I thought I might have a go at keeping a diary for a while. Not sure how long I'll bother with it, but I'll try and keep it updated fairly regularly.

Here's my last week or so as best as I remember it.



FRIDAY 02/08/13

Went out to my regular bar, met a couple of new wingmen who seemed pretty decent. On the way to get a drink I bump into a French girl I almost always bump into on Fridays. I chat to a Dutch girl for a bit who was talking about how she works for Roots Manuva. I’m fairly sure that was bullshit but she’s good fun so we hang out for a bit. Nothing really happens though.

I end up chatting with the French girl some more. We make out a bit. She’s there with another girl, who’s now hanging out with some guy. It also turns out we live in the same area, so at the end of the night we head back together.

At this point I’m fairly drunk so I can’t remember specifics. The long and short of it was that the other guy fucked off and she didn’t want to leave her friend and go back to mine. I have no idea why I didn’t just go back to hers since it’s 10 minutes from mine. But hey, I was drunk.



SATURDAY 03/08/13

I wake up with a horrible hangover. I make myself a coffee and watch the Simpsons, before remembering that in an act of terrible planning I’d arranged to meet a girl at Waterloo in the afternoon. I decide to brave the hangover instead of cancelling and head out the door.

I randomly met this girl at a gig a while back, and we chatted about how we’d never really explored London. We wander round for a bit, then realise we’re near something called the Hunterian museum. Neither of us knew what it was, so we went in. Turns out it was two floors of the creepiest shit I’ve ever seen. Phoetus skeletons, dissected phoetuses in jars, human skulls, dead animals, organs… it was like taking a girl to a serial killer’s house…while hung over. Oddly enough it didn’t dampen the mood that much, but we decide to leave the exploring at that.

We spend a few hours mucking around, wandering down the South Bank, having a couple of drinks, then we head back to mine to watch a film. We get back to mine, have sex, then watch a b movie about Nazis on the moon before she heads home.
Not a bad day.



MONDAY 05/08/13

A pretty cute black girl came round mine that night to hang out. Wine, TV, that old chestnut. We’d met up before and it was now becoming pretty obvious she was holding out from having sex, despite the fact that she normally doesn’t, because she thinks I’m boyfriend material. She tries to appease me with a handjob and I tell her to just leave it. She hangs out a bit more and I take her home. Not contacting her again. We were clearly out for different things from it, and I don’t see any reason why I should indulge that kind of game playing.



THURSDAY 08/08/13
Quiet night tonight. I meet up with an old wing from last year and catch up with him for a bit. I chatted with some German girl about our maths degrees. We got on pretty well, and separated from her mates to hang out for a bit. We made out a little, but she wanted to head off with her mates and I was tired. I took her number and pretty much left it at that.



FRIDAY 09/08/13
Out again in my regular place. I get in and two of the guys I’m out with are chatting with the French girl last week. I excuse myself for being a drunk arsehole and say I don’t remember a lot of it later on. I hang there for a bit, but the conversation starts to get a little gamey for my taste, so I head off for a beer. I meet up with the guy I was meant to be heading out with and we start wandering round on the mack as per usual.

After a while of wandering round chatting to random people I start chatting to two Portugese girls. My mate chats with the other one and we all somehow get separated. Me and the girl make out a bit. I stole someone’s beer.

I get a text from my mate saying he’s heading off. The portugese girl’s friend was getting into some Irish guy now, so we decided to head off. Turns out she lived right near mine too, in student halls. She was proper hesitant about coming back to mine though, and ended up getting off at her stop. This annoyed me a bit, mainly because I was drunk again and it was eerily similar to last Friday. I get home, have a beer and chat to my doorman about how bitches be trippin.


SATURDAY 10/08/13
I wake up to find some disturbing stuff on my phone.
The first was a drunk facebook message at 5.30am from the French girl. It read:

what the fuck did you said tonight ? like you don't remember last friday until you arrived to Bermondsey ?! Too bad for you, but you preferred to say that you were too drunk, that is a good excuse for you. You're just a coward. but you know you didn't had to say that actually because I don't expect anything from you, too bad because you were a great kisser. Anyway, good night Tom

I message her back telling her to calm down, and said sorry if she took it the wrong way but I meant nothing by it. She sent me an embarrassed apology later on, and I told her not to worry about it. I’ve done far worse when I'm drunk after all.

The second thing I woke up to was that I’d arranged to meet a girl on Saturday afternoon again. She Portuguese girl from last night. Ugh.
I haul myself out the door and head to meet her. It was actually a lot of fun, we just wandered round a few pubs then went back to mine. We got halfway through watching 500 days of summer on the TV, then ended up having sex.

I taught her how to make a cosmopolitan and how to escape a headlock (not simultaneously) then we watched road to perdition which I couldn’t be arsed with.

She headed off around 11, and I spent the rest of night catching up on Breaking Bad.

I got another drunk message from the French girl at 3am telling me she lost her iphone and asking how my night was. I’ll need to keep an eye on that.

FRIDAY 16/08/13


Deciding where you go out tonight. I text a few people who tell me they are going out in Shoreditch. Getting home from there is ridiculous though, so I decide to be boring and head out to my regular friday night place solo. I also get a text on my way out from a girl from uni who lost her virginity to me, telling me she's back in London. We arrange to meet up Sunday night, more on that later.

Tonight I had an overwhelming feeling of can't be arsed. I decide I can always just have a couple of drinks and some chat then head home if I really can't be arsed.

I get in, get myself a pint and chat to a pretty nice looking Polish girl at the bar. Standard 'Alright? How's your night going?' sort of thing. Its going pretty well, so we head out to the smoking area and sit around chatting, probs for about 20 mins. Didn't make a move though, more out of a feeling of can't be arsedness. I must be tired or something, I was so switched off I put a cigarette in my mouth backwards and lit it by the filter. She’s 33, and seems a bit less interested when I tell her I’m 25. I pop back in to get a beer, and don’t see her again.

After a casual couple of chats with people I’m thinking of heading off. I’m finishing off my beer in the smoking area, and I overhear two nice looking American girls chatting about some guy they know who keeps stealing shit and acting weird. I figure why not, so I go ‘Just eavesdropping, who’s this arsehole you’re chatting about?’.

This kicks off a pretty fun conversation. About 10 mins in, the girl I’m not that bothered about heads in, leaving the short blonde one on her own with me. Generally a good sign. We chat a bit more then make out for a bit. I decide to stick around.

The rest of the night was me hanging out with her and about 4 other American girls. All pretty uneventful, except for a bunch of other guys coming up and awkwardly hitting on the girls. I’ve got no problem with that, but some guys do it in the strangest neediest fucking ways. It wasn’t even happening with me or my girl, I just felt uncomfortable watching that shit.

The club closes and she invites me back to hers, but I go ‘nah, let’s head back to mine. It’s closer. No idea if it was or not. We get back, drink beer, chat about Humphrey Bogart, then have sex. We sleep, have morning sex, and she heads off .

As much as I feel like I’m in a rut doing the same old thing I’m still getting laid as regularly as I want. I should maybe branch out and do different stuff for fun, but if it’s not broke don’t fix it I guess.

SUNDAY 18/08/13

Meeting the girl from uni tonight. I was originally planning on meeting the Portugese girl today, but this was the only night the uni girl could do. I’d rather do that anyway so why not. She comes to mine around 8. I originally thought we were going to chill for a bit, but 5 mins in she moves on me and we end up having sex. It’s strange when it’s someone who’s not had sex with anyone else before, bit unsure of herself but still not bad. After that we chill out for a bit, eat brownies, drink beer and watch Cheaters before she heads off.

Pretty uneventful, but I thought it’s be worth posting about anyway. I’m she knows my reputation from uni, and she seems pretty cool about the whole situation. I’ll need to be careful about it anyway, after all she was a virgin. I’m not interested in a relationship right now it wouldn’t be fair for me to let her get the wrong idea.

I think you're still drunk bro, the dates you put on your last two posts are wrong. Friday wasn't the 18th, & how the hell could Sunday be the 19th if Friday was the 18th.

Or maybe you're in a time warp, in which case, cool.

Nice exploits though regardless of the timezones.

Haha, I'm just a scatterbrain, I write and never bother to check anything. Let's get that changed then....

Over the week I had 3 exams to do for uni over 3 days. The result of the long days of studying and stressing were that I was completely knacked, so I decided to take the weekend off and just hang out round mine with a girl. That’s not exactly how it turned out though.

FRIDAY – 23/08/13
Last exam was yesterday. I wake up at 8 out of habit and head to the gym to deadlift. I kill it in the gym and hit a new max, but the end result of this is that I’m even more knacked than earlier. I feel a real impulse to go out, but I decide to stay in tonight and take it easy. I think I’ve earned a little downtime, plus there’s not much going on so I’d be heading out solo again anyway.

I get a call from Portugese girl, she says she’s getting a meal with some friends in Camden and heading to Proud after. At this point I’m lying on the sofa with wine watching TV, and I’d rather switch it for a glass of toilet duck than go for a full night out in Camden right now. I say
‘I’m a bit knacked really. I could maybe come out for a couple of drinks but I can’t be doing with a big night out’
‘It won’t be a big night out, all the clubs close at 3!’
‘That’s what I mean by a big night out. I think I’ll just leave it’

She keeps trying to talk me into it, but I really can’t be bothered. She texts me a couple of times through the night trying to get me to come out. This gets more obnoxious as time goes along. She rings me and wakes me up, asking if she can come around. This is annoying as hell, but I’m too tired to bother arguing at this point so I say fine.

I stagger to the door to let her in when she gets here and tell her I’m just going back to sleep. She apologises for the obnoxiousness in the morning. We have morning sex and go for a bacon sandwich. I’m thinking of just cutting this girl off though. She seems to have a real habit of doing this kind of thing, and it’s a bit of a deal breaker to me.

SATURDAY – 24/08/13

I meet up with the girl from my uni in the evening for a drink. What with us both being penniless we decide to grab some wine and hang out round mine. We wound up having sex almost immediately when we got in, which is pretty much the standard routine we’ve got going. During the post sex chat I find out she only saw star wars a week ago, and has pretty much seen absolutely nothing in the way of films. Despite still being really tired, I see this as inexcusable, so we put on dressing gowns and stay up till 4 drinking gin and cranberry while watching The Matrix, The Big Lebowski and Groundhog day.

MONDAY – 26/08/13

I wake up today with the intention of going to the Notting Hill Carnival and meet with a Romanian girl I’ve really been out to have sex with but never had it quite work out. When I wake up I find this facebook message from her:

So that’s that plan gone. I’m also meeting one of the regular girls later on, so I consider not bothering with the carnival. I know a couple of guys heading out there to do some game, so I figure why not. Yolo, as the twats all say. I fill a backpack up with beers and head out.

The day pretty much consisted of me and two wings drinking, being daft and chatting up girls. My opener for the day was either going ‘What up girl’ I a loud black American woman’s accent, or ‘Alright dahlin’ in a think cockney accent. I got a number, shared a beer and made out with some really nice blonde girl looking for MD, but that was it as far as ‘results’ go. I was just there to wander round, drink and have fun though, so mission accomplished. I lost £20, but also managed to get myself a new guitar student at the carnival, who I gave a lesson the next day. Net gain right there.

One of my wings is doing really well with a girl as it comes to a close. We don’t wait around for him, since I had to head off for my date.

I did not think through daytime drinking in light of my meeting up with a girl later. I’m pretty drunkish on the way there. She’s a little late, so I grab a black coffee and a burger at macdonalds to sober up.

The girl I’m meeting is a danish redhead I used to regularly see a lot last year, but who I’ve not met up with for a good few months now. As a result it follows the standard routine. We grab a pint, get a bottle of wine and head back to mine.

She tells me that she lost her virginity to her maths teacher, and asks me if I’ve ever had sex with one of my students. I tell her no, I’m professional and I’ve got no desire to end up on a sex offenders register for trying to fuck a teenager. For some reason we immediately have sex after this conversation. After this we finish off the wine, spoon and watch south park.

We have sex 2 more times in the morning. My bed is starting to make an irritating squeaking noise and a load of the slats fall out halfway through the second time. Need a new bed.

She ends up leaving around noon, apparently cause she has a coffee date with some guy from her work around noon. She says it’s a pity date. I genuinely feel pretty bad for that guy, but hey I had fun. Good weekend.

Nice reports.

It was good to catch up the other day.

LOL! A pity date with an AFC.

Cheers man. Yeah was good seeing you mate. That night ended up being one of the weirdest fucking nights I've had in ages man. About to write it up now.You end up leaving that bird?