So...

I went out thursday, the girls where SHIT!!

i went out with a mate of mine who it seems girls jaws drop when they see him... which i like coz now im not havin to put up with fumin girls bein palmed off with the ugly mate, im now the ugly one

so were playin about seen sum girl rite up my street little 5 footer... said

Wow, u r RIGHT up my street, how small r u??? do u have heels on...

I picked her up and sat her on my shoulder, asked her wer she was from

"west kirby" (not to be mistaken for Kirby) she replied... so i put her down, walked away and said CALL ME!!! then laffed and said righ u im takin u on a date

somewer nice tho coz ur a bit fit, maccies sound good?? so ends up with the number...

walks outside, chattin up some girl... she says .. arent u phil?? well flabbergasted i said erm... what did i do...

turns out it was a stripper i asked out a while back but i never took it nowhere really. i laffed and said IMAGINE ME HITIN ON U TWICE IN A LIFETIME... as she gettin in her taxi i said, Give me ur number "i cant" she said...

at that moment some little prick started givin me shit proper in my face and then jumped in the taxi, so i ended up dragin him out the taxi like a drunken nob (altho he defo deserved it) and i wont go into too much detail abar that ... (coz i got done in) lol. he deserved what he got tho so ANYWAYS

i text the first girl yesterday, tellin her id lost my parrot & had she seen it, it was a top of the range parrot.

after some textin i said... So, wanna do somethin this week... she replied exactly this

Nope im busy all week xxxx

i replied,

Ha i like it x

which i do, i am so glad she didnt eat out of my hand. So im happy i have a lil peice of challenge and she fit... all in all decent night (apart from the fightin)

stripper to male ratio 5:1 in liverpool.

ye but FIT STRIPPER is a diff kettle of fish... so much so i hit on her twice.

its not the fact they are strippers that i like em... its the fact they r fit, and sexy... and mostly slags

haha, phil's posts look like a 14 year old girl's text message.

I solved the problem here Phil. You asked her rather than telling her. Out of character to say the least.

that sketch is fuck quality.. harry enfields scousers are boss

i know... i told her when i met her... just not via the text..

on thing i am curious over is wether it would have made a difference.

honestly.. this may sound like shit but im tired of havin too much control all the time, telling them whats happenin means they will a) follow suit of b) not get involved. which is fine if ur just lookin to smash it, but i dont seem to have have a spark with a girl for ages, i mentioned the other day in a post i was gonna try being a little bit less forward, see how it works out for me. i think i mite be on the hunt for a GF...

i dunno im in a weird place, keep havin dreams abar bein in love an that its doin my head in. it wont leave me be.

How about telling them "where do you want me to cum - arse, pussy or mouth" - courtesy of Swype

Guaranteed Phil fights like this

YouTube - Dennis Pennis Kung Fu Hooligan 'BETTER QUALITY'