is the basics, and carb cycling etc. is fine tuning.

Find some foods you like that can accomodate a calorie deficit. I'll give you some examples of things I like:

Stir fry: 200g chicken breast + Whatever vegetables you like + 80g Noodles + 1 pack of stir fry sauce = less than 600 calories.

Chicken Breast Sandwich: 2 x slices of medium sliced bread + 60g chicken breast = less than 300 calories.

3. Exercise

Do something you enjoy and will keep up. From the sounds of it, this isn't the gym and it doesn't have to be major sports etc. either. Something as simple as walking to work is a good start and you never know, as you become more active, you might fell like you have more energy for the gym.

One thing I would say however is to get some personal training sessions before you quit the gym. There are millions of ways to burn calories in a gym, over and above cardio machines. If you're sitting on an ellipictal machine for 20 minutues or longer and this is the crux of your workout, then chances are it's the fact that you're bored in the gym that's stopping you from going!

Anyways keep the faith. Don't try to do too much too soon, and remember that Rome wasn't built in a day! But at the same time don't lose sight of your goal bud!

Respectfully, I disagree! Where did youy read this?

The energy deficit theory is based on the first law of thermodynamics (I believe), however they conveniently forgot that a caveat on the law is that it requires a closed system. A human is obviously not a closed system.

It's not an accident that calorie counting as the method of weight loss has failed as the spread of obesity has trampled all over it..although there are myriad other factors of course.

Part of the problem is that it's too short sighted, it's not sustainable in most people, especially alongside exercise and a stressful career...etc. People tend to rebound against it and yo-yo diet, although healthier younger people can get away with it more easily perhaps. You definitely can lose weight with a caloric deficit, but that is not the same thing as whether you should, nor whether need a calorific deficit to lose weight, nor indeed whether it's good for you.

Charles Poliquin (arguably the worlds premier strength coach) has thoroughly disproven it, it's torn to bit's in a book called The Obesity Epidemic (author's name escapes me at the mo), there are quite a few well respected names who think it's specifically what you eat, not overeating itself.

You don't need to restrict your calories if you're not eating grains and other such crap, and lifting...etc, besides on natural food, satiety kicks in. It's one of those things that's ahead of it's time, and everyone will resist it because it's not what's been drummed into us for years.

Don't take my word for it, do your own research if you want and see what you come up with. I did, as well as taking the advice of one or two well placed specialists. I'm persuaded by the logic but have a look for yourself, you can get into all sorts around this to do with hormone regulation and whatnot, it's fascinating stuff.

PS

No, I didn't read that from weight watchers. No, I don't mean that cardio 5 times a week is useless. No, I don't mean that diet helps you keep or build mass.

I mean that danieljamie wants to lose weight, and that given the same amount of time and effort diet gets you results faster than exercise, so he better focus on that. A tough workout for unused people burns 600 kcal and takes 1-2 hours. With diet you can cut 1200 and save 1 hour of cooking.
Additionally, people often eat snacks and energy supplements after workouts for the "feel good" factor, which kills 50% of the set.

As to calories deficit, it's physics: a kilogram of fat is 7-8000 kcal, and your body works out of energy. You don't kick in enough, it will burn it from fat.

Bottom line: if you want to lose weight, diet is just simpler, faster and more trackable than exercise. If you have time and brains to implement well both, then welcome.