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(#21)
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Default 19-09-2013, 10:29 PM

The environment might not be helping you to feel comfortable with showing your intent.

I must admit that I find coffee shops quite public and a bit sterile. I would also need some alcohol or I would be a bag of nerves.

Once her comfort is established maybe a bounce to a nearby bar would help.


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(#22)
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Default 17-11-2013, 08:24 PM

Been a while so I thought I'd do another update.

I'm been living and working in London about a month now.

I text Marzena again recently after our coffee meeting and she didn't reply. That was a kick in the balls and made
me think I should have made a move on her when we went for coffee. Maybe I'll send her one more text but not sure how to play that one.

I stopped seeing Andrea and LoveStruck girl as lost interest in them.

I did see Kerry a couple of weeks and she's coming up to see me next weekend (I think she might flake as it's a long way but we'll see)

Okay back to my nights out.
Friday 15th Nov

Meet up with SugarSpin, Tophat, Tebus, Serendipity & SmikeyK.

We went to Angel and spent some time jus chatting, Tebbus told us a funny dating story which helped me chill.
I didn't feel like we were creepy pickup guys, which is great. I was talking to SugarSpin about Kerry but then said we should talk to the girl behind us.
He preceded to ask for advice on my situation it was pretty funny and the women looked a little bemused.

I thought this was great and a good example to just talk what you're thinking about and not to over regulate every thing you're thinking.

So next bar I notice two cute girls and clock eyes with the Brunette, I say to SmileyK the girls are single and we should approach.
I recognise I still get AA and was perhaps asking for him to approach with me... SmikeyK without hesitation sat down next to one of the girls
and I went over to the one I had clocked eyes with. I ended up number closing her, I really only number close girls I like these days and they generally
don't flake. She has text me back so I'm trying to arrange a meetup in the week but I think should could prove hard work.
I owe that close to SmikeyK so thanks man, I need to work on my opening, you made it look so simple.


Saturday 16th Nov.
My mate from Hampshire came up. We went to Shoreditch, I was trying to help him with talking to girls and he ended up asking a girl for her number,
something he's not done for a while, so he felt great.

I stacked an opportunity with a northern hottie who I opened at the bar. She said 'where shall we go for a drink next' within 2 minutes of meeting me.
I actually felt a little intimidated and stacked in. I do love London though, now I am living here my nights out are a lot more relaxed.

Mark


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle
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(#23)
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Default 16-12-2013, 07:12 PM

Went out on Saturday to the forum meet-up. I didn't really have any motivation to go out but didn't want to let anyone down.

I got to meet a couple of new guys. I did zero approaches on women and didn't feel like it. Sorry fellow wingmen for being so lame.

At one point in the smoking area some guy came over and asked for a cigarette, he had an American accent so I asked where he was from. I thought fuck it, I'll try and warm up and start talking to him to be social. He was pretty funny and I enjoyed the interaction.

Anyway I'm coming down with a cold so I think that might have been why I felt so 'can't be bothered' on Saturday.

Promise to have some more energy next time and a better FR


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle
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(#24)
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Default 29-12-2013, 10:05 AM

I've been reading 'models by mark mason' after some comments on the forum and so far I like it.

One of my biggest problems is not showing my emotions honestly. Especially when it comes to hot women. I've met some hot women this year but fucked none. It's not because they wouldn't have fucked me it's because I didn't fuck them or try to. That's the honest reason.

The girl I fucked in the previous year I had met online. Online I can be more direct and open about my intentions ( I let the inner pervert out )

I know some hot women (not all men pretending to be women too!) respond to this but 99% won't meet you in real life but it proves a theory; which is, hot girls can be filthy too and I need to be more direct about my intentions in real life.

My goals for 2012 were to move to London and get a job there. I've done that but next year I need to invest in myself more.

So back to last night
Met up with SugarSpin. It was a quiet night but we (sugar spin) opened lots of sets. We got bought a round of drinks then got told to fuck off when we didn't reciprocate - fair comment, although SS still number closed 'fuck off' girl - nice work.

I'm beginning to see a change in my behaviour around girls I find attractive.
Towards the end of the night I saw a hot asian girl with 2 not so hot friends. All sitting down but a chair free.
I wanted to fuck her.

With all the above in my head.
So I went over and said I'd like to see down because I think you're hot.
So we got chatting. They were all from Australia and the asian girl was called Renee.
After a while I went for her number and she rejected.
It was interesting she made out she thought it was better to meet people though online dating, I disagreed and told her if I wanted 'just to fuck her I wouldn't have asked for her number'. I'm not sure what I really meant, maybe I was being defensive but it's felt sexual just by mentioning fucking her.
I next mistake was not trying to number close her again after my frank exchange.

I'm beginning to not give a fuck, must keep going.

My first goal (starting today, not Jan 1st) is to be more honest with people about my emotions and intentions.

Mark


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle

Last edited by markuk; 29-12-2013 at 11:45 AM.
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(#25)
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Default 29-12-2013, 04:08 PM

Nice post. I think you're right in that you should have tried for the number again. Best not to put too much importance on what girls say. As you said, you had introduced sex to the conversation (and it doesn't matter if it made sense) and she was still there.

Now your settled in London you've got a lot to look forward to next year. I'll be hoping to join you some nights. I've read Models and thought it was good. Very comprehensive.

On the investing aspect, it reminded me of a guest speaker on the David DeAngelo advanced series (on you tube). The speaker, Christian Carter, wrote a book called "Catch Him & Keep Him" which is aimed at teaching women how to create attraction in a man.

I've never read the book but in his spot at the DD seminar he opens by asking the audience the following question "What do you think a woman wants your number one priority to be?". A few guys in the audience shout out "her". He then says "no, she wants your number one priority to be you". This seems counterintuitive but it's also what Mark Manson proposes in his book.


Can't live with them, can't live with them
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(#26)
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Default 29-12-2013, 11:34 PM

Numbers are shit. Go for the pull. I sometimes get numbers and I guess in social circles its different but in cold approach go for the pull. The number is a complete after thought. Cooooomplete after thought. Like this ''well give me your number/take my number' if for whatever reason you cant take her home. Im not saying numbers wont be fruitful BUT they shouldnt be the aim of your interaction. Even if numbers are all you care about, treat them like its a plan B.


Know Thyself.

Have fun.
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(#27)
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Default 29-12-2013, 11:34 PM

Trust me I have a bronze medal


Know Thyself.

Have fun.
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Default 30-12-2013, 11:41 AM

You're right, Shah. One of the reason's I've been going for numbers is maybe to get validation off the girl, which is bull shit.

I've noticed the last few times I've been out all the girls are sticking around and I'm running off to get the last tube. I'm going to try going out some nights sober and driving so I can stay out as late as I want.

Mark


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle
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(#29)
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Default 30-12-2013, 08:12 PM

If you know you have to leave early then subconsciously you might be going for the number. Have you just rationalised later that it was for validation?

Staying till the end of the night would probably make a difference. I've only ever had a few SNLs but I had to work on them all night and stay until the end to close it. One interesting thing is one of the girls I had spoken to at the beginning of the night and was direct like you were. She blew me out but I saw her again near the end of the night and took her home.

The next day I asked her if she remembered speaking to me at the beginning of the night and she said no. In fact she was adamant that the first time she'd spoken to me was at the end of the night. It might have just been the drink making her forget (but more likely it was her slut shield activating as on the first interaction I had asked her to come back to my place).

But I wonder if my first direct approach made an impression on her that triggered something when she saw me later on in a different pub (when she approached me). If you can find out where they're headed later on it's worth going there...and stay until the end.


Can't live with them, can't live with them

Last edited by Serendipity; 30-12-2013 at 08:43 PM.
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Default 11-01-2014, 09:39 AM

Friday 10th

Met up with wit a few of the guys at the porter house last night.

I still tend to get in my head far too much. However I pushed myself to do an approach with two girls who we'd seen standing at the bar for some time. I didn't really fancy either but just wanted to get going. They were a little stand-offish at first but i've come to expect that. They warmed up a little and we spoke but I didn't fancy either so I said goodbye and left.

SugarSpin next opened a couple of women at the side and I went in to wing him. I started chatting to a blonde girl, I didn't fancy her and it felt quite hard work initially. In the end I made a real effort to listen to her and found out she was a smart girl and she seemed to be enjoying talking to me. However I didn't fancy her.

I'm being more honest with myself around women, Mark Mason proposed we think of women in binary, we either find them attractive or not. None of this 1-10 scoring bull shit.

So back to the night. I spotted two women at the bar. both were attractive (blonde and brunette) and approaching them was difficult but I pushed myself to it.

Straight away the blonde did most of the talking but the brunette was just gorgeous and was staring straight at me with a huge smile, amazing. The blonde girl was from Sweden and her quieter brunette friend from Germany.

The blonde girl was being quite bitchy to me, I didn't mind this, I don't think I would have done anything differently in hindsight. She said 'are you here by yourself' I gave some pretty chilled replies however I was being a little reactive.
I thought to myself 'I did come here with guys, but I approached on myself I could do this anytime, I rock!...

I felt I had to warm the blonde girl up to have a chance with the hot brunette. I think I should have just ignored the blonde girl and talked to the hot brunette and told her I thought she was hot. (Someone told me to stop using the word should as it's pointless, perhaps I should)

After a few minutes the blonde asked if she could talk to her friend alone. So I said goodbye.

There was one other girl I thought was hot and I didn't approach and she was standing by herself looking at her phone. In my head I made an excuse that was was waiting for her boyfriend, so didn't approach. After a minute or two her girl friend arrived.... I missed out.


In summary, It's good I'm going and not drinking much and I need to keep approaching the women I find hot. Talking to a women just for the sake of it is bull shit. I'm out to meet hot women and have fun and I need to keep pushing myself in this direction.


Mark


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle

Last edited by markuk; 11-01-2014 at 09:42 AM.
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