I want my control back
 

Pretty rubbish weekend with the new ex bird. I went out with her, and her mate played gooseberry.

My bird told me that she was going to some party in another city the next night and she was going to stay over on a mate's setee, so we wouldn't see each other. I'd had a bit to drink so I got a bit pissed off about this.

Seeing as we were supposed to be a couple, if someone had invited me to a party I would have invited her too. I told her, "Fine, two can play at that game, the next time I'm going to a party I won't invite you."

Later in the night her mate wanted to go into some bar. We went in and there were at least ten men for every woman. I was annoyed, as I found the vibe lascivious but her mate loved it (of course she did). We argued about that too.

We left and went to another outdoor bar. There were two guys and one of them touched my bird's mate's arse. My bird complained to me about it so I went to have a word with him. Apparently I got a bit alpha with him and he jabbed me one in the nose. Immediately I dealt him a hefty haymaker to the eye nearly knocking him off his feet. That pretty much knocked the fight out of him.

Again my bird started to argue with me, saying, "Darling, I'm already attracted to you, you don't have to behave like that. Why do you always have to be the alpha male?" I said, "So why did you complain to me about him if you didn't want me to take action?"

I slept at hers that night and she was trying to be sweet with me but I was still pissed off about her just going off to parties whenever she feels like it. The following day I recieved a text from her saying, "Hey danny, you can't come to my house again and i am not sure about our relationship eather...and please don't think that this has anything to do with the fact that i'm going to cat(ania where the party is) to see my friends now.it is rather about your immature and exaggerated behaviour and different ways of seeing things/lack of understanding.So I just need some time to think it over and please don't call me now.let's speak when i'm back."

I sent her one back saying, "Ok babe,I get it, don't worry.Lets just leave it at that.We tried.I have some very nice memories.No hard feelings.x"

Later she sent me one saying, "Darling, i'm thinking of you, i have very nice memories too..x"

I sent her another message saying that if I did or said anything stupid it came from a place of love.

Since then, she has come back and sent me this message: Hey, thanks for your message, i really appeciate that and it made me happy to hear that, and i know u only had good intentions, so did i.But i just can't handle being in a proper relationship with u and i just needed a moment for myself. Maybe we can meet tomo after my salsa class? X

I responded that I did not like the tone of "just can't handle being in a proper relationship with u", and I told her that I will not be her plaything.

I don't know what my next move should be. A few days ago she was crazy about me, telling me that she was in love with me and just wanted to spend all her time with me and now this bollocks. I want the control back. Any ideas??

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, she is on the period.

I keep fighting the urge to call her too.

chasin for control = loss of

I'm aware of that. What should I do next?

It's so much easier to stay in control when your emotions are not in it.

Take a chill pill, slow it down, hang out like friends would, act indifferent, subtly maintain and build on the attraction with kino, suggestion, push pull ect. make her want you again with laid back awesomeness and fun times and be the one who gets to make the call.

That's what I'm gonna do. Scrambling for control is like trying to climb a landslide.

This obviously happened exactly as it is described here.

control comes to you... it is when the other person realises a change in pattern when their mindset change!! thats why its hard to gain control coz while ur head is everywhere, they dont even realise anythin is up!!