Good report dude.
There's good nights and there's bad nights and it seems pretty random. I expect as the skills become more developed there's maybe a bit more consistency. It's a numbers game. The thing is you never know if the next girl you approach is going to be into you, like the engaged girl you had the long interaction with. If it happened once that means it can happen again. And the next one might be available. You should use that as your motivation to get out more often (even solo) and keep doing approaches. If you do that the rejections gradually have less and less affect on your mood, treat it as your exposure therapy. |
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Honestly though Jasmine was fucking hot, I can't believe that even happpened. I might be a virgin but I'd have quite happily tried my best to smash her back dooors in. |
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I have a few things to say but first, do you go out with other people who are into this shit (pulling girls not pua) and what are they like? You've had your free year pass of messing around on the forum, gotta up your game man. I never post serious shit anymore, so take this post as me being sincere and not trying to get forum boner points or being your cheerleader. |
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My social groups nights out on the town pretty much died about 2-3 years ago. We're all in our early-mid 30's; if you include me in a group of 15 male friends, I'm the only single one. They've all on average been in LTR's/married for 5 years + if not longer & 9 of them have kids. When you get to this age and your at that stage in your life, adult stuff, kids & work take priority. Nobody really has any interest in hitting the town anymore, more important things to spend money on. Admittedly I can't stand night clubs myself. This is by no means an excuse - just trying to explain how it is as I'd estimate your a student in your early twenties and its maybe something you wouldn't totally understand given your still in your prime of nights out getting pissed just for the pure fun of it. So the way it really goes for now, if I'm out shopping which is maybe once a fortnight, or out on the town which is probably maybe once every 6-8 weeks I try and take these chances as they come. Certainly looking at my calender my next planned night on the town isn't until mid April. |
You have to go out regularly with wings. Go find some wings now, on any forum, mass message. Make it happen. Going out regularly (3-4 nights a week) WITH wings is mandatory. Its the one true path to learning this, no one else did it any differently. You're the same as everyone else.
Okay do you drink? Do you like bars as opposed to clubs? What do you want out of all this? E.g. a girlfriend asap, a bit of a dating/sex life then a girlfriend, to be a player for a few solid years, to be a pua. How much are you willing to put into this and how much do you want it? Wings > everything else in pua/dating industry. Word up. Going out regularly > This forum, videos, material* * I said 3-4 nights because you have catching up to do. Not making fun or AMOG'ing or lecturing you, but the reality is that you missed out on a lot of fucking/dating/harrassing women. Dude you need to hit this shit HARD. You only have a few things that can happen on a night out; you approach, you socialise, you pull. There isn't anything else. Anything else is subjective, a style, marketing, mental masturbation or semantics. In fact you could consider approaching just a form of pulling (escalating). For approaching and socialising I'd say go out 7 nights a week because those are things that you can do whilst only out for an hour or two whilst on work days whilst gaining lots of experience and confidence. After you've got that down you should save nights out for pulling. Nights where you are putting your all into it rather than "I will go out and do x,y,z but be home at 1:46am". Nights where you get pumped up to out, you put on your good aftershave, do your hair, nice shirt, shoes. You know 'On the pull' haha. So you can get the first phase (socialising and approaching) handled quite quickly if you go out a fuck tonne. Even during this phase you can still pull and by all means go for it BUT generally if you have anxieties and difficulty just approaching and making conversation pulling is an unrealistic goal. |
I'd like to add that going out solo, while being seriously fucking tough starting off, is great for getting good fast. Provided you're crazy and determined enough to do it. But then again you have to be pretty crazy and determined to do this properly anyway. When you go out solo you've got no safety net to run back to, so you learn quickly that you've got to spend your time socialising.
When I was getting good I'd do a solo night at least once a week just to push myself. I'd highly recommend that along with going out with other people. I think how valuable a wing is is really dependent on who the wing is and what he's like. I've been out with some really great wings who've been a massive help, but I've also been out with some total weirdos who do nothing but stand around and bitch. If I was going out to really put in work I'd take solo any day over work mates or some mouth breather from the LSS. Worked pretty well for me anyway. |
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I started off with solo day / night baby steps. I still do it if I find myself on my own somewhere. It is tough. But it's good to feel you have that option.
There's less peer pressure. That could be seen as a disadvantage on the one hand, as nobody will encourage / push you. On the plus side though you feel less like you're being judged if you fuck up. In my case I preferred solo to start with. The hardest part is avoiding going in your head and becoming stifled. It forces you to get out of yourself and be social as there's no alternative. If you can have a good night on your own, make some friends, chat girls, it does a lot for your confidence. What I've found is you notice other guys who are doing the same thing. I've met a few guys in this way who became like my wing for that night. The 95% of people who are out in their social groups just don't see all this going on. I would add though that if you're starting off, depending on your level of social / approach anxiety you need to watch you don't start getting a lot of negative experiences by over-reaching and looking for outcomes, validation, etc. You want to build on positives gradually. Initially I was not trying to hit on girls or pull, I was just approaching, saying hi, maybe giving them a compliment then bailing. It's gradual exposure to build your confidence. This is especially important starting off on your own because there's no one to pick you up if you get a bad reaction. I think this isn't far off the mark at all, it fits with my experience so far: http://www.goodlookingloser.com/appr...xiety-program/ |
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- do a half arsed approach when it looks easy - runs back to your pickup buddies to talk shop - repeat half an hour later Going out solo doesn't give you the option to go half arsed like that. Instead of falling into other people's lackluster pace you set your own, which is almost always faster and more proactive. It also works especially well starting off because you're more sensitive to the social pressure of standing/wandering round on your own. Nowadays when I'm on my own in a club the worst feeling I might get is occasional boredom, but when you start out you feel like a fucking FREAK when you're on your own in a bar/club. It'll be really hard the first few times you do it, but you learn pretty fast just to keep going round and socialising, and that kind of attitude then carries over to every time you go out regardless of who you're with. Which is what you want really. |
That's true. When I went out solo abroad the other week I realised after each interaction ended I had no group to go back to. So I just went straight into another approach. It was definitely a higher pace than I've done when out with my mates.
The bar I ended up in had three floors. I just moved around opening as I went. I had been in there a few weeks before but left after 10 minutes because I felt too self-conscious and started micro-managing myself. A guy bumped me as he went past and I thought he did it deliberately. But he was probably just drunk. I was determined to go back and give it another go felt better for doing that. If you can tough it out through the initial discomfort it does get easier. |
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