True

Also interested into what Knave has to say.

..and just when I was singing praises of your intent level as well SE lol I've been in your position before. Plenty of times. A case of so near yet so far. In my case, I wouldn't go in for the makeout 'coz I would be too attached to the outcome. "What if she refused? What if me making a move now spoils our vibe forever?" etc etc. In the end, nothing would happen and I would go back home with a sinking feeling that it was an opportunity lost. No good.

As a result I have decided to make a move at the first available opportunity with a chick. Why not! (Doesn't always happen that way lol but that's the attitude I want to have)

On how to recover from this, I'd suggest text this girl with the genuine concern which you seem to have to make sure she's ok. I would. Plant a seed for the next meet with something like "..next time we meet, I'm going to have to watch over your alcohol intake.. gosh girl, you sure can't handle it beyond a point! :P" And the next time you meet her, go in for a hug and instant makeout. Set the scene for the evening. Gawd, you've felt up her tits man! What are you waiting for?! Close baby.. Close!!! It's time to take her out of the venue and safely home.

No more waiting in the wings for the right moment. It never comes. I should know :-)

I think PostScript is bang on.

And I do think you were being a bit too needy last night with her - I think we have all been there at some point, I still have similar problems as we were discussing last night after her disappearance. As much as you try to hide your -for lack of a better word- desperation over a particular girly, it always comes across.

Then again, something that has occurred to me is the fact that she did sort of frame her visit as a fleeting appearance - she was already out with other friends and came over to see you, so she may have intended to return to them all along anyway. That's no excuse for not letting you know and disappearing without a word, but as you pointed out yourself, she was hammered. It would be different if she left you completely on your own, no mates with you.

Also, you were the only person she knew there, amongst us and your work mates. Then an old school friend -who she hasn't seen in years- appears out of nowhere. Tbh, I can understand why her attention would shift.

Essentially, what I'm saying is that from what you told me last night, what I saw, and what I have now read, you did nothing particularly wrong at all. It all seems right to me. I think you may be overanalysing things, and beating yourself up because of past fuck-ups. Text her about your genuine concerns, but also tell her off for abandoning you without a word.

Much love,

Craigus

Yeah it was always meant to be a fleeting visit.

I was being needy, but don't really know how I could have handled it differently when she kept running off (that does sound bad!). Just left her to it I suppose and done my own thing. Kind of felt responsible for her as she had come to see me.

GLG: You can ignore this - I'm still a hero in your eyes haha (even when you're stealing birds off me on the dance floor!!)

This might help you get it back on.

http://www.puaforum.co.uk/seduction-...html#post46743

Good luck mate she sounds quite tidy.

I like Knave's link as it is all about the intent, not the content.

Maestro is right too, you are too hard on yourself, I bet 99% of us on here are.

Give yourself a break, you can't control everything all the time.

PS

i really like reading your field reports. you write them really well! i try to go out with the mentality that 'im the prize' and that any girl should be lucky to talk to me. The good side is that i never come across as needy, the problem is i have been told i can come across as being a arrogant!
But hey you live in london you lucky sod there must HB's everywhere!

There are lots of hotties in London! This is true.

I hate it when girls act needy! Felt like a real hypocrite writing this field report.

I never did contact her yesterday. The more I think about it she behaved like a real arse too! I am just blinded by the fact she is a dancer and has nice feeling skin. Thought it was all my fault. Not true.

I thought I didn't act needy, but looking back this may be because all my sexual relations in the last few years have been very short term. As soon as I have an investment in them I do turn to shit! This being a good example. It's almost like I send out needy pheromones to them. Sometimes even if I'm not in contact with them.

A girl from the other week who I honestly cared very little about. Shagged her. She was well into me was contacting me way more than I was her. Then she sent me a text one evening that really endeared towards her. At that moment my mind changed to you know what I really like her. Next thing I knew she didn't text back and had to cancel our date the next evening. I haven't heard from her since and now unsure where I stand.

Another example was this American girl who was over here and I had a awesome couple of weeks with. She was planning on moving back to the UK for work. She was also really into me and had indicated she wanted to get a bit more serious with me. I know this as we had a mutual friend. I thought this was all a bit silly as we had only known each other two weeks and it was a complete holiday romance 101. It would be cool if we hooked up again, but that's it. I was then speaking to my mates one evening who were like what are you thinking, I've never seen you with a fitter girl, she should be your bird. (They also knew the mutual friend so knew what she had been saying.) My mind-set again changed from yeah you know what she should be my girlfriend when she comes here. I got a message a few days later saying she wasn't moving here and she had met someone else. Probably a coincidence, but spooked me a little. It's like they can sense I have just put them on a pedestal even when they are half way across the world! (Also taught me listen to yourself not others.)

If anyone ever sees me acting needy or neurotic about a girl please tell me I am being a dickhead

Seconded.

A first date should always be somewhere where there is little probability of meeting either your friends or hers. Most girls feel very uneasy being out at night without someone they know around so having the only person they know being you works strongly in your favour.

In the event you do bump into a friend (her or yours) bounce to another venue immediately. Pretend to answer your phone - a mate just asked to meet you somewhere else, tell her you will bring her back a bit later to see her mate. Oh dear, said mate inst here well lets just stay here anyway.

duplicate post, doh