I know exactly what you mean by this. There is a lot of conflicting advice.
I agree in what Nova is saying and what a lot of successful guys say, which is pretty much to go out lots and try different things. Eventually you'll develop your own approach.

I was thinking this today at work, how easy my job is now and comparing it to years ago when I found software development really hard. I just kept pushing myself and kept failing but I eventually got good at it.

It's the same with anything, I guess with women's it's more scary, ego is on the line.

I am pretty sure the girls I've recently been in contact with have all gone cold because I didn't show enough intent. I actually am pleased they went cold on me. Now I know what I was doing was not working so I have to adapt.

I am really going to push myself to be more direct.