Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunch of Twigs
I've been studying pick up a lot for about three or four months and have been out practicing with it, with more success than I thought I would get. My problem is though I can a approach a girl and get talking to her and get a lot of interest but I only take it so far.
I'm still a virgin and I keep thinking if I get to take them home and it becomes apparent I've no experience what's going to happen then, as im 35 and its going to freak them out and im under the impression girls like an experienced man.
I often feel really low and feel I've left it far to late I've changed a lot from the man I used to be I used to be extremely shy and hide away and now I don't. Sometimes wonder if its going to be impossible for me.
Anyone any ideas?
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Buddy do you have any idea of the magnitude of what you are doing?
Most people plod through life and shit just happens to them. You on the other hand, have taken stock and are ripping the weeds out of your head bare handed. Almost nobody does it so the fact that you are working on it is something you should be fucking proud of!
Your problem is that you have forced one foot into the present, but the other foot is still firmly in the past. You don't get to your thirties as a virgin without it taking a toll. From the things you say I can tell that you carry a lot of shame, guilt and fear around with you and your mind is using all the thoughts about inexperience to frighten you out of taking what it perceives as risks. The truth is, which you well know, the bigger risk is not taking those "risks" at all.
You need to work on identifying a given thought or belief that is holding you back, and finding ways to realise that they are not really risks at all.
For example, the belief that your inexperience will lead to judgement, shame…etc. Look around you, women are always moaning about the dick head men they have to endure! You don't have to be perfect, you just have to be ok with not being perfect.
It's about unravelling that shit so you can just relax and enjoy being horny so nature takes it's course. At the moment you are so focused on sex as this thing you must accomplish to fix yourself, that you can't just let your sex drive take over.
Anyway I've rambled on too much, hope this helps and keep up the good work!