Ok... i understand all of what you are saying. Yes my past is plagued by a lot of abuse, by defeated and buried i meant i faced that deamon long ago and came out stronger from doing it.

I am going out and meeting new people. I run day game a lot and yes it is hard but a challenge is worth rising to.

As a friend told me long ago:

"Life is a journey, not a destination. Just fill up the gas tank as i ain't walking".

I have never given up on who i am. Yes i am stubborn that's why i won't quit at anything i do, even if i am likely to fail or die.