I am happy with the progress I've made over the initial 6 months or so that I've been on this site and actively participating in self improvement. Some things I've worked better on than other things but I have always seen and continue to see improvement.

I think the events of yesterday summed up my strengths and weaknesses really well.


I went into the JobCentre yesterday per usual to collect my bus ticket money, just to help me get to and from work before my first pay packet. There is always a young girl whose employed to basically sit there searching for jobs and ring people about them. She talks to me every time I go in the building, without fail, we've even exchanged cheeky emails. I knew she liked me from the start, the receptionist basically gave that away. Anyway, I told her that I'm working at M&S and she seemed really excited that she'd see me out of work as she shops at that M&S, apparently. Same with the receptionist. Seems a bit strange to me as it's a retail park in the middle of nowhere but we'll see. Wished me good look, gave me a hug and said "I'll see you soon all suited up". Aww.


At the bus depot there were two girls, about 17 or 18 haha idk. They definitely liked me, the brunette more than the blonde and I the same. I went to get in line for the bus, as did they, I realized that it was the wrong bus so I pulled out of the queue, soon as I pulled out they backed out of the queue too and decided to walk past me with the brunette making eye contact and blushing. They stood close to me and I just started laughing at the whole situation, I turned to them and said "So that wasn't your bus either, which one are you waiting for?". There was a good 5 minute conversation before they got their bus and the brunette waved to me as the bus pulled off. Cute.


During talking to the girls, there was a guy in the happiest fucking mood ever imaginable, he was hilarious. He was paranoid that the bus he wanted went past the bus at the stands and he was traipsing up and down in the funniest amateur dramatics ever. Kinda made me wonder how funny it was for everyone watching when I burst out in funny outlandish dramatics when a 24 year old girl called me "cute" a few days ago.


On the bus I had spurts of talking to an elderly guy doing a crossword puzzle. How the hell people can read in a moving vehicle is beyond me, for some reason it makes me physically sick. Anyway, he was basically laughing his tits off at the guy doing all the amateur dramatics.


The next person I got talking to was purely by accident. I was sat in my seat on the bus and swiveled round to look out the back window, when I looked up I saw 12 eyes from within the double decker bus staring back at me, it kinda weird-ed me out, as my bus turned left and their bus went straight on, their eyes we still fixated on me, fucking creepy. As I turned back I caught the glimpse of a guy with his headphones in, I don't know what I did nor the expression on my face but for whatever reason he suddenly took out his headphones and made a "what did you say" gesture. So I improvised and ended up talking to him for about 10 minutes. found out quite a lot about him, he works with disabled/handicapped children offering a kind of social activity sessions to help better the quality of life and aid the families. That is all brilliant stuff in my book and I detected a slight disability that he has, so for him to overcome that and provide support and help out disabled children who are going through similar things to what he went through is fantastic. Kudos to him.



So I can see I definitely don't have a problem talking to people and my off the cuff style makes it pritty easy for my to improvise, though as a guess I'd probably say if I had time to think about the situation I maybe wouldn't do as good.
My major setbacks can be seen with how I ended the conversation with the 2 girls at the bus depot. I didn't escalate in any way, shape or form and I didn't close at all. I need to work on these 2 areas as I've seen through recent weeks my quite obvious lack of escalation and closing is effecting my progression. Yes I have closed girls before so I know I can do it so the reason to why I'm not doing it maybe because I'm not thinking about it. Escalation seems non-existent to me, I hardly ever touch the girl(s) and thinking about it, on the run up to having sex with different girls, I've never done physical escalation outside the bedroom other than a hug and shit like that.

I end up kicking myself after most approaches as I can see so many ways that I can escalate, I've let so many opportunities of escalation or closing slip past. Last night I was pritty pissed with myself for not closing at least the brunette girl. So I decided to quickly go online and reply to a few messages I've got with the intention of sending 1 message, getting a reply and then just going for the phone number. I got 2 phone numbers and they're legitimate as well so that shows it's easy to do, I've just got to push myself into it.

So, definitely things to work on.