Nova's back!

Wed after hours

I finished work and left the office around 8pm, was a chaotic day, but felt good. I had got back on the exercise, cleaner diet, no beer and started meditation over the past few days, so probably beginning to see some of the benefits.

I left work in a decent enough mood, and on the way home I see a couple of girls. I was feeling a bit lazy and made excuses not to approach. Then, I saw a Vietnamese girl with long boots looking all glam. More recently I've been wanting to tone down my direct approach, so told her she looked nice and left some intrigue.

Anyway, the thing I enjoyed about the interaction was I allowed myself to flow more. I was feeling more in the moment, and talked about random stuff I wanted to talk about, as opposed to thinking so much. This is what I've been missing, and I am now hoping to 'do' less, and 'be' more.

Thurs after hours

Again after a looong day at work I leave around 8pm and walk through town. I see a few girls and yet again catch myself making dumbass excuses. Do I not want some pussy?? Any one of these girls could be a nice fuck buddy for the Winter months.

I then see a nice looking Korean chick and go after her. She's only been in Manchester a week and is studying English. I speak carefully at first , but her English is good and we get into a nice conversation about football and music. Something I was better at today was eye contact. The vibe was really good, I could feel attraction on her part when compared to all the sets I've had in the past couple of weeks. I could sense she was swept off her feet by the whole experience. Nice.

I was buzzing from this, and it has reminded why I love talking to girls so much. However I am not approaching enough girls. The other thing, I am relying on my good experiences like today to plod along. I need to take more rough with the smooth and hammer some tougher girls who are gonna throw some shit tests at me so I can learn more. That means hotter more confident girls.

What happened in the end?

Why do you think you've started making excuses? That doesn't sound like you? A bit rusty after being away from it for a few months?

We exchanged numbers, it was a no brainer. I text her a couple of hours later and told her it was cool to meet her. Her response was ‘Me too, I was astonished!’. She sounds excited :P


While I might be rusty, I will make up excuses not to approach. Most of it is me protecting myself from negative emotions, or worse still protecting my self-image, so I will say things like ‘Oh I’m tired/I’ll do it at the wkd/she’s probably in a rush… etc. All bullshit. The main excuse is a much bigger picture and comes from me not even considering the hotter girls as I will not feel entitled to them and assume they will not be interested in me. With an attitude like that, they won't.

If it doesn’t sound like me, I guess it’s because now I am trying to face up to my fears more. Time get honest with myself.

Really? I read this whole thread start to finish and you've been doing this for yonks now with plenty of success - you still get those thoughts? I guess its always still in the background and never goes away.

I had a good run of success through the Summer months, but this was just the beginning of what I was capable of, so stopping when I did, I lost the momentum.

Only 4/5 years ago I barely believed I could get a girlfriend, and was always the 'nice guy' in the friend's zone. Changing this is gonna take more than a few months. This is a longer journey, but from what I've experienced so far, it's gonna be worth it!

Chilling in town

One of my old flames from the summer was back in the country for a few days so finished banging her this morning then headed to the art supply shop. I felt so ridiculously chilled breezing through the crowds and had a couple of girls check me out, but I couldn't be bothered approaching. This troubled me a little as today I intended to do more approaching.

Anyway, i get in the art shop and there's this mega cute Korean girl checking stuff out. This was a must. I went over and told her she looked pretty (she was gorgeous). Great eye contact and vibing. She'd just moved to Manchester from Germany to work as an engineer and likes her art, interesting girl. She mentioned a boyfriend when telling me about Christmas shopping, but it was passing comment within her list of friends and family. I had to stop myself asking about this, it's irrelevant.

I then thought I'd test to see how interested she was and we fell silent for a few seconds/vacumed while holding eye contact. She didn't make any excuses to leave and we continued vibing. We exchanged numbers, and she told me I should add her on Facebook.

This week I've maintained a healthy diet of fish and greens, no beer (except 2 last night), went jogging on Tues & Thurs, and managed 4 stints of meditation. I feel this is all helping somewhat with mood, sharpness of mind, etc. It will have to be more longterm to have a genuine effect though.

I arranged to hook up with this chick this afternoon so I naturally took her to Northern Quarter for an introduction into English ale. The vibe was chilled and she was receptive to me touching her hand, which later turned into me holding her hand between venues. Turns out this girl is a creative and loves photography, think we're gonna get along well. Her English was pretty poor though so coudln't express myself as freely as I would have liked, but it was a nice laid back affair.

We end up at the Christmas Markets and had some more beer and food, then I took her to the bus stop. She was a bit shy, plus I was rusty, so was tough creating a decent kissing moment but she was happy with all my other physical advances. No rush, next time.

Reflecting more on this date, I now need to admit to myself that I was playing it too safe for fear of scaring off the girl. Fool. This is totally the wrong attitude. I should have tested the water at least 2/3 times and tried to make out with this girl, as we were hanging out a good 4 hours. One moment in particular I had here isolated and was showing her the delights of the architecture in the Barton Arcade, I could have easily pulled her in and tried here.

There was sufficient comfort built up to have tried this, especially thinking back to the fact we were feeding each other food in the market. Doh!