Dice Rants!
 

So I'm making a thread for my typical rants and tales of nights out, should be fun.

Went out for a quiet drink with a few friends last night after have a pretty hectic week in work and wanting to unwind. We end up with this group of 30-40 social isolates, don't ask me how (they were friends of a friend...). I got hit on by this 40 or so woman, who to be fair wasn't that bad looking ... interesting. But things get pretty awkward quickly so we move on, they follow us! We move again to a quieter place and relax a bit.

It doesn't take long before I'm pretty relaxed and ready for some game! Start small talk with the girl behind the bar, she was pretty cute but they were closing up and I kind of got the impression she was more interested in getting home.

So! After having learn't my lesson from last week in not take close friends when your sarging I meet up with another mate down in a student venue, some pretty decent talent in there but I just wasn't feeling it, I had decided to continue nonetheless until my mate got kicked out for falling asleep! Hilarity ensues...

So we move on to fab, were to be fair I'm quite a bit more comfortable and able to get into my mood, get started talking with this one girl who's not my type in the slightest but I'm just getting warmed up a little, she blows me out! But I laugh it off it was quite funny actually, we hugged and walked off. Though I felt a little bit of progress in taking it on the chin where something like that would have normally bugged me, but basically...

Her: This conversation isn't really working is it?
Me: Nah but god loves a tryer!

I quite like that line actually, knowing that it really doesn't matter if you get blown out and that you can laugh it off gives me a little more confidence with opening. So I sit down for a bit and notice this cute girl sat a few seats down on her own, couldn't help but feel I was pouncing a bit on her, but who could resist? So we get talking and I'm noticing I'm acting really energetic, give her the usual hugs, arm touch etc. After a while we're dancing I go in for a kiss, no resistance though she's a little shy, turns out her work friends are right next to us mocking her! Ha! The night ends, I playfully hint that I'll get her number in the morning , she wasn't having any of it (I may have been a bit too presumptuous here), I get her number and she leaves.

I know it really shouldn't bother me, and that it's ok not to get the fuck, but it kind of does a little, it makes me feel unsuccessful. Though I'm more concerned about resolving my mindset on this than actually learning on how to get a more successful close...

But all in all, not a bad night despite all the negatives! Should be out again tonight, lets see how it plays out.

So Jynx has pretty much ordered me to write a field report on how today went, will be honest though I'm not feeling great at the moment, not related ofcourse I just get this way sometimes,

Met up with Jymx and Topman86 in Oyster bar for a daytime pint, its funny though I had never really considered this as 'daytime' game, when I arrived Jynx had already opened a couple of girls, who seemed nice but admittedly not high up the scale. Nevertheless we had a bit of a joke about, and much to me shock and horror, one of them said I looked like a vampire, the sparkly kind, the "Edward" of England as it were. I wanted to spontaneously combust if it were ever possible, though I admit that wouldn't necessarily help my cause.

So anyway, the younger of the two was rather in to me, but I wasn't really aware of it until afterwards we parted ways and that was all. We went to Spinningfields and sampled the talent, to be fair I was a little intimidated by Jynx's game but I managed to open one or two sets and get a bit of conversation going.

Later on I end up in fab as I always do, opened quite a number of sets to be fair, I had a few exchanges of number, though I don't remember half of them, and that's not necessarily due to drunk memory, since I'm actually just as drunk writing this. I'm actually texting back one of the girls who asked me for my number right now, who's trying to explain that she's not that interested and is sorry if she led me on,

Interesting thought since I don't care that much, I just thought I'd text back out of politeness, I've never actually been in the position where I'm texting a girl with the explicit intent of trying to get her to leave me alone, despite her being pretty fit. There you go...

Oh yeah, and one of the girls we met during the day had admitted to wanting to lick my face, a bit weird I'll be honest...

You should have gone out with Topman and Jynx

That was the plan, but I had forgotten to call topman lol after Jynx had to leave in the evening, there is always next weekend though!

Update
 

So it's been a while since I've posted something up here, thought I ought to post an update, last time I was out sarging must have been about two weeks ago so I'm already feeling out of practice (what little practice there was to begin with!). So I met up again with the girl I met on that night out (the shy one with her work mates), a couple of times, plenty of suggestive texts and she spends one or two nights over at mine (its exactly what it implies, you get the picture).

So I'm enjoying my time with her right now, but I'm feeling like I would be giving up early or kind of just taking what I can get, if I was to start seeing her properly. I'm quite probably just over thinking shit.

Went for a little excursion down to Deangate locks again last night with phil99, started off in Baa Bar, which was absolutely dead, I mean I was literally the only person in there. Started a bit of small talk with the girl on the bar, she was nice we had a bit of a joke around then left for next door where it seemed a little livelier.

Straight off the bar we get eyed up by this group of Russian girls, I had no idea why at the time since my game at the time was abysmal, but I quickly cottoned on to the fact they were merely flirting to get a round of drinks. At first I got a little frustrated at that, but then I kind of thought their playing just the same as we were, just for a different goal. So we move on an try approaches as per the usual, stumble across two girls sat to the side, but one was relentlessly trying to prevent talking to the other (as she was quite a bit more sober and intelligible) so I tried keeping her occupied whilst phil99 talked to her for a bit, emphasis on 'tried'.

After this I dotted around and tried opening a few sets, and to be fair I wasn't on form as I got a fair few rejections, varying from 'im just going to the toilet', 'do you need showing where the door is?', and 'was lovely chatting with you, oh hey this is my boyfriend'. That last one was a kicker.

I think I started to realize that I was trying to qualify myself to them, as though I was trying to sell myself, where instead I should have been buying, and not selling. By the end of it all I was a little bummed out, but I'm trying now to take each night as a positive regardless of outcome, everything's a learning experience. So long as you do actually 'learn' something!

This is a good realisation. I noticed the word 'trying' featured a lot in your field report.

I treat bad experiences with equal if not more weight in my learning.

Yeah I always tend to be a bit uncertain of myself, it's a bad habit I need to break.

That being said however, I did notice a point of personal growth that I was pleased with. As throughout the night I'd noticed a girl that caught my eye, that I thought was particularly attractive, and instead of sitting around sipping my drink just went over and introduced myself. I like the thought of not being restricted in a social environment, to be able to talk to whomever I like.

Good - simply taking action is the first step.

Adopting a 'buyer' mentality is difficult at first, but by identifying the problem you are already some way towards working on the solution anyway (as long as you keep going out!)

Just had a read of this and it's made me realize what I already thought. This is I need to come out with some of you lot one time.

I'm not expert. I'd say I'm a small fish in a fucking fish tank at the moment. But I'm doing what I can with what I've got. I have involved my mates on a couple of occasions but and even got my mate who is a virgin to get into 2 girls in 1 night (to be fair I may have got into them 1st but hey ho, he seemed to enjoy it) and getting another mate who has only got laid once before and (had to ask the girl if it counted.....) to shag a half decent engaged bird.

This is all well and good for them but I'm not learning anything from them except what not to do. And they're not always as enthusiastic as me.

Plus it would get me out of my little comfort zone of a town and right in at the deep end. Feel like I could learn a lot from just one night out with 1 or a few you.

You learn a lot just by getting out of your usual rhythm and breaking the cycle, stepping out of your comfort zone can be a real challenge but it's the only way you can evolve.

Yeah I've been at this fr about 6 months now on and off, given myself a couple weeks off last two weeks but hitting it hard again this weekend.

My last little mission was see if I could get off with 5 birds in 5 weeks. Did it but 4/5 were in my home town so thought I would cool down a bit before I got a bit of a reputation for it.

How often do you meet up with people off this?

We meet up for improv each week on Thursday, but besides that just whenever its pretty random to be fair

Last week I went out for a bit of a weekday sarge a few times during the week. Met up with Phil99, Liam and Bombhead at various points. Some interesting results, but I'm finding myself more up in my own head space right now, which is quite frustrating but I'm trying to get used to going out and talking to people without the need to get a few drinks first.

Biggest problem with weekday sarge of course is that it takes a bit of time for things to get busy, or at least to the point where it's not obvious what your up to, and by the time it does it's right about time to go home (I work full time), but we continued on nonetheless.

I'm finding myself almost mute when opening sets though, I mean I'm barely talking at all, and I can only start a bit of talk going once initiated by one of the other guys, it embarrassing! So anyway we get talking to a few groups, phil99 gets approached by this drunk girl which was quite funny, he does his thing and gets the number and the kiss. Pretty slow night, though got talking to this group in Dry bar, and I had a really good conversation going with one girl about computational and neurological linguistics so I go over later on with bombhead to reopen the group. So I try getting her number, her mates take the hint and wander off to the bar leaving us on our own, but she rejects with the whole 'I'm flattered speech', swing and a miss I guess, but it killed any momentum I had going.

Ah well, just have to keep at it I guess...

What is wrong with being social and talking to other people? Whats more, who would bat an eyelid?

Nothing major, but people do start to notice if there are only 2-3 groups in and the bar/door staff tend to take note of it too, especially if your a regular (I tend to go to the same places for social occasions also).

Where is the problem with people noticing you?

Out again last night with Shansha and XF Chris, fucking legendary night to be fair, started off with a few beers in Kro. I've been going out recently whilst trying to remain sober that I've forgotten how much fun it is to just have a few beers and enjoy the night.

We hit up a few student places, I felt really vibrant and energetic, got speaking to loads of different people. I'm finding myself just enjoying conversation at the moment rather than trying to chase a close, it's much more enjoyable although I did find myself kissing a really attractive girl at one point....

So anyway after that I thought I'd try mentioning inadvertently that I was already seeing somebody to make it more obvious that I wasn't actually trying to get into a girls undercrackers, and whilst this did seem to get a bit more trust it didn't feel like the same kind of interaction I was getting throughout the night, not quite sure how I feel about this but never mind.

So not quite a field report per se but something I thought I'd post. I'd noticed the other day that it had been exactly a year since I split up with my long term girlfriend (of around four years), it was a meagre relationship that we were still in mainly because of comfort, the thought occurred after pondering how quickly ones lifestyle and situation can change drastically in such a small time scale.

So anyway, I've been up here for about 6 months, and working in my current position to which at the moment I'm pretty integral (not trying to boast, it's just the company has me doing the job of about 4 people). And now I'm finding that I've made friends, contacts and have had new experiences, and that a new opportunity has made itself available. It's yet to be confirmed, but I would be involved with going on tour with bands and whatnot, learning new shit and getting paid generously, I'd be stupid not to take it up right?

But the usual fear of change is kicking in, what if this, what if that, I mean I know that I should be willing to take risks and what not, but still. And it would require me devoting a lot of my time towards it, in that I'd have fuck all of a social life for about 3 months, which would seriously hurt my ability to go out and practice socialising, something I've grown pretty fond of doing lately.

You'd be touring with bands which would seriously damage your social life?

It's 3 months, best case scenario you absolutely love it and have the time of your life
worst case scenario it sucks after one week but you have skype and phone to chat to your friends family and you are generously paid for 3 months

I've just upped sticks a week ago and moved to Montreal.
No job or anything and everybody speaks French as their first language (most people also speak English as their second)
If it's fear I can tell you that no matter what it will work out ok in the end!

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got

Good stuff, I'd feel really bad about leaving my current place since were mid-project and I wouldn't be leaving them in a good way, guess it's just business though.

Awesome
 

Was out with XFC and Shahansha, Dave and Shaun in 5th after Improv, and to say the least I thoroughly enjoyed the night, mainly because I had stopped worrying about any pressure on approaching or 'sarging', and just set out to have a decent night.

I had a few brews, but I wasn't drunk, actually I was fairly lucid and very aware of my body language, which makes quite a change since historically I've gotten absolutely slaughtered, and pulled ... somehow, with no memory of how I did it (and I'm often quite curious as to how?). It was pretty enlightening to observe my own behaviour when reasonably drunk but still lucid enough as not to be talking like a stammering idiot!

Two thing's I learnt from last night, and one thing enforced...

1. Enjoy yourself
At the end of the day, your out to have fun, there's no need in going out with the pure intention of 'pulling', be willing to go home alone.

2. Social Proof
I hate using pua terms, but this one served a purpose last night, as I spent the first few hours just wandering around talking to people and introducing myself, developing a bit of a friendly environment. This then came into use later on when approaching groups, as one or two of the group already knew me and were quite happy to introduce me to the group making it a lot easier to get comfortable.

3. Kino
Escalation has always been difficult for me unless inebriated, as I was always unsure whether or not to attempt it. This is nothing new, and I'm sure you guys are all aware of it, I'm just starting to get a bit more practice with it. Just picking up on the little signs, innocent but contacting gestures, eye contact, touching hair, looking at lips then eyes etc, etc building up intimacy and contact with her. Of course on occasion she will be a bit more drunk than you so the little signs are pretty damn obvious, so its almost impossible to not pick up on it.

So that's it for last night! Might be out again tonight depending on how the night goes, I want to get the hang on drinking the right amount, feeling a buzz and getting comfortable, without overstepping to the point of slurring or acting like a dick (which I have done on occasion!).

Went out to the old home town stomping grounds last night, was kind of a good night, met up with some old mates and then out meeting folk! Went to a bar with shishe pipes, and had a conversation with a few folk at the bar, nice girls.

Anyhow's started talking to somebody at the other side of the club, she looked about late twenties to early thirties, turns out she was 42! I made a few jokes about women around her age know their way around the bed posts after she commented that maybe I should be trying to hit on somebody my own age, but I don't know there's something about 'cougars' that's inherently sexy. So anyway, we end up kissing, she was pretty coming on pretty strong to be fair, but then her friend dragged her away, I laughed and moved on.

So I went to the bar to get a drink, and without thinking I said hi! to the first person besides me, and before I even realised I turned around and it was my ex whom I've not spoken to in months! Awkwardness aside we started talking and catching up, one thing led to another and we head back to hers. Kinda feels like this was a bit of a cop out though, but there you have it, there was my Saturday!

So weird one yesterday, I'm down to Oxford for a conference and I'm surrounded by like minded geeky people (yes acne problems where quite prevalant). Great conference a lot of very intelligent speakers,but I found myself as shy as I used to be, literally couldn't speak to a soul. That is of course until the after party, after only one ale (those who know me know that I can drink a lot more that one ale) I knew everybody, shaking hands, forgetting names, playing games (not metaphorically, they actually had multiplayer retro games consoles, I was playing bomberman for hours), got offered yet another job, you get the picture. Suffice to say I didn't stop at one, I mean come on free booze, wouldn't you take your fill?

But I'm thinking now, that my social inadequacy isn't overcome by a little social lubrication, but maybe the frame set that merely the introduction of alcohol presents? One step closer I guess...

But anyhow, that was my Friday!
Stay classy San Diego.

You out tonight?

And to top it off I found myself drunk off my ass in the middle of Oxford with no idea where I was, a blocked card, no phone or tablet, and two guys following me, not pleasant at all. Managed to get a taxi and pay via offset card transaction, though I was hoping for a bumming, oh well... Hah!

Yeah man, think I'm meeting a mate at NQLive but I'll be out after that, give us a text fella

Out again last night with XFC and Shahansha, great night as always with those guys, I always love going out after improv since your already in the banter mood and you tend to have a right laugh while doing it.

We start getting into the swing of things, a few approaches, here and there but the focus seemed to be more on just having a bit of a fuck about and enjoying the night. So you don't really care if you get blown out or rejected, plus being with the guys is a reassuring return, even if things go tits up you know you've got a mate there giving you a pat on the back "good try mate", it sounds a bit too needy or requiring of approval but it tends to keep your spirits up.

Anyway! Shahansha cottoned on to a few lair guys floating about, I didn't pay them much attention until he mentioned them to be honest, but after he noted it I couldn't help but laugh at them, they looked like weird creepy people hanging around the bar waiting for the end of the night to pounce on some drunk girl. Being stone cold sober (which from other threads works fine for some people) and not showing even the slightest hint of a smile or even that your having fun, then I mean seriously, what is the point of you even being there?

So closing the near of the end of the night, XFC and Shahansha shoot off and I'm left with a girl on the side and here comes my dilemma, I seem to be completely inept in sealing the deal so to speak, numbers and saliva were exchanged but my nights invariably end with a girls friends stealing her away, me losing her, or on occasion me just losing interest and forgetting (that one can't be helped!).

Ah well, time to practice a bit of text game!

Right so typical improv night, besides me skipping out on the first hour having met a mate a little later than expected, I'll admit to being a little down due to the news from last week which one or two members decide to use to an advantage in "I love you but I just can't smile", but shall remain nameless!

Anyhows the usual antics resumed in Fab Cafe with the casual crew as we typically like to do, closing time comes and we part ways. Now walking home I got talking to two girls from Glasgow (I'm a sucker for a Glaswegian accent, I mean seriously, it gets me wetter than Shahansha in a nursery), they wanted pointing towards the hotel they were staying at, I gladly obliged and joined them for a few after party drinks in the hotel bar where we were joined by a jolly Canadian who seemed hell bent on getting us all wankered (seriously he was buying everybody rounds of drinks). Got talking to a few folks in a similar line of work as me, made connections and all that.

Got back to my Scottish bird, she was rather tasty, I unintentionally cock blocked the Canadian guy, but he ended up bedding the 'larger' girl of the two, whilst I kept my eyes on the prize! Though to little avail she had a boyfriend and was pretty faithful, so overall I got pretty plastered stayed up ridiculously late to the point where it made no sense to sleep (I've not been to bed yet! My head hurts...) But had most of my drinks bought by a Canadian guy who ended up getting his rocks off with an oversized girl!

Good night.
Out again Shahansha?

Out again last night with Shahansha, every night seems to end up mental with that guy. Head over to the usual haunt after a quick pint in Paramount. Shahansha suggested setting ourselves a target of approaching within 10 minutes, I said 5 for a laugh, but fair dues the first two girls in the door and he was on them like flies on shit.

I had set a timer on my phone which then went off whilst doing a number exchange, kind of funny but nobody noticed. Don't usually entertain that type of stuff so I blame Shahansha haha!

Anyway, open a few conversations, got yelled at by one girl acting as the 'alpha' of the group, it's funny to try to diffuse these situations, I typically just jump back chilled and say 'calm down I'm just saying hi!', to be honest it didn't get me anywhere but she responds with 'sorry I'm just being overprotective' and then pulls her friends away to the bar.

Shahansha noticed one of the lair guys where there is apparently a rivalry (I honestly can't be arsed with rivalry between forums, I think most here are the same to be fair) or at least some animosity. He looked a right tosser! Really creepy guy obviously pea-cocked to shit. He'd sent one of the guys he was with to interrupt our conversation, not used to that to be honest, just responded with 'who are you?' not sure if he left because it was awkward or because he recognised me, either way it was a tad funny.

The night carried on, we talk to folk, though I'm finding myself more and more disinterested in actually pulling, I'm just enjoying the conversation and meeting people right now so did one or two phone number swaps but that was it. I'll admit it seems a lot easier to go and talk to somebody since your not really after anything, there's no pressure.

After that we went to BDBR, and to be honest it's the first time I've been in there after 12, I really don't rate it at all, sat talking to some guys on the side, got a few photos had a few laughs, made what I could with it.

Heading home and I pop into Burger King (I hate doing this since I'm supposed to be training, but hell after a few beers it seems like a good idea). This was strange though I'm really unsure what happened, the guy gives me an extra burger and a large drink when I only ordered a small. Nothing in my experience comes free so I'm wondered how I was tricked there, ah well.

Fun times had by all.

You were fucked by the end of it and showed me a funny text.

When am I not fucked by the end of it lol, and what funny text was that? Remember you leaving at some point in BDBR

Check the text you sent your girl at 4am.

I left same time as you, brah.

Lol fuck me, remember you walking past thought you must have been leaving, don't remember passed that point. Good times :P

I ran the Manchester 10k today, I ran for charity but I'm not the one to boast philanthropy, partly the reason I had ran, was because I set myself a challenge, I had set myself a challenge to run in a certain time bracket [50-55 mins], not an all that impressive feat I shall admit, but a challenge nonetheless. So I set myself the target and I prepared, and I achieved it, none greater is the satisfaction of achieving what one sets out to obtain, unless of course that sense of satisfaction comes from true acceptance of ones self, but that's another story.

Drunk now, celebrating the victory!

Went out for improv last night, first time in a few weeks since i've been a bit ill, had been drinking all day with no food so suffice to say I was completely and utterly ruined. Being that smashed however made it somewhat hilarious, I couldn't even hold a conversation during story tag, but seemed to manage questions alright. Fun times were had by all.

Was it busy?

So I wrote on here about taking a risk with a new job, new life etc, still based here in the big Manc, but completely different to what I used to do, there was a huge risk as to whether I would take to it. I did, or at least I took the risk, if at the very least for shits and giggles, thinking of following through and moving as well, should probably leave it a few weeks to make sure it all works out.

This is all great and all but I've noticed a certain behaviour characteristic in myself and I'm not sure what to take from it, I've noticed that whenever I get comfortable, or where things get static (I'm in the same job, same relationship, same home) I choose to throw it into the wind. It seems a sense of content comes with a sense of unease for me. Nevertheless, let's see how things wind up!