FRIDAY
On Friday, I took a cute high energy French bird on a Day 2. We'd met the previous Friday at Ziggy's, Hoxton Square, where I'd picked her up (literally - both arms)...

We worked through a meal and bottle of wine in a Moroccan restaurant I'd booked. In the Rebus world of happy coincidences, it turned out she'd been on holiday to Morroco earlier this year and was visiting yet AGAIN next month for a wedding. So you can imagine the kudos on me booking a restaurant that she said was PERFECT for her. Winner... oh, and later on a belly dancer turned up!

A friend of hers was texting about meeting up with us at the pub, and she brought along a guy who she was on a date with. So with three Frenchies I bashed though my increasingly crap broken French, to much hilarity.

"La musique du fromage" was my particular highlight as it turned out there's no direct translation concept of "cheesy music" in French language. Oh well.

FRENCH FRENCH KISSING

The other couple went off to the smoking area, so I initiated some French kissing on my French bird. Then I pulled her up onto my lap, to get better kino.

The French guy abandoned his date, went home early alone in a huff about something so I took the two birds to Ziggy's, aka Rebus HQ.

The night ended at a salt beef bagel joint, then the French ladies left together.

SATURDAY
On Saturday evening, I joined in with a BBQ at JJB's garden.

Then five of us then headed out to Shoreditch; we hit The Water Poet for one drink (it surprisingly closed at 11 PM) then across the road to The Drunken Monkey (VERY quiet compared to previous visits).

ATTACK OF THE SICKO

At The Drunken Monkey, some cunt was sick on JJB's leg!

To be clear, it was alcoholic fluid projectile sickness without any remnants of food. Still bang out of order! I put my hand on his shoulder, turned him around towards JJB and said you owe my mate a better apology. Which he gave.

SLIM ASIAN HOTTIE

On the way north up Shoreditch High Street, I spotted a stunning Asian bird walking briskly. So I stepped out in front of her, "STOP!" with my hands up like some traffic controller knob.

Rebus: "Hey, I like your style... I like what's going on here, this cardigan, there's not many people who would wear a cardigan in summer..."
HBAsian: smiling, blah, some response
Rebus [kino'ed her arm], some more chat

I number closed her quite quickly. She was rushing on a mission to avoid missing the last tube. Sent her a text once we reached the next venue and she has been texting me back and forward quite a bit since. Winner.

This was the only bird I'd opened so far that night and I closed her. FYI, my opening text: "Sorry, I hope you didn't miss your last tube. We have gone on to a club where my friends are debating: what's better to have, spaghetti arms or jelly legs?"

COCKBLOCKED BY A GLASS OF ROSÉ

We hit the Hoxton Square Bar & Kitchen, it was absolutely jumping! I opened various hot birds, having some chat.

Then a hot girl with glasses on caught my eye. Do y'all know about the sub-culture of slim busty girls who wear thick rimmed glasses as "sexy nerdy" look, right? So I opened with something like, "are you one of these cute girls that wear glasses just to look trendy? do you actually need glasses?"

We chatted for ten mins, then her friends announced "COME AND DANCE WITH US!!", leading her away. So I followed to the packed dancefloor, 100’s of revellers. More chat in her ear. I could not dance with her as I was being cockblocked by a glass of rosé!

As a man, you must lead the woman. After the third time of prompting for her to finish her drink, she said "I don't even like rosé, my friend bought it for me!" - yet without my intervention that damn glass was never going to be discarded. So she drank some more of it, I'd already finished my Scotch, so now I could I put the drinks glasses to one side. Finally!

THE DAILY GRIND

I led her away from her friends. The dancefloor was so packed that we didn't need to go to far. Cue much kissing and intense grinding! Man, that girl likes to grind my leg. She was totally up for it. We were locked together as one in the intensity of this packed dancefloor, me rubbing my semi against her and her grinding away like a champion.

Discussed the logistics that would aid an SNL back to mine, then led her off the dancefloor and away to some fairly private seats in the quieter area. More kissing, then with a wet finder I started gently rubbing her nipple. She had a tight sexy corset on, it was tricky to reach the nipple.

Buuuutttt.. she had some friend over in London visiting her, staying at her's, over for a weekend with her. No way around that one, she had to look out for her, she was sorry.

Number closed, then it was lights on (venue closes at 2 AM).

Hit the streets with JJB, we wandered for about twenty minutes with a tall opinionated lassie, we actually all had a bit in common each of us complaining about the quality of Vistaprint business cards! The woman handed out some business cards then ran for a bus nearby. JJB and I tried to get into another club, gave up and went home.