I'd like to stick my oar in at this point and say a couple of things.

Firstly, well done on losing those canned openers CO! It was such a revelation when it happened to me - opening sets becomes less of a big deal and you'll find yourself doing it more often and with less of a fuss. You'll also find your state, rather than spiking, begins to gradually increase. Remember the hot glowing coal Tyler was always on about? That's what you'll get, as opposed to opinion openers which cause spikes of state and the searing brush...thing. You know what I mean!

Also, the RAS. The RAS is, as the name suggests, an asset of the reticular formation which is involved, as CO has correctly said, with the sleep-wake cycle, anaesthesia and levels of conciousness. It is also thought to involve the processing of visual information in order to decide which requires the most attention, ie which is most likely to kill you or allow you to survive and reproduce. It receives input from a huge variety of sources within the brain, and has projections to many areas of the brain, including (ultimately) the cerebellum, an area responsible for coordinating movement. Ever wondered why you "jump" when startled? Furthermore, when you're pumped on adrenaline, the system is enhanced and you react to such stimuli quicker due to the presence of adrenergic and noradrenergic neurons in the RAS.

It would seem, therefore, that Tyler (by accident or otherwise) is pretty much bang on the money. That man is a fountain of knowledge!

This forum has got to be the most intellectual pick up forum out there!

Oh and well done Covey baby! But shouldn't your name be changing to Overt now?

Blanca - is it me getting RAS wrong then, and misunderstanding Tyler's concept of it? Since listening to it I've been thinking how in work, for example, my RAS is often zoned in on my monitor and not on what's going on around me, until someone says my name a few times and eventually catch my attention, at which point my 'RAS' readjusts so I take notice of them... But as K says elsewhere, this is also to do with the brain's executive network 'turning the volume down' on things (senses) you don't need. But from what you and the Wiki article are saying, its more to do with levels of alertness, and to do with the mind prompting the physical body to respond in high intensity situations.

I've probably got this wrong!

Tom - It is pretty intellectual stuff - boss huh!

RE: The name. I've been thinking of changing it for a little while. OvertOperation has a ring to it I think... But I'd also have to have the name of this thread changed - if Admin let us know if that's possible, then lets do it!

Tell me about it, I have low latent inhibition, it is both a blessing and a curse at times.

Last night... Well it sort of felt frustrating, but maybe I'm just expecting way too much too soon.

I opened 4 sets in total:

1. 4 girls sat on the chairs in Heebie Jeebies. I only opened them for a warm up, asking them about the band who were playing. Cool.

2. 2 girls at the bar in Bar CaVa. Talking to them about Tequila. I should have stuck in this set, came out too quickly.

3. 2 girls outside while we were having a smoke. That was a really great conversation. We just asked them where is fun to go, and led into a conversation from there (great winging work from Relentless here!).

4. Another 2 set in Hannah's bar. I used a canned opener - asking them about guys wearing ugg boots. But I kicked out of the opener as quickly as I could, and led into normal conversation. I stuck in set and isolated with a girl, HB5, but didn't close. Because she was HB5. She was cool though. A vet. I asked her what her favorite animal to practice on was. She said 'A dog'. I thought she said 'A log'. We carried on talking for 30 seconds, she was describing operating on a dog, I thought she was talking about operating on a log... It was funny, we laughed, we did fists, I critiqued her fist technique (oo er, etc), we laughed more, I went kino a little. She was cool.

Only now do I wish I'd done a 'bark' joke in the midst of our dog/log confusion. That'd have worked on so many levels.

So last night, on the face of it, was a good night. But, I was angry and frustrated with myself. This is because, three times, I bottled out of opening sets. This is simply unacceptable.

The first bottled set was in Heebies. A two set. I wanted to open them with a non-opinion opener, and wanted to just go up and tell them I thought they were cool. So, I turned, walked towards them... and then as I approached they locked into a conversation together, and I couldn't see an opening. I walked right past. Annoying.

The second bottled set was in Revolution. Relentless and I were playing a few improv games to get our brains ticking over and our larynxes lubricated, when I spied a three set sat at a table around from us. This set was just dying to be opened. The music in Revs was fairly low key, the bar was cool and laid back, it would have opened up nicely. But at no point did I break off and go for it.

And the third was in Hannah's bar. There was a 2 set, including a blonde girl, HB9. She was gorgeous. They were looking over at Relentless and I, making it pretty obvious. That was my que to jump in.

If she was an HB6, I'd have swooped in mercilessly like a rabid eagle clawing at a helpless little vole.

But she wasn't a helpless little vole. She was an HB9. And I wasn't a rabid eagle. I was a useless pigeon. So I just stood there.

So as much as I did open a few sets, I don't feel that progress was made. More, the sets that I bottled angered me more than the sets that I opened pleased me. I'm top class at opening low value sets. But I get intimidated when opening high value sets, to the point that I can't do it.

And that's so annoying.

........But on the upside, right where we stopped for a cigarette, we noticed someone had mysteriously scrawled the letters "CO" on the wall, as if they knew I was coming!

Random huh...

While the forum has been down, Simply David, Darood and Sapmi were kind enough to come and live in my house for a night! :D

Personally I was up for a quiet game of Monopoly and an early night, but they seemed keen to go out, so I buckled and we headed into Liverpool.

I've got to say it was tremendous fun! If nothing else, I thoroughly enjoyed Friday night. Man Of The Match goes to Roody, who frankly blew the girls of Liverpool away with a performance second to none! There can't have been a set in Liverpool which he didn't open on Friday. Sap was top class as well - and I'm stealing his opener of 'Hello, how are you' (yes, it really is that easy to open. I know because I saw him do it!) next time I go out. And Dave gave a master class in simply being sociable, to the point that he befriended a top class Moroccan guy who joined us for the rest of the night.

Guys, you're all absolutely top class, and you're welcome to stay at mine any time you're around (and don't mind sleeping in a shit tip!).

I want to just go over three sets that stood out in my mind from the night, and then one or two wee lil observations about my approach generally.

Set one: In the outside courtyard of Heebie Jeebies. Dave spotted a two set over to one side, and said it was my set to open (this is a point I want to return too - I shouldn't need telling to open sets. More in a second). He suggested I ask them what they're talking about. So, that was my opener. I walked up to them and said 'Guys, what are you talking about?'. They looked at me perplexed, so I continued: 'Its just I've noticed that out of everyone here, you guys are clearly having the best conversation. I can't not be part of it'.

This kicked on into a good set. The girls said they were Greek, and one of them was doing a PhD, all of which gave ample room for conversation. Sap came and winged one of the girls away, while I isolated with another. I began to escalate and push kino upwards, but she wasn't having any of it. Her arms remained folded, and she kept her body closed to me. I didn't push any further, and ejected a short while after. But the biggest thing about this for me was just the opening. Regular readers will know I'm trying to scoot away from canned opinion openers. They're inauthentic, they funnel you into a narrow conversation when you fail to transition quickly enough, and I simply don't like doing them. With Dave's help, I used an opener which was... well, open!

A New CovertOperation Opening Theory

There are closed openers and open openers. The former will cause you problems, because it draws you into a narrow conversation. Use the opener a few times, and you will get all possible responses within a few sets. Your reactions will then be similar every time you use the opener, making it a routine. You're no longer interacting with a girl. You're just reading off a script.

An example of a closed opener (one I've been very loyal too previously), and the responses you'll get 95% of the time:

You: Girls, a quick question. Do you prefer custard hot or cold?

Girls: [Will say either] hot / cold / I don't like custard

Its a closed opener. There is a high probability you'll get one of a finite number of responses. The few times when a girl surprises you with an unusual answer, you'll be so surprised at not having a stock answer to respond with that you'll not know what the fuck to say.

Open openers are the way to go. These can be like the one Dave suggested - 'What are you guys talking about?'. If they ask why, which I assume they will, just tell them 'Well you're obviously having fun, I gotta see what it's all about'. Its simple, its easy, and thanks to being an open opener, there are any number of responses.

You: Guys! What the bloody hell are you talking about?

Girls: We're talking about travelling / work / this wacky YouTube video of a cat playing the keyboard / Swansea / etc.

From there, just go with it. This is a major priority for me now - to work open openers into my game everywhere I turn. I've made a good start. Time now to really hammer that one home.

Set two: We headed to the basement for some dance floor action. Heebs is pretty cool, they play motown stuff downstairs, and if you get there early enough you don't even get packed into the dance floor so tightly that you can't move! When we got there it wasn't too busy at all. A two set were dancing away to one side. We ignored them to begin with and just started having a dance ourselves. We were there on our terms, having fun amongst ourselves. Surely this is the single biggest 'rule' of dance floor game: fun comes first. Girls second, and the most sure fire way to get blown out on a dance floor is to make it obvious that you're only there for girls.

After a few minutes of us dancing away, one of the two girls - the taller blonde one - stopped dancing and caught my eye. We held each others stare for a few seconds. I turned, and carried on dancing, pretending it hadn't happened.

As I did, i quietly scolded myself. What - the - FUCK?!? She could have held up one of those electronic signs you can put in the back of your car, full of little red LEDs, which is supposed to scroll words like 'Keep Your Distance' or 'Baby On Board' or something; reprogrammed it to read 'I Would Like You To Come And Dance With Me Please. Yes You. Right There, In The Leather Jacket With The Brown Hair', held it up in front of me, sang the chorus to the hit Whitney Houston song I Wanna Dance With Somebody, and it wouldn't actually have been any more obvious that she wanted me to go and dance with her.

But I'd bottled it. No way around it. I'd bottled it. And I knew I'd bottled it. I kicked myself, the words of one of my own field reports flashing through my head: "These are the open goals of pick up".

A minute later, and it happened again. She locked eyes with me, and I held her gaze once more. This time, I stung myself into action, dancing right over to her, grabbing her hand, and spinning her around. We danced for a few minutes, and it was pretty fun. I tried to make the dancing fun - I hate 'serious dancing'. Its only good when you're good at it, and I'm not good at dancing. I'm good at dancing like a pillock, which isn't a bad thing. But I'm not good at dancing seriously. So I tried to perform various pillocky dance moves with her, which went fairly well.

After a short while, she leant over my shoulder, and asked me my name. So I told her. Then she asked me my age. So I told her. Then she asked me how old I thought she was. I said 18 (she clearly wasn't - it turned out she was 30 - but I'd never seriously try and guess a girls age. You're entering a potential nuclear minefield which isn't worth going into). The conversation bored me though. We were in the middle of a dance floor, and she wanted to play guessing games. Fuck that.

I seem to remember her friend pulled her away at one point, and we didn't stick around. Dave did spot that she'd gone alone to take a seat to one side of the dance floor - an obvious invitation for me to reopen - but I didn't want to push. I didn't really fancy her, and the conversation hadn't exactly made me eager to go back for more.

I'm such a conversation fascist.

Another CovertOperation Theory

I need to get this 'eye contact' thing handled. You don't always get second chances, so make the first ones count. Girls give you eye contact all the time when you're out. 2 or 3 times a night, I'll catch some girl looking at me for longer than is necessary (if there is such a thing). Until now, I've always bottled it. Looked away, pretended it hasn't happened, failed to act.

So, I've come up with a protocol to follow, the underpinning emphasis of which focusses on acknowledgement followed by action. Very simply, when a girl looks at you for any amount of time, a small window of opportunity opens. When it does, you need to leap through it. The first thing I propose doing in the future is acknowledging the eye contact, in a fun way. So, this involves waving at the girl, grinning and giving her a thumbs up, smiling - fucking anything. But do something which says 'I know you're looking at me, and now you know I know you're looking at me'.

And then - take action. Once you've got your smile / wave / thumbs up / theatrics out the way, the very next thing you do should be to go and talk to her. That's the easy bit, and you don't even need an opener. She's invited you over, pretty much. So go and say hello. This is what I want to bear in mind next time I'm out: Acknowledgement, and Action. Fuck, if anything it beats the protocol I use now of OhFuckPretendThatDidntHappen.

Set three: This set was opened by Sap, who opened a two set in the court yard of Heebies. I winged in, and pulled away with one of the girls who I began to game myself. We had a great conversation, all about cockney accents (Sap being a cockney wide boy and all :D) and we began to compare our own cockney accents. I was about to perform a feat of pick up mastery, taking her around the court yard to speak to other groups in our fake cockney accents and see who could be the most convincing (this would have been spectacular - leading, dominant, confident, alpha, showing her I wasn't afraid to go and speak to anyone in the whole place) when her friend turned to her and said 'Drinks!', pointing up at one of the bars. They turned and hastened up the steps to the upstairs bar, beckoning Sap and I to follow. We did, although when we got upstairs we left them to go to the bar whilst we stayed back. That was the end of the interaction.

I've thought back over this one a little - and I'd be interested for Sap's thoughts on where we lost it - but I reckon they were taking us to the bar in the hope we'd buy them some drinks. Also, I think we missed a trick by following them so intently. When they said 'We're going to get drinks, come on', we both followed obediently. Perhaps here we should have said 'No problem, see you when you get back, bring me a beer' - and then made sure we opened some other sets before they returned. By following them upstairs, I think we might have scuppered any attraction... Although again, I'd be interested to hear Sap's thoughts.

So, that was Friday. One final thought before I leave, and coming back to something I mentioned earlier. For the Greek set I opened, Dave told me 'its your set'. The last few times I've been out, I've just not opened enough. I've needed to be told, or I've needed to have a conversation with my wing which goes 'Ok, so is it my set?'.

Dave has said that Friday was fun because we just had fun, and girls were a part of that fun but not the sole reason for that fun. Ergo, don't just go out to meet girls. They should be a part of the night, but not the purpose of the night. And he's absolutely correct there. However, at times lately, when out, I've started to forget to include girls in the night. Its difficult for me to articulate this. But I no longer open at the rate that I used too 2 or 3 months ago. The other night, there should have been more times when I just looked around for a set, turned, and opened. That wouldn't have violated the 'fun' aspect of the night in anyway (what is it they say - when you analyse fun you're no longer having fun? Hmm...). This is something else to work with over the coming weeks. Go out, and have fun. But remember, open as well. You must open.

Action Points

1. Openers - use open openers more, and also, learn to simply introduce myself to girls.
2. Eye contact - acknowledge, and act. The first of these will prevent me from pretending it didn't happen. The second will mean something comes of these opportunities.
3. Make things happen - I can feel I'm regressing slightly into my pre-PickUp mindset of 'wait for the opportunities to present themselves'. Sometimes when you go out, these opportunities do present themselves. Girls will open you occasionally, you'll just happen to get talking to someone, you'll get lucky. But more often than not, you need to make your own luck. Each of us has the power to make things happen. Its actually very simple - you just fucking do it. I need to drill this into myself next time we go out. Have fun, but bear in mind that the power to make things happen lies only with me.

Over analysis aside (I over analyse everything... Which isn't a particularly good thing!), I had a top time the other night! I felt like I learned a few important bits and pieces, and simply spent time with some top fellers! :)

I'll be in Manchester next weekend (I would have come over tonight, but having wasted most of my day in the pub watching football and the truly hopeless Liverpool - who in themselves were more than enough of a reason to drink heavily - I'm in no fit state to drive right now!), and I can't wait to see y'all!

In the meantime, I'll let Keyboard Cat play me out.

Love you all,
Co

Keyboard cat RULES!! lol..............
With that set, I interpreted it as them wanting us to accompany us to the bar, rather than buy them a drink...I would have just ordered a water anyway.....a way we could have played it was to get them to buy us drinks...give them the cash...that would have locked them into us...so slight misunderstanding...but you live and learn ;)....
Thanks for your hospitality CO! I enjoyed the Asda pizza ;)

Resonate!
 

Quality! I've been beating myself up recently because I just simply don't approach enough. This statement resonates through me because this is exactly where I am. Something that I will elaborate in my post later. I need (NEED NEED NEED!) to over come. Procrastination is a plauge of the AFC and I need to destroy it!

It's great that we're at the same place on path Covert! Soz I couldn't get up to Liverpool this weekend mate... literally spent a god damn fortune this month! Haa! Maybe next month mate!

Thanks for having us Co - I had a really good night and - you rock.

Its win win baby, the Manchester guys taught me good. You're all awesome and you know it. x

A few points if I may Sir.... open ended openers are great, but you do need chicks with a certain intelligence/maturity level to have the conversation work. I wouldn't use them on every girl on a night out. You also need a certain low level of noise that Heebie Jeebies definately had - in which case - they're bang on the money. x

Disclaimer - I dont tell people its their set as a habit, its not what I usually do. But to keep the momentum on a night out you need to be talking to people, the set could just have equally been two guys, but the set you opened was awesome, open ended and social. Masterfully done. x

:clapclap:

P.s - YouTube - Keyboard Cat: True Internet Story

An absolute pleasure mate! I’m also starting the Official CovertOperation Liverpool Tour Guide Company, following our successful walking tour of the city centre! :D

We’re all on the same path mate. Everyone in pick up is at a different stage of development, with different abilities and different experience. The difference between us and a lot of others is, we’ve got the tenacity to stick with it. A lot of people will go ‘this is too hard, fuck it’.

Not us! I’m right there with you mate, I’m sure we’ll wing in Manchester again soon enough.

In fact I can’t wait!

Indeed I didn’t intend to suggest you do tell people it is their set. Although as I say, I’m utterly grateful that you did as I wasn’t really thinking of opening any sets at that point. I needed a kick up the backside, and I am pissed off at myself for needing the kick up the backside.

I am, however, grateful to you for providing it! :D

You’re right of course about using open ended openers in certain situations. As ever with pick up, rules are fluid. In some situations, certain rules apply, in others, different rules apply. You just need to be on your toes enough to apply the right principles at the right moment, and to do it without consciously thinking about doing it. Which isn’t a lot to ask!!! :D


Elsewhere, I just wanted to mention something else. Last night I sat down to write a typically lengthy diary entry (I’ve kept a diary on my computer since the age of 16. I’m 26 now, and have 10 years of entries to look back, covering over a million words and 3,025 pages. I’m well rehearsed at writing too much stuff about stuff!!), where I sought to plan my life over the next few months and years.

Some of you will know that recently I have decided to no longer pursue a job, owing to the time commitment needed, and that commitment not being feasible against other commitments I wish to pursue elsewhere in my life. Since taking that decision, I have felt myself somewhat rudderless, lacking in direction, and in need of a new plan.

I sat down for a few hours last night and set myself a series of targets and goals, covering the immediate short term, the short term, the medium term (the 2 years beyond that) and the long term (the 2 or 3 years beyond that).

My new over arching goal in life is to travel. At some point before I’m 30 (so, in the next 4 years) I want to spend 6 months or longer travelling the world, visiting places and learning about cultures other than my own. As I travel, I want to become involved in helping and having a positive impact on the places I visit. I want to leave every place in a better way than I found it – or at minimum, have had some lasting positive effect on it. I want to save up a few thousand pounds, enough to sustain me for a good few months. I will save money wherever possible, and avoid unnecessary expenses. When I have enough money, I will plan my trip, leave my job, and see where the wind takes me.

I also have other goals in the mid-term. They are: to get fit (I am hopelessly unhealthy); to learn to cook (something other than super noodles); to learn at least one foreign language; and to learn the art of pick up, to the point that I am a naturally sociable person, comfortable and confident in myself.

If I can achieve all of these things, and if I end up travelling the world, I will be a more rounded, more experienced person. My world view will be broader, my opinions better informed, my perspective more thorough.

After writing last night’s diary entry, I felt at ease with the world and with myself in a way I haven’t for a few weeks. Having direction to your life is important – knowing where you’re going, what you’re working towards. I felt like a weight had been lifted after writing these things down and setting them in stone.

And it started today! Usually in the morning, my alarm goes off at 7.30am. I snooze for 30 minutes, before dragging myself out of bed and through the shower, on the bus for 8.30am, in work for 9am where I spend the first hour of the day trying to wake myself up, munching on a sausage and egg buttie and generally not being much use to anyone.

I want this to change. I want to arrive at work ready to work. I want to use my mornings, and waste less time snoozing. So, I set my alarm an hour earlier today. As soon as it went off, I was out of bed. I made myself breakfast – an omelette with potato waffles – and then at 7am I was in the car driving off to the gym, where I swam for half an hour.

I can achieve all of my goals if I make them happen. You all have the power to make anything happen in your life. Be clear what your goals are, be clear how to achieve them, and then set about achieving them with energy as soon as you feasibly can.

Take action, and make things happen.

Love,
Co x

I'd only kick someone I was comfortable with and - You're most welcome!! Its important to remember on a night out to a large extent we're in control over how much fun and social momentum we have.

That's great mate, simply great.

Just got home from another night with the Manchester clan, in Manc. A quick review of the night as I saw it...

I made progress tonight I felt. Not bags, but little bits and pieces are coming together, which is nice. The first set was a number close in Wetherspoons. Roody opened a seated two set, and I went in to wing, sitting next to a frankly gorgeous dark haired girl. It turned out these girls were from Grimsby, and were in Manchester for the night for the X Factor auditions tomorrow. This gave us a pretty obvious topic of conversation, and it was all pretty easy.

After being in set for a while, Adam came over to say the group was leaving soon. So, we wished the girls all the best and left. Back with the group, Dave asked if I had closed. I said I hadn't, but honestly couldn't say why. He suggested going back in for a number close. So, as we left, I went back over to the girls and asked them where they were going next, intending to use this as the basis of 'well give me your number, lets catch up later'. But they said they were heading back to the hotel for an early night ahead of being grilled by Cowell and co. Not to be deterred, I sat down next to the girl I'd been speaking too and handed her my phone. 'Ok, well put your number in there. I'm totally excited by the showbiz of everything with you guys, I need to know how it goes.' She punched her digits into my phone, helpfully telling me her name which I'd forgotten by this point.

I should have number closed before I left the set, and this is something to bear in mind for the future. Where there's a chance of a close, go for it. Whats the worst that can happen? Either way, I was pretty chuffed to get a number close so early in the night.

We headed onto Black Dog (I'm told thats what its called). We went straight for the dancefloor, and started to make shapes. As we did, and as Dave pointed out, a few sets seemed to gravitate towards us. I guess this was 'warm part of the pool' theory in action.

I was keeping an eye open for sets to open, with last week's FR in mind where I said I needed to take action and open more sets. To the side of the dance floor I had spied a two set, one of whom was giving me eyes (how could she not - I dance like Travolta on e's!). But... I hesitated. I turned away, and kept dancing. I looked back, and she was still giving me eyes. But again, I turned away. Fuck!

I had to stand myself up for a second and think it through. I told myself very consciously to just fucking go and open them. Fortunately after another few seconds, my feet began to move towards the set, and I opened them asking 'what are you guys talking about? It looks pretty interesting, I can't not know what you're saying'. They replied saying it was about a guy they used to work with, and the set rolled from there (that's the beauty of this opener - it gives endless possibilities for going straight into conversation). Jaz came over and winged one of the girls away, and I began to work with the other one. We talked for a while, and I began to go kino. However, this bit could have been done better. I was shy and hesitant with my kino, restricting it to light touches on the arm. When I tried to escalate, the girl noticed and visibly backed off a little.

This all fits in with my idea of setting boundaries. Early on in the interaction, the boundaries I'd set were hesitant and nervous with regards to kino. When I broke that boundary, it stuck out like a sore thumb, and she picked up on it.

Lesson: With kino, just get stuck in. From very early on, almost from the start, make it perfectly normal to have your hand on her back, and make sure she knows its there. Otherwise, when you escalate, its blindingly obvious what you're doing which triggers her defence mechanisms. Not good.

I didn't close with this girl, and we left shortly afterwards. We headed on to The Venue. Once inside, my focus became not sets and girls, but rather just becoming comfortable and having a good time, dancing openly and as if I didn't give a shit girls were watching. This bore results. I didn't open any further sets, but two girls opened me! Neither of these interactions led anywhere. The first was a girl who stopped and danced with me, before telling me to follow her and meet her friends. When we did, I made sure I introduced myself to everyone in her group before returning my focus to her. One of the guys said to me 'Good luck with her...' or something. And I quickly got what he meant - she danced flirtily, but resisted any escalation. A bit of a cock tease, to say the least.

The second girl who opened me, I guess, didn't really open me as such. She came over and took me off to her friend, and introduced us. Her friend seemed shy, however, and seemed pissed off with her mate for doing it. Fine by me, I left them to it.

But it was good to just be there on our own terms, having our own fun and generally keeping our part of the pool warm. I found this actually drew girls towards us. Much better doing that than standing around eyeing up girls.

I still need to get used to dance floor approaches, and I'd appreciate any tips guys have on this. I was eyeing up a girl who was part of a 3 set for quite some time, but at no point did I go over. I'm not sure what to do on a dancefloor when it comes to picking up girls. You can't really talk to them without seriously bringing the energy down (its tremendously difficult to dance and talk), and its further difficult to engage the whole group. An obvious answer is to be direct: go in, directly for the one you want, grab her hand, and start dancing with her. This is something I need to learn to do, as it will be a hell of a useful tool to have in my tool box.

So that was tonight. I still want to approach more, but I'm pleased with the sets I was part of, the set I opened (uncanned, might I add), the successful number close and having the balls to re-enter the set and get her number, and also just generally learning to have fun as a priority, and no longer going out with girls as the sole reason for going out.

So some careful progress made, and I can't argue with that!

Co!!

Was meaning to put a proper post on this but been busy with the packing!!

Was great to have you down again, sorry for shoting, but my girl, whos not my girl, showed up with her girls. (Im trying to train them as wings..)

We get this a lot actually.. ;)

The dance floor is not for conversations. When a girl joins you to dance (and how can she resist when you're clearly good at it and are enjoying yourself..) its not talk. You have to dance with her. ;)

What has worked loads for me (and I've seen work for the guys) is taking her hand and spinning her, once this way then that, then bring her in close. If she reciprocates the interaction spin her again and bring her ass back in to you and grind some more... then more manoeuvring and go in close for the kiss... You can do this on the same dance floor many times a night with a few different girls.

Then its already sexual and no deep conversational skill are needed just the right level of pull and push to keep her hot for the rest of the night. ;)

(P.s And if she didnt reciprocate, dont waste any more time on her!!)

These are just my thoughts, dont know what the other guys think or what works for them.

Its always good to close if you like the girl, who knows what could come of it. But I gotta stop telling you what to do, its not being a very good host!!

Im off tomorrow, back in 4 weeks. I trust the guys will invite you back down while im away!!!

See you around fella.

x

Don't worry Dave, hopefully soon you won't have to tell me what to do - I'll be doing it all anyway!

Have a boss time in Brazil mate!! Totally jealous of you going, wish you had space for a small scouser in your rucksack!

Bring me back a tan mate :)

Hit the town last night with Darkstar666 and Relentless. It was my first time out with Darkstar, and I was most impressed - a fearless approacher if ever I saw one!

I'll keep this brief. For the last few weeks, I've not done as much work on my game as I'd have liked.

I only opened two sets last night. Honestly bars last night were choc full of blokes. At one point we walked into Modo only to be confronted by what is referred to in academic circles as "A Wall Of Cocks".

Nevertheless we persisted, and I opened two sets.

The first was in Scream - a seated two set. I went up and said hi. They said hi. I asked them what they were talking about. They said about some posh girls arse behind them. And we had a fun conversation.

However, I annoyed myself towards the end. One of the girls asked where we were heading onto. I replied 'Bloody everywhere mate!' and reeled off a list of bars. They said 'Ah... Well, we're going to the Krazy House'. I looked shocked, and proceeded to set out my thesis on Why The Krazy House Is Shit, ranging from the absolute cocks who go there, to the six inches of shit on the floor, to the warm cans of Red Stripe the goons behind the bar charge you £2.50 for despite having to pay a fiver to get in...

And I looked up, and realised I'd lost them. And I knew why. I'd spent the last minute basically telling them 'you're going to have a really shit night'. I should have been so much more positive than this. Even something like 'Krazy House, cool. I'm more of a Heebies man myself, you will be too when you get to my age. A Heebies person, I mean. Not a man. Although there are operations for that sort of thing these days, although I've never heard of girls becoming guys, it always seems to go the other way...'

I get into arguments with girls too easily. Even arguments I'm having with the intention of lightly ribbing them always seem to come across as arguments with the intention of establishing a superior position. I need to get away from this. A 'Yes, and...' last night would have done me so much more good than the 'You're wrong, and here's why...' approach that I took. Grrr!

The second set from last night was towards the end of the night. It started well. I introduced myself, and said they looked like they were really into what they were talking about. I asked what it was. 'Well...' said one of the girls, 'we were talking about the implications of the Soviet Union's nuclear policy on the environment and climate change.'

'Oh really?' I asked. 'That's so funny, we were just talking about that as well!' I thought this was dead funny, and so allowed myself a few seconds basking in thoughts of 'God, that was dead funny' before returning to the set. The set, however, didn't push on particularly well. The girls waited for me to lead conversation, and I didn't really push on. This is where the 90/10 rule applies - for the first two minutes, I needed to lead conversation. I was waiting for them to say stuff, and when it didn't happen, there were a few awkward silences. I could have said anything, and should have said anything. For the first two minutes, just drill on and say stuff. A note for the future.

As I said at the beginning, last night was simply about keeping myself ticking over until I can game again properly, and I get my evenings and weekends back. I did that with two sets, two approaches. That's enough to just keep me warm. A few things to think about, but nothing particularly drastic right now.

I was reading this thinking he needs some 'Yes and...' improv goodness and then you said it. I think it's a balancing act you can't always agree with everyone otherwise you'll be back to chode square one where you appear to be agreeing just to get them in the sack but then again if you disagree with everything you'll look like a tit.

I think it's tact and judging the situation properly so there's no magic bullet answer but you realized that you'd gone too far in saying it's shit and I think you were right in thinking you should have said you prefer someplace else.

It's made me think more about not agreeing but offering a different view point instead of smashing their views to bits.

Its been an incredibly strange weekend. On Friday night, my band played our first ever gig. That was pretty brilliant actually, although I was slightly disturbed that instead of saying 'you were really good' or 'that was cool', my housemate who I've lived with for 4 years told me 'I'm so proud of you'. Grr.

Anyway, game stuff... There wasn't much this weekend. Friday night post-gig I hooked up with a girl I approached a while back. But honestly, after we'd spent some time kissing, I wanted to get rid of her. I was out with my mates, and I wanted to enjoy my time with them more than some girl. Weird really.

Saturday night was a friend's barbeque (a student 'bring your own meat' barbeque!). There weren't many people there, 7 or 8 lads, and just three girls. I still had some good banter with one of the girls. Vicky her name was - incredible body! I just found it so easy to open up flirting with her, made her laugh. I didn't close though - truth be told, I was exhausted from 6 hours of leafletting, and a heavy night of post-gig whisky the night before, and wanted nothing more than my sofa and Match Of The Day!

One worrying thing, perhaps. My ex contacted me on Friday, sent me a Facebook message. This got me wondering what she's up too. I had been under the impression she was with some other bloke, but looking at her FB page there isn't any evidence of this. Annoyingly, this has got me wondering about us again, thinking I should suggest that we meet up, with the aim being to re-ignite something with us.

I'm frustrated at myself for this. I'm supposed to be moving on from her, but a simple message like that and its clear how far back I really am. Having just read Camarda's FR, with direct day game approaches, I feel like I need to pile into my day game again asap, and just ask some bloody women out!

Even with my non-canned openers, they're still not direct openers. I ask girls what they're talking about, and join in. Its hardly direct. A target for my next days and nights of game is to just be direct. To say to girls 'I think you're pretty, what's your name?' and then go on to ask them out. Fuck all this indirect shit. I don't give a shit about being rejected. So why don't I just approach girls? Fuck...

Day game asap! Direct approaches asap!

Would it work differently - yeah, I think it would. Our break up made me step back and take a long, hard look at myself. I've changed since, although the danger is that I have changed in an effort to become what she wanted me to be. Tremendously needy!

Of more concern is that I can feel myself using a potential reignition of our relationship as an excuse to not game. 'I'm not going to go out tonight and try and meet girls, there's no need, because I'm hoping my relationship with XXXX is going to be back on.'

And anyway, I've been there and done that with her. I should be pushing on and meeting new people, not trying to re-meet old ones.

I know exactly how you feel CO. I'm in almost the exact same position with my ex (just ask Hustler, he's had this in his earhole once or twice) and it is awfully tempting to say "fuck it" with the self improvement and get back with her.

It's like Tyler says in the Blueprint. In certain circumstances you see all the best aspects of people and remember all the good times you had with them. It romanticises your experiences of them in you head and you end up being sucked into this half-correct reality, wanting to experience that stuff again. We can hardly be blamed - after all there was a very good reason we went out with our chicks in the first place.

I think you've got exactly the right attitude though. Nobody got anywhere by giving in to temptation and whilst it might be a good move in the short-term, in the long term you might return to your old ways which would not be a good thing. This game is about so much more than getting girls - it's about self improvement to the point of being completely happy about yourself and your life. Getting back into a relationship risks much, including going backwards in this development.

On the other hand of course, like Camarda said, the fact that at least one of you is a different person means that it would probably turn out differently. It's certainly tempting.

Hmmm. I don't think you have to worry necessarily about opening direct as such. I think the key here is showing your intent as early as possible in the interaction, and this can be done in the interactions you mentioned. It's intent versus indirect (hiding your intentions).

This sounds interesting! Get out there man.

I agree with K! Like I say:

Don't go back, just hit the sack.

Actually I never say that... But I never go backwards either. There's roughly 3.8 billion women out there... and they all need a C.O. servicing! You better get started mate cos you have a fair few to go before you get anywhere near that number... just leave some for us, okay? ;)

Its time for me to re-enter the world of pick up - or at least, puaforum (the world of pick up is a frustrating place, mainly populated by wankers more interested in making cash out of other guy's frustrations than anything else. But this forum is simply a community of cool people interested in self improvement.) For the last four weeks, game has been sporadic and, at times, simply non existent. But I now have the time to be able to at least try and do this properly. So hopefully, I'll be posting a little more often again (que collective groan).

A quick FR from last night. We had a celebration bash. I wasn't intent on gaming for several reasons. The bar was free, and I quickly made the most of that, getting myself very drunk from 4pm onwards. So game wasn't really on the cards...

Until a girlfriend I know turned turned up. She is a nice girl, only 19, who I had a thing with a few years back. We got to talking last night. And as we did, I decided I wanted to kiss her. She currently has a boyfriend, but this didn't really bother me. I haven't a clue what I was saying, and I don't really think it matters.

What mattered was how, when I decided I wanted to kiss her, I immediately turned on kino. And as I did, the whole dynamic changed. You could feel it, you just knew something was different. Some sixth sense said to both of us: 'This is no longer just a friendly conversation.'

I didn't waste any time, and a few minutes later I had pulled her in close. And I leaned in, and we kissed. Simple, straight forward, easy. I didn't have to fuck around with clever lines or even 'statements plus open questions' or anything like that. I was successful simply because I physically led. I led kino, changed the boundaries and the mood of the conversation, and she flowed with it.

And it further worked because of something else I tried. I remember a few weeks back reading Kowalski saying that when he speaks to a girl, he's already imagining getting it on with her. As I spoke to Anna last night - right before I went kino - I just thought of having her back in my bedroom, and what I'd like to do with her. Perhaps its hormonal or psychological or something, but this made me immediately feel more sexual, which led me to make the interaction more sexual. I didn't need to think. I just did.

She isn't an approach of course - we've been friends for a few years. But I was very interested in how visualising myself getting it on with her led so fluently into me initiating kino.

Anyway, hopefully over the next few weeks there will be more to write about. I'm resting up this weekend. 7 days straight of 15 hour leafletting / door knocking stints will do that to you (but we bloody won, so it was worthwhile!). And I might reflect a little and set myself some goals and priorities. But last night was fun - and not a little interesting to boot.

Oh, and Ps, my ex hasn't replied to my message suggesting we meet for a coffee. So... fuck her! Her loss.

Hey y'all. Just to let you know I'm still here, but currently not finding time to post much at all. I was under the impression that by now I'd have all the time in the world, but in fact the reality has gone the other way, and I find myself busier than ever. I've started a new job, which saps both time and energy. And just for a couple of weeks, I've withdrawn Pick Up from being a major focus of my life whilst I get the rest of my house in order.

However, I am not going to make excuses for a prolonged period of time. Right now, nothing is settled, and whilst that is true I need to step back and allow the waves the steady. This has resulted in literally no game for the last few weeks. Even on nights out, my focus at the end of a long week hasn't been to meet girls, but simply to get very drunk with my friends.

In a way, I feel I owe this to them as well - my friends and I are all coming to the end of our Uni courses, and within four weeks the friends I've spent the last four years living and breathing with will disperse for good. I sort of feel like I need to just enjoy these last few weeks with my mates, and not giving a shit about girls.

But rest assured, I haven't gone away, and I won't ever give up. I've come a long way in the four months I've been posting here, and I've done things I never thought I'd be able to do.

When you enter the world of pick up, you embark on a journey which is going to push and pull you in every direction. You have to confront some aspects of yourself which you're not going to like. You have to admit they need work, and you need to be proactive in dealing with them. I've done that for the last five months. The results have at once stunned, shocked, thrilled and exhausted me - and there is still plenty more to do!

But I'm not in a place right now where I want to do it. Just for a few weeks. I want to see out my time with my friends, and I want my job to settle down into some sort of rhythm where it is at least roughly predictable from one day to the next. From there, I will once again drive myself forwards. Watch this space...

As a footnote, I met up with my ex-girlfriend last weekend for a chat - the first time we've spoken properly in the 9 months since we split up. We sat in the sun in the park, and ate ice creams, and didn't say a word about 'us' for the whole three hours we managed to spend together. It turns out she is also single right now. She's great, and I love her deeply. But I know there is no future for us. Every bone in my body shouts at me to just call her and suggest we go out this weekend. But I know it'd be absurd. Our lives have taken off in different directions now, and within a month, like my friends, she'll also be leaving Liverpool forever. I'm so glad I met up with her - she's a beautiful person, and I like it that she's in my life again.

But, there are another 2,999,999,999 girls out there. The odds that, in her, I stumbled across the best girl in the whole wide world whilst drunk at a friends house party are therefore pretty long. In fact, I guess, they're 3billion/1.

I'm not saying she and I will never get back together. I just want to check the other 2,999,999,999 girls first, so I know I'm not missing out on anything really great...

Give me just a little time fellers. I'll be back out soon, and posting regularly even sooner......

Good luck fella, but don't stay away too long, your FRs are one of the highlights of the boards.

I've been very quiet for a little while now. Since the beginning of April, I've stepped back from everything for a few months. I've not been out 'sarging' in that time as work has taken over. But even since then, I've stepped back for reasons other than work. And on reflection, I think that despite some success with the few months I've been gameing, there was always something I found deeply uncomfortable with the whole concept of considering myself a 'pick up artist', or honestly even about reading through different methodologies and concepts to do with approaching women.

Something about it - something - just didn't feel right.

At the same time, as I backed off from the game, I realised that other things hadn't changed. I was back in my old modes of going out, getting trashed, and yes having a good time with friends, but not actually talking to any of the hundreds of girls I'd see walking around and like the look of. I did enjoy these weeks, don't get me wrong. They were the final weeks living with my friends from University, the end of four years of living with some really amazing people. I wanted to enjoy them. And I did (or I think I did - much of it remains a blur!).

I've since moved out of my shit student house. And this weekend, I moved into my new apartment. Its at the other end of the scale to where I was before - in the city centre with a stunning view, brand new apartment. So, living in the city, it seemed daft not to go out on Saturday night. I contacted two 'PUA' friends, and we met up for a few pints.

My first sarge in months...

I'll admit, I struggled. All night, I opened just one set. Before then, I bottled a few more. One was in Peacocks. I was at the bar waiting to be served, and a two set wandered up next to me. Four months ago, this would have been straight forward - I'd have just talked to them. But now? I just froze. I turned to them, and took a deep breath in... But nothing came out. I just stood there. Then I got my drink. And then I turned away, and left them to it.

We headed outside where it was quiet. As we did, I was absolutely kicking myself. I knew it was so much easier than that. I knew all I had to do was open one set, and I'd be happy for the night. I knew this because I've done it before, and I've succeeded before. I ended up getting talking to some blokes nearby, asking them the football score. I figured if I couldn't talk to guys, I'd never talk to girls. At least I'd managed that much.

We left Peacock and headed to Heebie Jeebies. We went out into the court yard. Both of my wings opened sets each. I knew it was my turn. I turned to my right and spotted a two set, a gorgeous dark haired girl, and a decent looking blonde. I told myself 'Well, you're going to do this. So just get on with it'. My feet started moving towards them, and I was locked in. This felt familiar. I was committed now, walking towards them. To turn away would have been nothing short of unforgivable.

I walked up to the blonde, smiled, took a deep breath, and asked her: "Excuse me, I need you to help me settle an argument we're having. Custard, right. Do you have it hot or cold?"

For fuck sake - that fucking opener! It was alright, the point was to open a set. But fucking hell...

We chatted for 10 minutes, and my wings came in and helped. I did isolate with the blonde (the brunette, who said she was 29 but didn't look a day over 21, was married), and tried to go kino. But it wasn't great. And I just couldn't stop talking about fucking custard.

Finally, we ejected. And that was it for the night. One of my wings had to head off shortly after, and I stayed out with the other getting very very drunk, but not approaching anymore. We'd not seen each other for a while, and it was good to catch up.

The set itself went abysmally badly. But, the important thing was very simple: I'd gone out to town, and I'd approached. In that moment, I had infinitely more success than I've had in the last three months, when I've not been approaching. I'm glad I've finally taken responsibility for this part of my life again.

So, I'm left with a number of observations and reflections, all of which are going to inform my re-entry into the werid world of pick up. They are as follows:

1. Fuck the theory. Fuck the books. Fuck the strategies and the routines and everything else that fills the pages of the endless e-books written by egotistical morons who, not content with mastering the female species (those of them that have), have decided to try and master the male species as well.
2. In sum, fuck being a pick up artist.
3. Fuck not drinking when I'm 'sarging'. I like having a drink, I like relaxing. Ok, so I'm incoherent after a few hours. I'll approach like nuts for the first few hours, and then jump around like a lunatic for the last few hours.
4. Fuck 'sarging' as well for that matter. I'm just going out with friends, with the intention being to approach any girls I see that I like. That's not 'sarging', it doesn't need a special name, it doesn't need jargon attaching to it. That's simply 'going out'. I don't want to sometimes be in 'sarge' mode and sometimes be in 'non-sarge' mode. I just want to be able to speak to girls whenever the fancy takes me.

And finally, with regards to approaches. I want to experiement, and I want to try and go as natural as possible. I want to go and introduce myself, and just talk about whatever. Custard served its purpose on Saturday - it gave me something to say when I needed something to say. Fine. But I've got angry with it before, and I don't want to have to get angry with it again.

Custard is a dead end street. I should get that tattoo'd somewhere.

But more than anything - and more positively - I want to get out again. I want to go out regularly, and when I'm out, I want to talk to more girls. Enough of this 'good things come to those who wait' bollocks - good things don't come to those who wait! Good things come to those who get off their arses, who take responsibility for their lives, who say to themselves 'thats what I want for myself, so I'm going to fucking go and get it'.

You see, I'm really, really good at doing that. I've got a great and well paying job right now because I've taken action, and gone and got it. I've got a great flat because I've taken action and gone out and got it. I've always succeeded when I've taken control, taken responsibility, and taken it upon myself to achieve my aims.

I've had a few months away, during which time I've realised a few things about this whole thing.

Now I'm back. And I'm not in any mood to stand still for long!

Now, where were we...

Finally, after a few months away, tonight I found myself back out in town with my overarching goal being to speak to women. After a few months where I have variously been snowed under in work, or lacking the time or motivation to go out, or in Africa, tonight I re-entered the strange world of pick up. The results weren't spectacular, and I've had much better nights in the past. But I did what I wanted to do, and from here, the only way is up.

My goal tonight was straight forward and it was simple: I wanted to open a small handful of sets. I wasn't focussed on closing. That wasn't the priority tonight. Rather, I simply wanted to get back out, and begin to open sets again. I managed that at least. Once or twice I surprised myself, and did things I didn't expect to do. Once or twice (and probably more) I frustrated myself, and remembered the same issues, the same problems I had the last time I did this. But regardless, tonight, I achieved my initial goal: to open sets, and to stop sitting in my fucking bedroom, using internet dating as a substitute for going out and speaking to real people.

We met up in Hannah's Bar relatively early, around 9pm. There were three of us: Myself, Chris (who's pseudonym I've long since forgotten), and on his debut in the field, Perfecto. For their part, the other lads had a good night. Chris again showed his outstanding ability to open and then stay in sets. Perfecto, on his first night, made opening his first set look easy. You're just like the rest of us mate - you've already got all the tools you need. You just need to work out how to use them.

We had a chat in Hannah's Bar whilst drying out from the pissing rain outside (take me back to Africa!). Then it was out onto the street, and off towards the centre of town. As we walked down Hardman Street, I spied a two set coming the other way. I moved so I was walking towards them. And as we passed, I opened: 'Girls, where are we going tonight? Because everywhere is dead and we need somewhere to have a laugh'.

It was only a short set. The girls said they were going to Bar Samui - a place I wouldn't touch with a shitty stick. 10 seconds of banter later, I ejected and headed on with the lads into town. I probably could have stayed in set, but I wanted to get moving and get out of the pissing bloody rain. And in any case, as we walked on, I could feel my pulse rising: I'd opened a set, I'd spoken to some girls, and I'd got that flicker of adrenaline that I remember getting so often. It was great.

We moved around a few bars, trying to find somewhere with sets to open. I swear to God, there isn't a bar in the world with an equal number of guys to girls. They reckon on planet earth there are 54% girls to 46% women. So where the fuck are they all?! Every bar seems to be a complete cock fest at the moment, and it makes life fucking difficult.

Next, we tried Peacocks - a cross between a pub and a bar, which I am growing increasingly fond of. It was a little better in there. Chris opened a set, and did very well. Perfecto also opened his first set in here, approaching a two set like he'd been doing it for years.

For my part, at one point a two set of girls stood close by. I knew I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't approach them. So, I turned, and said the first thing that came into my head:

Girls, a quick female opinion - do you prefer custard hot or cold?

For fuck sake...

One said hot, one said cold, I joked with them about it, etc. But its all been done before, that whole custard thing (see pp. 1-13 of this thread). I did exactly the same thing in Heebie Jeebies half an hour later. As we were moving around the bar I spied a two set, and went in once more with the custard opener. They laughed and giggled, and I had a quick joke with them before ejecting again.

But on the whole, I was angry with myself. The custard opener has become such a ridiculous comfort zone for me, I actually need to ban myself from using it. When I approach girls, there are billions upon billions of things I could possibly say to them. Yet, either through lack of imagination or through preference for a comfort zone - which in and of itself is never a good thing to rely upon - I continually ask girls about their preferred temperature for serving custard.

For fuck sake...

I said earlier that I surprised myself tonight. And that came when I pushed for a number close. We were in La'Go, which was dead (no students at the moment, so a lot of places are quiet). Chris opened a three set, and I dutifully winged in followed by Perfecto. Chris was working on a really delightful girl called Lucy, who's breasts were so perfectly round I didn't know whether to stand and stare at them or try and play keepie uppie with them.

In the event I did neither - her blonde friend was also very pretty, and we got to talking. It turned out she had recently graduated on a chef's course, specialising in pastries. I took the chance to tell her about a remarkably delicious pork and apple pastie that I ate on my lunch hour today. She told me she could make them better than the Cornish Pasty Bakery, and so I challenged her to attempt to do so.

Conversation moved on. It transpired that the girl with the football tits already had a feller, so Chris indicated he was ready to leave it behind. But I wasn't quite done with my pastie girl. So, as we said we'd leave, I showed her my phone: 'Put your number in there. I want you to keep your promise about this pasty', I said.

Her response wasn't great. At first it was 'Uh, I don't know what my number is', and then she got out her phone and showed me the games she had on it, before putting her phone away and changing the subject completely. I rather sheepishly put my own phone back in my pocket, muttering something about 'maybe not'. We ejected and left them too it.

I'm not sure why she didn't want to give me her number. I imagine it was because she already has a bloke of some description, although she might have just thought I was a complete wanker. But it didn't matter to me, really. The fact was, I'd pushed for a number close with a really very pretty blonde girl. The fact that I didn't get it was a moot point. There will be other girls in the future, there will be other attempts at number closes. At least I was minded to go for a number. That, at the very least, was a small success.

We headed back up towards Hannah's bar, to see if it had livened up there yet. As we did, two girls called out to us from behind - a blonde irish girl, and a dark haired girl with a thick Yorkshire accent. They asked where we were going, and it turned out we were at least walking the same way, although headed to different bars. We walked with them for 30 seconds, and I got chatting to the blonde. And this is where it struck me: I'm such a twat with women. As we talked, I took the piss out of her, insulted her in a way I thought was funny but she probably thought was... Well, insulting! And generally, she quickly cooled towards me. It makes me wonder, why the hell do I take the piss out of girls so fucking quickly? I often find it in sets, that I'll say something I think is tongue in cheek and piss taking, but the girl just takes offence to it. At bottom, sometimes I don't half act like a twat around women.

The bit that worries me is that that just isn't me. I'm actually a genuinely nice person. I don't fall out with people easily, I broadly get on well with 95% of the people I meet. Yet my interactions with girls quickly become bouts of piss taking, where I do my best to appear funny and rakish by gently insulting them.

This has to change. Later on in the evening, having realised the error I was making and getting frankly angry at myself for making it, I decided to not fucking bother trying to game when talking to girls. I decided to just be myself, to try and just be A Nice Person. I decided to simply not give a fuck if I came across as boring or dull or whatever else, and to just hold normal conversations with girls where I found out about them.

When I did this, the results were much better. Chris had left by now, but Perfecto and I stayed out for a few extra, going for a dance in The Raz. We got talking to two girls. Hardly stunning girls, but it was so nice just having a chat to them whilst letting myself just be myself. I wasn't trying too hard to be funny or take the piss or anything. I just chatted away merrily, as I would with any of my friends.

I didn't close the girl. But we had a dance, and we had a laugh. It felt good to actually make friends with her, as opposed to forever being on my toes ready to take the piss at the first opportunity. This is something to remember in future.

Conclusions

It was great to be back out in town, approaching girls left, right and centre. Ok, so I didn't close. But my goals tonight were simply to open. I did that, and I remembered how easy it is to do that.

However, there are two action points I want to take forward next time I'm out in the field:

1. The custard opener is hereby banned. I have had my last custard based conversation.
2. From now on, I am going to try my hardest to rewire myself to be just A Nice Bloke, as opposed to a cock who takes the piss out of every girl I meet.

I'm not saying resolving those issues will make me great with women. They are merely the first two steps back on the road to being where I want to be in terms of the opposite sex.

But the big plus from tonight, for me, was just being back out there. It felt great to approach again. That buzz you get right before you do it, the shot of adrenaline, that feeling of amazement when they actually hook and talk back to you. In time, I'll close. If I am persistent enough.

But for now, for tonight, I did what I wanted to do: I got out there, and I spoke to some women. They are the foundations of learning how to meet women.

After a few months away, for all that has happened in between, its good to be back!

Man I have so much to write about your post but as I've just moved I haven't got broadband yet so writing this on a iPhone! So I'll keep it brief!

The point you made about 'where are the all the women gone' is a common PU mentally that needs to be broken early. I remember saying something similar to Ali months back. He rightly told me 'well... You only need one to talk to!' (wise words). Do you ever look at clubs and go 'nah... Not enough girls... And no not that one either. No enough clunge.'. If so stop; make the girls come to you! Go to a club you enjoy. Have a laugh. Guarenteed they'll be girls there that will gravitate to you just because you're having fun.

I think personally that you should make a promise to yourself not to eject. Just keep going. Most people think 'right my 10 secs with this girls has been pretty good. Let's get outta here before I start feeling awkward' - don't do it! Stay, and learn to get through it. There'll be mistakes, they'll be a lot of 'my friend needs the toliet' but funk it! Don't bail until your back is on fire!

Good work getting back in to this! Would be cool to catch up so time! Been a looooong time since that trip to Manchester!

Hey Mate...

You did well last night, you put yourself out there and that’s all that matter's right.
With regards to your custard opener, that’s a great fucking opener man, you just need to know where you’re going from there.
Last night overall i think went quite well, you just need to look at your game now and think" What do i have to do to take it to the next step " and remember mate the difference in this game between the winners and the loser's is the winners failed more, and learned from them experience’s..

Game on !!!

Take it easy mate

Chris...

Thanks for inviting me out last night guys. I was very nervous at the start and drank way too much to compensate but I opened my first set which I'm pretty pleased with today :) I've taken my first steps....

Not a problem mate,was a pleasure to meet you.
So when you out next?
P.s Dont forget to buy " The rules of the game " by Neil strauss.

To be honest, it didn't really stop us at any point. Despite guys seeming to out number girls 10-1, we did open the sets that we saw. Take Peacocks for example. There could only have been 3 or 4 non-mixed sets in there. But we pretty much opened them all where we could.


Been trying to do this for months. But you're dead right - as soon as I run out of things to say, I fuck off. I need to really fucking work on that. Improv, praps...

Just tell me the time and the place man, and I'll be there!!

Good to be back!

I'll make sure I pick up that book man didn't really know what I should be doing winging etc. I'm out tonight actually but not with the aim of pick up. Although I will open at least one set. I have been bitten by the pick up bug now :)

Tonight was a good night. My goals remain modest, but I know the areas where I need to improve and get better. I made a few small steps tonight, but they were steps in the right direction.

My sticking points were two fold: The first was a tendency to eject prematurely, at the first sign of danger. My second was a tendency to engage girls in conversation primarily about custard. This week I've been reading a bit of Gunwitch. Two of the central planks of Gunwitch's philosophy are to stay in set until you're dragged out kicking and screaming - 'Make the ho say no'. And another is to open conversation with pretty much anything. (There is much more to Gunwitch than this, of course, but go read his stuff to find it out).

And one other thing I wanted to do tonight. You see, I've got this terrible affliction: I really, really care what other people think about me. Everywhere in my life, I am terrifically cautious the second I think something I'm doing might cause offence, or might cause people to dislike me or argue with me. This has translated itself into my Game as well, leading to a hopelessly cautious, self destructively rigid style of game where I have tried to play safe and construct comfort zones just like the custard opener.

So tonight, I wanted to challenge myself to not give a shit what someone thought of me. And the way I was going to do this was to open a set with the following sentence:

Hello girls, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Boris, an alien from the planet cheese. I'm on earth looking for intelligent life. Have you seen any?

So, going into tonight, my goals were no custard, no caring what people thought, and no ejecting before my time.

I met with Chris (Darkstar) and James (sorry man - forgot your pseudonym!) in Hannah's at 9pm, and watched the end of the match. We headed off to Scream, packed with 17 year olds as it always is. Scream is a good place to go early, always busy and lively and usually some sets to work with.

Chris opened a few sets, and was doing well. For my part, AA was kicking in big time. Once or twice I'd spotted a set, but found all sorts of reasons to not open. And I began to get angry with myself. Another 10 minutes later, and Chris spied a seated three set at a table next to the window. He said they looked bored - they were all sat down texting, not really doing a great deal.

It took me a few seconds to get the bottle together to turn and approach. A few seconds where I came dangerously close to making more poor excuses for non-action. But then my feet turned, and I started to walk towards them. The hard part was over now. There was no way I wasn't going to say anything.

I sat down.

CO: Hey, are you girls bored?

Girls: Uhh....?

CO: Cos every time I look over you guys are texting. You're not texting each other are you?

The girls laughed, and I ribbed them a bit before chatting on. I used the same old fluffs I always use - who are you guys out with, where are you from, etc. Such boring conversation, I need to really fucking work on that shit!

So, after a minute or two, conversation began to wane. I turned slightly to get up and leave... But then turned back, and managed to say something else to keep the conversation flowing (fuck knows what I said). Then Chris and James came over and very helpfully winged, and the set took off. I isolated (well - got into a one on one conversation) with one of the girls. Good conversation as well, we joked about the ring she was wearing, we talked about dentistry (she was a dentist), she asked me what I do and I again said I was a professional dolphin shaver. We joked more, and I told her maybe she could be a professional dolphin dentist. It was pretty cool.

I didn't close with this girl. I didn't fancy her a great deal (she said she was a dentist, but she had a gap between her front teeth you could ride a donkey through. Go figure), although maybe I should have pushed for a number close just for the hell of it. Either way, we ejected after 15 minutes or so of conversation which, when I put my back into it, was actually quite good fun!

I was buzzing after this. Absolutely thrilled. We left scream, and as we turned the corner, I saw a two set coming the other way. AA melted, I walked over to them:

Hey girls, I just want to introduce myself. My names Boris. And I'm an alien...

They probably thought I was totally fucking weird. I think one of them said 'You're really weird'. But fuck it - why should I care what they think? Daft really.

The night cooled after that. I should have bounced on into more sets, but I had a few more bouts of AA in Heebie Jeebies. I winged more, but didn't open again. At one point there was a seated two set just crying out to be opened. Chris told me to open them. He even counted to three several times. But my feet remained rooted. I need to beat this AA, and just get on with it. What's the worst that can happen?

However, there are positives. I didn't ask a single girl about custard tonight. I used a good natural opener, and had good natural conversation. These are good things.

And, remember: I'm still only just getting back into my game. In the past, I've compared one's pick up skills to a muscle like any other, and the field to a gym. The more you get to the gym and lift heavier weights, the bigger and stronger that muscle will get. But don't go the gym for a few months, and it hurts a bit the first few times when you start going again.

I will get over this AA. All it needs is a little persistence. And the mood I'm in at the moment, I will persist, and I will fucking succeed!

Onwards, my winged friends, for tonight we flew to freedom!!

..........Like I say, I'm from the Planet Cheese :p

Good Field Report CO! It's great to see you're getting out there again.

This is a big sticking point for me also. When I look back at sets where I ejected way too early I just feel silly. Actually, Monkeybuster and I were out last weekend in Bristol. I went into a 2 set, both a swiss girl and a spanish girl that spoke very little english. Just as I was about to make my excuses to leave MB came into the set which forced me to stick around. I actually ended up having a good interaction with the spanish girl. I suppose it's kind of how AA works. Your mind is kind of telling you the set is going a lot worse than it actually is.

I used to really care about what people thought of me. I'm just sort of getting over that now myself. I'll leave you with some wise words from Katt Williams...

LOL! "Feel free to sit there and say my hair ain't luxurious, when you know it is bitch!"

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!

That's pretty much what happened last night - it was only when Chris and James came over that I was finally locked into the set, and it went really well from there.

The next thing I need to do, I guess, is to stay in sets even longer. I need to find my first set thats going to last for an hour. I seem to have this idea that a set shouldn't last more than fifteen minutes. But why not get used to the idea that, sometimes when I approach a girl or a group of girls, I might spend much of the rest of the night with her?

Absofuckinlutely! Its probably going fine. But you're just freakin out. 100% spot on there man!

I went on a date last night.

A little background - no-one was out on Friday night (the night before last), and after a week of being stressed out at work and with the flat to myself, I decided to have a night in and chill out. One thing led to another, and I ended up spending an hour or so on Plenty of Fish despite having said many times in the past that 'I'm done with internet dating.'

Then again, I regularly say I'm 'never drinking again', I often mutter that I'm 'masturbating less from now on', and almost daily pledge to 'stop spending money on ridiculous items' like elastic band guns.

Will power is overrated...

Anyway, after messaging a fair number of girls and adding 4 or 5 on Facebook, I settled on a young girl called Rasa. Rasa was Lithuanian. She wasn't stunning, of course. I've always said there is a reason that the girls who use internet dating use internet dating (although clearly I've not said that enough to refrain from using said websites myself), and I guess Rasa was no exception. However, her Facebook profile contained one picture in particular where she was featured in a short floaty skirt, with long, slim legs protruding beneath. This was reason enough for me to want to see her for real.

So, last night, we met up. This involved myself shamelessly bailing on my wings, Relentless and Darkstar, to whom I had promised a gaming venture to St Helens. Sorry about that guys - the prospect of sex with an Eastern European girl was too much to resist!

As per our conversation the night before, I decided to take her up to Crosby beach. The idea was that we would walk in the rain and get freezing cold, before returning to the car where I would have a flask and a blanket waiting. We'd curl up on the back seat beneath the blanket, sipping tea, my Jack Johnson CD humming away, and that this would present me with a cosy opportunity to get to know this (still potentially beautiful) young Lithuanian girl a lot better.

...At least, that was the plan.

The whole problem with internet dating is that its a bit too much like buying shit wine from Tesco. You can read the label, which always sounds great. You look at the pictures, and they're pretty good too. And you totally fall for the marketing spiel about 'walnut and strawberry flavours with a hint of whale spunk' or whatever. But until you actually buy it and go through with opening the bottle, you never quite know what you're gonna get.

And worse - if you don't like it, you're stuck with it for the rest of the night.

I drove to pick her up from Lime Street station. As I parked up, she rang saying she was already there, and would meet me by WH Smiths. I turned the corner, and walked towards the shop. And there she was. There's always this moment with internet dating, when you first see each other. You always hug, of course. But as you approach each other, in those three seconds you scan your date up and down, and immediately come to a conclusion about what you've got. I suppose, if Rasa watched me closely enough, she'd have detected a hint of disappointment in my face as we approached: She was lightly pretty, I guess. But she wasn't quite the stunning Eastern European beauty I had hoped for. She had what I would politely call prominent teeth (in a less polite, drunken moment, I might have alternatively said 'she's got a face like a horse), an unusually shaped face which sort of reminded me of a Scream mask, and from the moment we met I could sense the distinct smell of Olibas Oil. She quickly explained this latter point, saying she was suffering from a cold. Alas, I wondered, why on earth had she agreed to go for an evening walk on the beach in the rain, when surely a warm coffee shop would have been a much better idea?

Nonetheless, for all my criticism, she had some redeeming features. She did have very pretty eyes, and long black hair that fell seductively over the right of them. If there's one thing that never fails to get me wound up, its when I see a girl with that 'hair over one eye' look. I wonder if that's just me? She was also very slim, and had a great figure. She was wearing jeans, and as I looked down at them I couldn't help but remember that photo... Ok, so this clearly wasn't the start of a long romance. But, I reasoned - I wouldn't mind having sex with her...

We got in the car and drove the half hour north to Crosby beach. As we drove, we chatted happily. I was utterly intrigued at how differently a Lithuanian might hold a conversation. I had imagined earlier that it would be more up front, with less of the reserve of British girls. As we spoke, my expectations were proven well founded. Within half an hour, she had asked me if I had ever been married, ever had kids, what my expectations were with marriage, if I believed in marriage, if I'd ever been on Plenty of Fish dates before, what happened on them, why, what did I look for in a girl, what was my opinion of foreigners living in England, etc etc. She didn't bother hedging questions. If she wanted to say something, she just said it. I quite liked that about her, I found it totally endearing.

Anyway, we pulled up at the edge of Crosby beach. The rain was pelting down, the beach deserted, the wind whipping in across the Mersey. We fastened our coats, and I took my shoes and socks off. I have recently spent a month volunteering in Mozambique, and for 95% of my time there I and the other volunteers lived barefoot. I was looking forward to the feeling of sand between my toes and the earth beneath my feet again. Rasa, for her part, kept her boots on. She thought I was crazy.

We walked along the beach (it turns out Crosby beach in mid-September is nothing like Mozambique - after 15 minutes I couldn't feel my feet anymore), and talked. I was thoroughly enjoying not gaming Rasa. For some reason, I took the fact that she was foreign to mean I didn't need to worry about making statements-plus-questions or any of that stuff. All I did was chatted about the things I wanted to chat about. This in itself was incredibly liberating, and I found the practice of just talking to a girl after months away from gaming did me some good.

After half an hour, soaking wet and freezing cold, we headed back to the car. Of course, this was my moment to hatch my blanket plan. I unlocked the car, went to the boot, and chucked a blanket on the back seat. I pulled out a flask of boiling tea, and headed for the driver's door. But alas, I had been too slow. Rasa had already made herself comfortable in the passenger seat, and was busily unwrapping chocolate she had brought from home. I dumped myself in the drivers seat next to her, pissed off that there was to be no back seat canoodling, and pulled a towel around my feet. Ah well, I thought, there was plenty of time yet.

We weren't sure of what to do, but she said 'You're the boss tonight - you decide.' So we drove back into town, and hitched up at Hannah's Bar. We headed upstairs, where I turned to go into the room with sofas in. We'd been on the date for 3 hours now, and had done the whole romantic thing with the beach and the rain. Now I wanted to cash in, and I wanted to kiss her. A sofa was the perfect place to do this. Every date I've ever been on, sitting next to each other on a sofa has never failed to result in a kiss.

But Rasa didn't want to sit in the room with the sofas. She turned the other way, and headed for the room with tables and chairs. For fuck sake woman, don't you get what's happening here?! I am trying to work a way to kiss you, I would be tremendously grateful if you would fucking co-operate!

We sat at a table, and I ordered a pint of bitter and a glass of wine. We chatted more, as I racked my brains for ideas of how to kiss her. Here, I got a few bouts of what I suppose would be called AA. I wanted to just lean in and kiss her. But I couldn't do it. I thought I could ask her to teach me the Lithuanian for 'Kiss me Rasa'. But fuck that sounded cheesy. I held her hand, awkwardly, and tried to keep up kino (which I'd been consciously doing since the beginning of the date). But nothing would work. I even tried to use Gunwitch's approach at one point - imagining myself fucking her as we spoke to charge me with sexual energy. It certainly charged something up - immediately after doing so I consciously became incredibly leery, and told her how beautiful her eyes were at a complete tangent to the conversation. She seemed surprised. Of course she seemed surprised, the conversation had flipped quite unexpectedly from 'Wigan is a strange place to live, but its almost as big as the third biggest city in Lithuania' to 'You know you've got such beautiful eyes'. Clearly this is an approach to be carefully applied in the future, but practice makes perfect.

Rasa's cold escalated a little while we were sat down. She said she couldn't work out why, but I wondered if it had anything to do with the fact she'd just agreed to go and walk in the pissing rain on a beach for half an hour. Stupid woman. The time was only 10pm, but already she was talking about having to go home. She had work this morning and had to be up at 5am (she told me this before we'd met, to be fair, it wasn't an excuse). Fine, I said, I'd give her a lift home.

We stood and I pulled my sodden coat over my shoulders. We headed back downstairs. As we did, I was kicking myself, telling myself to stop being such a fucking pussy and kiss the girl. As we headed outside and reached my car, I finally lost patience with myself. Rasa turned to get into the passenger door. As she did, I said 'Woah woah, hang on, back here'. She came and stood in front of me. I said to her 'since I'm the boss tonight, I want a kiss before we head back'.

She blushed. Of course she fucking blushed, it was a shit cheesy line. But then stood closer to me, raised her face to mine... And slopped a huge, messy kiss across my mouth. This was in itself surprisingly un-British. Its normally polite to begin kissing with the lips, and then gradually insert an increasing portion of ones tongue into the recipients mouth, until a tongue-to-tongue situation is achieved. But for Rasa, this seemed unnecessary. Long, long before our lips had met, her tongue had plunged into my mouth and was lapping around my wisdom teeth. When our lips finally did meet, it was only to contain the pool of saliva which was welling at the bottom of our mouths. The strangest kiss I've ever had by a long way. I pulled back not a little surprised, and got in the car. I couldn't make my mind up whether I liked that or not...

I drove her home, taking the opportunity to deliver a lengthy monologue on Why The Cribs Are Boss. We got back to her house, and sat outside in the car. We made tentative plans to meet up in the week, although in retrospect I don't plan to do so. She turned to me, and delivered a final spit-dripping kiss across most of the lower part of my face. Then she turned, and got out of the car. There was to be no sex tonight, it seemed. The only thing that had become hard and wet was my chin.

I drove off, pulling up 50 yards up the street to wash my mouth out with the luke warm tea remaining in the flask - it seems during our drive home, Rasa had developed something of a breath issue. My face smelt rotten. I pulled up to a petrol station to buy some cigarettes, and drove 20 minutes home reflecting on the night passed.

Thoughts

1. Have fun dates. As strange as this one turned out to be, it was incredible fun going to the beach and walking barefoot in the rain. Be creative, for your own good. There's more to do with a girl than sit in a bar with her. Just make sure you're clear about precisely where you plan on drinking your tea...

2. Foreign girls are very different to English girls. If you ever get the chance to date one, I would strongly urge you to go and find one, and take her out. Its amazing how differently you react.

3. Lithuanian chocolate is tasty, but alas, nothing special.

4. Never be afraid to kiss a girl on a date. Its annoying I've had to write that, but it seems I still struggle with the idea. There's a reason she's there. There's a reason you're there. You're clearly there to be more than friends. It isn't natural to not kiss. So fucking kiss her! She will kiss back. There really isn't much to worry about. You just kiss her!

5. I used a lot of kino, and found again that it helped build a good relationship. From the beginning, I was getting her used to the idea that it was ok for me to touch her. Further, earlier on, she had complained explicitly about 'guys who are too afraid to touch me'. The mechanics of it aren't complicated: Girls like sex. Girls want sex. Girls understand that they must be touched during sex. Ergo, girls like to be touched.

And as I fell asleep last night, alone, damp chinned and unsexed, I had one final thought:

Internet dating really is shit. Don't bother in future. I don't plan to see Rasa again. As nice a girl as she is, I want to get out and just meet more girls until I find one I actually like.

Surely it can't be that hard...?

Interesting fun read man..Can relate to internet dating thing bit..(but not walking barefoot brave dude)..tends to usually results in 1nighter..do make abundantly clear beforehand..cause this don't find much awkwardness going in for kiss.

Hard to know of how truthful their photos is to reality is shit like. Ref to tesco wine funny..so far been extremely lucky with it..sure bound trip up somewhere resulting in me doing smooth yet speedy exit!;)

Aint reliant on it..take note what sayin..its no subsititute for going out.

Brilliant. I could just imagine it as well.....you delay kissing her for ages, and then you get that!

Agree with you re internet dating - people keep recommending it but just seems like a waste of time. Suppose it depends on what you're looking for I guess

Tonight, Perfecto and I headed out into Liverpool for an early evening of looking for girls to talk too. We didn't have long - I had a band practice until 9pm, and since Perfecto and myself have those 'job' things wot people have, we were limited in how long we were going to be going out for.

Nonetheless, we had time for a good 2 hours of action. And that was time enough for me to have my usual set of sweeping realisations.

We started in Bar CaVa - a tequila bar, hardly classy but good fun. Unable to see any sets we wanted to open (bear in mind, neither Perfecto or myself are yet advanced enough to be willing to open mixed sets. Unless its a pure female set, we're not going in!), we headed off up Bold Street towards the studenty end of town. The students are back now, and they're out in force!

I felt pretty good as we walked along. I've watched a bit of Tyler Durden's 'transformations' this week, and Tyler's words were still ringing in my ears. I also read the RSD article Personality. Get One. Chode posted on another thread here, about getting a personality. I was determined to try and apply some of the principles I'd read there, things like asking open questions, and pursuing conversation of a 'future and hypothetical' nature than 'past and literal'.

This resonated deeply with me. I'm fed up to fuck of talking to girls about 'what do you do' and all that shit. It bores me, never mind them!

But yeah, as we walked, I felt an extremely pleasant confidence softly glowing inside me. I even opened two girls along the way, albeit as warm ups: the first, a lone girl, asking her how full the bars were up Hardman Street. The second, as we were crossing Renshaw Street (sorry for name dropping all the roads - get a map if you want to know where this all happened), I spotted a gorgeous girl coming the other way. I smiled as broadly as I could without looking like a lunatic, and tried to say hello to her. But in the end it came out as a rather shy, croaky 'Hi...'

She defintiely wanted my cock after that...

We worked our way around a few different places. Scream wasn't happening, and Hannahs and Bumper were empty. Finally we reached Baa Bar. It wasn't packed, but it was quite busy, so we decided to stick around. We headed for the bar to order drinks, and in front of us was a two set of obviously young, but really incredibly pretty girls.

I went to open them... And then I froze. I couldn't think of anything to say. Fuck. I took a breath again... And again, nothing came out. Approach anxiety gripped my stomach and squeezed tight, and I just seized up. Thirty seconds later, and the two set had taken their drinks to a nearby table, and were sat chatting between themselves.

For my part, I was just angry. I'd been here before, I'd done this before, I'd learned there wasn't anything wrong with talking to girls. Yet, I couldn't get the stomach to talk to these two. In that moment, stood there uselessly, I absolutely hated myself.

Perfecto and I headed outside. I think he sensed I was getting wound up, which I was, and that I needed to just take a deep breath. Whilst outside, Perfecto spotted a seated three set. He turned and headed for them, opening effortlessly. I held back, letting him go in, and quietly giving myself a fucking stern talking too.

After a minute had passed, I went in to wing Perfecto. We have a sort of code we use, where whoever is coming in to wing will say to their buddy 'Hey man, I think Hannah is in Bumper' or something. If your buddy needs winging, he will say 'Cool man - come and meet these guys, they're fun', and you stay and help. If not, he says 'Cool, I'll be there in a minute'. This is code either for 'I'm not staying in this set long', or 'I'm cool and don't need winging'. But either way, it seems to get the job done.

On this occasion, Perfecto didn't need any help. So, I backed away, and wandered back inside the bar area. The two set were still sat down at their table, chatting merrily away. Finally, my patience snapped like a dry branch. I turned, and walked towards them. Closer. Closer. And then I was at the table side. One of them looked up as I sat down with them, and looking up, I calmly said, 'What the hell are you guys talking about?'

The girls looked at each other stunned, one of them obviously halted in mid-sentence. Three seconds of silence passed, before I added 'because I've had a look around, and you're definitely having the most interesting conversation in here. I can't not be part of it.'

One of the girls threw a shit test my way:

HB: Oh, we were just talking about this guy who looked like he was gonna come and interrupt us.

CO: Oh yeah? Where is he then?

HB: I dunno, but he had dark hair and was wearing a hoodie [describing me]

CO: [Looking around the bar blankly] Noooo I can't see him, are you sure he's still here?

Basically, I didn't let it phase me. I passed the shit test. But suddenly, there was another one. The same girl said:

HB: What's your name?

CO: Its Ada.... Er, I mean, its Dino.

HB: Dino?

CO: Yeah, that's right. As in Dino the dinosaur.

In my response, I had almost given her an honest answer, and had almost dutifully told her my name when prompted. Good doggy!

But as the word was falling out of my mouth, I remembered David DeAngelo saying 'never give a straight answer'. And so I managed to stop myself, and told her my name was Dino. This led to a bit of jousting as they tried to work out if that was my real name or not.

Perfecto had by now ejected from his three set, and so he came winging in. I held him in the set, and he sat down next to one of the girls. I isolated with the girl next to me in an instant, who's name was Georgie.

CO: Your name's what?

HB: Georgie.

CO: You're named after a river?

HB: What? A river?

CO: Yeah, your name is the same as a river.

HB: I'm not named after a river!

CO: Yeah you are, the river Georgia in America.

HB: No, no, not Georgia. Georgieeeee.

CO: Oh... Shit, you really need to stop going around telling people you're named after a river, its pretty misleading.

She loved it! Fuck this was easy. I couldn't work out by now if this was easy because I was in a good mood, or because I am developing skills again, or whether she was simply making it very easy by responding to me. The reality is probably somewhere between all three.

I applied the 'future and hypothetical' formula to the conversation, and we got onto the topic of travelling. We had a great conversation during which we planned to travel the world together. Not once did I have to ask her a fluff question. It was exciting, bouncy, enjoyable conversation, for me as well as for her.

And - and this is a big and - I stayed in set! Even when the conversation flagged, I found something to kick start it with. I pushed and pushed it onwards. I was staying here until she walked away. At one point the girls went to the toilet. I suggested to Perfecto that we make a move. But he said to stay in set - and he was dead right.

And this is where I had my big realisation for the night: If you only open one set, but then spend all night talking to them, then that's absolutely fine. Too often when I'm out meeting women, I'll open one set, and once I'm into it, I'll think 'right, job done', and look to come out so I can go and open another asap. But isn't that just daft??? Perfecto suggested we stick with this one - it was going well, and he was getting on well with the girl he was chatting too. So we did.

In all my time studying and practicing pick up, this was probably the longest set of them all. We chatted for about an hour, open, exciting chat about all sorts of weird and wonderful stuff. It was great.

But... I didn't close. And here's why. The girls got up to go to the bar for drinks. Perfecto and I stayed put and chatted between ourselves. But the girls didn't come back. They had got chatting to three lads at the bar, either because they'd been opened, or because they'd opened them. But either way, we sat there for five minutes waiting patiently for them to return.

Needless to say, my patience didn't last long. I wasn't going to sit there like a fucking puppy. So, we got up, and headed off. As we did, the girls (and the lads) had moved away from the bar. Perfecto said bye to his girl, and promptly number closed her. I wheeled around to Georgie, and told her I was going. She told me to go travelling to South Africa, and gave me a massive hug. This was the moment to go for her number, if I wanted it.

But I didn't. My reasoning was odd, perhaps: I didn't want to number close Georgie because Perfecto had just number closed her mate. Would it have been a bit weird if we both walked away with numbers? Now, as I type this, I'm kicking myself because I am realising I should have just given her my phone, and told her I wanted her number. I'm not shy about number closing. But something this time warned me off.

Maybe I could ask Perfecto to get Georgie's number from the girl he closed. But then again, maybe that's just needy. But then again again - who cares what they think???

We left after the longest set of my life. I felt utterly ambiguous about it all: On the one hand, I had opened naturally, stayed in set for an hour, I'd not used a shred of routine, and me and Georgie had got on like a house on fire. It was easy, effortless game, done the way its supposed to be done.

But the bookends of the set pissed me off. I had taken so long to open them. And I had failed to close. For fuck sake...

Questions

1. When the girls got up to go to the bar, and then got talking to those other guys, what was the correct course for us? I imagine just going and opening a new set would have been the way to go, show the girls we didn't need them. But it made things tricky.

2. Is my excuse about not wanting to close her because my wing had just closed her mate utter bollocks? Don't answer that actually, I already know...

Thoughts

Its a shame it took me so long to open, but I'll get over that. For the second week running, I've opened a seated set, which used to be a massive problem for me. That's pretty cool.

The conversation was also simply dazzling. I had a laugh, what can I say, although I have to admit that Georgie made it really pretty easy for me. She gave me plenty of opportunities. I kept kino up throughout (although as per usual, could have done more), I was lively and I had really good energy. Fuck, why didn't I close???

And the final thought: From now on, every set I open, I am aiming to stay in that set for as long as possible. I am no longer seeking to open for the sake of opening. I now want to open with a view to spending a long time talking to the girl or girls I have approached. This is something very new, and its something I really want to have a good crack with!

I'm not sure when my next outing will be. Tomorrow night my band is playing a gig, and I'll be too drunk to speak by midnight. I'm staying in for a quiet early night on Saturday ahead of a very early start.

I've managed to arrange it so I am sharing a room with a pretty 19 year old red headed girl, who I have a small history with, but not quite a complete history, if you see what I mean. She does have a boyfriend... But we can forget about him, right? :p

Until the next time - keep opening! :)