I've been reading 'models by mark mason' after some comments on the forum and so far I like it.

One of my biggest problems is not showing my emotions honestly. Especially when it comes to hot women. I've met some hot women this year but fucked none. It's not because they wouldn't have fucked me it's because I didn't fuck them or try to. That's the honest reason.

The girl I fucked in the previous year I had met online. Online I can be more direct and open about my intentions ( I let the inner pervert out )

I know some hot women (not all men pretending to be women too!) respond to this but 99% won't meet you in real life but it proves a theory; which is, hot girls can be filthy too and I need to be more direct about my intentions in real life.

My goals for 2012 were to move to London and get a job there. I've done that but next year I need to invest in myself more.

So back to last night
Met up with SugarSpin. It was a quiet night but we (sugar spin) opened lots of sets. We got bought a round of drinks then got told to fuck off when we didn't reciprocate - fair comment, although SS still number closed 'fuck off' girl - nice work.

I'm beginning to see a change in my behaviour around girls I find attractive.
Towards the end of the night I saw a hot asian girl with 2 not so hot friends. All sitting down but a chair free.
I wanted to fuck her.

With all the above in my head.
So I went over and said I'd like to see down because I think you're hot.
So we got chatting. They were all from Australia and the asian girl was called Renee.
After a while I went for her number and she rejected.
It was interesting she made out she thought it was better to meet people though online dating, I disagreed and told her if I wanted 'just to fuck her I wouldn't have asked for her number'. I'm not sure what I really meant, maybe I was being defensive but it's felt sexual just by mentioning fucking her.
I next mistake was not trying to number close her again after my frank exchange.

I'm beginning to not give a fuck, must keep going.

My first goal (starting today, not Jan 1st) is to be more honest with people about my emotions and intentions.

Mark