It doesn't sound like the escorts are helping your anxiety, it's overriding everything.
I think you're back to the start of the thread and the first few posts- you'll get opportunities if you are meetings girls and emotionally aware - you may mess some up, some may be crap- everyone has been through it and they'll be your war stories.
In your OP you talked about feeling low- ditch the stigma/shame/guilt they serve no purpose and everyone's path is different.
When it happens, and it will whether it's a month a week or a year from now, you'll think was that all this was about.
Good luck