The canteen girl that started at my work around a month ago is pretty hot. Its pretty difficult to have any kind of meaningful conversation with her as the snack bar is so busy, on average I talk to her for around 20-45 seconds a day whilst I buy something; there's always a queue of staff behind me.

So, given that we've never had any meaningful conversation, and there's not any kind of attraction, flirting or comfort present....I decided to ask her out (I'm leaving next week anyways)

I went at a time I didn't think would be busy & no one else was around. I bought something small, made some fluff talk about the day coming to an end then asked her name which she gave me. I then said "NAME, I'm leaving here next week & it's difficult to find time to talk to you here with it being so busy. I think your pretty hot - we should go out for some drinks to get to know each other better". She smiled and said she can't because she has a bf, I said "Really? Just don't tell him, we can keep it a secret" & she just laughed and said she didn't think that would be a good idea. Couple minutes more fluff talk and I left.

Things to note from this:

1. 90% sure she was lying about a bf, she's never mentioned him before. Speaking about Xmas & NY she was spending it with family & never mentions him when doing stuff at weekends. Presume this is just to be polite, I'd actually have preferred if she just said she wasn't interested.

2. I felt anxious as I was going to see her as I knew exactly what i was going to do, but not overly anxious. But when the words started coming out of my mouth - Holy shit! I started feeling my face coming out into a flush, my voice wavered and I felt a bit dizzy. Delivery really wasn;'t great. You know that feeling you get when you walk round a corner and someone jumps out on you and goes "BOO!", or when someone makes a fool out of you and everyone points and laughs at you - thats pretty much how I felt. Went from being 4/10 - 8/10 nervous in the space of a few seconds.

3. I've no idea what posessed me to do this, maybe because I'm leaving, maybe because of this thread.

Overall I'm not bothered it didn't go anywhere, a bit irked that I think she lied about a bf. The ting that worries me the most is how anxious I got as soon as I began my line to ask her out - anxiety just shot right through me & I wasn't confident at all, thats quite worrying. I'm sure you'll all probably just tell me I need to do this another 50-60 times to get used to it. I'm not going to get into melt down and whine like I did in the last few posts but i really hope this isn't some kind of major internal issue I have or that I need to do something crazy to strengthen my inner core. i suppose I should take a positive form it - at least I did it even if it was on a total whim.