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(#11)
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Default 12-02-2015, 05:40 PM

Ok so the plot has thickened, went to see my ex on Monday for the old swapping of each others stuff. Ended up hanging out with her for few hours and having a talk about things.

Turns out she didn't split up with me because she want's to go away, it was because of 'the incident' I mentioned at the start that happened around Christmas. Which as basic as I can put it: We went to Manchester Christmas market to see one of her best mates, I got too drunk and ended up fighting. Was just with a random guy who was kicking off on his gf, but his gf ended up hitting my ex's mate n shit. All a major fuck up.

So I felt guilty and ashamed as fuck after this n it affected me pretty bad. And obviously me hating myself and not feeling myself wasn't very attractive and it eventually crumbled the relationship.

So what now? I feel she still has feelings for me but is conflicted because she's made the decision to finish it, but may be for the wrong reasons. She text me after we saw each other saying we need to let go, and she was upset. I carried on texting her that night n she basically said she doesn't know how to feel about me. And the last text was about potentially meeting up on Sat (Valentines day, so yeah not ideal) I've got a restaurant booked for us. I felt the text where going a bit more positively from her saying we should let go to her last text was 'I'll have to think about it' (regarding meeting up)

Thursday now and haven't heard anything.

Side Note: I never promised to her that me fighting would never happen again. But feel maybe I should.
I also told her knowing that the reason we split was because I wasn't acting like myself meant I though it was worth fighting for, and I wanted to hang out so it was just me being me, not the negative mind frame that messed things up.


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(#12)
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Default 22-02-2015, 12:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Witty Pun View Post
Yeah, I'm taking it pretty bad though now tbh. One reason is due to my mates, it's not there fault they just have there own lives and can't really be there for me.

I'm usually confident but I'm feeling really down n lonely at the moment. Shit because we had time apart for a week and I hadn't drank for a few weeks to get my head together (I knew I wasn't being myself and it was effecting the relationship so wanted to clear my head)

In this time I realised it's time for me to get serious and move in with her, or just generally take are relationship to the next step.

But she used this tome to see friends (who have recently also become single) and go out with work mates. (she's only had the job about 3-4 months so hasn't really done that yet) And porbably the main issue in the relationship is we started spending too much time togther. She would always come out with me n my mates n never see any of hers.

So I feel the time apart we had just made her think she wasn't having fun with me. Don't think she realises we could be together and she could see her mates, as normal people do.

We've not texted since Sunday night now. She's away with her mum this weekend n I'm a bit frustrated with what to do. I feel she misses me but has lost attraction due to just spending time and getting really comfortable together.
Mold - I once had a mate there, visited and went out on the lash.
Not much to add on time - greatest healer there is. Some will tell you go out and shag 10 more which may be temporary respite, but you'll still feel crap.

On your mates don't be too hard on them. I was feeling a bit like that recently but as you said they got their own crap, plus they may not have been through your exact situation.
My take on it is that if no one is around then either get out and meet more people (not women necessarily) or be stoic, learn to love tough times, tell yourself it's a gift, it's making you even more self sufficient. Don't chase people, don't try and make them feel guilty- they'll come back of their own accord.
This may also help..

63 Steps to Survive The Worst Moments of Your Life
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Witty Pun (22-02-2015)
(#13)
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Default 22-02-2015, 08:50 PM

Cheers man, feeling a bit better about it know. It's like my mind is just fluid at the moment changing how I feel n my perception on things from day to day. Tbh my mates have been going out with me a lot, I've not had a night out in Mold for a couple of weeks now.

Ended up randomly meeting some bird in Chester last weekend, she invited me back to a house party. Then on Friday I nailed her. It may just be a distraction but it's making me feel alright for now. And the beauty of it is she moves away in 4 weeks (the bird I met) so it's like no strings attached. It will prob mess with my head a bit when I inevitably bump into my ex but I feel I've had a sort of semi awakening. Like to just live in the moment. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow hasn't happened yet. So I'm just trying to enjoy now.


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(#14)
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Default 22-02-2015, 08:53 PM

Oh I never mentioned. Tried one last attempt to get her back Valentines day, Didn't work at all. The relationship is dead. But at least I know now and can start to move on.


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