Ok so the plot has thickened, went to see my ex on Monday for the old swapping of each others stuff. Ended up hanging out with her for few hours and having a talk about things.

Turns out she didn't split up with me because she want's to go away, it was because of 'the incident' I mentioned at the start that happened around Christmas. Which as basic as I can put it: We went to Manchester Christmas market to see one of her best mates, I got too drunk and ended up fighting. Was just with a random guy who was kicking off on his gf, but his gf ended up hitting my ex's mate n shit. All a major fuck up.

So I felt guilty and ashamed as fuck after this n it affected me pretty bad. And obviously me hating myself and not feeling myself wasn't very attractive and it eventually crumbled the relationship.

So what now? I feel she still has feelings for me but is conflicted because she's made the decision to finish it, but may be for the wrong reasons. She text me after we saw each other saying we need to let go, and she was upset. I carried on texting her that night n she basically said she doesn't know how to feel about me. And the last text was about potentially meeting up on Sat (Valentines day, so yeah not ideal) I've got a restaurant booked for us. I felt the text where going a bit more positively from her saying we should let go to her last text was 'I'll have to think about it' (regarding meeting up)

Thursday now and haven't heard anything.

Side Note: I never promised to her that me fighting would never happen again. But feel maybe I should.
I also told her knowing that the reason we split was because I wasn't acting like myself meant I though it was worth fighting for, and I wanted to hang out so it was just me being me, not the negative mind frame that messed things up.